Kung Fu Nuns Part 8

"I would if I could," said Chu.

"Come on, man, there's nothing really stopping you. I take it you come from wealth. Your family would be termed exploiters today, but the Communists wouldn't hold that against you, just for a visit. They've loosened up a bit."

"My family was and is extremely wealthy." Chu waved his arm around the room to indicate his possessions. "All of this, really, none of my doing. My father and grandfather put in all the hard work. Envelopes mainly. Printing presses. They controlled the market in South Asia. My company still does, with little help from me. Any one of my relatives would be welcomed back with open arms. I would be shot!"

"Why?"

"When I was in college, I thought I was a Communist. I returned to the homeland before discovering that Marx and Engels and I don't agree. I deserted the army and fled to Taiwan, and there was my princ.i.p.al problem."

"Your princ.i.p.al problem?" asked Uncle Ma.

"Much of my life has been dictated by my stiff Joy Stick. The homeland is rather puritanical. I thought like an ideologist, but f.u.c.ked like a landowner. Some of the girls were rather young." Chu took a long sip from the gla.s.s in his hand before continuing. "Do you mind if I do something extremely gross?"

"To a Kee nothing is gross."

After placing his drink carefully on the table that separated them, Chu rose and undid his belt. He then let his trousers fall to reveal that he had an immense, almost unnaturally large Joy Stick. He said, with a hint of apology in his voice, "Seeing is believing, and unless you saw this, you wouldn't put substance in the rest of what I'm about to say."

"It's the biggest I've ever encountered," said Uncle Ma, who couldn't believe the length and girth of the object before his eyes.

"It may come from an ancestor. A few generations ago there was a jungle man in our family. They say he was a missionary who was built like an ape. But that's not the point...."

"Just out of curiosity, does it get much larger when ..."

"I measured it. Three inches bigger."

"Your wife must be pleased."

"Pleased? She's blessed." Chu drew up his pants and removed the object from view. "It's really not that large," he said modestly. "It looks much bigger than it is because I'm a small man. But it's extremely large as far as Chinese Joy Sticks go. Now I ask you, would you ever guess that I had one that big?"

"Never!" said Uncle Ma.

"Good! Now I'm going to convince you that I f.u.c.ked a Shar Yip nun in the lobby of the Peninsula Hotel."

"As long as it wasn't at teatime, I see nothing remarkable in the act."

"It was at teatime, on a table by the entrance, on the left!"

"That I don't believe!" laughed Uncle Ma. "That isn't done. Not even by a Kee, although I doubt you'll ever find one in the Peninsula."

"Make your judgment after you hear what I have to say," said Chu. "Okay?"

After Uncle Ma nodded in the affirmative, Chu said, "I was sitting there reading the newspaper when one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen entered the hotel. All eyes were on her. When she pa.s.sed my table, she said something in a dialect which I took to be Northwest Mandarin. I wasn't even sure that she was addressing me until it suddenly dawned on me that she had said, 'Small man, big c.o.c.k.'

"My first reaction was that I might have f.u.c.ked her before, or she was a friend of a woman that I had f.u.c.ked, but she was a total stranger. I couldn't imagine that she was that perceptive, and she was so well attired and so well put together, I couldn't conceive of her being a wh.o.r.e. I tried not to stare, but she was deliriously beautiful, and I couldn't keep my eyes off her. My waiter, who had been at the hotel for years, hadn't the slightest idea who she was. I waited a while to make sure that she wasn't being joined by someone, and then sent a bottle of good champagne to her table."

"Rather gauche for the Peninsula at three in the afternoon."

"I know. But I was mesmerized. I couldn't think of anything else to do."

"I would have just walked across the room and introduced myself," said Uncle Ma.

"There was a problem."

"A problem?"

"The object I just let you have a look at. The seams on my trousers were about to burst. It was a hot day and I was wearing a light silk suit. I did think of proceeding across the room holding a menu in front of me, but I didn't want to appear silly."

"Did that happen often when you were younger? It did for me, but without such noticeable results."

