Love In The Fast Lane Part 14

"Your son."

The awkward silence was tangible. "How do you know about that?"

"Luca told me. And before you get mad and hop over to beat on him, understand that he told me in confidence because he thought you could use an older man's support. And old I am."

"I don't need the support Mike. I'm fine. I'm not a f.u.c.king woman."

"Son, you were there when I was diagnosed with cancer all those years ago. You were there when I went through the chemo and lost my hair. h.e.l.l you were there when I puked myself time and again because of the drugs. It was a hard time for any man and you never abandoned me through that time, even up to my remission. Let me be a part of this for you, too."

Nate was silent for a long moment before he addressed the older man. "I'm scared, Mike." He said it barely above a whisper. "He's shifted my whole plan. My whole focus. I almost feel like... I don't care about driving. Driving has been all I had for so long. I can't even imagine life without it."

"So, what now?"

"I don't know. How am I going to be any good to him? You should have seen his face today when he learned I was his father. He looked anxious and I feel like he's waiting for me to f.u.c.k up his life. Look how my father f.u.c.ked me up."

"Nate, you had a s.h.i.tty childhood and what your father did is not a reflection on the man you have grown into. You have the chance to get to know your son. Be the father that you never had."

"What if I f.u.c.k up?"

"You will. You're human. We all do. You're a big boy, you mess up then you fix it. Stop using this as an excuse not to get to know the only blood ties you have."

Nate felt like he'd been slapped. He'd been slapped with the truth and that harsh realism was enough to shock him back into the present. Michael was right. He needed to try with Noah. He didn't want his child to grow up feeling the anger and resentment that he'd lived with. No, Noah deserved far better and he was going to do all in his power to make sure that he was the father that Noah needed.

CHAPTER 11.

A WEEK LATER BRIELLE WAS at home, frantically calling around trying to find a babysitter. She needed to host another open house and Martha was going to be there and she just could not take Noah with her. The usual babysitter was studying for her SATs and couldn't spare the time. Brielle completely understood but it put a great strain on her life right now.

She stood beside the phone, staring at the ceiling trying to think of who else she could call. Emma, surprisingly, was on a date and was unavailable. She had offered to cancel and take care of Noah but as desperate as Brielle was, she wasn't selfish. Emma had sacrificed her social life so much just so that she could help with Noah and the least Brielle could do was let her have some romance, she sure as h.e.l.l needed it.

"Mom," Noah stood before her, a wary expression on his small face; his jade eyes wide.

"Yes, Lovebug?"

"My cla.s.s project is due next week."

Brielle started to panic. "What cla.s.s project? Why didn't you tell me?" She now had to think about how she was going to get home in time to help him with this project. Great. This day was just getting better by the second.

"The one about careers, Mom. I told you about it two weeks ago."

s.h.i.t. She did vaguely remember a conversation like that. Her energy levels practically drained at the realization. She needed a body-double.

The doorbell rang and she slumped at the kitchen counter as Noah went to answer the door. She needed a break. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had an outing other than to the dentist or the pediatrician and that certainly didn't count as the outing she needed. She was annoyed that Noah hadn't reminded her about the project, too; how was she going to fit all of this into her weekend. But she had to take some blame, she should have checked up. There'd just been so much going on lately that she hadn't been on top of things. And so much was riding on her selling this house and raking in the commission that it was starting to stress her out.

Suddenly, she realized that Noah hadn't returned.

"Who was at the door, Sweetheart?"

In the next instant, Noah walked into the kitchen followed by Nate. He walked with a limp and his arm was in a fancy figure-eight sling but he looked s.e.xy as sin in his jeans and b.u.t.ton down shirt. Her nipples start to peak which just reminded her further of how long it had been since her lady parts had had any fun. And Nate was exactly the man that could show her lady parts a good time. He'd buffed up a little since the last time she had seen his naked body but from his softly flicked hair to his tight thighs to his sneakered feet, the man was undeniably gorgeous and despite their rocky past, both recent and past, he still had the ability to make her moist just by fixing his jade gaze on her. Just what she needed on top of the already stressful evening.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey. You're looking better," she replied, trying to sound normal. "You feeling ok?"

