Leading an Explosive Revolution in Another World! Vol 2 Chapter 1

Sadly, she came just a little too late

“My head hurts…”

“You’re awake.”

On hearing a clear dreamlike voice, I forcefully opened my heavy eyelids. My vision was blurry at first, and slowly cleared up.

What seemed like the rays of the afternoon sun lit up the room. Next to me was a golden haired girl hugging her knees as she leaned her head at an angle and looked right at me. She had a face that would make any artist go mad trying to replicate her beauty, her skin was so white it seemed translucent, and she wore a pure white dress. The rays of light shone down at her from an angle, making her look like an angel that descended from the heavens. If she was indeed an angel, she is definitely the most favoured one of all.

As I recalled that she was the emissary of the G.o.d of fate, everything that happened came rushing back to my mind.

“Tina!”

“Calling her name the moment you awaken,” the emissary said with a slightly lonely look, “She is currently being treated.”

“Tina is alive?”

“We don’t know yet, the healing procedure has not ended.”

“I want to go see her!”

As I hurried flipped myself off the bed, the emissary let out a painful whimper.

“You’re pressing on my hair…”

“Sorry sorry.”

Her hair was really long. Not only did it cover the entirety of the bed, it even made a pool on the floor.

“You cannot see Tina Faburando, the healing procedure cannot be interrupted,” she said, “The guards too, will not allow you in.”

My agitated emotions were subdued on hearing the emissary’s words. I can’t see her huh… Then I’ll just bear with it… It’s good enough knowing Tina can be saved.

Let’s bear with it first, let’s bear with it first, let’s bear with it first. I recited these words like it was a Buddhist sutra, in order to better calm my emotions down.I withdrew my feet and sat back quietly on the bed.

“Ouch.”

“Ah sorry sorry, I got your hair again.”

What a pain! I tenderly made a s.p.a.ce without hair on the bed. The hair in my hands felt very soft, smooth and light and was really nice to hold and made me not want to let go. But I had no choice but to let go because the emissary was looking at me.

“Your manner of speech is different from in the plaza.” I said, trying to make conversation, “I would have thought that you would always speak like that.”

“I only use the old tongue in formal situations.” She replied.

“I seem to have slept for very long, my head feels very heavy and cloudy.”

“3 days, from the Oracle Plenary until now.”

“I remember being ready to cut down green hair, and then you stopped me, then after that… I fell asleep.”

“You cried too.”

“No I didn’t, no, I don’t remember. So I’ve been sleeping for 3 days and 3 nights since then?”

“Un.”

Speaking of which, I felt an intense thirst.

“I…”

“Un.” The emissary immediately replied me without pause, as though she was awaiting my every word.

“I’m thirsty, do you have water?”

“Over there.”

“I picked up the cup that the emissary pointed to. It seemed to be crafted from clay and there was a round-shaped leaf at the bottom of the cup. The liquid that ran down my throat had a tea-like taste.

“…”

“…”

“Eh.”

“Un?”

“… Nothing.”

“Un Un.”

“…”

“…”

“There’s not enough, is there more?”

“There is.” The emissary left the room, brought back a clay teapot, poured me a full cup, set down the teapot, and returned to her knee-hugging position on the bed. The contents from the teapot were a little too hot, and I had to blow away the steam and drink with small mouthfuls.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Um,” I said, as I couldn’t take it anymore, “Can you please don’t stare at me?”

The emissary blinked in surprise.

“Why not?”

Are you taking me for a panda! From the moment I woke up till now, except for when you went to take the teapot, your eyes have never left me! Am I such a rare specimen, are humans a critically endangered animal in the eyes of elves?

“Why are you staring at me?”

“Because I want to see clearly.”

“See what clearly.”

“You look different in my dreams.”

“Dreams? You dreamt of me?”

“Un,” the emissary nodded, “Since half a year ago, I have been dreaming of you every night.”

I violently choked. Wha-wha-wha-wha-what kind of pa.s.sionate reply is that, is she telling me that she can’t stop thinking about me to the point of seeing me in her dreams!? No, wrong, I only just came to this world half a year ago, where did she see me.

“You must be mistaken. The Oracle Plenary was our first meeting.”

“No,” she shook her head, “Every night, the G.o.d of fate sends me a vision of what happened in your day in the form of a dream.”

Eh?

“But why do that?”

“Don’t know, he never said why.”

She suddenly gave a toothy smile, like a delighted child.

“From the time you got picked up by Tina Faburando till now, I know everything about Molan.”

Everything! My heart gave a shudder, then those things I did in my room while looking at erotic books… She couldn’t have seen them right?

“Sometimes Molan does strange things.”

