Married Part 42

"Was she such a miser, then? She had already more than she knew how to spend; why should she want to earn money?"

"To be on an equal footing with him."

"That could never be, for she would always be in a position to which he could never hope to attain. It was nature's will that the woman was to be the mother, not the man."

"A very stupid arrangement!"

"Very likely! The opposite might have been the case, but that would have been equally stupid."

"Yes; but her life was unbearable. It didn't satisfy her to live for the family only, she wanted to live for others as well."

"Hadn't she better begin with the family? There was plenty of time to think of the others."

The conversation might have continued through all eternity; as it was it only lasted an hour.

The lawyer was, of course, away almost all day long, and even when he was at home he had his consulting hours. It drove Adeline nearly mad.

He was always locked in his consulting-room with other women who confided information to him which he was bound to keep secret. These secrets formed a barrier between them, and made her feel that he was more than a match for her.

It roused a sullen hatred in her heart; she resented the injustice of their mutual relationship; she sought for a means to drag him down.

Come down he must, so that they should be on the same level.

One day she proposed the foundation of a sanatorium. He said all he could against it, for he was very busy with his practice. But on further consideration he thought that occupation of some sort might be the saving of her; perhaps it would help her to settle down.

The sanatorium was founded; he was one of the directors.

She was on the Committee and ruled. When she had ruled for six months, she imagined herself so well up in the art of healing that she interviewed patients and gave them advice.

"It's easy enough," she said.

Then it happened that the house-surgeon made a mistake, and she straightway lost all confidence in him. It further happened that one day, in the full consciousness of her superior wisdom, she prescribed for a patient herself, in the doctor's absence. The patient had the prescription made up, took it and died.

This necessitated a removal to another centre of activity. But it disturbed the equilibrium. A second child, which was born about the same time, disturbed it still more and, to make matters worse, a rumour of the fatal accident was spreading through the town.

The relations between husband and wife were unlovely and sad, for there had never been any love between them. The healthy, powerful natural instinct, which does not reflect, was absent; what remained was an unpleasant liaison founded on the uncertain calculations of a selfish friendship.

She never voiced the thoughts hatched behind her burning brow after she had discovered that she was mistaken in believing that she had a higher mission, but she made her husband suffer for it.

Her health failed; she lost her appet.i.te and refused to go out. She grew thin and seemed to be suffering from a chronic cough. The husband made her repeatedly undergo medical examinations, but the doctors were unable to discover the cause of her malady. In the end he became so accustomed to her constant complaints that he paid no more attention to them.

"I know it's unpleasant to have an invalid wife," she said.

He admitted in his heart that it was anything but pleasant; had he loved her, he would neither have felt nor admitted it.

Her emaciation became so alarming, that he could not shut his eyes to it any longer, and had to consent to her suggestion that she should consult a famous professor.

Adeline was examined by the celebrity. "How long have you been ill?"

he asked.

"I have never been very strong since I left the country," she replied.

"I was born in the country."

"Then you don't feel well in town?"

"Well? Who cares whether I feel well or not?" And her face a.s.sumed an expression which left no room for doubt: she was a martyr.

"Do you think that country air would do you good?" continued the professor.

"Candidly, I believe that it is the only thing which could save my life."

"Then why don't you live in the country?"

"My husband couldn't give up his profession for my sake."

"He has a wealthy wife and we have plenty of lawyers."

"You think, then, that we ought to live in the country?"

"Certainly, if you believe that it would do you good. You are not suffering from any organic disease, but your nerves are unstrung; country air would no doubt benefit you."

Adeline returned home to her husband very depressed.

"Well?"

"The professor had sentenced her to death if she remained in town."

The lawyer was much upset. But since the fact that his distress was mainly caused by the thought of giving up his practice was very apparent, she held that she had absolute proof that the question of her health was a matter of no importance to him.

"What? He didn't believe that it was a matter of life and death?

Didn't he think the professor knew better than he? Was he going to let her die?"

He was not going to let her die. He bought an estate in the country and engaged an inspector to look after it.

As a sheriff and a district-judge were living on the spot, the lawyer had no occupation. The days seemed to him as endless as they were unpleasant. Since his income had stopped with his practice, he was compelled to live on his wife's money. In the first six months he read a great deal and played "Fortuna." In the second six months he gave up reading, as it served no object. In the third he amused himself by doing needle-work.

His wife, on the other hand, devoted herself to the farm, pinned up her skirts to the knees and went into the stables. She came into the house dirty, and smelling of the cow-shed. She felt well and ordered the labourers about that it was a pleasure to hear her, for she had grown up in the country and knew what she was about.

When her husband complained of having nothing to do, she laughed at him.

"Find some occupation in the house. No one need ever be idle in a house like this."

He would have liked to suggest some outside occupation, but he had not the courage.

He ate, slept, and went for walks. If he happened to enter the barn or the stables, he was sure to be in the way and be scolded by his wife.

One day, when he had grumbled more than usual, while the children had been running about, neglected by the nurse, she said:

"Why don't you look after the children? That would give you something to do."

He stared at her. Did she really mean it?