Maria-sama ga Miteru Volume 8 Chapter 8

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The magnificent cherry trees at the back of the school building seemed to live solely for the brief two-week period at the beginning of April.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After their flowers had blossomed, the larvae that would become b.u.t.terflies and moths made their presence felt, from the time the new leaves started sprouting right the way through until midsummer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black specks of feces would be scattered like seeds on the ground beneath the branches, and every year there were incidents with clumsy caterpillars losing their grip on the leaves and falling into the hair or onto the uniform of some unfortunate student below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That being said, this area behind the school building was a stopover point connecting the second gymnasium and the church, as well as forming part of the route used by students to get to the back gate. It wasn't shunned by any means. The students simply moved swiftly when pa.s.sing under the trees during that time, paying attention to both what was underfoot and what was overhead. That was the accepted behavior at Lillian's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Autumn arrived once those nuisances had grown wings and flown off, and it brought with it days of sweeping up the ma.s.s of fallen leaves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naturally, the blossoming of the cherry flowers meant it was harvest season, although these cherries weren't harvested. If anything, the ginkgo trees along the main path should be harvested, as that would at least lessen the smell somewhat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But of course that was only a selfish human concern.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cherry trees knew nothing of this as, year after year, they were immersed in the tasks of blossoming flowers, dropping petals, growing new leaves, scattering seeds and shedding dry leaves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In this manner, they'd stood there for decades.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And they would probably continue watching Lillian's long after the current crop of students was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Right. It's no big deal."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I muttered as I looked up at the cherry tree, just like one month ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The flowers were on the verge of blooming fully. And so my onee-sama was no longer by my side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before I knew it, I'd reached the final year of high-school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I removed the rosary that had hung around my neck for the past two years, then wrapped it around my right wrist. Having it hanging around my neck wasn't in any way inconvenient, but now that my onee-sama had graduated I hated the constant reminder of her. Winding it around my arm like a bracelet-subst.i.tute was perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A petal coiled up, like a spring, then dropped off right before my very eyes. I held out my rosary-attached right hand, palm open, and caught it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Was it comforting me, or laughing feebly? Either way, it looked like the cherry tree was trying to tell me something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That's right."

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I was agreeing, the round petal on the palm of my hand was blown away. Soon the small existence that had been on the palm of my hand was carried to the ground, where it quickly blended in with the other fallen petals, making it hard to tell which one it was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right. It really was no big deal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was no doubt that these cherry trees, which had survived the war, had witnessed far more disastrous events. They would know the serious tears and unbearable memories of sorrowful people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though I could be said to have lost a loved one, in my case, she was still alive somewhere out there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's simply a matter of course that for every meeting there is a corresponding parting. The hole that was left in my heart was small enough that I would be able to mend it myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A gust of wind blew past. The branches of the cherry tree shook and the petals fell relentlessly. I looked up at heaven and gently closed my eyes. Like that, I felt as though the incessantly falling petals were painting over me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Countless times I've wanted to be absorbed into things of beauty far beyond the reach of humans, like the sky and the sea, or the trees. I regretted being given the life of a sinful "human" animal, and spontaneously apologized, desiring forgiveness. Running away from life is rightly condemned, and that's all there is to it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What attracted me to Shiori was seeing the divinity inside her. While she was beside me, with that light shining on me, I felt that my life was worth living too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Rosa Gigantea &h.e.l.lip; huh."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since April, the number of students calling me that had risen. I still wasn't used to it. It was, until a month ago, the t.i.tle used to address my onee-sama.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My onee-sama had said, "If you feel a debt of grat.i.tude to me, then pay that forward to someone else." But would I be able to do that kind of thing?

