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I finally found one marked '03022011'. Inside the folder were hundreds of pictures of what looked like a beach trip. I held my breath as I scrolled, until I stopped over a thumbnail of a picture of me. This must be the trip to Hawaii. I opened the picture to take a closer look.
In the photo, my hair was wavy from the ocean and I was wearing a sundress. I wasn't looking at the camera, but off at the ocean. I was squinting slightly from the sun and I was lazily tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Even if I did remember the trip fully, I knew this wasn't a picture I was aware of.
I moved on to the next photo, but scrolling through them, most of the photos were of scenery. A few shots had pictures of Julian's family, showing his brothers or parents. I finally found a photo of Julian and I together, but it was similar to the engagement photo I had found.
We looked... happy. More than happy, even. Julian had his arms around me and was holding me up against his chest. I couldn't tell if I was laughing or screaming, but either way I looked like I could burst from joy.
Who was this girl in this photo? I knew she was me, but I didn't understand how someone could look so radiant. I thought of my own current appearance. I knew there were dark circles under my eyes and my hair was a disaster. But more than just my physical appearance, I didn't remember the last time I had truly smiled from the bottom of my heart the way I was in this photo.
I pulled myself from my melancholy and kept searching the folder. If I thought too much about it, I'd just become depressed. I knew how dangerous despair could be. Dying so many times had brought me closer to a pit of darkness that once I let myself fall into, I didn't think I would ever escape. I had lived that way in my last life and I wasn't about to do it again.
A photo near the end caught my eye. It was a group photo of everyone who had been there on vacation. Julian and I were off to one side with Mia and her father next to me. Julian's family extended into the middle of the photo, his two brothers and parents all looking dazzling. When I recognized the family member on the opposite side of the photo from Julian and me, I zoomed in to be certain.
There were three people on this planet who hated me enough to have me killed. One was Mia, who really had killed me many times. The second was Julian's mother, who I couldn't be certain, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was the reason I died once or twice. And finally, the third person who I wished to forget no matter what, was Julian's cousin, Eric Leonhart.
I could never remember where Eric and I had first met, but now I knew. We met on this trip. The trip to Hawaii was our first encounter, but it was never the last. My entire body shuddered.
No matter how many times Mia killed me, beyond a deep-seated hatred, I felt nothing else for her. Julian's mother, I felt we had a mutual dislike for one another, but she was tolerable when she wasn't around. But Eric... Eric was the one person I truly feared.
Throughout all my lives, he was the person I avoided more than anyone else. More even than Mia. If there was a Leonhart gathering with the main and branch families, I would refuse to attend. If there was a family vacation and Eric was going to be there, I would either hide in the hotel room or make up an excuse not to go.
Eric was the man who had pushed himself on me in the hotel hallway on that trip. If it belonged to Julian, Eric would want it. Even if that something belonging to Julian was a wife.
I had forgotten when my fear began, but it's because I refused to remember. I refused to acknowledge what ever it was that made me fear Eric so much. I still didn't want to acknowledge the memories flooding back into my mind.