“UWAAAAAAAAAAA I can’t help it, I’m a guy after all! Please I beg you, forget all that!”
Oh G.o.d above! Just kill me with one lightning strike! I can no longer live on with this shame! And are You an idiot or a moron, you showed such corrupted images to such a pure girl, do you not know what is censorship? You are actually enjoying this, aren’t You!

“I don’t want to.” The emissary rejected resolutely, “I don’t want to forget a single thing about Molan.”

“Why?”

She hugged her knees tighter, and her cheeks were dyed a pinkish red, and she looked at me with the resolution of a warrior that bravely faced death.

“Because, I’ve loved Molan since a long, long time ago!”

Time seemed to stop.

The birds outside the window chirped cheerfully and freely outside as they looked on the 2 embarra.s.sed idiots in the room. The tree branches gently swayed and a gentle breeze blew in, as the love comedy formally began.

Without any warning at all, I was confessed to by a golden angel. And now that angel was embarra.s.sed, burying her face in the corner of the bed muttering to herself. What a beautiful attack, 200 out of 100 points, I could hear my heart explode and scatter into brilliant fireworks.

Just a moment ago, I was still worried about a mountain of matters, the Tina who was still hanging between life and death, the plaza that was filled with corpses of my doing, how the headmaster and William was, whether Txarango had been utterly destroyed to the point of losing its flag and national song… All this was now relegated to the back of my mind. I remembered that it was the most beautiful season of the year. A scent of lavender wafted through the air, everything seemed to be lazy after waking up in this beautiful afternoon, from the crickets to the dragonflies, nothing hateful seemed to happen and I was enjoying the bittersweet experiences of youth.

Men are such stupid creatures. With just a single confession, their hearts can fly to the heavens, plus the confessor is the great emissary who is an unparalleled beauty across the world. Just when you think she is a divine G.o.ddess beyond your reach, she descends to the mortal realm for you. There she sits, not a meter away, you can catch a glimpse of her cute bare legs, touch her soft golden hair and embark on an epic romance that transcends race and status.

Sadly, she came just a little too late, for you already have someone in your heart.

“*Keh Keh*,” I coughed a few times, “The uh, the room is a little stuffy, I’m going out for a walk.”

And I’m lost. This forest is just too d.a.m.n big.

When you’re lost, it’s best to stay put and not wander about. Upon remembering this, I realised I had walked for a very long while already. Cracking sounds could be heard with every step as fragile tree branches and leaves littered the ground that was covered with weeds that proliferated across the entire forest. The trees I came across on my way were all tall and mighty, like skysc.r.a.pers while a mult.i.tude of criss-crossing vines would hang down from the tree. They looked so snakelike that I repeatedly got scared out of my wits when I hit my head on them

This was clearly a primary forest. There were many bird chirps and insect cries that I had never heard before. Thinking about it, it wouldn’t be strange to meet with a poisonous snake. But while I did not meet a single snake, I did meet a tiger.

It came without any warning at all. The sun was setting and my stomach was growling furiously from hunger as I leaned against a big tree hoping someone would find me. All of a sudden, I felt a wave of warm damp air blowing toward my face. I turned around and saw a pair of feline-like amber eyes right in front of me. We were so close, our noses were practically touching; its teeth baring in a wide open mouth, as if it was going to kiss me.

Because I was so shocked, not a single sound squeaked out of me.

Various images flashed across my mind as I tried my best to recall the contents of a book called [50 rules to surviving in the wild] which I had read before. If I remember correctly, it gave tips on how to escape from a tiger. Ah I remember, it said that if one came face to face with a tiger and the tiger was motionlessly observing you, it meant that you were already in its safety zone and it is recommended that you do not make sudden movements. You should quietly look back at it and slowly retreat without bending, turning or lowering your head. The moment you turn your back to it, it will identify you as prey and hunt you down immediately. If you kept facing it, it might be hesitant to attack and maintain an impa.s.se as it will have the impression that you are its equal.

This seemed to make a lot of sense to me, and I opened my eyes as wide as possible and stared back at it. It was still cautious, and did not seem to have any intention of leaping forward. YES! I am winning the battle of wills!

As I took a step backwards, *gazi*, my heart nearly leapt out of my mouth from the sound. But it’s all good, the tiger has not moved.

Hu… Good, good kitty cat, just stay there.

Second step, no movement. Third step. Fourth step. Fifth step.

Escape is possible! I’ll slowly fade away from its sight just like that!

Tch, if only I hadn’t left Shuoxue back in the emissary’s room. I could be eating tiger steak by now.

Sixth step. I stepped on a slightly thicker branch, slipped and fell right on my bottom.

— s.h.i.tTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All that effort for naught! Yet the tiger did not leap forward. I got up and went to take a look, but it was lying on the ground dead, just a single arrow pierced its skull.

“Dead, haha!”

