Mediaeval Tales Part 33

CHAPTER x.x.xVIII.

_How Dr. Faustus sold five Swine for six Dollars apiece._

Dr. Faustus began another jest. He made ready five fat swine the which he sold to one for six dollars apiece, upon this condition, that the swine-driver should not drive them into the water. Dr. Faustus went home again, and as the swine had fouled themselves in the mud, the swine-driver drove them into the water, where presently they were changed into so many bundles of straw, swimming upright in the water.

The buyer looked wistfully upon them, and was sorry in his heart; but he knew not where to find Faustus; so he was content to let all go, and lose both money and hogs.

CHAPTER x.x.xIX.

_How Dr. Faustus played a merry Jest with the Duke of Anhalt in his Court._

Dr. Faustus on a time went to the Duke of Anhalt, who welcomed him very courteously. This was in the month of January; where sitting at table, he perceived the d.u.c.h.ess to be with child; and forbearing himself until the meat was taken from the table, and that they brought in the banqueting dishes, Dr. Faustus said to the d.u.c.h.ess, "Gracious lady, I have always heard that women with child do always long for some dainties; I beseech therefore your grace, hide not your mind from me, but tell me what you desire to eat."

She answered him: "Dr. Faustus, now truly I will not hide from you what my heart doth much desire; namely, that if it were now harvest, I would eat my fill of grapes and other dainty fruit."

Dr. Faustus answered hereupon: "Gracious lady, this is a small thing for me to do, for I can do more than this." Wherefore he took a plate and set it upon one of the cas.e.m.e.nts of the window, holding it forth, where incontinent he had his dish full of all manner of fruit, as red and white grapes, pears, and apples, the which came from out of strange countries. All these he presented to the d.u.c.h.ess, saying: "Madam, I pray you vouchsafe to taste of this dainty fruit, the which came from a far country, for there the summer is not yet ended." The d.u.c.h.ess thanked Faustus highly, and she fell to her fruit with full appet.i.te.

The Duke of Anhalt notwithstanding could not withhold to ask Faustus with what reason there were such young fruits to be had at that time of the year?

Dr. Faustus told him: "May it please your grace to understand, that the year is divided into two circles of the whole world, that when with us it is winter, in the contrary circle it is notwithstanding summer; for in India and Saba there falleth or setteth a sun, so that it is so warm, that they have twice a year fruit; and, gracious lord, I have a swift spirit, the which can in a twinkling of an eye fulfil my desire in anything; wherefore I sent him into those countries, who hath brought this fruit as you see;" whereat the duke greatly admired.

CHAPTER XL.

_How Dr. Faustus, through his Charms, made a great Castle in the presence of the Duke of Anhalt._

Dr. Faustus desired the Duke of Anhalt to walk a little forth of the court with him; wherefore they went together in the field, where Dr.

Faustus (through his skill) had placed a mighty castle, which when the duke saw he wondered thereat, so did the d.u.c.h.ess and all the beholders, that on that hill which is called Rohumbuel, should on the sudden be so fair a castle. At length Dr. Faustus desired the duke and d.u.c.h.ess to walk with him into the castle, which they denied not. This castle was so wonderful strong, having about it a great deep trench of water, the which was full of fish, and all manner of water-fowl, as swans, ducks, geese, bitterns, and such like; about the wall was five stone doors, and two other doors also; within was a great open court, wherein was enchanted all manner of wild beasts, especially such as was not to be found in Germany, as apes, bears, buffes, antelopes, and many more strange beasts; also there were harts, hinds, roebucks, and does, and wild swine; all manner of land-fowl that any man could think on, which flew from one tree to another.

After all this he set his guests to the table, being the duke and d.u.c.h.ess, with all their train, for he had provided them a most sumptuous feast both of meat, and also of drink; for he set nine messes of meat upon the board at once. And all this must his Wagner do, to place all things on the board, the which was brought unto him by the spirit invisibly, of all things their hearts could desire, as wild-fowl, venison, and all manner of dainty fish that could be thought on. Of wine also great plenty, and of divers sorts, French wine, Cullen wine, Crabashir wine, Renish wine, Spanish wine, Hungarian wine, Waszburg wine, Malmsey, and Sack; in the whole there was one hundred cans standing round about the house.

