Love Dependency Disease Volume 3 Chapter 64

Volume 3, Chapter 64: Xiao Yu, Please forgive me

TL: flarewk

On the streets, familiar cries of hawkers rang out; when I was young I often brought meimei to buy ingredients here, and I often acted like a smart alec, bargaining with the hawkers non-stop, attempting to flaunt my prowess in front of meimei... it's a rather absurd memory to be honest.

"Friend, come here and take a look here, eggplants 1.50 apiece, tomatoes 1.20 apiece, fresh for sale!"

A roadside hawker greeted me who was just walking past, and I looked at the vegetables he's hawking, it looked rather fresh indeed.

"I'll come back in a while to buy, leave some for me later."

"Naturally!"

A plain honest smile appeared on the hawker's face, hopefully he won't beat the c.r.a.p out of me later when I start bargaining with him.....

I walked into a park thereafter; when I was young Xiao Yu loved that I would bring her here to play, and it's possible that she might be in here, as for being at school......since she had already left such a message, do you really believe that she would be at school?

"Xiao Yu! Are you here?"

I looked around the park, and if she's not here, then there's only that place left.

Because my house's area is near to a few tourist attraction spots, hence the greenery was done rather well; I proceeded towards the direction of a fitness jogging track area and walked for quite a mile. By this time, it's already dusk, and the surroundings had people often jogging past, physically training themselves, while the outer left side of the track area stood a forest, with the right side displaying a scenic artificial lake; it's extremely beautiful here, when it's dusk.

At a bend right in front, stood a large banyan tree, a portion of the banyan tree was hollowed, and everytime meimei was pouting I would be able to locate her in that tree hole thereafter.

I approached the banyan tree, this tree was still the same from my childhood memories, there's no big changes towards it at all.... if only me and Xiao Yu's relationship would be as st.u.r.dy as this banyan tree..

Circling to the back of the banyan tree, there's indeed a glimpse of a small head poking from behind the tree.

"Xiao Yu, why are you over here, Lao bà asked you to go back tonight to eat dinner."

Gently patting her shoulders, I used my finger to flick her forehead, as I absolutely loved to tease her like that when we were young.

"Don't flick! It's not when we were young too!"

Xiao Yu suddenly opened her mouth, and the first thing she did was to bite my finger.

"Xiao Yu.....eyy......sorry, go ahead and continue biting......"

I initially wanted to yelp out a shout of pain reflexively, but when I remembered about the agony that I've caused her these two years, I began to feel afraid that this minor pain right now was excruciatingly incomparable to what she had been through all the while.

"Stupid gege!"

The biting strength suddenly increased, and the pain onto my finger was akin to it being drilled, I could clearly feel my ring finger's skin had already bitten through by her; and as blood dripped form my finger into her mouth, I endured this wave of pain, as my other hand gently combed onto Xiao Yu's hair, the expression she had right now really made people clearly feel that she was really miserable.

"I had a feeling that it was like the both of us had went back to our childhood times....."

I chuckled as I stroked her head, and if I wasn't being cautious at all, I really feel that the Xiao Yu right now is rather cute, and after 2 years of growth, she had become much prettier, and now had become an elegant young lady.

"Gege, sorry....your wound....."

"It's nothing, it didn't hurt at all too, even if Xiao Yu was to stab me a few more times, it'll still be alright!"

"Is it...but I didn't think that gege would really actually come to look for me, you aren't scared that I'll imprison you once again?"

Her eyes after bathing in a short moment of warmth immediately changed back into icy chillness.

"I'm your brother after all, so why are you being so disrespectful huh!"

I flicked her forehead once again, and my ring finger that was being bit bleeding left a red-colored finger marking onto Xiao Yu's forehead.

"Gege.....since you've......come, then don't go already, stay with me together in a world that just belongs to the both of us!"

Xiao Yu's smile, was an extremely sweet smile, and her hand was holding onto a syringe, so it's a trap as expected huh......

But, that doesn't matter any more.

"Mm, I won't go away... did you know that only the both of us knew about this place?"