A red-haired boy that looked to be about my age with pointy ears and a short scar on the left side of his face walked to where I was and waved at me.

“h.e.l.lo! Dangerous back there eh?”

I shook his hand, “Heheheheheh.e.l.lo.”

Holy s.h.i.t, that scared me! I thought I was going to see Marx! Thank goodness me! [50 rules to surviving in the wild] is too good!

“Why is a human here? Ah, I got it, you are the boy that Lady Tess brought back right?”

My wits were finally coming back to me.

“By Tess, you mean that elven emissary with e tremely long hair?”

“Yeah! Lady Tess is the emissary. Here’s pretty far from Lady Tess’s place, did you get lost?”

“Un… I got lost as I walked on and on, and even met the tiger.”

“It’s a prey that I’ve been tracking for a day. Hei–sho.”

He shouldered the almost 400kg tiger effortlessly, somehow finding the strength from that slim body.

“My name’s Jack.”

“Oh, mine’s Molan.”

“Mo lan? What a strange name.”

“It’s from the tongue of my hometown.”

“What does it mean?”

“‘Ink is finishing’, it means I don’t have much knowledge.”

(TL: I am not s.h.i.tting you, 墨=墨水,阑=将尽. Author used wrong 近 in original but the first is correct. In Mandarin, 墨水 is literally ink, but here it refers to knowledge/learning)

“Isn’t that a terrible name huh~”

“Yeah, no idea why my old man gave me this name.”

“My name means ‘smart and handsome’, suits me perfectly right.”

(TL: Sure Jack)

No hint of unfamiliarity at all. Jack’s silly laugh infected me as well and I unwittingly smiled. I like this kind of friendly easy-going guy, always a pleasure to hang out with.

“Speaking of which, your stomach has been growling huh.”

“Wu.”

“Haha, you’re hungry eh.” Jack paused to think for a moment, “My house is nearby, why don’t you come over for dinner!”

“Let me tell you uncle, at that time, it was really, you know, my head just went *weng* and exploded!”

Jack’s family only consisted of him and his father. The house was small, unlike Tess’s, but it was well-equipped, warm and breezy. Jack’s father was called Walter, and it was clear that Jack was a chip off the old block. He was very friendly and warm and all round, a great host, completely breaking the image I had of elves being distant and cold. I sat around the fire with them eating tiger barbecue and drank the red wine Walter made himself. Seems like there isn’t any age restrictions on liquor. We talked about anything and everything, ate the juicy chunks of meat and drank delicious wine as the sun crept slowly down the horizon, leaving an amber afterglow that looked like the sky was alit.

“And so I said, ‘w.a.n.g ba du zi’, you dare touch my woman? I’ll give you a good one!”

(TL: Untranslateable… And it’s a continuing gag below… 王八犊子 = w.a.n.g ba du zi, the first 2 letters is basically b.a.s.t.a.r.d while du zi is a mainland Chinese insult originating from some region. w.a.n.g ba originated from turtle. But if you know Mandarin, turtle or tortoise is wu gui, what happened is essentially intergenerational word play and blending of dialects that led to the modern form.)

“What is ‘w.a.n.g ba du zi’?”

“It means they are little tortoises!”

“Why do you call them little tortoises? I think little tortoises are so cute, especially how silly they look swimming in the water.”

“Jack don’t interrupt! Moleng was just reaching a good part, let him continue!”

“But dad, he is Molan, not Moleng!”

“Stop changing the topic! Listen to me. Now where was I?”

“You were talking about little tortoises.”

“Oh thanks. Yeah so little tortoises when they swim in the water–No no no! What little tortoises, I was talking about giving them a good one!”

“Yeah yeah yeah! You were going to give them a good one! What happened then?”

“Then? Then I pulled out my dragonslaying sacred sword and slashed right and left, and killed them all, haha!”

“Wowee! Awesome!”

“I don’t believe you! You’re just bulls.h.i.tting, you look like you can’t even stand against a breeze!”

“Come on uncle, I don’t want to hear that, what can’t stand a breeze, I, eh, my cup is empty, fill me up.”

“Come come come, drink as much as you want, lot more where that came from!”

“*Guru guru (drinking sounds)*… Heheh, this wine is really addictive.”

“Isn’t it! Geh, it’s our family recipe! Moleng, if I sell my wine in human lands, I can make a pretty penny, no?”

“That is! Uncle, I think you can at least make this much.”

“No no no, add another zero.”

“Eh eh, Molan continue your story, what happened after you killed them? From what you said, wouldn’t there be a war?”

“Yeah, I screwed Txarango over, geh.”

“Not just that! Molan, you can’t go back anymore, you’re a wanted man in every nation, your brain will be separate from you if you are caught!”

“… Right you are!”

