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A World Without String Is Chaos 30 Chapter 30: Father

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"What." Dad.

"WHAT???!!!" Mom!

The other people in the diner looked clearly annoyed. Fred and his parents were at the local diner in his hometown, and he had just broken the news about Mark, their grandson.

"What the f.u.c.k were you thinking, Fred!" Mom screamed, in a hushed voice this time. She always (tried to) mind(ed) her manners in public.

"I actually agree with your mother, Fred. What were you thinking?" Dad agreed. He still had raised eyebrows.

"What is that supposed to mean, actually agree?" Mom snapped.

"I know I've been irresponsible. An absent father, in a another country, no less. It's a good thing that Carlos was there for Mark."

"...Who's Carlos?" Mom and Dad.

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Fred was exhausted. They were at that diner for two hours, while he desperately tried to explain to his parents that they had been grandparents, all along. His dad stayed quiet, listening, while his mom exclaimed every now and then, mostly with cries of "Poor Emily!" He was relieved his mother didn't seem to consider Emily as a honky-tonk woman. Fred was nervous his father didn't seem to comment at all at this breaking news. He had trouble figuring out what his father thought about the whole thing. After all, Fred had told them now only because of his father's coming pa.s.sing. He felt it was actually appropriate timing to tell his mom and dad, now of all times. Regardless of the looming death. They had to know sometime. Right?

His mother demanded to see her grandson's picture, at least. Fred took out his smartphone and showed them pictures of Mark, Emily, Sarah, and Carlos. Mark was scowling in all of them. Emily had a beautiful smile in all of them. "She's beautiful!" Mom. "He has your father's nose! And your eyes!" Mom! "..." Dad.

The next day, Fred's father called him to meet him to have a talk in Fred's parents' room. Fred had taken time off of work. For the week.

Fred walked into the room. His father was already smoking, looking out into the night sky. He looked over at his son, then back outside.

Fred pulled a cigarette out of the blue and white pack, sat down, lit up, and inhaled. He coughed.

His father coughed, too. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" His father sounded angry.

"...I don't know." Fred hung his head down. He couldn't bear to look his father in the eyes.

"I'm disappointed, Fred. This isn't something you could hide from me and your mother. It doesn't just concern you. How could you be so selfish."

"Your mother's heartbroken right now. She missed out on raising her grandson during his childhood. She may not seem to be so, but she is. I had to listen to her sob the whole night."

"Grandparents need grandchildren more than they need us."

"...I thought you had managed to grow up, son."


"...I'm sorry, Dad." Fred felt it difficult to manage his cool. The last line his father threw at him really cut deep.

His father felt it, too. "...Sigh. I'm sorry about the last thing I said. You've been doing so well. And I'm not talking about the new job you got. When you got that job at the deli, I was so proud of you. It's not easy to go from what you were going through and gritting your teeth, and live the working life. I was so proud of you, then. I should have let you now then, more. Maybe you wouldn't have done something so stupid if I had."

"Sending over money doesn't help one bit, Fred. You've been an absent father, in another country, no less. You must be in your son's life, now. If he even let's you do that. I may not have been a good father-"

"You've been great, dad." Fred was tearing up.

"Don't interrupt me." Dad. "Sons need their fathers the most during young adulthood. They need their fathers to teach them through the transition from boys to men. In a way, it's a good thing you entered his life in Mark's late teens. It was your last shot, Fred. You almost missed it."

"I was hoping for an ordinary life for you, Fred. Married to a nice local girl. The usual."

"Dad, I don't regret anything. I love my life now, and I love Emily. I love Mark, too." Fred disagreed.

"..."

"I'm sorry for not telling you, dad, but please don't think of all this as a mistake."

"Okay." His father nodded.

"You've grown up, Fred."

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A World Without String Is Chaos 30 Chapter 30: Father summary

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