Just when she was about to use the syringe and inject me, I hugged her; it's been two years..... two years before I had really and truly hugged Xiao Yu, I pressed her within my arms, and right now her ears should be able to hear my heartbeat sounds.

"You must have been really tired......."

When we were young, Xiao Yu absolutely loved to hear my heart beating like that before falling asleep, she said, that's the most heartwarming sound ever.

"Let go of me!"

She struggled within my embrace, but I didn't let go of her, and only used my hands to slowly stroke her head all the way down till her back, repeatedly.

"A long long time ago, there's a mountain, and on the mountain stood a pair of siblings, everyday they would....."

I began to tell the story that Xiao Yu absolutely loved to hear in the past, while letting her listen to my heartbeat sounds, and as I gently stroked her delicate body, I didn't knew how to apologize to Xiao Yu at all, and can only silently do those stuffs that she absolutely loved when we were young.

The clothes on my chest suddenly became a little damp, as Xiao Yu tightly grasped onto my clothes, and dug her head deeply into my arms; the soft m.u.f.fled choking sobbing sounds were mixed together with the chirping of insects, which would make anyone miserable upon hearing it.

The real reason why Xiao Yu would change so drastically, is to build a protective wall around her heart for herself, since no one helped to shelter her at all, she could only choose to do this, forcing herself to become resolutely strong; she's a child who loved to spoil cutely, naive, innocent, but just because of my improper willfulness.... she gave up on all these traits.

Xiao Yu indeed became resolutely stronger, crazily strong, and looked to be almost nothing being able to knock her down, but this protective wall was like it was being made of gla.s.s, not only was it prune to easy shattering, but the pieces of broken gla.s.s could also injure onto ownself, as well to others in the process.

Shutting her inner heart down all the way till now, she must have been extremely agonized....not being understood, being wronged, being hated by me.... everytime she laughed, her heart's probably weeping, the more she laughed happier.... the more her heart ached.....

"These two years, it's been hard on you, you've grown up, you don't need to have gege worry for every single thing you do already..... I'm really, really happy."

"But I don't want to grow up any single bit...I want to always be with gege, even when I know this is wrong, and not being acknowledged.... but these feelings of mine can't be erased off always....so.....if I won't grow up, then I'll always be gege's meimei, and gege will always care about me....."

"People will always grow up, Xiao Yu, did you know, a couple will always break up, marriage will turn to divorce, but a sibling's relationship will never change; unless I go to court to sever off all relations with you."

"Gege if you really dared to do that.....then I really can't hold myself back.....killing gege and whatnot......"

"But doesn't that mean that we could marry each other already?"

"I think so......"

"But what if there's the slim chance that we would argue, resulting in our divorce after that?"

"If it's like that, then I'll kill gege!"

"A girlfriend will go away, a wife may run off, but no matter how you shake a meimei off, you can never shake her away, so you'll have to consider carefully on that, alright~?"

Xiao Yu was being muddled around by my words, and momentarily went into a dazed state.

"Forget it, then I'll just be gege's meimei then, and if gege dared to go to court....."

"I won't, it must be agreeable by both parties then it'll then be officially considered a severance of relations you know....."

"Then that means, for the rest of my life, I'll be clinging onto gege already!"

"Mm, you can put it  that way."

I suddenly realized that, if I used my att.i.tude from young to face Xiao Yu directly, Xiao Yu would also use a similar att.i.tude from young to face me as well; and if I used a rather scornful att.i.tude to face her, she'll then respond back with that frightening att.i.tude in retrospect.

Looks like the route that I had always walked was in the wrong direction; I thought that as long as I rebelled against Xiao Yu, I would be able to walk out of that life that she controlled onto me, but, to truly escape from what she was controlling on, it was so simple in return.....

"Xiao Yu, I'm sorry, can you please forgive your gege?"

"I can't! My feelings at that time, gege did you know about them at all! Everyday being unable to fall asleep at night, going to school with a terrified heart in the day, and sometimes returning home to get scoldings from mom and dad, even gege you ignored me too.... that time I was like gege, begging for help from you so many times! It's not my fault, it's not!"

