Lady Maude's Mania Part 35

"Why of course, my dear," he said, "always. I shall think of you as the dearest and best of sisters, who always stuck up for me, and kept herself poor by lending me--no, hang it, I won't be a humbug--giving me nearly all her allowance. Maude, old girl: I'm afraid we young fellows are terribly selfish beasts. Look here," he cried, excitedly, to hide the tears that would come into his eyes, "I tell you what; I can get half a dozen fellows together who'll help me burke old Wilters if you'll say the word."

"Don't be foolish, Tom dear," sighed Maude. "I must go now to papa. I want to stay with him all day. Thank you, dear Tom; be kind to him when I'm gone."

"That I will, dear," he said; and, embracing him fondly, Maude hurried away out of the room.

"Tom," said Tryphie, coming behind him as he stood, rather moist of eye, gazing after her.

"Tryphie," he cried excitedly, facing round, "I feel such a scoundrel; and as if I ought to put a stop to this cursed marriage. Here's a set out: she detests him, that's evident; and if Charley Melton had been a trump, hang me if he shouldn't have had her. Curse it all! her ladyship's too bad. There, I can't stand it, and must be off. This place chokes me--What were you going to say!"

"I was only going to say, Tom," she said, softly, "that I'm very sorry I've behaved so unkindly to you sometimes, and snubbed you, and been so spiteful."

"Don't say any more about it, Tryphie," said the little fellow, sadly.

"I'd forgive you a hundred times as much for being so good to the old man. Good-bye, Tryphie, I'm off."

"But you'll come back for the wedding, Tom!"

"I'll be there, somethinged if I do," he said.

"What! See a second sister sold by auction?--Knocked down by my lady to the highest bidder? No, that I won't. I can't, I tell you. Hang it all, Tryphie, you chaff me till I feel sore right through sometimes.

I'm a little humbug of a fellow, but I've got some feeling."

"Yes, Tom," said Tryphie, looking at him strangely, though he did not see it. "But I was going to say something else to you."

"Well, look sharp then," he said. "What is it!"

"Only, Tom, that I don't think I ever quite knew you before; and you have pleased me so by what you said to poor Maude."

"Tryphie!" he cried, with his eyes sparkling.

"Yes, Tom, dear," she said, looking up in his face. "Don't let aunt marry me to any one."

"If I do!" he cried, clasping her in his arms, and her pretty little rosebud of a mouth was turned up to his for the kiss that was placed there, just as the drawing-room door opened, and her ladyship sailed in to stand as if petrified.

"Lord Diphoos! Tryphie!" she cried in a deep contralto. "What are you doing?"

"Kissing," said Tom. "It's done this way," and he imprinted half a dozen more kisses upon Tryphie's frightened little face before she struggled from him, and ran out by another door.

"Have the goodness, sir, to ring that bell," said her ladyship, laying her hand upon her side, and tottering to an easy-chair. "I cannot talk to you about your conduct now--your wickedness--your riot and debauchery--my mind is too full of what is about to take place; but as you are going away to-day, I must tell you that you can return here no more until Tryphie is married. I will not have her head filled full of wicked nonsense by so unprincipled a young man."

"Yes, I am a very bad one, mother," said Tom, quietly; "but don't make yourself uncomfortable. I am not going away."

"Not going away?" shrieked her ladyship. "Ah, who is that?" she continued, without turning her head.

"Robbins, my lady."

"Oh, Robbins, send Justine to me."

"Yes, my lady," said the butler, retiring.

"I'm going to stop and see Maude turned off, if old Wilters don't have a paralytic stroke on his way to church."

"Tom!"

"Well, it's likely enough. He's only about forty, but he has lived twice as fast as most fellows ever since he was fifteen, so that he's quite sixty-five."

"I will not listen to your insults, sir. As your mother, I should at least be spared."

"Oh, ah, of course," said Tom, "duty to grey hairs and that sort of thing--Beg pardon though; I see they are not grey. I'm going to stop it all out now, and I shan't go--and what's more, mamma," he cried, nursing one of his little patent leather shoes as he lolled back, "if you are cantankerous, hang me if I don't contrive that the governor has the full run of the wine at the wedding breakfast, there."

"If you dare, Tom!" cried her ladyship. "Oh, Justine, my drops."

"Yes, milady," said that damsel. "Ah! bold, bad lil man," she added to herself, as she glanced at Tom, who very rudely winked at her when she closed the door after Lord Barmouth, who crept in and went timidly to an easy-chair.

"Your drops!" said Tom. "Ha--ha--ha! why don't you take a liqueur of brandy like a woman, and not drink that stuff."

"Tom," said her ladyship, "you are too coa.r.s.e. You will break my heart before you have done. Only to think of your conduct," she cried, glancing at the chair in the farther room, where Lord Barmouth lay apparently asleep, as being his safest course when there was trouble on the way, "that too of your dozy, dilatory father, when one of you might make a position in Parliament, the other a most brilliant match."

"Why, you don't want the old man to take another wife, do you?" said Tom. "I say, dad! Here, I say: wake up."

"Silence, sir, how dare you!" exclaimed his mother. "You wicked, offensive boy. I was, for your benefit, trying to point out to you how you might gain for yourself a first-rate establishment, when you interrupted me with your ribald jests."

"Hang the establishment!" said Tom; "any one would think you were always getting your children into trade. I shall marry little Tryphie, if she'll have me. I'm not going to marry for money. Pretty sort of a fellow I look for making a brilliant match, don't I?"

"Oh, Tom, Tom, Tom," said her ladyship, bursting into tears, "you will break your poor mother's heart."

"Not I," said Tom, cynically; "it's not one of the heart-breaking sort.

But I say, you've made Diana miserable, and Maude half crazy, and now I hope you are happy. Tell you what, I shouldn't be at all surprised now if it's through you that Charley Melton is going to the bad. If so, you've done it and no mistake."

"I am surprised that your father allows you to talk to me like this,"

said her ladyship. "I never knew a son so wanting in respect."

"Dad's asleep; don't wake him," said Tom; "the old man's about tired out."

A snore from the easy-chair endorsed Tom's words, and he sat smiling at his mother, knowing from old experience that she would not go away till he had done criticising her conduct in his rough and ready style.

"I shudder when I think of poor Maude's escape," said her ladyship.

"Nothing could be more disgraceful than that young man's conduct. He sees at last though that he cannot marry Maude, and that it would be little short of a crime, so he--"

"Stands out of it," said Tom. "Hang me if I would, if any one was to try to cut in after Tryphie."

"Once for all, Tom," said her ladyship, "I desire that you cease that nonsensical talk about your cousin. Tryphie will marry when I select a husband for her."

"Oh, of course!" said Tom; "but look here--two can play at that game."

"Will you have the goodness to explain what you mean, sir?"

"Yes," said Tom, taking out and counting his money. "Let me see,--about two pounds ten, I should say. I dare say old Wilters would lend me a fiver, if I asked him."

"Tom," cried her ladyship, excitedly, "if you dared to do such a thing I should never survive the disgrace. For my sake don't ask him--at all events not yet. There, there," she cried hastily, "there's a five-pound note. Now, my dear boy, for your mother's and sister's sake, do not do anything foolish for twenty-four hours. Only twenty-four hours, I implore you."