 

 

 

 

 

 

No. It was unthinkable that someone as weak as me would be able to attract a junior to them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I no longer looked down on those innocent students like I once had. Instead, I found myself envying them. Just living was such an ordeal. But they possessed the strength to take everything in their stride and enjoy life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something within me was broken. That much I knew. But, this thing, it had no concrete shape that I could definitively point to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wind had strengthened further, so much so that the petals scattered on the ground also became involved in the creation of this white world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But despite all the petals swirling in the air, the human was a human, the cherry tree a cherry tree, and the boundary between them remained clear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such was the way of all things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shiori and I. Despite both being humans, we could not become one. Plunging down the evolutionary path until we could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tears didn't come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feelings of sorrow had acc.u.mulated until eventually they turned to resignation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wind suddenly stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then in my expanded field of vision I saw someone that wasn't myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah &h.e.l.lip; "

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder which one of us spoke up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Less than two metres separated me from the girl, bathed in flowers, who was looking back at me with the same expression of wonder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Instantly, I remembered Shiori. I didn't mistake this girl for Shiori, I just remembered her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A fair-skinned maiden. Her features weren't showy, but she gave the impression of an antique western doll, thanks to the gentle wave of her light-brown hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Was she a first-year, or a transfer student? At the very least, hers wasn't a face I recognized. But then again, I wasn't the type of person to remember everyone's face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have a weakness for these kind of encounters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're &h.e.l.lip; "

 

 

 

 

 

 

I started to speak, then swallowed my words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deja vu.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was a.s.saulted by a sweet and bitter bout of deja vu.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was like this with Shiori too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shiori had known about me beforehand, but I first became aware of her existence when we met in the deserted chapel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So was the rest going to be like it was with Shiori too? Persistently asking about her, eventually following her around like some kind of stalker, and then - .

 

 

 

 

 

 

It ending in ruin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn't know how to proceed in this situation. I readied myself in case she was about to smile divinely and say, "Gokigenyou," like Shiori.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would I kneel at her feet, or run away?

 

 

 

 

 

 

At any rate, it was obvious I wasn't in a normal state of mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Pardon me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

However, she was the one that fled. She blushed and quickly bowed. Then ran off towards the school building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was saved. I leaned against the trunk of the cherry tree and let out a sigh of relief.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't worry, it's a human girl."

 

 

 

 

 

 

A strange sensation came over me as I muttered this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What had I been thinking?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I knew of her existence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, I knew her name but not her face, that level of awareness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Gigantea, Satou Sei-sama.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the day of the entrance ceremony, I'd heard the gossip from my cla.s.smates that her "exquisite foreign features" and "melancholy expression" made her look "totally s.e.xy."

 

 

 

 

 

 

We would have been in the same school building for a year during middle-school, but I couldn't recall her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The forging of an intimate bond between older and younger students was a tradition reserved solely for the high-school division of Lillian's Girls Academy. Before then, during compulsory education, it fell to the teachers and sisters, as well as fellow cla.s.smates, to provide spiritual and physical guidance. Even so, some precocious middle-school students who adored the soeur system but couldn't wait until they were in high-school would secretly meet with older students to share gossip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gossip such as, Rosa Foetida, Torii Eriko-sama, had silky hair and tied her ribbon beautifully, as well as being a superwoman who could effortlessly do anything. But she never looked triumphant. It took a connoisseur to appreciate her cool expression.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or, Rosa Chinensis, Mizuno Youko, had a mature presence and was always ready to take action, making her the quintessential cla.s.s representative. This was balanced against her flawless beauty, giving her a charm that no-one else could possibly imitate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We sat in alphabetical order at the start of the year, and the girl who sat beside me was well acquainted with the seniors, so the air around me was filled with gossip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shimako-san, which Rose is your type?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first time I was asked this I was taken aback and answered truthfully with, "I don't know."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, they're all wonderful, aren't they?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cla.s.smates chose to interpret my response favorably. That was when I realized that most of the students had arranged themselves into social groups based around which one of the Roses was their favorite. This made someone like me, who didn't really know who the Roses were, a somewhat unusual creature.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All of the various cliques adored their chosen Rose. Treating them like local celebrities, in a manner of speaking. There was a certain distance because the Roses were two grades ahead of us, making their existence more of a rumor. Even the students who had already exchanged soeur vows joined in the commotion. Almost as though it was unthinkable that their onee-samas would get jealous, because they were talking about the Roses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I digress.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eventually the day of the "New Students Welcoming Ceremony" arrived, with me still unaware of some of the finer details, such as Rosa Gigantea not yet having a pet.i.t soeur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The reports from the girl who sat beside me were very accurate. I marveled at how the images I had of Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Foetida matched up with the reality when I saw them among the Yamayurikai executive during the ceremony in the chapel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All except for one. Rosa Gigantea was the sole exception.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or, rather, I didn't have a concrete image of the person Satou Sei-sama. No, that's not right. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that because I had unknowingly met her before I formed an image of her, I imagined that she must look different to that, then got frustrated part way through imagining her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The girl standing there with the calm expression was unmistakeably the same one that I had met beneath the cherry tree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But, why was it, I wonder? The impression of the girl handing out medallions at the welcoming ceremony was different to back then. Despite the fact that she was smiling, she looked pitiful. Although there had definitely been a loneliness in her expression as she'd gazed off at something invisible, while her entire body was baptized by flower petals, there hadn't been this sensation of wanting to reach out to her in pity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shimako-san."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I came back to earth when I was tapped on the shoulder from behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"There's a gap opening up."

