A Straight Guy's Nightmare Chapter 1

Here’s some BL(?) s.m.u.t, I probably won’t post ch2 and above to novelupdates to prevent bots from stealing, so please don’t if I don’t.

If you think an editor is required, just comment below ill go look for one

Release schedule every Monday

Chapter 1, I woke up with a p.u.s.s.y! (Slight NSFW in extra)

“Oh my G.o.d! It’s so hot!” Xia Chuan unlocked the door with his keys and kicked open the door. While taking off the jersey on his top, he walked over to the air conditioner to cool himself down.

“You went to play basketball again?” Jiang Xuehang who was sitting at the desk pushed up his gla.s.ses and stared at the two who just came in.

Su Ming, who was also wearing a jersey, pulled the key out of the doork.n.o.b and placed it on Xia Chuan’s desk. “Better not lose it again.”

“Thank you Brother Mingming~” While enjoying the cool breeze, Xia Chuan narrowed his eyes and shot a smirk to Su Ming. When he finally started to cool down, he went over to hara.s.s Jiang Xuehang instead. “The top student isn’t studying in the library today?”

Xia Chuan was half-naked and his face was covered in sweat, but he rubbed himself stickily on Jiang Xuehang’s body. But Jiang Xuehang didn’t get angry at him, and even explained with a good temper, “Nothing much was going on today, so I was just doing some casual reading in the room.”

“Reading? You were reading ‘Grimm’s Fairy Tales’ last time, right?” Xia Chuan grabbed the book from Jiang Xuehang’s hands. “‘Giovanni’s Room’? Never heard of it!” He flipped through a few pages but couldn’t find anything interesting from it. Instead, he managed to glimpse from the corner of his eyes that Su Ming was just about to grab a change of clothes. He quickly threw the book aside, grabbed his shampoo and shower gel, and rushed into the bathroom. “Me first!”

Xia Chuan turned the water up to the max and hummed a tune while he scrubbed himself clean. After drying himself off with a towel, he was just about to head out with his d.i.c.k hanging out. But right when he was about to pull the bolt on the door, that “thing” that happened not long ago suddenly came to mind. With that sudden thought, he squatted down to dispel the gooseb.u.mps that had risen up all over his body.

In the end, the door was opened to a tiny slit. Xia Chuan was hiding behind it racking his brains out.

Very good, the target Su Ming is playing games with his headphones on, and he’s not looking this way at all.

Xia Chuan lowered his voice and called out to the closest Jiang Xuehang who was closest and asked him to bring a clean T-shirt and a pair of shorts over.

“Don’t you usually just come out without clothes on?” Jiang Xuehang eyed Xia Chuan who was hiding behind the door suspiciously.

“People get shy at times too~” Xie Chuan pretended to be bashful as he took the clothes. He quickly put his clothes on and strode out of the bathroom.

He quickly reached the lights, and the room was left in a state of darkness. Xia Chuan leaned on his pillow and used his laptop to browse through the hot posts on Hupu[1].

“If Gao ○○ and Zhen Jingwen both confessed to you at the same time, who would you choose? Heheheh, it’s so hard to choose! Can I just have both?!”

“What do I do if my GF likes BL? s.h.i.t! What’re girls reading all that stuff for? They should get married and have kids while they’re still young.”

“How would you guys rate my sister? Let me see…She looks pretty good. Old rules, 10 if she’s up to f.u.c.k, 0 if she’s not, hahaha.”

They were clearly just copy-pastas of the same stuff over and over again, but Xia Chuan was still amused.

“Actress D hot s.e.xy dance image set! This is good, this is good!” Xia Chuan quickly opened up the post to admire. But before he could finish, he started to get a reaction down there.

Ever since “that” happened, he felt grossed out every time he touched little junior. It’s been so long since he had a jerk, but today…

He stretched his neck out of the curtain and looked around: Good boy Jiang Xuehang had already put down his book and was getting ready to sleep, Xu Ming was still working on something below, while the other bed was empty as usual. If he tried to do that secretly right now, he definitely wouldn’t be found out.

Pleased, Xia Chuan pulled his bed curtains shut before putting on his headphones, skillfully opening the second new folder on his E-drive and browsed through his collection. He downloaded a lot of good videos last time, and there were many he hadn’t seen yet!

After choosing one, Xia Chuan quickly fast-forwarded the video and came straight to the scene of a hotel room. He saw two men enter the room and sitting down on the bed.

A threesome? How exciting! Xia Chuan nearly made a sound out of pleasure, and his right hand had already been stuffed inside of his underwear.

But just as he managed to stroke little junior into a semi-hard state, the scene on his screen began developing in an unexpected direction.