This sumptuous banquet the duke took thankfully, and afterwards he departed homeward; but to their thinking they had neither eat nor drank, so were they blinded while they were in the castle. But as they were in their palace, they looked towards the castle, and beheld it all on a flame of fire, and all those that saw it wondered to hear so strange a noise, as if a great ordnance had been shot off. And thus the castle burned and consumed clean away; which done, Dr. Faustus returned to the duke, who gave him great thanks for showing of him so great a courtesy, and gave him a hundred dollars, and liberty to depart or stay there at his own discretion.

CHAPTER XLI.

_How Dr. Faustus, with his Company, visited the Bishop of Salisburg's Wine-cellar._

Dr. Faustus having taken leave of the duke, he went to Wittenburg, near about Shrovetide, and being in company with certain students, Dr.

Faustus was himself the G.o.d of Bacchus, who having well feasted the students before with dainty fare, after the manner of Germany, where it is counted no feast unless all the bidden guests be drunk, which Dr.

Faustus intending, said, "Gentlemen, and my guests, will it please you to take a cup of wine with me in a place or cellar whereunto I will bring you?" They all said willingly, "We will;" which, when Dr. Faustus heard, he took them forth, set each of them upon a holly-wand, and so was conjured into the Bishop of Salisburg's cellar, for thereabouts grew excellent pleasant wine. There fell Faustus and his company a-drinking and swilling, not of the worst, but of the best.

And as they were merry in the cellar, came to draw drink the bishop's butler; which when he perceived so many persons there, he cried with a loud voice, "Thieves, thieves!" This spited Dr. Faustus wonderfully, wherefore he made every one of his company to sit on their holly-wand, and so vanished away. And in parting, Dr. Faustus took the butler by the hair of the head, and carried him away with them, until they came to a mighty high-lopped tree; and on the top of that huge tree he set the butler, where he remained in a most fearful perplexity.

Dr. Faustus departed to his house, where they took their valete one after another, drinking the wine that they had stolen in their bottles out of the bishop's cellar. The butler, that had held himself by the hands upon the lopped tree all the night, was almost frozen with the cold, espying the day, and seeing the tree of huge great highness, thought with himself, "It is impossible to come off this tree without peril of death." At length, espying certain clowns pa.s.sing by, he cried, "For the love of G.o.d help me down!" The clowns, seeing him so high, wondered what madman would climb up so huge a tree; wherefore, as a thing most miraculous, they carried tidings to the Bishop of Salisburg.

Then was there great running on every side to see him on the tree, and many devices they practised to get him down with ropes, and being demanded of the bishop how he came there, he said that he was brought thither, by the hair of the head, by certain thieves that were robbing of the wine-cellar, but what they were he knew not; "for," said he, "they had faces like men, but they wrought like devils."

CHAPTER XLII.

_How Dr. Faustus kept his Shrovetide._

There were seven students and masters that studied divinity, jurisprudentiae, and medicinae. All these having consented, were agreed to visit Dr. Faustus, and to celebrate Shrovetide with him; who being come to his house, he gave them their welcome, for they were his dear friends, desiring them to sit down, where he served them with a very good supper of hens, fish, and other roast, yet were they but slightly cheered; wherefore Dr. Faustus comforted his guests, excusing himself that they had stolen upon him so suddenly, that he had not leisure to provide for them so well as they were worthy. "But, my good friends,"

quoth he, "according to the use of our country, we must drink all this night; and so a draught of the best wine bedwards is commendable. For you know that in great potentates' courts they use at this night great feasting, the like will I do for you; for I have three great flagons of wine: the first is full of Hungarian wine, containing eight gallons; the second of Italian wine, containing seven gallons; the third containing six gallons of Spanish wine; all the which we will tipple up before it be day. Besides, we have fifteen dishes of meat, the which my spirit Mephistophiles hath fetched so far, that it was cold before he brought it, and they are all full of the daintiest things that one's heart can devise. But," saith Faustus, "I must make them hot again; and you may believe me, gentlemen, that this is no blinding of you; whereas you think that this is no natural food, verily it is as good and as pleasant as ever you eat."