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cla.s.smate whispered. I saw that a s.p.a.ce large enough for two people had opened up in front of me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah, sorry."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I quickly closed in on the student ahead of me. It goes without saying that I was a new student, and was lined up to receive a medallion from one of the Roses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What had I been thinking?

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was quite presumptuous of me to consider a senior as "pathetic" or "someone to pity," even if it had only been for a moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Plum cla.s.s finished, and following them was my peach cla.s.s. Standing in front of us was Rosa Chinensis. But my attention was focused on Rosa Gigantea, on the far side, with Rosa Foetida between us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted to know. Even though it was painful to look at her, why couldn't I look away?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The three Roses placed the medallions around the necks of the new students, one by one. Were the students a.s.sisting them their pet.i.t soeurs?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eventually, my turn arrived.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"May the Virgin Mary bless you and watch over you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Chinensis placed the medallion around my neck. It felt as though Rosa Gigantea glanced our way, but that may just have been my imagination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shimazu Yoshino, of the first-year chrysanthemum cla.s.s, came to visit the peach cla.s.s after school one day, about a week after the welcoming ceremony.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yes?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You see, I was wondering if you could come with me. You don't have any committee work or anything today, do you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smiling, Yoshino-san started walking away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'd been in the same cla.s.s as her only once during middle-school. She had a rare heart condition and the only impression I had of her was that she was often absent or had to leave early. But it wasn't just her, I didn't have many memories stuck in my head for any other cla.s.smates either. Since I'd joined Lillian's, it had been especially hard for me to make close friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, since we weren't particularly friendly, I couldn't imagine what business Yoshino-san had with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Where to?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The Rose Mansion."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The Rose - "

 

 

 

 

 

 

I swallowed my words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rose Mansion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was the name given to the building that served as the headquarters for the Lillian's Girls Academy High-school student council, or Yamayurikai. I knew, from the girl who sat next to me, that the Roses usually met there after school. But it was hard to approach, especially for first-years, so I hadn't heard any stories of anyone actually going there to visit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rose Mansion was located in the courtyard between the high-school buildings. Despite its small size, the old, wooden, two-story western-style building had a majestic appearance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Is it alright for us to just walk in like this?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I impulsively asked when Yoshino-san opened the front door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Huh? &h.e.l.lip; Ah."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshino-san reached down the front of her sailor collar, and pulled something out to show me, just for a second.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I've been Hasekura Rei-sama's pet.i.t soeur since the day of the entrance ceremony."

