Mercenary Trilogy - Willing Part 19

"I'm no longer a mercenary," Josie informed him.

"You're not FBI either. Stay out of it," was the detective's uncompromising response.

Josie's mouth set in a mutinous line Daniel had learned meant she was about to get stubborn. "These people tried to kill my father. I want to know why."

"You would do better using your resources trying to locate Mr. McCall than the a.s.sailants." The officer stared Josie down, which was quite a feat in Daniel's opinion. "If you interfere in a federal investigation, you could be facing charges."

"I have no intention of interfering," she said in a tone that would have shriveled most men.

The state police detective merely nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. Stay out of airplanes and we'll be just fine."

Glaring, she opened her mouth, and Daniel thought the time had come to interfere. "Why would this group target Tyler McCall?"

Detective Johnson met Daniel's eyes. "You recently bought in to the school, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"That could be the reason right there. This group is ideologically opposed to Caucasians going into business ventures, or any other legal tie, with non-Caucasians."

"That's ridiculous." Josie's moss green eyes shot derision at the detective.

She was still mad he'd told her to stay out of his investigation.

"I agree, ma'am. I was only giving you a possible reason for their aggression toward your father."

"But why target Dad out of all the businessmen in the U.S. who have non-Caucasian business partners?" She frowned in fierce thought. "That's too flimsy a connection. Besides, we know at least one of them was a student. It has to be something to do with the school itself."

"What type of training camp did he attend?" the detective asked.

Josie looked through the papers Daniel had left on the table and pulled one out, then handed it to the officer. "One that focused on high-level explosives and the more sophisticated forms of warfare. The particulars are here."

He took the paper and looked at it, his expression freezing into disapproval. "This is just the type of information we don't need domestic terrorists getting their hands on."

"Dad is very particular about what students he takes on. If their background checks link them to domestic or foreign terrorist groups even remotely, he refuses their applications."

The detective looked unimpressed. "You can fake a background. There's no way your dad can guarantee the character of the men and women he chooses to train."

Her gaze shot to Daniel's, and they shared a moment of perfect understanding, both remembering their discussion along a similar vein earlier. But then she turned back to the officer, deliberately breaking the link. "Neither can the army, but no one has proposed shutting its doors down."

Stone's lips quirked. "You have a point, but the fact is, your dad obviously did train some domestic terrorists, and I'm guessing they aren't wild about there being any record of them learning this stuff." He waved the paper at Josie.

"You think they blew up an entire compound, tried to kill my father and broke in to my house all just to stop other people from knowing what type of specialized knowledge and training they had?" Josie asked incredulously.

The detective shrugged, looking resigned and weary with the knowledge he had of human nature. "We're talking about fanatics here. The kind of men who would blow up an elementary school if it was in the way of their agenda."

Josie was still reeling at the thought of her father unknowingly training domestic terrorists and being attacked because of it when Hotwire left to pick up Claire from her cla.s.ses. The local police had gotten rid of the reporters, but the more stalwart had returned and were making a nuisance of themselves on the sidewalk.

They'd come into the yard again, but moved to the sidewalk after Daniel went outside and made his presence felt with silent, but palpable anger emanating from his every pore. He was back inside now, going over the records she'd printed earlier despite the detective's injunction to leave that part of the investigation to the authorities.

He'd taken her jump drive, but had no authority to require her to delete the records she'd already

transferred to Hotwire's hard drive. Not that she'd mentioned them to him.She was still trying to track down her father's possible aliases. It required meticulous research andreading through a lot of records that ended up having no information of use, but she'd read the phonebook for every major county in the U.S. if it meant finding her dad.

Checking her e-mail, she opened up an automated reply from one of the databases she had sent a query to. It listed the purchase five years ago of a piece of property in the Nevada desert under the name of one of her father's Vietnam buddies, Andrew Taylor. The man had been dead for almost a decade.

Excited at the breakthrough, she narrowed her search on that name to the area surrounding the property and came up with some other interesting pieces of information.

She wrote it all down, her heart lighter than it had been since her father walked out of his hospital room, his ability to remember still in question.

"I'm thirty-two."She was so focused on what she was doing that the sound of Daniel's voice from behind her made herjump. She spun around in her task chair, her heartbeat accelerated. "What?"

He leaned against the doorjamb, his arms crossed, black hair framing his taciturn features. "I'mthirty-two.""I'm twenty-six. Is there supposed to be something significant about that?""Everyone else thinks I'm thirty-four.""Everyone?""Everyone but Master Sergeant Cordell.""Why?"

"Because that's what I told them.""Oh." Was she losing her mind, or was it him? Most people lied about being younger than they were, notolder.

"I joined the army when I was sixteen, and I had to lie about my age to do it. I'm much better atprevaricating than you are. I've got a lot of practice."She wasn't sure how she felt knowing that. "But your birth certificate...""Faked."

