Lost Lenore Part 37

Volume Two, Chapter XVIII.

A MELANCHOLY END.

The next morning, I was forbidden by the physician to come into my mother's presence.

He said, that her life depended on her being kept tranquil; and he had learnt enough to know, that nothing would be more certain to injure her than the sight of myself. He feared that she would have an attack of brain fever, which would probably have a fatal termination.

I saw Martha; and conversed with her for a few minutes. My poor sister had also pa.s.sed a sleepless night; and, like myself, was in great distress of mind.

Her affliction was even greater than mine: for she had never, like me, been separated from her mother.

The physician's fears were too soon realised. Before the day pa.s.sed, he p.r.o.nounced his patient to be under a dangerous attack of brain fever--a disease that, in New South Wales, does not trifle long with its victims.

That night the sufferings of my unhappy mother ceased--I hope, for ever.

For all that had pa.s.sed, I felt sincere sorrow at her loss. For years had I been antic.i.p.ating an exquisite pleasure--in sometime finding my relatives and providing them with a good home. I had found my mother at last, only to give me a fresh sorrow--and then behold her a corpse!

If this narrative had been a work of fiction, I should perhaps have shaped it in a different fashion. I should have told how all my long-cherished antic.i.p.ations had been happily realised. In dealing with fiction, we can command, even fate, to fulfil our desires; but in a narrative of real adventures, we must deal with fate as it has presented itself, however much it may be opposed to our ideas of dramatic justice.

There are moments, generally met in affliction, when the most incredulous man may become the slave of superst.i.tion. Such was the case with myself, at that crisis, when sorrow for the loss of my mother, was strong upon me. I began to fancy that my presence boded death to every acquaintance or friend, with whom I chanced to come in contact.

Memory brought before me, the fate of Hiram, on our "prospecting"

expedition in California, as also the melancholy end of the unfortunate Richard Guinane.

My truest friend, Stormy Jack, had met a violent death, soon after coming to reside with me; and now, immediately after finding my mother, I had to follow her remains to the grave!

Soon after we had buried our mother, I consulted Martha, as to what we should do. I was still desirous of returning to Liverpool; and, of course, taking my sister along with me. I proposed that we should start, without further loss of time.

"I am sorry you are not pleased with the colony," said she. "I know you would be, if you were to stay here a little longer. Then you would never wish to return."

"Do not think me so foolish," I answered, "as to believe that I have come to this place with the intention of remaining; and wish to leave it, without giving it a fair trial. I came here on business, that is now accomplished; and why should I stay longer, when business calls me elsewhere?"

"Rowland, my brother!" cried Martha, commencing to weep. "Why will you _go_ and forsake me?"

"I do not wish to forsake you, Martha," said I. "On the contrary, I wish you to go along with me. I am not a penniless adventurer now; and would not ask you to accompany me to Liverpool, if I were not able to provide you with a home there, I offer you that, sister. Will you accept of it?"

"Rowland! Rowland!!" she exclaimed; "do not leave me! You are, perhaps, the only relative I have in the world. Oh! you will not desert me."

"Silence, Martha," said I. "Do not answer me again in that manner; or we part immediately, and perhaps for ever. Did you not understand me?

I asked you to go with me to Liverpool; and you answer, by intreating me not to desert you. Say you are willing to go with me; or let me know the reason why you are not!"

"I do not wish to go to Liverpool," replied she; "I do not wish to leave Sydney. I have lived here several years. It is my home: and I don't like to leave it--I _cannot_ leave it, Rowland!"

Though far from a satisfactory answer, I saw it was all I was likely to get, and that I should have to be contented with it. I asked no further questions--the subject was too painful.

I suspected that my sister's reasons for not wishing to leave Sydney, were akin to those that had hindered my mother from consenting to go with me. In all likelihood, my poor sister had some Mr Leary for whom she was waiting; and for whom she was suffering a similar infatuation?