"Better."

"How did you get here? Surely you still can't drive." Gesturing toward his wrapped arm and shoulder, she winced as she realized how her own words sounded. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Don't worry about it," he brushed it off. "Luca dropped me."

"Oh ok, that's good then. Look I don't mean to be rude but it's kind of a bad time right now. I need to show a house and I can't get Noah a sitter at such short notice and I don't have much time before I have to get going."

"I'll watch him."

Brielle just stared at Nate. Was he joking? Had he ever even been around children in his life? "That's a great offer but I don't think-"

"I think it's a great idea, Mom," Noah encouraged. "I will be ok. We can just watch SpongeBob or something."

"Have you ever taken care of a child before?" she directed at Nate.

Nate addressed Noah. "Noah, can you give your mom and me a moment to talk?"

He shrugged his little shoulders and left the room. A minute later they heard the TV tune to Nickelodeon and none other than SpongeBob himself.

"I understand your trepidation," he started. "But Noah is my child and I want to get to know him. You're right, I haven't been around children and I probably am clueless but I have to start somewhere. Noah is a smart kid and he will tell me if he needs something."

"What if something goes wrong or he gets sick or he gets sad or nervous or anxious or-"

"Then I will call you," he interrupted. "I know you don't know me and you don't owe me anything but I'm asking you to have some faith in me. For Noah's sake."

Brielle felt cornered. He had her there. He was Noah's father and he did have a right to get to know his son. And she could really use the help right now. She was bordering on late already and she really wanted to show Martha that she was on top of this sale.

"Ok," she agreed.

"Ok?" he repeated incredulously as a smile reached his lips. "Great."

"Will you manage? I mean with your being hurt."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about us. Just go and we will see you a later."

With that he turned and left to join Noah and SpongeBob in the other room.

An hour later, Nate was wondering what the h.e.l.l he had gotten himself into. From the minute Brielle left, Noah had emotionally retreated and become quiet and subdued. Nate was out of his element. He'd never spent time around children before, never mind a five-year-old. They'd been flipping channels for the last twenty minutes and it was driving him nuts. He had to do something.

"Are you in school, Noah?"

"Of course I am, I'm five." He stated as though Nate were the village idiot for even asking.

Nate felt stupid but really, how was he supposed to know that five-year-olds were part of the scholastic system. "Ok." He wracked his brain for something to break the awkwardness. "Does anything fun happen at school?"

Noah shrugged indifferently. "Last week we let out the cla.s.s gerbil and all the girls went screaming out of the room." He grinned mischievously. That was his boy.

Nate returned the child's grin and then realized that he probably should not be condoning that type of behavior. "Does your mom know?"

Instantly his expression sobered and he shook his head no. "Please don't tell her."

"I won't," Nate promised. "But you keep your nose clean ok? No nonsense that will get you in trouble."

"Mom's upset with me already."

"Why's that?"

"I have a project due next week and forgot to do it." He at least had the decency to look guilty.

"Well, maybe I can help. What's it about."

"We have to show and tell a career."

"Ok, what did you have in mind?"

Noah shrugged.

"Well, what would you like to be when you grow up?"

"Um, I don't know. A pilot maybe?"

"Ok, so why don't you show and tell that?"

He looked shy for a minute and turned away before quietly asking, "Can we do a racer?"

"A racer?"

"Like what you do."

"You want to show and tell what I do?"

The small child nodded. "It's ok if you don't want to. We can do something else."

Nate's chest swelled with pride. Despite his absence during Noah's early years, he still wanted to show and tell something about his father. "No, I'd love to help you with this a.s.signment."

Noah's face broke into a huge grin. "Oh boy! Really?"

"Yes, but you're going to have to do most of the work because I only have one arm." He gestured toward his sling. The pain was starting to kick in now that the pain meds were wearing off but he didn't want to be dosed up around his child. He needed to be alert and in a lucid state of mind should anything happen. He needed to prove to Brielle, and himself, that he could be a parent to Noah. "Do you have a car track set?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Great, go get it."

