Lies My Girlfriend Told Me Part 13

"No, it's not. I've been looking forward to it."

Seriously?

She pauses. "Do you like the ring?"

"I..." almost say I haven't looked at it. But of course I have. It's gorgeous. I'd die if anyone ever gave me something so beautiful and meaningful. "I haven't put it on," I tell her.

"Just testing," she says with a smile in her voice.

I think I pa.s.sed. I hope I did.

She adds, "I'm free after Ma.s.s on Sunday. Is that good for you?"

"Yeah," I tell her. All I'm doing here is wasting away, physically and emotionally.

"Around eleven?"

It can't be soon enough.

On Sunday morning, I keep peeking out the living room curtains, waiting for her to arrive. Dad says, "Expecting someone?"

I don't want to tell him because he and Mom weren't too happy about her standing me up the other night. Not that she did. Like I told them, we're not dating.

The Jetta comes into view and, as she pulls to the curb, I sprint out the door.

She rolls down her window and I hand her the ring box. She tosses it into her glove compartment.

"Don't you want to make sure it's in there?" I say.

"I never want to see that f.u.c.king ring again. Sorry, G.o.d." She makes the sign of the cross. "Anyway, I trust you."

A pang of guilt stabs me where it hurts. She has no reason to trust me-especially if she knew about the texts.

She asks, "Do you want to go somewhere to eat? I saw a Chipotle on the way here, and I'm starving."

I'm suddenly starving, too. From the doorway, I hear, "Alix?"

It's Dad. "Would you mind meeting my dad?" I ask Liana. "Tell him we're taking your private jet to lunch in Paris."

She furrows her brow.

"Just say hi."

She gets out and accompanies me up the sidewalk.

On the porch I say in a rush, "ThisisLiana. Liana, Dad."

She extends her hand to shake. "Hi," she says.

Dad asks, "How do you know Alix?"

Oh, G.o.d, no. Liana looks at me and I save her. "It's a long story. We're going out. Be back in a while."

I could kick myself. "Going out" sounds a whole lot like a date.

Liana smiles at Dad. "Nice to meet you."

I sense Dad wants to say more, but I hurry Liana away.

We order two humongous burritos and find a table near the window without nearby neighbors who can hear every word we say. Not that we're speaking. We're both slamming down food like there's no tomorrow. Which, in our world, seems imminently possible.

I like that she's not self-conscious about pigging out. Swanee was a picky eater. She had to disa.s.semble everything and remove what she didn't like.

Liana and I sip from our straws in unison, and swallow. I wonder who'll break the ice. Although it feels perfectly natural to sit here in silence and chow down.

"Where'd you find the ring?" she finally asks.

"In her room. In one of her trophies."

Liana rips off another bite of burrito between her teeth.

"You know how I told you Jewell and Asher were cool parents? I take it back. They're psycho." I tell Liana about what Jewell said to me, and how she encouraged Swan to basically sleep around.

Liana's eyes shoot flames and she shakes her head. "It doesn't excuse her behavior."

"No, I know. But maybe it explains it a little. Poor Joss." I take a bite of my burrito.

"What about Joss? She's going down with her for texting me."

Now would be the perfect time to tell Liana the truth, and I open my mouth to do it, but the words stick in my throat. Still, it isn't fair for her to hate Joss. "I think Joss is the most normal one of the bunch."

Liana scrunches up her nose. "How do you figure?"

"She's just trying to get attention," I say. "Plus, she did anything Swan told her to. Did you know about the p.o.r.n?"

Liana's eyes grow wide. "The what?"

I tell Liana the story.

"The only thing I heard about was the naked text. Swan dared her to do that, too."

My jaw drops. That photo went viral and totally ruined Joss's rep.

"She didn't have to do any of those things, though," Liana says. "It was her decision. The same way it was to let me keep believing Swan was alive. That really was unconscionable."

I fill my mouth with burrito.

Liana's gaze drifts out the window. "Swan could be romantic, and sweet. Like, on my birthday I got out of school to find my car stuffed full of balloons. She'd soaped my windows with 'I heart you.' " Liana's lips curl up slightly.