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a pretty, green rosary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hasekura Rei-sama was the second-year student known as Rosa Foetida en bouton, since she was Rosa Foetida's pet.i.t soeur. Yoshino-san apparently had access to the Rose Mansion due to that relationship. I really was stunningly ignorant of this news.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"There's someone waiting here who said she wanted to meet you, Shimako-san."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Is that Rosa Gigantea &h.e.l.lip; ?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I asked. In the month since I'd started high-school, I'd had practically no contact with the student council. There was only one thing that came to mind. My accidental encounter with Satou Sei-sama in the blizzard of cherry blossom petals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshino-san said, as she entered the building, then started up the staircase that came immediately into view.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Rosa Chinensis is one of the people waiting for you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The interior of the building looked as well-worn as the exterior. When I put my foot onto the staircase, the wood creaked as though it were going to break at any moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why did Rosa Chinensis ask to see me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Who knows."

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was obvious that Yoshino-san didn't know either. She walked ahead, looking puzzled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The only reason I went to get you was because I know what you look like."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I see."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gave up, and followed Yoshino-san. Thinking about it, it seemed unlikely that Rosa Gigantea would have asked someone else to fetch me. If she wanted it done, she probably would have done it herself. I had no reason to think that, it just somehow felt right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshino-san had said, "Rosa Chinensis is one of the people waiting." If there were a number of older students who didn't know me but wanted to talk to me, then it made sense for them to send Yoshino-san.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshino-san finished climbing the staircase, then walked over to the large, brown door and knocked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I've brought Toudou Shimako-san."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well done, show her in."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The gentle reply came from inside the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"After you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshino-san prompted me, holding the door open, and I stepped inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm Toudou Shimako."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I introduced myself and bowed. The two students inside rose from their chairs and ushered me in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sorry for having to summon you like this."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We just wanted to have a little chat."

 

 

 

 

 

 

They offered me a chair, pulling it out from the table and practically forcing me to sit down. In a spot that was directly opposite where they had been sitting. It looked as though the topic of this chat wasn't going to be something simple.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I wonder if it's necessary for us to introduce ourselves as well."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No, that's alright."

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were famous enough in the high-school that even someone as tenuously connected to other people as myself knew who they were - Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Foetida.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well then, I'll excuse myself now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

After placing a cup of tea in front of me, Yoshino-san left the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thanks, Yoshino-chan."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Good work today."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The two Roses showered Yoshino-san's back with these words of appreciation, then after she'd disappeared beyond the door, started to chat amongst themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Rei has club activities, doesn't she? Will she be alright going home by herself?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"She told me she'd been feeling good recently. Apparently spring's easier on her."

 

 

 

 

 

 

It seemed as though they were concerned about Yoshino-san's physical condition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah, now that you mention it, she is looking healthier."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Chinensis seemed satisfied with this, but then she suddenly turned to me and said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now then, do you have an onee-sama?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Huh!?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Based on our positions, it was only natural that they would be asking me questions. But even though I knew that, it was such an astounding question that I couldn't avoid reacting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do you have an onee-sama or not? It's a simple question, right?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Foetida was all smiles as she pressed me, as though striking the final blow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I-I don't &h.e.l.lip; but."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Let me check something, just to be sure. We're not talking about a blood-related sister here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Right."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Either way, it was the same. An onee-sama from the soeur system, or an onee-sama born to the same parents. I had neither.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I see."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm relieved to hear you say that."

 

 

 

 

 

 

What on earth were they "relieved" by? Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Foetida grinned as I was left in the lurch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well then, Toudou Shimako-san. Shall we move on to the main event?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I waited, somewhat nervously, for the next question.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This is the reason we asked you here. Actually, it's a request we want to make of you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A request?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though they said it was a request, I felt pressured to stay until I heard everything they were going to say. It felt like I was being let in on a secret, although that a.n.a.logy is somewhat ill-suited to a high-school student.

