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Julian wasn't stopping me from looking for my past, but he certainly wasn't making it easy for me. He had added a pa.s.sword to his computer so I could no longer snoop around in his files. Objects I hadn't given much thought to before were missing. I only noticed their existence after he removed them, but once they were gone, I struggled to remember what the objects had been. I didn't know where he moved them to, either. I couldn't find them anywhere in our bedroom or in his office, though I knew something was missing. I tried to search in the secondary room he had taken up sleeping in, but he kept the door locked all the time.
I was at a loss of where to search. It seemed any clues to my past in this house had been wiped clean by Julian. If I had lied back then, made up another excuse, maybe... maybe things would have gone differently.
I laid on my back staring blankly at the ceiling above me. It was well into the afternoon, but I refused to leave the bed. I felt the despair I tried so hard to ignore creeping into my chest again. If this life were a repeat of my last, what would I do? Would I waste away in a similar manner, waiting for the day Mia would push me into traffic again?
In my twenty third life, I hadn't done anything. I was filled with such numbness, I had been no better than a doll for two whole years. Would I become like that again? The only time I had felt anything was on my death bed. Not just pain, but surprise when I had seen those tears streaking down Julian's cheeks.
That crying face... The one man who could answer why those tears had appeared wouldn't even be able to remember them. Asking him that leading question on our wedding night had led me down this path of searching. I brought that image to my mind again of Julian crying. This was the reason I couldn't fall into despair.
Whatever the reason, there was one. Julian had married me for more than just our families's promise.
I threw off the sheets and stomped out of bed. I couldn't let a small setback like this ruin my determination.
...
I stood on Mia's doorstep and rang the bell again. I heard the chimes inside her condo, but no noise of anyone stirring. I finally gave up and headed back to the car. It was getting closer to evening. The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror.
"Where to now, Madam?"
I thought for a moment. It was a little early, but I knew she was probably doing her pre-clubbing pub crawl. I glanced down at my attire. I was dressed in a modest line dress in a light pink shade. It was not at all something I could wear to a club. I thought about the outfits at home in my closet. Most were vintage-inspired clothes and all were modest yet refined, befitting a newly-wed wife. All of them would make me stand out at a club.
"City center mall, please."
The driver nodded and pulled away from Mia's condo. I picked up my purse and flipped open to the cards. Just a few days ago Julian had given me my very own platinum credit card. It was of course entirely paid for by the Leonhart's. This card had seen me through all my live's expenses. Of course in some of those lives I had been paying for plane tickets and crazy vacations. Now I planned to use it to cause some mischief.
We arrived at the mall and the driver handed the car to a waiting valet. He followed behind me. Not only was he to drive me wherever I wanted, he also would carry my bags if I went shopping, or accompany me to any salons or restaurants I might visit. In other words, he was a driver, but he was also a bodyguard.
In past lives I had hated this bodyguard. I felt like he was there to judge me and report back to my husband. I stopped abruptly and turned to face him. If I wanted this plan to work, I would have to tell him everything. Julian already knew I was searching for my past. No matter what this man reported, I didn't want Julian to misunderstand.
"What's your name?"
The driver seemed surprised for a moment before he answered. "Joe, Madam."
"Please, call me Alice." I gave him my best smile. "Would you like to become my accomplice?"
Joe swallowed, his face becoming tighter. "Of what sort?"
"I need to learn what my husband is hiding from me." I turned on my heels and began walking again, looking out for a particular store.
"Madam--"
"I told you, call me Alice." I glanced over my shoulder, the smile never leaving my face.
"I-I'm sorry. I know it's none of my business, but what do you think Master Julian is hiding from you?"
"Among other things, a mistress."
I saw Joe's confusion on his face. "Mad I mean, Alice, I don't think he's--"
"I don't think he has yet, but I believe he will."
I didn't know if this would work to win Joe to my side or not. He would most likely continue to report things to Julian, but I couldn't very well tell Joe, 'I've lived through multiple lives, and I think there's something I've forgotten that made your employer hate me (or at least pretend to), and I know that my ex-best friend is going to seduce him'. There was no way. But I could tell him part of the truth.
Mia wasn't supposed to become Julian's mistress for another six months, but I would be d.a.m.ned if I didn't do everything in my power to stop that woman from entering my house before then. This was the week Mia first began seducing Julian. She would go to clubs Julian would visit to entertain business partners and somehow always managed to slip into his circle. In past lives I had tried to expose her, but it had never gone well.
This time, I was going to do something else. She could try to seduce my husband all she wanted, but I would seduce him first!