They spent the next hour putting together the track set to simulate the Formula One race track. They had written out labels for the pit stops and pit wall and had little figures around the track indicating the race marshals and a plain car as the safety vehicle. He carefully explained the race to Noah and had him repeat it back to him so that he could present it in cla.s.s.

"Great job, Noah."

Noah again grinned with his whole face, his bright eyes sparkling emerald green.

"You look just like I did as a child, did you know that."

Noah shook his head no.

"Well you do. I bet we could have pa.s.sed as twins in our baby photos."

"Really? Let's see!" Noah jumped up and went into the next room. When he returned he had a thick alb.u.m in his small arms.

"What's this?"

"My baby pictures," he stated proudly.

Noah sat close to Nate and they shared the alb.u.m between them. He flipped it open and the first picture was of a young Brielle. The face was the same girl he remembered from Brazil but her belly was huge. She looked pale and tired but still managed a smile for the photographer. Nate found himself wondering who the photographer was and was surprised to be annoyed at the thought that it may be another man.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and flipped the page-pictures of the day Noah was born. Brielle was lying in a hospital bed, still in the surgical gown, with a gooey, just born Noah in her arms. She looked exhausted but the tears flowing down her cheeks were of sheer joy as she stared down at her child. The photo aptly captured the moment she became a Mother.

"That's me," Noah stated. "Two minutes after coming out." He grinned again. "Mom said she was in labor for sixteen hours before I came out. I heard her tell Aunt Emma once that the drugs wore off before I came out. I don't know what that means though."

Ouch. Nate did know what that meant and he could only imagine what that must have been like for Brielle. He flipped through more photos and in each one he saw the same pattern. Brielle would look tired and sometimes forlorn as she looked into the camera, her smile not quite reaching her eyes but whenever her gaze was on Noah, the fatigue and all other emotions were replaced with complete and total love and devotion. The feeling was so evident in her expression. It made Nate feel both admiration and sadness for Brielle. She had faced so much on her own and had done such an amazing job in raising their son.

He looked around the house and he could clearly see that she had provided a solid, stable home for Noah. It didn't have the lavish finishing's that his penthouse did but she obviously sacrificed a lot to give him the best she could.

He flipped through more baby photos and as he turned more pages, he went through Noah's lifetime. He took in cherished moments that he had missed. His first tooth, his first step, his first birthday.

"Noah?" he began tentatively. The child looked up at Nate. "You must know that I didn't know about you until very recently."

Noah's expression became sad. "Did you want to be my dad?"

"I was scared at first," he said honestly. "But I've never not wanted to know you. Nothing would stop me from being your father now that I do know about you."

Noah's eyes held a certain sparkle at Nate's words. "Mom always said that my dad was saving the world, like superman. I just always wanted you to come home and be with us. If my dad was superman then why couldn't he drop in to see me?"

"I'm not superman, son, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I'm sorry I have missed so much and I will try and make it up to you as best I can, if you let me."

Noah nodded vigorously. "Promise?"

"I promise," he said as he put his good arm around Noah, for the first time starting to feel like he could actually do this. He could be a good father.

He flipped the last page of the alb.u.m and holy smokes, nearly choked on his own air. There were a bunch of loose photos tucked into the back of the alb.u.m, as if someone was in a hurry to hide them, but they were knockout photos. Most were of Brielle when she must have been nearly full-term but they were professionally taken in brilliant shots. In one she had a sheer sheath of dark fabric covering her enormous belly and a swath of opaque black covered her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. It was tasteful and she positively glowed beauty and radiance. In another she was floating in a dark pool of water, only her face and belly sticking out. The photographer had played up the blue of her eyes and her face was stark against the mostly dark background. There were at least a dozen similar exotic looking photographs and Nate couldn't help but wonder why Brielle hadn't preserved these like she had all of Noah's photos.