 

 

 

 

 

 

However.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We were wondering if you would take up a position as a Yamayurikai a.s.sistant."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Huh!?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

After uttering this exclamation, I looked at the two Roses. Rosa Chinensis' "request" was too vague. There wasn't enough explanation to know whether I should accept or refuse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I see. An explanation is necessary."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Chinensis said, as though reading my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"As you know, the Yamayurikai is the student council that's centered around three students, called Roses. But it's easy to see how three people wouldn't be enough to handle all that, right? Therefore, we use our own pet.i.t soeurs as a.s.sistants. You're aware of that?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The boutons."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshino-san's onee-sama, Hasekura Rei-sama, held such a position. And I got the feeling that I'd heard it mentioned that Ogasawara Sachiko-sama was also a bouton.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wonderful."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The conversation's proceeding quickly."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The two Roses looked at each other and smiled, apparently pleased.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Both I and Rosa Foetida have reliable pet.i.t soeurs. But, regrettably, Rosa Gigantea is without a pet.i.t soeur."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"She doesn't have a pet.i.t soeur."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I repeated Rosa Chinensis' words, trying to understand. It sounded like something I may or may not have heard from my cla.s.smates. But, from memory, there had been a rumor about one of the Roses not having a pet.i.t soeur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Right, she doesn't have a pet.i.t soeur. The circ.u.mstances around this aren't directly related to the main topic however, so don't dwell on it too deeply. The main problem is that we are indeed short-handed. I suppose you partic.i.p.ated in the new students' welcoming ceremony, right Shimako-san?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yes."

 

 

 

 

 

 

In truth, Rosa Chinensis had placed the medallion around my neck, but there were so many first-years that it was only natural she wouldn't remember. Becoming intrigued by someone after meeting them for the first time rarely happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Since Rosa Gigantea didn't have anyone to a.s.sist her for that, she reluctantly asked one of her cla.s.smates."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then the Roses raised a number of concerns, like the student may have agreed to help out just for that event. Or Rosa Gigantea might find it hard to rely on her friends as the third-years would be busy preparing for their post-graduation futures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yoshino-chan is also a member of our group now, but she's the pet.i.t soeur of Rosa Foetida en bouton, so she can't be Rosa Gigantea's a.s.sistant."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah, the various Rose families do help each other out as a matter of course. But, well, Yoshino-chan has a weak body, so we don't want to overburden her."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The two-person conversation continued. At any rate, their expectation was probably that if they picked an unenc.u.mbered first-year, she'd be willing to help out with the student council work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I understand what you're saying. But, why me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Congratulations, you were selected from a lottery containing all the eligible first-years."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Foetida said, spreading her arms wide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"&h.e.l.lip; Really?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shimako-san, you really should watch out for sleazy salesmen."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Chinensis looked at me sympathetically.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh? &h.e.l.lip; Then."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Of course that was a lie."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosa Foetida said, poking her tongue out. Right at that moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What are you doing!?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

The brown door was flung open with such noise and force that it seemed unthinkable that it was the same door that Yoshino-san had silently closed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Standing there looking incredibly upset was Rosa Gigantea, Satou Sei-sama.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What are you doing?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I stepped into the room, the atmosphere momentarily turned to ice. But my two friends, Youko and Eriko, rallied and smiled as they shrugged.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What ever could she mean?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know, right?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

But given the situation, their feigned innocence was most definitely not charming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I thought today's meeting was "canceled due to external circ.u.mstances.""

 

 

 

 

 

 

I reached back and closed the door behind me. Not a single angry word until it was in place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their plan must have been to get the nuisance out of the way by politely informing me of this during recess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The meeting is canceled. Eriko and I remained here on personal business."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Like we often do, right? Is there something about it that displeases you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Everything about it displeases me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I threw Eriko's words back at her and walked over to the table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything about it displeases me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That they went behind my back and secretly called a first-year here, and that they were trying to get her to do something. And that the first-year happened to be Toudou Shimako.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"But first there's something I want to ask you two. Why is it that you've invited this guest here?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was attempting to be as calm as possible, but I couldn't stop a bit of my anger from spilling into my words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Guest? Ah, you mean Toudou Shimako-san?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko muttered, being painfully obvious. Even if I'd been fine with the name, the superfluous exposition was enough to get me angry all over again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I thought Toudou Shimako-san might become an a.s.sistant to the Yamayurikai."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"&h.e.l.lip; What?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eriko pulled out the chair next to Shimako, offering it to me, but my agitation was reaching a peak as I remained standing and shouted:

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Aren't you going to stop your d.a.m.n meddling!?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

My voice was louder than I'd expected. I could feel it echoing around the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the reverberations of my voice had completely stopped, Youko said coldly:

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What meddling? This has nothing to do with you, right?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

The calm att.i.tude of my friend, as though in direct contrast to my own, was the most galling thing I had ever seen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Like h.e.l.l it doesn't."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I shouted in irritation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why would you think that, I wonder."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko remained sitting, fingers interlaced, and looked up at me. Eriko wasn't going to interrupt, having watched Youko and I face off countless times before. Unaccustomed to this, and not knowing what to do, Shimako looked uncomfortable as she sat in silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why would you think that?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko asked, once more. It looked as though she was going to persist in playing dumb.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The other day, I had a careless slip of the tongue and spoke the name of a first-year student in front of you. Then you invited that person to the Rose Mansion, keeping it a secret from me. There's no way it's just a coincidence."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A slip of the tongue?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko grinned like the Cheshire cat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Like your slip of the tongue just before?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hearing this, I immediately thought, "d.a.m.n it." But it was too late. A crack opened up in the meager amount of pride that I'd sc.r.a.ped together after losing it all a few months ago. Immediately, I calculated which course of action would cause the least damage. In this instance, to keep the damage to a minimum, I had to pretend to not notice my crumbling pride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Get out."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I ordered Shimako.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Huh?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You. Can't you hear? Get out of this room right now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"But."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shimako looked perplexed as I faced her and shouted, almost in tears, "Please, just get out."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do as she says."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko said, and Eriko led Shimako out of the room. I finally calmed down after the door had closed and I heard the sounds of two people walking down the staircase.

 

 

 

 

 

 

" &h.e.l.lip; Thanks."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I expressed my honest grat.i.tude for Shimako's removal. This way, she wouldn't see my failure. It was odd, but I was resigned to Youko seeing the ugly side of me. Maybe it was because I knew it was pointless trying to put up a facade, ever since she saw me when I'd been torn to shreds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Is she really that important a person to you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't know."

 

 

 

 

 

 

To calm myself down, I washed my face in the sink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hadn't really thought about what Shimako was to me. But what I did know was that I didn't want Youko saying what was in my heart in front of Shimako. Probably because, no matter the topic, the answer Youko pulled out would be right for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You said that I'd made a slip of the tongue."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I turned around and questioned Youko, and she nodded, "Yes."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"By a slip of the tongue, I meant you said something you shouldn't have. Even you must have noticed it. That is, why couldn't you call that first-year by her name? Because you consider her special, different to all the other first-years, right?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I smiled, would you look at that. That Youko could a.n.a.lyze my heart so accurately.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I went back to the sink and turned the tap off, thinking that I should put a stop to the conversation before it got even more unpleasant. But nothing could make my anger subside, so I briskly turned back to Youko.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"In that case, so what?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So what?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko asked as she held out a handkerchief to me. I refused it, and closed in on her, water sheeting off my face and hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Even if I do have special feelings for Toudou Shimako, that's no reason for you to try and drag her into the Yamayurikai."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know, but."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"But nothing."

 

 

 

 

 

 

On impulse, I raised my right hand up in the air. If I brought it down, it would score a direct hit on Youko's cheek.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She had adequate time to get out of the way. But Youko wouldn't avoid it. Nor would I strike her. The palm of my hand came to a stop right next to her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We stood there looking right at each other for a short while. I was the one who finished it by looking away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't do this sort of thing without telling me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Left hand tightly grasping my right, I turned away. Then Youko's hand gently touched my shoulder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sei."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko's hand was warm. But I was a weak, half-hearted individual who could neither find solace in her touch nor shake off her hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You know, even now I still have my regrets."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko said, maintaining the same position.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"About what happened with you and Shiori-san."