It was an unpleasant reflection; and aroused all the selfishness of my nature. I asked myself: why I should not seek my own happiness in preference to looking after that of others, and meeting with worse than disappointment?

Perhaps it was selfishness that had caused me to cross the Pacific in search of my relations? I am inclined to think it was: for I certainly did fancy, that, the way to secure my own happiness was to find them and endeavour to make them happy. As my efforts had resulted in disappointment, why should I follow the pursuit any longer--at least, in the same fashion?

My sister was of age. She was ent.i.tled to be left to herself--in whatever way she wished to seek her own welfare. She had a right to remain in the colony, if she chose to do so.

I could see the absurdity of her trying to keep me from Lenore: and could therefore concede to her the right of remaining in the colony.

Her motive for remaining in Sydney, might be as strong as mine was for returning to Liverpool?

I had the full affection of a brother for Martha; and yet I could be persuaded to leave her behind. Should I succeed in overcoming her objections--or in any manner force her to accompany me--perhaps misfortune might be the result: and then the fault would be mine.

At this time, there were many inducements for my remaining in the colonies. Astounding discoveries of gold were being daily made in Victoria; and the diggings of New South Wales were richly rewarding all those who toiled in them.

Moreover, I had been somewhat fascinated by the free, romantic life of the gold-hunter; and was strongly tempted once more to try my fortune upon the gold fields.

Still there was a greater attraction in Liverpool. I had been too long absent from Lenore; and must return to her. The desire of making money, or of aiding my relatives, could no longer detain me. I must learn, whether the future was worth warring for--whether my reward was to be, Lenore.

I told my sister that I should not any more urge her to accompany me-- that I should go alone, and leave her, with my best wishes for her future welfare. I did not even require her to tell me the true reasons why she was not willing to leave Sydney: for I was determined we should part in friendship. I merely remarked that, we must no more be lost to each other's knowledge; but that we should correspond regularly. I impressed upon her at parting--ever to remember that she had a brother to whom she could apply, in case her unexplained conduct should ever bring regret.

My sister seemed much affected by my parting words; and I could tell that her motive for remaining behind was one of no ordinary strength. I resolved, before leaving her, to place her beyond the danger of immediate want.

A woman, apparently respectable, wished some one with a little money to join her in the same business, in which my mother and Martha had been engaged.

I was able to give my sister what money the woman required; and, before leaving, I had the satisfaction to see her established in the business, and settled in a comfortable home.

There was nothing farther to detain me in Sydney--nothing, as I fondly fancied, but the sea between myself and Lenore!

Volume Two, Chapter XIX.

NEWS FROM LENORE.

A large clipper ship was about to sail for Liverpool; and I paid it a visit--in order to inspect the accommodations it might afford for a pa.s.senger.

I made up my mind to go by this vessel; and selected a berth in the second cabin. Before leaving the clipper, I came in contact with her steward; and was surprised at finding in him an old acquaintance.

I was agreeably surprised: for it was Mason--the man who had been steward of the ship Lenore--already known to the reader, as one of the men, who had a.s.sisted in setting me right with Mrs Hyland and her daughter. Mason was pleased to meet me again; and we had a talk over old times.

He told me, that since leaving Liverpool he had heard of Adkins; that he was the first officer of an American ship; and had won the reputation of being a great bully.

I told the steward in return that I had heard of Adkins myself at a later date--that I had in fact, seen him, in California, where I had been a witness to his death, and that he had been killed for indulging in the very propensity spoken of.

Mason and Adkins had never been friends, when sailing together; and I knew that this bit of information would not be received by the old steward in any very unpleasant manner. Nor was I mistaken.

"You remember Mrs Hyland, and her daughter?" said Mason, as we continued to talk. "What am I thinking of? Of course you do: since in Liverpool the captain's house was almost your home."

"Certainly," I answered; "I can never forget _them_."

On saying this, I spoke the words of truth.

"Mrs Hyland is now living in London," the steward continued. "She is residing with her daughter, who is married."