"I feel like you're trying to tell me something, but I don't know what it is."Subtle tension seeped into his features. "I ran away from home when I was sixteen because when my dadlost his temper, he hit. Drinking made him more susceptible to anger, and he'd begun drinking more andmore."

Daniel had said his mother was dead. Maybe his dad drank to forget her. Some men did. "Was your mom gone then?"

"No. She was the reason I left."

Josie felt her stomach twisting in a tight knot of apprehension. "How so?"

"They fought about me most of the time. She wanted me to go to school, to make something of myself. It made him furious. He accused her of thinking he was less of a man because he wasn't educated." Daniel pushed away from the door and came into the room, his tension more p.r.o.nounced. "Thunder was raised on the reservation. He was an artist, following the old ways, but in order to live, he sold his work in a gallery that catered to tourists."

"Your mom had a problem with this?"

Daniel's face contorted for a second before all expression smoothed from it. "Not really, but she grew up off the reservation until she was sixteen. Her parents died in a sailing accident that year, and she went to live with my great-grandfather."

"Is that how she and your father met?"

"Yes. She never complained about her life with my father, but she wanted me to experience life beyond the reservation. She believed that a person's life should not be limited by their birth."

That was something Josie was trying to prove. Being born a soldier didn't make her a soldier. "Smart lady."

"Not smart enough to leave my father. He said she wanted me to deny my heritage and leave the reservation because our way of life wasn't good enough for her. When he drank, he did more than accuse."

"He beat her?"

"Sometimes he only yelled; sometimes he would yell until he totally lost his cool, and then he'd hit her. He had a violent temper, but I knew it was mostly my fault, that without me to fight about, he wouldn't get so mad at her."

Josie made a sound of distress, her heart constricting at Daniel's belief he was responsible for his dad's lack of self-control, or his mother's choice to tolerate it.

His eyes reflected pain she wished she could a.s.suage. "The worst of it was that I never wanted my mom' s dream for me. I wanted to be a soldier, had wanted it since I was a little kid. I wanted to know how to fight and how to win, how to stop my dad from hurting me and my mom."

"What happened?"

"After my first tour of duty, my mom begged me to get out of the army, to come home to the reservation and take care of my father. He was drinking more then and was finding it hard to keep a job."

"But you refused."

"I was a Ranger, and for the first time in my life, I was proud of what and who I was. I told my mom to leave him, that I would take care of her, but she refused. She loved him." He said the words with such scorn, and finally Josie understood where it came from.

His mother had used love as an excuse to stay in an abusive relationship that had destroyed her family and caused a separation with her son.

"A year after I signed on for my second tour, my dad lost his temper again and threw my mom against a wall. Her head hit at the wrong angle, and she was knocked out. She went into a coma. I flew home and sat beside her hospital bed for three days, but she died without ever coming out of it."

And he had been denied the opportunity to say goodbye, or tell his mom that he loved her. Josie's eyes stung with tears. "It wasn't your fault. Your mother chose to stay in a destructive relationship. She knew the risks, and she stayed."

"If I'd gone home, I could have been there to stop him. I should have gotten out of the army and stayed with her. I should have taken care of her, but I'm no good at taking care of other people."

"Your mother didn't ask you to come home to protect her; she asked you to come home and take care of your drunk of a father," she said, taking a stab in the dark, "didn't she?"

"Yes."

"She wanted you to protect him, not her, and you couldn't have done that. You would have hurt him physically the next time he lost his temper and hit your mother. She would have kicked you out of the house and blamed you for not being patient enough." Josie didn't have a lot of experience with abuse victims, but Claire had taken her to a women's shelter once so she could teach a cla.s.s in self-defense.

Most of the women there wanted new lives, but they had shared with her the kind of twisted thinking that had kept them in their victim roles.

Daniel moved toward her, his expression grim. "You're wrong. I was an adult then. I could have convinced her to leave him if I'd taken the time to go home, if I'd cared more about her safety than my pride."

"No. You're a good man, Daniel. You had to make a life for yourself away from your parents, or you would have ended up in the same ugly cycle they lived in."

"I'm not getting married, so that can't happen. I'll never hurt a woman like he hurt her."

So many things became clear to Josie. Daniel hadn't been rejecting her earlier. He'd been rejecting himself as someone who could make her feel safe. His mother hadn't been safe, and he thought that was his fault. He'd spent his adult life fighting other people's battles, saving people as part of a mercenary team that specialized in extractions, but he still believed he wasn't a protector.

It would be laughable if he didn't believe it.

Running his latest words through her mind again, she realized something else. He wasn't against a long-term commitment with her; he really did have an aversion to marriage.

"Are you seriously afraid you'd end up like your father?" The same man who had practically given himself a heart attack a.s.suring her first time making love was special and as painless as possible.