Xiao Yu's tone trembled, as I've expected, those past events really had embedded an extremely deep scar into her heart.

"It wasn't easy, for me to figure it out, only I can save myself.... I worked so hard to make myself stronger, becoming until no one dared to bully me again...until I've finally....can make gege listen to me once again....I've thought I finally succeeded...I won...but gege's tone...gege's att.i.tude was an expression of disgust to me...when I saw gege together with other women....and using the warmness that was originally supposed to be towards me to treat them....my heart really aches; and if only gege only had me alone by his side...I can once again get gege's concern....."

"I've finally hardened my resolve to change...but now you've told me about this! Gege....you're really extremely sly....I hate this kind of gege the most already!"

Xiao Yu's mouth kept screaming hate and hate, but kept hugging me even tighter as she did so, right now I've finally realized Xiao Yu's truest and most honest thoughts.... this "gege" that I'd been was really too irresponsible already.

"I love Xiao Yu, alright?"

"I hate gege! Hatehatehate!"

"But I really love Xiao Yu, lovelovelove!"

"How much love!"

"The number one love amongst all human beings!"

"Oh, is that so, then what kind of love do you mean?"

"Errr about this....being a gege I absolutely love you, this meimei the most already.....um...it's probably something like that."

"I knew that your going to say like this, as expected gege is only saying it without really meaning it at all, even though when we're small, gege always kept thinking about peeking at me bathing, but yet repeatedly walked outside the bathroom doors not daring to do it at all, humph!"

"Nonsense! I...I, why would I possibly....."

"When we were sleeping you still wanted to touch me everywhere too, but only used a frightening set of eyes to glance towards my b.r.e.a.s.t.s!"

"Haahahaha, I, Zhang Jian would never do these kind of things!"

"In your collection, eight out of ten books are all sister-related!"

"How did you know this!!"

Xiao Yu actually knew all about my little secret.....how can it be!

"There isn't anything that I don't know! Gege you've always been like that, a scaredy cat!"

"Oi oi, if I was to really bolden up, right now I'll probably would been beaten up by mom and dad till I'm crippled for life...."

"Even though that time I'll coordinate together with you to keep it a secret......"

"Nonono, keeping it a secret and whatnot....this kind of thing logically speaking is impossible already right."

"What's there to be impossible at all, isn't it fine as long as we did it with safety precautions...."

"What are you saying, let's go, time to go back to eat dinner, mom and dad are around tonight, so we'll eat a meal properly together as a family."

I flicked her forehead once again, and exerted my utmost to drag out Xiao Yu from the tree hole.

"I don't want, I'm not going back...."

"Don't even think of it, so you've dared to disobey me already huh, even if I've to drag you I'll do it till we reached home!"

"Gege is so annoying, I'm not going back means I'm not going back....."

I don't know why Xiao Yu still persisted on being so stubborn, probably it's within her heart that still had some resistance built up all over the years, 2 years of solid ice, as expected it wouldn't be that easy to be smashed broken.

"Get up here right now!"

I pulled her arms and forcefully dragged her into my arms, while turning around in the midst, piggy-backing Xiao Yu in the process.

In the past, when we played till we were tired here, whenever I asked her to go back, she would always complain on wanting me to carry her back.

"Put me down......."

"Never, absolutely never!"

"Gege you big bully!"

Although Xiao Yu's mouth said those, in realirt she was hugging my back extremely tightly, as if as she was afraid that she would fall down from it.

"Then....you must never ever put me down any more ever again~!"

That small whispered sentence, softly resounded into my ears, and Xiao Yu finally looked to be a little more cheerful already, but what I didn't know, was how much darkness that were still left within her.......

-ch 64 end-

(3229 words to tl)

Footnotes:
finger marking = it was finger print, but.... I chose marking instead, how do you flick and end up your fingerprint touching a person's forehead? ~.~

Glossary:
meimei = 'young sister'

Lao bà = informal way of saying 'father'

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