No big-breasted beauty with long legs entered the room. Instead, the two men began helping each other out.

Wh-wh-wh-wh-what is this?! Disgusting! Xia Chuan thought that this was just a different type of foreplay, so he fast-forwarded even more in displeasure, hoping to get to the part where the actress showed up soon.

He never expected that the scene of a man sticking it into another man would fill his eyes.

Xia Chuan stared dazedly at the screen with his eyes wide. At the same time, the sound of moaning was transmitted through his headphones in the form of 3d stereo surround sound. Even though that voice was erotic and flirty, that hoa.r.s.e voice quality clearly belonged to a man!

Xia Chuan instantly went soft.

Xia Chuan had also turned off the video as quickly as the strike of thunder.

But how deep is the psychological trauma left on Xia Chuan’s heart, you ask?

He tossed and turned in bed and he was so grossed out that he couldn’t sleep no matter what. After thinking it over and over again, Xia Chuan decided to fight back—by writing a post to insult h.o.m.os.e.xuals and fujoshis.

He squeezed out every last drop of his brain juices and pulled out every fancy word he learned in his entire life to type out five to six-thousand words. With “Disgusting h.o.m.os.e.xuals Spreading AIDS, Perverted Fujoshis are Cancer of Society!” as the t.i.tle, he uploaded this emotionally charged post to Tianya Club[2].

Xia Chuan felt like he finally managed to vent a little.

Then, he quickly logged out of his Tianya account and decided not to log into this ID ever again. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know how much heat he’d get from discriminating h.o.m.os.e.xuals and mocking fujoshis.

But even so, he was still an unwavering h.o.m.ophobe!

“But h.o.m.ophobes are just closet gays, you know?” A familiar voice appeared in his ears, which gave Xia Chuan a fright. These were the words his little sister, Xia Xi, would often use to brainwash him.

He turned around to look, but it wasn’t Xia Xi.

But to say that it wasn’t…wasn’t completely right either.

The person in front of him had Xia Xi’s face, but her appearance revealed the compa.s.sion of a Greek G.o.ddess. She had dazzling blonde hair that reached the ground and was even wearing a laurel wreath at her crown. Behind her was a huge pair of white wings that danced up and down, bringing with them a light breeze that made her ivory-white dress flutter. A warm saintly light shone on the ground and it made Xia Chuan feel a little dizzy.

“Stage II advanced straight male cancer. The cancer cells have already entered your bloodstream and spread throughout all the organs in your body, inducing symptoms such as misogynism and severe narcissism. At the same time, you are suffering from h.o.m.ophobia, and you are clearly also hostile towards fujoshis. Tell me, how should I treat you?” The G.o.ddess resembling Xia Xi asked Xia Chuan tenderly.

“Treat? Treat what? I don’t want it!” Xia Chuan turned around and wanted to flee, but his whole body was frozen, and he couldn’t move.

The G.o.ddess Xia Xi gently pointed at him, and a beam of light came out of her fingertips, seeping into Xia Chuan’s lower body.

Specifically, it was his perineum.

A tingling spread out from his perineum like a thousand ants were biting the skin there all at the same time, and it felt so unbearable that it made his heart churn. Xia Chuan instantly burst out into cold sweat. He wanted to scratch it, but he couldn’t move his hand; he wanted to beg for mercy, but he couldn’t open his mouth.

“Do you want me to cut off that thing at the front too?” The G.o.ddess Xia Xi wondered.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” A man who was also wearing a laurel wreath and white robes suddenly fluttered to the ground. His face looked just like Su Ming.

He smiled to Xia Chuan. “It’s enough that he remembers that ‘h.o.m.ophobes are just closet gays’.”

As soon as he heard him say that, Xia Chuan felt that he could finally move. He immediately reached out to touch his perineum, but found out that there was a soft organ there that did not belong to a man!

“Ah—!”

A scream of terror broke out through the room, and Xia Chuan had also awoken at the same time.

“So it was a dream.” Xia Chuan’s heart was heaving up and down violently and his forehead was covered in cold sweat. He looked at the ceiling of the dormitory and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Su Ming’s gentle voice came over from the other bed.

Hearing this, Xia Chaun nearly thought he was still in his dream and quickly tried to shut him up. “I’m fine, I’m fine! You can go back to sleep!”

Jiang Xuehang on the opposite side had also sat up groggily. “Are you really okay?”

“I’m fine! I just needed to use the toilet hahaha…” Still lost in shock, Xia Chuan got off his bed and went to the toilet.

After flushing the toilet, Xia Chuan smoothly reached down to pull his pants up.

But—

Even though he knew he was worrying over nothing—

He still couldn’t have a peace of mind—

Xia Chuan peeled away his underwear and reached towards his perineum.