And having ended his tale, he commanded his boy to lay his cloth, which done, he served them with fifteen messes of meat, having three dishes in a mess; in the which were all manner of venison, and dainty wild-fowl; and for wine there was no lack, as Italian wine, Hungarian wine, and Spanish wine; and when they were all made drunk, and that they had eaten their good cheer, they began to sing and dance until it was day. And so they departed every one to his own habitation; at whose departing, Dr.

Faustus desired them to be his guests again the next day following.

CHAPTER XLIII.

_How Dr. Faustus feasted his Guests on Ash Wednesday._

Upon Ash Wednesday came unto Dr. Faustus his bidden guests, the students, whom he feasted very royally, insomuch that they were all full and l.u.s.ty, dancing and singing as the night before; and when the high gla.s.ses and goblets were caroused one to another, Dr. Faustus began to play them some pretty feats, insomuch that round about the hall was heard most pleasant music, and that in sundry places: in this corner a lute, in another a cornet, in another a cittern, clarigols, harp, hornpipe, in fine, all manner of music was heard there in that instant; whereat all the gla.s.ses and goblets, cups, and pots, dishes, and all that stood upon the board began to dance. Then Dr. Faustus took ten stone pots and set them down on the floor, where presently they began to dance, and to smite one against another, that the shivers flew round about the whole house, whereat the whole company fell a-laughing. Then began he another jest: he set an instrument upon the table, and caused a mighty great ape to come among them, which ape began to dance and skip, showing them merry conceits.

In this and such pastime they pa.s.sed away the whole day. When night being come Dr. Faustus bid them all to supper, which they lightly agreed unto, for students in these cases are easily intreated; wherefore he promised to feast them with a banquet of fowl, and afterwards they would go all about with a mask. Then Dr. Faustus put forth a long pole out of the window, whereupon presently there came innumerable numbers of birds and wild-fowl, and so many as came had not the power to fly away again; but he took them and flung them to the students, who lightly pulled off the necks of them, and being roasted, they made their supper, which being ended, they made themselves ready for the mask.

Dr. Faustus commanded every one to put on a clean shirt over the other clothes, which being done, they looked one upon another. It seemed to each one of them that they had no heads; and so they went forth unto certain of their neighbours, at which sight the people were most wonderfully afraid; and as the use of Germany is, that wheresoever a mask entereth the good man of the house must feast him, so as these maskers were set to their banquet, they seemed again in their former shape with heads, insomuch that they were all known whom they were; and having sat and well eat and drank, Dr. Faustus made that every one had an a.s.s's head on, with great long ears, so they fell to dancing and to drive away the time until it was midnight, and then every one departed home; and as soon as they were out of the house, each one was in his natural shape, and so they ended and went to sleep.

CHAPTER XLIV.

_How Dr. Faustus the Day following was feasted by the Students, and of his merry Jests with them while he was in their Company._

The last baccha.n.a.lia was held on Thursday, where ensued a great snow, and Dr. Faustus was invited unto the students that were with him the day before, where they prepared an excellent banquet for him, which banquet being ended, Dr. Faustus began to play his old projects. And forthwith was in the place thirteen apes, that took hands and danced round in a ring together; then they fell to tumbling and vaulting one after another, that it was most pleasant to behold; then they leaped out of the window and vanished away. Then they set before Dr. Faustus a roasted calf's head, which one of the students cut a piece off, and laid it on Dr. Faustus his trencher, which piece was no sooner laid down but the calf's head began to cry mainly out like a man, "Murder, murder! Out, alas! what dost thou to me?" Whereat they were all amazed, but after a while, considering of Faustus's jesting tricks, they began to laugh, and they pulled asunder the calf's head and eat it up.

Whereupon Dr. Faustus asked leave to depart, but they would in nowise agree to let him go, except that he would promise to come again presently. Then Faustus, through his cunning, made a sledge, the which was drawn about the house with four fiery dragons. This was fearful for the students to behold, for they saw Faustus ride up and down, as though he would have fired and slain all them that were in the house. This sport continued until midnight, with such a noise that they could not hear one another; the heads of the students were so light that they thought themselves to be in the air all that time.