"Everyone who's ever met the both of us says we're carbon copies, that we could be twins."

"On the outside maybe. Even if you got your to-die-for good looks from him, you've got something he didn't have where it counts." She stood up and reached for him, pressing her hand over his heart. "You aren't alike inside. You'd die for me before you would hurt me, no matter how angry you were. I know it."

Something sparked in his almost black eyes. It looked like hope, but then it was gone. "I don't believe in love and commitment, Josie."

"I know." And she understood, but that didn't change the way she felt. "It doesn't matter because I do believe in you. I still feel safe with you, Daniel."

"You shouldn't, d.a.m.n it. Didn't you hear what I said? When the important moment comes, I could make the wrong choice. I could put myself first."

Both his parents had a lot to answer for in her mind, but Josie wasn't buying any of Daniel's fears. "I'm betting you won't." She didn't say wouldn't as if there was a possibility the occasion would not arise because she knew the time would come.

And either he was going to rip her heart out by its moorings and walk away, or overcome his fears to make a future with her. With this new insight, she believed that given enough time together, he'd do the latter. It would just take time for him to realize that fact.

In the meantime she wasn't going to dwell on her own unhappy truth: that in order to have a future with Daniel, she had to give up her dreams of leaving the soldiering life behind. She never had to be a mercenary again, but if she wanted to be with him, she would have to move back to the mountain and spend her time surrounded by soldiers in training.

Any children they had would be raised the way she'd been raised, maybe not as stringently, but soldiering would be the life they knew. They would be misfits in a world that had an uneasy alliance with its military. Perhaps she would have to give up her dream of being a mother at all.

She understood Daniel's mother's frustrations. She'd fought against her son being limited by his surroundings and paid a huge price for refusing to back down. According to Josie's dad's diaries, the only thing her father and mother had fought about was his need to raise her with the ability to protect herself from any foe.

"What happened to your dad?"

"He went to prison for manslaughter. I was a witness for the prosecution. I wanted a murder charge." She could feel Daniel's pain reaching out to wrap itself around her and squeeze at her sore heart.

"They didn't take his pattern of abuse into consideration?" she asked.

"It was unsubstantiated. I'd been gone too long for my testimony in that regard to be taken into consideration, but there was no doubt that he was responsible for her death."

"But you weren't."

"We all have regrets to live with. I can't dismiss mine."

"Fine." She grabbed his shirt in both of her fists, needing him to hear what she was saying. "Regret not being able to help your mother, but don't blame yourself for her choices or your father's. They were both adults. She could have walked out any time, and you would have taken care of her. She didn't, and she paid a price for staying with a man who couldn't or wouldn't control his temper. None of that was your fault."

"Maybe he didn't know how," he said, ignoring her exonerating words. "It took me a long time to learn to control mine, and that was with a really good teacher."

"Does he get in a lot of fights in prison?"

"I don't know. I don't keep in touch."

She understood it, but wondered if that choice had taken another toll on Daniel. "Have you everconsidered going to see him?""No.""Has he ever tried to contact you?""No."She couldn't tell if that bothered him or not. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have one parent responsible for the death of the other. Love and family loyalty got irretrievably twisted anddistorted in that scenario."Why did you tell me all this?""I hurt you.""When you told me that I didn't count for anything but s.e.x?"

His eyes flared, and his jaw locked, but she didn't give him a chance to say anything."Yes, you did hurt me. Are you trying to tell me that maybe I mean something to you and that despiteyour belief you aren't capable of watching over me and being trusted with my safety, you're doing itanyway because you care too much to turn away from me?"

She wasn't making guesses about anything with him anymore. She wanted his feelings spelled out. If hesaid no, it would hurt, but at least she wouldn't be deluding herself.His hands locked on to her waist, and his body vibrated with tension. "I don't want you hurt."She just looked at him, willing him to answer her question.

Something seemed to snap inside of him, and he gritted out, "Yes, d.a.m.n it, yes. Are you satisfied?"She reached up on tiptoes and pressed her lips oh so softly to his. "Thank you, Daniel. That means somuch to me."

His arms locked around her, and the kiss they shared was both pa.s.sionate and full of commitment. It was a confirmation of their value to each other, of feelings that went beyond s.e.xual gratification, of a connection that reached into the spiritual. If only he would let himself see it.

"Uh, should we come back later?"

The sound of Hotwire's voice broke through the intimacy of the kiss, and Josie reluctantly allowed Danielto pull away.He turned with one arm still locked around her, effectively turning her, too. "If I say yes, will you go away?""Actually, I was going to suggest we all go away.""What do you mean?" Claire asked, standing on the other side of Hotwire.He smiled at her and then at Josie and Daniel. "Josie's a fantastic cook, no doubt about it, but maybe if we leave, go get some dinner, the straggler reporters will take off, too."