Lalage's Lovers Part 18

"There are ices coming," I said a few minutes later, "twelve of them. I mention it in case----"

"Oh, that's all right," said Lalage. "We shall be able to manage the ices. There isn't really much in these cakes."

If Selby-Harrison had come there would, I think, have been cakes enough; but there would not have been any to spare. I only ate two myself. When we had finished the ices we gave ourselves to conversation.

"That t.i.thers man," said Lalage, "seems to be a fairly good sort."

"Is t.i.thers another name for the Puffin?"

"No," said Lalage. "t.i.thers is Joey P."

"He signed his letter Joseph P.," said Hilda, "so at first we called him that."

t.i.therington usually signs himself Joseph P. I inferred that he was t.i.thers.

"You liked him?" I said.

"In some ways he's rather an a.s.s," said Lalage, "'and just at first I thought he was inclined to have too good an opinion of himself. But that was only his manner. In the end he turned out to be a fairly good sort.

I thought he was going to kick up a bit when I asked him to sign the agreement, but he did it all right when I explained to him that he'd have to."

"Lalage," I said, "I'd like very much to see that agreement."

"Hilda has it. Hilda, trot out the agreement." Hilda trotted it out of a small bag which she carried attached to her waist by a chain. I opened it and read aloud:

"Memorandum of an agreement made this tenth day of February between the Members of the A.S.P.L., hereinafter called the Speakers, of the one part, and Joseph P. t.i.therington, election agent, of the other."

"I call that rather good," said Lalage.

"Very," I said, "Selby-Harrison did it, I suppose?"

"Of course," said Lalage.

"(1) The Speakers are to deliver for the said election agent . . .

speeches before the tenth of March."

"I told t.i.thers to fill in the number of speeches he wanted," said Lalage, "but he seems to have forgotten."

"(2) The Speakers hereby agree to a.s.sign to the said election agent, his successors and a.s.signs, and the said election agent hereby agrees to enjoy, the sole benefit of the above speeches in the British Empire.

"(3) When the demand for such speeches has evidently ceased the said election agent shall be at liberty----"

I paused. There was something which struck me as familiar about the wording of this agreement. I recollected suddenly that the Archdeacon had once consulted me about an agreement which ran very much on the same lines. It came from the office of a well-known publisher. The Archdeacon was at that time bringing out his "Lectures to Confirmation Candidates."

"Has Selby-Harrison," I asked, "been publishing a book?"

"No," said Lalage, "but his father has." "Ah," I said, "that accounts for this agreement form." "Quite so," said Lalage, "he copied it from that, making the necessary changes. Rather piffle, I call that part about enjoying the speeches in the British Empire. It isn't likely that t.i.thers would want to enjoy them anywhere else. But there's a good bit coming. Skip on to number eight." I skipped and then read again.

"(8) The Speakers agree that the said speeches shall be in no way a violation of existing copyright and the said agent agrees to hold harmless the said speakers from all suits, claims, and proceedings which may be taken on the ground that the said speeches contain anything libellous."

"That's important," said Lalage.

"It is," I said, "very. I notice that Selby-Harrison has a note at the bottom of the page to the effect that a penny stamp is required if the amount is over two pounds. He seems rather fond of that. I recollect he had it in the agreement he drew up for me."

"It wasn't in the original," said Lalage. "He put it in because we all thought it would be safer."

"You were right. After the narrow shave you had with the bishops you can't be too careful. And the amount is almost certain to be over two pounds. Even Vittie's character must be worth more than that."

"Vittie," said Lalage, "appears to be the very kind of man we want to get at. I've been reading his speeches."

"I expect," I said, "that you'll enjoy O'Donoghue too. But Vittie is to be your chief prey. I wonder Mr. t.i.therington didn't insist on inserting a clause to that effect in the agreement."

"t.i.ther's hated signing it. I was obliged to keep prodding him on or he wouldn't have done it. Selby-Harrison said that either you or he must, so of course it had to be him. We couldn't go for you in any way because we'd promised to respect your scruples."

I recollected the telegram I had received just before leaving Lisbon.

"I wish," I said, "that I felt sure you had respected my scruples. What about Selby-Harrison's father? Has he been consulted?"

"Selby-Harrison isn't coming, only me and Hilda."

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing he's in the Divinity School now."

"That needn't stop him," I said. "My const.i.tuency is full of parsons, priests, and Presbyterian ministers, all rampant. Selby-Harrison will be in good company. But how did he get into the Divinity School? I thought the Provost said he must take up medicine on account of that trouble with the bishops."

"Oh, that's all blown over long ago. And being a divinity student wasn't his only reason for not coming. The fact is his father lives down there."

"Ah," I said, "That's more serious."

"He wrote to his father and told him to be sure to vote for you. That was as far as he cared to go in the matter."

"It was very good of him to do so much. And now about your mother, Hilda. Has she given her consent?"

"Not quite," said Hilda. "But she hasn't forbidden me.

"We haven't told her," said Lalage.

"Lalage, you haven't respected my scruples and you promised you would.

You promised in the most solemn way in a telegram which must have cost you twopence a word."

"We have respected them," said Lalage.

"You have not. My chief scruple was Hilda's mother."

"My point is that you haven't had anything to do with the business. We arranged it all with t.i.thers and you weren't even asked to give your consent. I don't see what more could have been done for your scruples."

"Hilda's mother might have been asked."