Love's Comedy Part 18

We'll make a great ado!

MISS JAY.

Thank G.o.d, they're coming.

[To ANNA, who comes from the garden-room with STRAWMAN, his wife and children, STIVER, GULDSTAD, MRS. HALM and the other guests.

MISS JAY.

Do you know what Lind Has secretly determined in his mind?

To go as missionary--

ANNA.

Yes, I know.

MRS. HALM.

And you've agreed--!

ANNA [embarra.s.sed].

That I will also go.

MISS JAY [indignant].

He's talked this stuff to you!

LADIES [clasping their hands together].

What tyranny!

FALK.

But think, his Call that would not be denied--!

MISS JAY.

Tut, that's what people follow when they're free: A bridegroom follows nothing but his bride.-- No, my sweet Anna, ponder, I entreat: You, reared in comfort from your earliest breath--?

FALK.

Yet, sure, to suffer for the faith is sweet!

MISS JAY.

Is one to suffer for one's bridegroom's faith?

That is a rather novel point of view.

[To the ladies.

Ladies, attend!

[Takes ANNA's arm.

Now listen; then repeat For his instruction what he has to do.

[They go into the background and out to the right in eager talk with several of the ladies; the other guests disperse in Groups about the garden.

FALK stops STRAWMAN, whose wife and children keep close to him. GULDSTAD goes to and fro during the following conversation.

FALK.

Come, pastor, help young fervour in its fight, Before they lure Miss Anna from her vows.

STRAWMAN [in clerical cadence].

The wife must be submissive to the spouse;-- [Reflecting.

But if I apprehended him aright, His Call's a problematical affair, The offering altogether in the air--

FALK.

Pray do not judge so rashly. I can give You absolute a.s.surance, as I live, His Call is definite and incontestable--

STRAWMAN [seeing it in a new light].

Ah--if there's something fixed--investable-- Per annum--then I've nothing more to say.

FALK [impatiently].

You think the most of what I count the least; I mean the inspiration,--to the pay!

STRAWMAN [with an unctuous smile].

Pay is the first condition of a priest In Asia, Africa, America, Or where you will. Ah yes, if he were free, My dear young friend, I willingly agree, The thing might pa.s.s; but, being pledged and bound, He'll scarcely find the venture very sound.

Reflect, he's young and vigorous, sure to found A little family in time; a.s.sume his will To be the very best on earth--but still The means, my friend--? 'Build not upon the sand,'

Says Scripture. If, upon the other hand, The Offering--

FALK.

That's no trifle, I'm aware.

STRAWMAN.

Ah, come--that wholly alters the affair.

When men are zealous in their Offering, And liberal--

FALK.

There he far surpa.s.ses most.

STRAWMAN.

"He" say you? How? In virtue of his post The Offering is not what he has to bring But what he has to get.

MRS. STRAWMAN [looking towards the background].

They're sitting there.

FALK [after staring a moment in amazement suddenly understands and bursts out laughing.].

Hurrah for Offerings--the ones that caper And strut--on Holy-days--in bulging paper!

STRAWMAN.

All the year round the curb and bit we bear, But Whitsuntide and Christmas make things square.

FALK [gaily].

Why then, provided only there's enough of it, Even family-founders will obey their Calls.

STRAWMAN.

Of course; a man a.s.sured the _quantum suff_ of it Will preach the Gospel to the cannibals.

[Sotto voce.

Now I must see if she cannot be led, [To one of the little girls.

My little Mattie, fetch me out my head-- My pipe-head I should say, my little dear-- [Feels in his coat-tail pocket.

Nay, wait a moment tho': I have it here.

[Goes across and fills his pipe, followed by his wife and children.