Let It Snow Part 16

"Now, I don't really have a religious ident.i.ty."

"Hmmm."

"Does that bother you?"

"No. On the contrary, it would bother me more if you did."

"Not that I'm not interested in learning about religions or their histories."

"Right. Of course."

"I mean, earlier when you were talking about the Holy of Holies in the temple, I found that very interesting. It's strange to think of anyone believing that G.o.d would have some isolated presence in a room, and the idea of a deity needing a blood sacrifice has always been a bizarre concept to me."

"Yeah, well, our advances have led us to look at ancient concepts with a judging eye, but the pre-civilized world was a bizarre, violent place where any G.o.d that gave meaning, no matter how hollow, to a person's bleak existence was a welcome G.o.d."

"Right, but you don't see a reason for belief today."

"I guess it depends on the situation, but I can definitely see a circ.u.mstance where someone would rightfully turn to G.o.d for relief."

"And you're not a believer at all?" she asks, looking at him. He can sense a searching in her, possibly even a sadness, and he thinks about her husband, John, and how delicate these questions must be for her.

"I'm not anti-belief. I believe that if there is some higher form of consciousness, a collective consciousness, if you will, then it's probably deeper than human understanding, and all we can hope for is to catch faint glimpses of it from time to time."

"How do we do that?"

"By reaching for the truth, I think," he says, and holds an open hand out to her.

She places her hand in his, and he turns his body to face her.

"Is this how we reach for the truth?" she asks.

"I've always thought that if it feels true, then it is. And this feels true to me."

"Do you think this feeling, this urge I have for you to kiss me, is what you meant when you said we might catch a glimpsea"?"

She doesn't finish her question before his lips are pressed onto her lips, softly at first. Then his hands find her face and her hair, and things become more pa.s.sionate until the only sound they hear is their breathing.

Eric watches the silhouettes on the deck succ.u.mb to one shape, and a panic rises up in him. He stands, squints his eyes, tries to see through the stubborn screen of snow in front of him. But nothing is clear. For a second, time stops, and his heart freezes. It can't be true. He slowly moves forward. One step at first. Then another. After a few more cautious steps, he's nearly certain that they're kissing. He starts to trot slowly through the snow. Then as the flicker of the snow exposes them, erases any doubt, he runs.

"Annie!" he yells. "Annie!"

He gets halfway to the deck and falls face first into the snow. His feet and legs are so cold that getting up from the log and running was an impulse his head followed without fully considering how his numb limbs might react.

Michael and Holly stop kissing and look out into the yard.

"What the h.e.l.l?" Michael says. "Eric?"

Eric gets up from the snow and keeps moving toward the deck. The front of his body is covered with snow, and the snow on his face and hands would be bitterly cold if he weren't so preoccupied with his fear, his rage.

"What do you guys think you're doing?" he yells as he approaches the deck.

"What are you talking about?" Michael asks, staring at him.

"Michael?" Eric asks, finally getting enough light to make out Michael and Holly's faces.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, thank G.o.d." Eric says.

"What's wrong? Why were you yelling?" Michael asks.

"It's... I'm sorry. It was nothing," Michael says. He's somewhat out of breath, but climbs the steps of the deck, tries to brush the snow off his coat and pants with his hands, but they're so swollen and numb from the cold that he's just clumsily shoving them up and down his clothes.

Michael and Holly, still in a half-embrace, are still staring at him.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I guess I thought you guys had probably left already."

"In this?" Michael says.

"No, sure. You're staying the night."

"You're sure that's alright?"

"No, certainly. You have to stay," Eric says as he moves to the back door. He walks inside the house and yells for Annie.

She moves into the light of the hallway from the dining room. "What happened to you?" she asks, moving toward him.

"Oh, Annie," he says, and moves to embrace her.

"My G.o.d, Eric, you're freezing. And wet," she says, backing away from him a bit. "What happened?"

"I thought I'd lost you."

"What do you mean? Why would youa?"

"I saw Holly and Michael kissing on the deck, and it was dark and the snow wasa""

"Holly and Michael were kissing?"