“Bang!” The sound of something falling came from the bathroom.

Xia Chuan was splayed out on the tiles and kept touching around the organ that had grown out of thin air in disbelief.

Having been stimulated, the soft and sensitive organ constricted a few times and even leaked out a few drops of juices. Xia Chuan also could not help but clamp his legs together.

How could this happen—he didn’t even have the strength to yell anymore, and could only stare at the ground in a daze.

Was this not a dream?

Impossible…

Knocking sounds came from outside of the bathroom door, then Su Ming’s worried voice could be heard. “Xia Chuan, what’s wrong? Are you unwell? Do you need me to come in?”

“No need! No need at all! I’ll be out in a bit!” Xia Chuan nervously responded to Su Ming outside the door, but he couldn’t stop his brain from recalling an ancient post on Baidu[3]:

What if you turned into a girl one day?

—First, show your brothers a good time!

De! Fi! Nite! Ly! Not!!!! Xia Chuan pulled up his pants with gritted teeth and swore to defend his virginity to the death.

Extra:

Midsummer, City C, the boiling heat of summer was suffocating.

Even though playing basketball in summer was fun, you’d still inevitably be drained by the heat. His jersey was soaked in sweat, and his hair was also drenched from the heat. After returning to the empty dorm room with Su Ming. Xia Chuan quickly went into the bathroom first. He picked up the showerhead and quickly washed up.

“I smell all nice now~” Without any clothes on, Xia Chuan strode proudly out of the bathroom. This wasn’t the first time he had done this either since the dorm was filled with guys anyway. Even the dormitory room opposite of them was filled with men, there was nothing to be embarra.s.sed about.

“Do you? Let me check.” Su Ming came over and sniffed Xia Chuan around his clavicle was his fluffy head was rubbing against Xia Chuan’s body.

“It tickles!! Hahahaha!” Xia Chuan was extremely ticklish, and he was laughing loudly as he pushed Su Ming away.

Su Ming let him go obediently, but taking advantage of the situation, he caught little Xia Chuan jr. with his right hand.

“Oh!” Xia Chuan couldn’t help exclaiming in surprise, having his most sensitive part held by someone else. He didn’t know whether it was because it had been a long time since he jerked off, but little Xia Chuan jr. got hard very quickly.

Su Ming slowly clasped his fingers and wrapped them around that meat rod before slowly moving up and down.

“Ah—What are you doing!” Xia Chuan retreated backward uneasily.

But Su Ming followed him tightly, and in the end, Xia Chuan’s back reached the wall. Su Ming’s left hand reached past his head and pressed it against the wall with a force that was hard to escape from while his right hand continued its earlier movements, and even began playing with the crown of the rod. When he opened his mouth to speak, Xia Chuan could feel his warm breath at his ear. “I’m helping you jerk off. You’ve done this with your friends in the past, right?”

Xia Chuan wanted to say no. At most, he had only watched p.o.r.n with his cla.s.smates, but Su Ming’s deft fingers made him unable to speak.

Appreciating the view of the other’s flushed face and half-lidded eyes in satisfaction, Su Ming bent his index finger and sc.r.a.ped over the urethra slowly with his nail.

“Oh—” Xia Chuan had never experienced such superb techniques, so the overly intense stimulation caused him to arch his back.

At just the right moments, Su Ming moved his hands between the sack, the shaft, and the head. Finally, when he dug his finger between the opening of his urethra, he successfully made Xia Chuan surrender and he shot his s.e.m.e.n over his hand.

“s.h.i.t,” Xia Chuan gasped for breath. G.o.d knows he was nearly about to suffocate earlier.” Aren’t you too good at this? You can’t have been single for 20 years, have you?”

Su Ming did not speak. He looked down at the white turbid liquid ob his hand. After a while, he walked straight into the bathroom like nothing happened.

Xia Chuan was still standing in place. Thinking back to Su Ming’s gaze from earlier, he couldn’t help but shudder.

Do friends…really help each other out that way?

No, right?

Could it be…that guy was gay?!

Xia Chuan was shocked by his own thoughts and turned to look at the bathroom door which was emitting the sounds of running water.

How could Su Ming be a d.a.m.n gay!

Oh right! If he was gay, then he’d definitely touch all over!

He didn’t touch him at all earlier, right?!

Yeah! The heat was just getting to him, that’s all!

Xia Chuan crossed his arms and nodded in satisfaction at his conclusion, completely forgetting that he still hadn’t dressed himself.

Notes:

[1]Hupu is a Chinese-language (mostly)sports-based site/forum.

[2]Another Chinese forum, more info at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tianya_Club

[3]Surprise, it’s another Chinese forum, and also the Chinese equivalent of Google.