“Never fear! Just stay here in the forest of us elves, stay with us here! I’ll take you as my son! All you need to do is chop wood, draw water and some ch.o.r.es, I will take care of hunting with Jack.”

“Aiyo dad! Even if he were to stay, he wouldn’t stay with us, he would stay with Lady Tess! He and Lady Tess…”

“Ah? You are Lady Tess’s man!?”

“Bu, bulls.h.i.t! I only knew her name today!”

“You’re good huh boy… Even that Lady Tess fell to you, you’re smooth huh! Hai, I too was popular back in the day. But you youngsters should listen to this piece of advice from the old man, when it comes to love, stay faithful and don’t get a harem!”

“No no no, I have no such relationship with Tess! I only love Tina… Oh right uncle, do you elves have any spell that can resurrect the dead?”

“Resurrect the dead? How is that possible! That goes against the natural order! But Lady Tess is divinely powerful, and she has the favour of the G.o.d of fate… Maybe she can do something.”

“Eh…”

“Why so gloomy?”

“I’m really worried about Tina… What will I do if she dies…”

“… It’ll be alright Molan, if she couldn’t save her, she wouldn’t have brought her back. There have been many things great people have failed but yet she succeeded!”

“Do you all know where Tina is being treated?”

“No, but I think, it should be the holy lake.”

“Holy lake?”

“Only Lady Tess and members of elven royalty know about it. It is said to be the place that is closest to G.o.d. Resurrecting the dead is probably the sort of thing where you need the help of G.o.d.”

“…”

“Okay no more gloom, what’s the use anyway? Be more optimistic. Oh, it’s already dark outside. Lady Tess’s place is too far, why not stay here for the night!”

“Sounds good sounds good.”

*Dong dong dong*

“Someone’s knocking dad, I’ll go get it. Coming coming! h.e.l.lo–Lady Tess!”

In an instant, everyone snapped out of their drunken stupor and regained their vision and realised what a mess the place was.

Tess pulled her hair as she walked into the room. As she entered, Jack and Walter did their best to fix their drunken expressions and bowed deeply, or so they tried but they could barely keep their balance.

“Lady Tess, what brings you here?” Walter asked as he belched, “Please forgive us for not receiving you properly, we didn’t know you were coming to our humble abode…”

“I’m here for Molan.”

“Te, Tess.”

I kept my head bent low and didn’t dare to look at her because I ran away from her confession… And the worse part was that just catching a glimpse of her made his heart race like a Harley motor. Before the confession, it was still okay but after the confession, I couldn’t resist her.

“You know my name.” She said with a tinge of happiness, “Let’s go back.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“G.o.d told me.”

Another dream? This G.o.d really likes giving me trouble!

I looked at the father-son pair and tried to communicate to them with my eyes to think of a way to let me stay. Jack was only slightly tipsy, and understood my intent first.

“Lady Tess! Molan is drunk. The journey is so far, why not let him rest here!”

Good one. I quickly lay down on the ground and groaned.

“Is he unwell?” Tess immediately came overln hearing Jack, and a sweet soothing scent enveloped me, making me giddy.

She reached out and touched my forehead, “Eh, it’s getting hotter and hotter, he really is unwell.”

“No Lady Tess. Molan isn’t having fever, he is just drunk, no need to touch his head.”

What are you running your mouth for uncle! Just let her touch her fill and she will go back herself!

“No need to touch his head?” Tess asked, with suspicion floating onto her face, “What sort of illness is being drunk like? I don’t know what it’s like, will touching his chest help?”

She reached out and caressed my chest.

“His heartbeat is so fast! Are you okay, Molan? I don’t know healing magic…”

Say something quickly to make her go back you two!

“Lady Tess, when one is drunk, receiving a kiss makes it a lot better.”

Oi uncle what are you saying! Have you gone completely drunk!

“It’s true, in the past when I was drunk and out of it, a kiss from my wife brought me back well and good.”

“Is that how it is?”

Tess actually believed it, and softly kissed my forehead.

“His heartbeat is increasing even more! What do I do!”

“That’s because you kissed the wrong place, you should kiss him on his lips.”

You f.u.c.kers shut up already!!!!!!!!!!

“Lady Tess, just one kiss and he will recover fully? My wife used to always kiss me on my lips too!”

“Yeah! Mom always kissed dad on the lips!”

Both father and son were flushed red but did not take their eyes off me and Tess.

“Kiss!”

“Kiss!”

“…O, okay then…”

“I’m awake! Feeling refreshed! No problems at all! What are we still waiting for? Tess, let’s go back now!”

Just as Tess was about to kiss me, I rolled away and sprang up from the ground, dodging as far as I could.

“Molan you’re okay already.”

“See Lady Tess, I told you a kiss worked!”

“Dad said it!”

You b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, I’ll burn your s.h.i.tty house down sooner or later.