"Yes, but that's not the point. I saw them kissing, and I thought it was you anda"" He stops himself. He can't even say it.

"Eric. I would nevera"

"I know, but when I saw them, my mind just flipped a switch, and all I felt wasa I don't know. Regret. Utter emptiness," he says, and looks at her. "It was terrifying."

"Sounds like it," Max says from the other end of the hall.

"Max, I'm glad you're still here," Eric says, trying to compose himself. He takes his coat off, drapes it over his arm, and moves toward Max.

"I was just getting ready to leave, actually," Max says.

"Really?" Annie says, and perhaps she's surrendered a little too much panic in her voice. She certainly feels panicked, wants him to stay. Eric and Max are looking at her. "But it is looking pretty bad out there."

"You could stay. We could listen to some music and catch up," Eric says. "I don't feel like I got to spend hardly any time with you tonight."

"I'd love to stay, but Annie's right. It's not getting any better out there. Plus, I have an early flight tomorrow."

"You think you'll even be able to get to the airport in this?"

"I'm going to try."

"What about Tim?" Annie asks Eric. "What was wrong?"

"Oh, nothing really. He was able to get back on the road."

"And Holly and Michael, they'rea"

"On the deck. I think they're staying the night."

"Good. They should," Annie says.

The back door opens and Holly enters, followed by Michael. Annie immediately notices that Michael appears to have his hand on Holly's lower back.

"We were just talking about you," Eric says.

"Oh?" Holly asks, trying as best she can to stifle a laugh. She doesn't know why she wants to laugh. Nothing particularly funny is happening.

"You guys look cold. Do you want me to make some coffee?" Annie asks, moving toward the dining room.

"No, I don't think so," Holly says.

"I can't drink coffee at this time of night," Michael says. "It'll keep me up too late."

Holly laughs, and everyone looks at her. "Sorry," she says. "You're just soa," she starts to say to Michael, but stops herself. "Maybe I will have some coffee."

"Eric, you want some?" Annie asks, moving by him.

"Yeah, I could use a cup."

Before Annie moves into the dining room she has to pa.s.s Max. She lingers a little too long on his eyes as she pa.s.ses and b.u.mps her shoulder into the door jamb.

"Ouch."

"You alright?" Eric and Max ask simultaneously.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she says, visibly embarra.s.sed.

Max follows her into the dining room, stops at the chair near the piano and grabs his coat.

Annie stops. "You sure I can't convince you to stay for one cup of coffee."

"No. Not that I don't want to. I do. But I really should get back and pack. Besides, you know how Mom worries. I'm surprised she hasn't called already."

"Right, wella" Annie starts, and then tries to think of something more to say, but her words only drift away.

Holly comes into the dining room and starts clearing away the dessert dishes.

"Holly, don't worry about that. Eric and I will clean up in a bit."

"I don't mind."

"Holly, can I talk to you for a second?" Michael asks, poking his head around the entrance of the dining room.

"Yes, you can," Holly says, looking over at Annie, who is giving her a knowing smile.

Holly leaves the dining room and follows Michael down the hall to Eric and Annie's bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Holly asks.

"Dropping off my coat."

"And you needed me for that?" she says, leaning against the doorframe, crossing her arms.

"No, I needed you for this," he says, and wraps his arms around her waist, pulls her close and kisses her.

"I suppose you did," she whispers.

"Eric says that there are some blankets in the closet of the guest room. Maybe you could help me grab them."

"Why? You're sleeping on the couch?"

"Well, I just thoughta," he says, moving by her toward the guest room. "Unlessa"

"No, it'sa I don't know. I'm not sure I'ma""

"I understand. I a.s.sumed I'd be sleeping on the couch," he says, stopping and facing her at the doorway of the guest room.

He leans in and kisses her again.

"Then again," she says, and they fade into the guest room.

Max is standing at the door as he puts his coat on.

"It was good seeing you," Annie says.

"Yeah, I hope we can do it again," Eric says.

"I'll be back."