I remember the time, about a week after Swanee and I met, that I found my locker covered with glittery heart stickers. The princ.i.p.al wasn't so happy about her defacing school property. Swanee did help me sc.r.a.pe them all off, though. Then, a few days later, my locker was covered with rainbow stickers.

Liana says, "She'd call late at night and we'd talk for hours and hours. She made me feel like I was the only person in the world. I'd keep trying to hang up, but she'd say, 'Just one more minute.' Which turned into an hour. It was fun, but I was so wasted the next day." Liana stops and lowers her head. "Sorry."

She'd do that with me, too. Tell me how much she loved me and how lucky she was that coincidence had brought us together.

Liana sighs. "We lost our last game Friday. In OT."

That jolts me back to the present. "Do you like being a cheerleader?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm already planning to try out for the squad at CU. Swan and I were going to get an apartment together in Boulder."

I choke.

"What?"

Now is not the time to tell Liana that Swan signed a letter of intent to go to Arizona State. "I'd like to see you cheer sometime."

"Why?"

"Because I bet you're really good."

She shrugs. "We placed third in Spirit Squad compet.i.tion this year."

"Wow."

"It's not first."

She's driven, the way Swanee was about her running. "My friend Betheny is a cheerleader. Well, ex-friend."

She picks up on that. "What happened?"

"Guess."

Liana's eyes fix on me. "Swan was definitely the jealous type."

To the point of me sacrificing all my relationships.

"Were you and Betheny...?"

"No. Just friends." Good friends. Best friends.

"Swan was always suspicious of my friends, too." Liana dabs at a smear of sour cream on her mouth with a napkin. "She hated how much time I had to spend with the squad. Like it was one big orgy." She rolls her eyes.

We fall silent again. "Was it?" I say.

She looks at me and, with a mischievous glint in her eye, says, "Yeah. I'd sneak everyone into VS at night and we'd go wild."

I laugh.

She tosses me a lopsided smile. "Tell me about your family."

What's to tell? "My mom's an obstetrician and my dad's an IT consultant. Oh, and I have a baby brother."

"Really?" Her eyes light up. "I love babies."

I want to ask her if the baby I saw in her Facebook alb.u.m is hers, but she goes on, "I have six nieces and three nephews."

Geez.

"It's the Catholic in us. Big families. Procreation, you know?" Her cell rings. She digs it out of her bag and answers, "Que pasa?" She listens as I drain my drink. "Out with a friend." She goes to take a sip. "Dad, I'm still in Denver. Why can't Clarice do it?" She listens and purses her lips at me. I'm drawn to her lips. She has nice lips. Not thin or thick. Just-right lips.

I'm still mesmerized by her lips when she gathers up her trash and mine. "I have to go home. My sister needs a sitter because my mom has her church group and my dad can't even put a bottle in the warmer to heat it up. Thank you again for the ring."

"No problem."

At the door, she turns. "We didn't even get to talk about... you know."

Fine by me. It's not her responsibility to reconcile my feelings.

Liana drops me off in front of my house. "So," she goes.

"So." That's it. I feel an unwelcome sense of conclusion as I get out of the car.

I curse myself, curse the world-the underworld, the afterworld-as I watch her drive away.

I'm trapped between two worlds. One is pulling me backward, the other forward. The regressive force is stronger, yet the desire to move on is so fierce I'm having difficulty staying rooted. I know the past is Swanee, but can the future be Liana?

Swanee would be irate if I got together with her. She'd hate both of us.

I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I have to let Liana go, allow her to move forward so I can.

Chapter 15.

Joss is waiting for me at my locker on Monday. She looks... stricken.

"Hi," I say. I realize that Joss was as much a victim of Swanee's actions as Liana and I. Even if Liana's right about our choices being our own, Joss suffered the consequences of going along with Swanee's dares and crazy schemes. "I'm sorry about the car," I say. "And the lock on Swan's door. I hope you got everything out you wanted."

"Who gives a s.h.i.t about the f.u.c.king car? When I get my license I'm buying a Ferrari."

Right. With what money? I should tell her about the cash hidden under Swan's mattress. I a.s.sume she doesn't know about it or she would've retrieved it. A few hundred dollars isn't even enough to buy tires for a Ferrari, though.