 

 

 

 

 

 

My body reacted when it heard the name Shiori. I jumped forward, flicking off Youko's hand, then turning around and coming to a stop with my back against the table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't talk about Shiori."

 

 

 

 

 

 

It would probably be better if I could forget, but I didn't want to. She was someone I couldn't forget. To me, Kubo Shiori was Christ.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No. In this situation, I want you to hear. I was hurt by it, although obviously nowhere near as much as you. You call it meddling, but I think it would have been better if I'd meddled even more. Even now, I think that if I had, then maybe you and Shiori-san could have been happy as soeurs."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A pet.i.t soeur."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I snorted. What a joke. Youko had said the exact same thing a year before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Soeurs come in all different shapes. No matter how your relationship with Shiori would have ended, at least you could have had two years worth of happy memories at high-school. That's why."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That's why, what?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smiling, I looked into Youko's eyes. I was certain I was looking my most malicious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You thought you'd give me Toudou Shimako, to play the make-believe game of sisters that I couldn't with Shiori?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're wrong."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko said, scowling at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know you don't plan on taking a pet.i.t soeur. And that's fine, I think. I don't know and I don't care who they make Rosa Gigantea after you. You're more important than that. I just have this compulsion towards things you see as a burden."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I won't do it. Leave Toudou Shimako out of it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, you're right. But."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"But?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I asked. I'd regained a bit of my composure during our conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Honestly, I was surprised."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko said quietly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"By what?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Back when you let Toudou Shimako's name slip, you had the same expression as when you first mentioned Kubo Shiori. I wasn't even thinking about her as a replacement. Just that you wanted to get involved with other people once more."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Involved, huh."

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the exception of Shiori, I've never wanted anyone. While I'm grateful for my graduated onee-sama, I never wanted to be her pet.i.t soeur. And I already have Youko, Eriko, and their pet.i.t soeurs around me. Surely there's no need for any more relationships beyond those.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youko looked down, and continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"In truth, I was shocked when I saw Shimako-san."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"&h.e.l.lip; She's nothing like Shiori."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I refuted the allegation ahead of time. It was upsetting to think of Shiori's features overlapping Shimako's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Obviously. I could tell you weren't seeing the shadow of Shiori-san inside Shimako-san."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not only had Youko guessed my feelings, she'd also put them into words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Then, what?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That girl. She's like you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Like me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't believe my ears. What on earth did Shimako and I have in common? But if that was what Youko thought, then maybe it was true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shimako and I had met in the cherry blossom blizzard beneath the Yoshino cherry trees. At that time, looking at her had felt like I was seeing myself in a mirror.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What had she been doing back then? And why had I gone to that spot?

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I won't tell you in what way. Because if I did, this time you really might hit me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

As she said this, Youko started preparing to go home. Did that mean that the conversation was over? Or had she simply decided that the conversation would take a turn for the worse if it continued? She methodically cleaned the cups we'd used and wiped the table clean. Indeed, now that we'd both said what we wanted to say, I needed some time alone to think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The parts that are similar, they're my weaknesses, right?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Had I asked this because I wanted to detain her? Youko was carrying Eriko's bag as well as her own belongings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah."

 

 

 

 

 

 

In front of the brown door, Youko answered, turning back to look at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"But I like your weaknesses too."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I hate your strong points, you know."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smiling m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tically, Youko opened the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Even I don't like them."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Um, is it alright to leave them alone?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I asked Rosa Foetida, who had exited the room alongside me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's fine, don't worry. Trying to mediate would just make everything more complicated. Without an audience, they won't have to hold back, so they'll come to a resolution sooner."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah&h.e.l.lip;"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even so, I still felt somewhat responsible since it looked like I was the cause of it. Rosa Gigantea blamed Rosa Chinensis for me being in the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's Shimako-san &h.e.l.lip; right? I'll bet that surprised you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yes &h.e.l.lip; ah, no."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hurriedly shook my head. But it looked like Rosa Foetida's expression didn't seem to be related to my response.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After leaving the Rose Mansio