"This was entirely different. It was as if she had projected her mouth clear across and her tongue was busily at work on my Golden Orbs."

"And," said Uncle Ma, "the teatime menus at the Peninsula are just little cards. They wouldn't do at all."

"Precisely! I just had to sit there and keep my hands from drifting downwards. I could have sort of exercised it against the underside of the table or the cloth of my pants, but the resulting stain would have even more embarra.s.sing than the bulge itself."

"You showed great control."

"For a while. That is, until she was served the champagne and took a sip. My next move was to ask her to join me. But before I got to it, she took a writing brush and an ink stone out of her handbag and wrote a note which the waiter brought to me. 'Good!' I thought. 'Now if my problem would only relax long enough for me to book a suite upstairs so she and I could have some privacy.' But when I read the note I was stunned. It was written on the finest silk paper in ancient rice line characters, the calligraphy excellent. Hot and educated! I couldn't believe it. I was sure that my trousers would split."

"You read rice line?" asked Uncle Ma enviously.

"Not well, not at that time, anyway, but well enough to digest the gist of her message."

"Which was?"

"Let's f.u.c.k, big c.o.c.k. Of course her 'f.u.c.k' and 'c.o.c.k' were so free-form that I couldn't decipher them, but the ideograms for 'let's' and 'big' were clear enough," Tommy Chu continued. "I nodded across the room to her in a.s.sent and was prepared to send her a note explaining my predicament, when she rose and crossed to my table."

"You said, 'Pardon me for not rising, but I'm already risen.'"

"I didn't have the opportunity to. She reached down and placed her hand on my erection."

"In full view?" asked Uncle Ma.

"In full view of everybody in the lobby of the Peninsula Hotel at teatime! I stammered and said, 'Let's chat and then I'll see about a room upstairs.' She said, 'Why wait?' dropped down to her knees, and undid my fly without using her hands; lips and tongue, that's all."

"Not unusual," said Uncle Ma, wondering if Tommy Chu was a little more than just dotty.

"Not unusual? I'm not discussing zippers. I'm talking six recalcitrant b.u.t.tons."

"What was the general reaction? The habitues at the Peninsula at teatime are blase, but not that blase."

"No one seemed to notice. When I remarked, 'This is a bit out of place,' she replied, 'They can't see us. I have certain powers!' There was nothing I could do at that moment but fall into the spirit of things. I thought my Golden Orbs would discharge immediately. I begged her to ease up. She was absolutely the best b.l.o.w.j.o.b I had ever encountered. She replied, 'Nothing's going to happen unless I want it to happen.' She applied a technique the Shar Yips call Dragon-Swallowing-the-Serpent, which is a tantalizing method of pulling a c.o.c.k deep into the back of the throat while simultaneously sucking. I screamed with ecstasy, but still didn't discharge."

"And your screams went unnoticed by the other patrons?" asked Uncle Ma.

"Totally unnoticed, although in my lucid periods I expected the police to arrive at any moment. I prayed that they did not, however, until I entered her totally, because a woman with a mouth as educated as hers must have possessed a Mystic Place of unusual talents, and I was determined to experience them. When I could stand the pleasure no longer, she lifted me bodily out of my chair and sat me down on top of the table. She then lifted her skirt. The sight of her almost perfect legs clad in white stockings and a pet.i.te garter belt further mesmerized me. I lean particularly toward white garter belts. Just the thought of them is enough to bring me to full erection. Anyway, she mounted me astraddle and caught the very tip of my Joy Stick with the lips of her v.a.g.i.n.a which had muscles I didn't know existed. She toyed with it for at least a quarter of an hour before drawing it, spasmodically, fully into herself."

"The whole length?"

"Her Mystic Place possessed such extraordinary strength that I thought my Golden Orbs would follow, and the whole works would be torn from its moorings. I know it sounds unbelievable, but at her direction, we a.s.sayed almost every s.e.xual position imaginable."

Tommy Chu continued with his tale. "Her Mystic Place was mighty strong, with the power to suck much as a mouth would. Thus, as I was inside her, she seemed to be swallowing my Joy Stick at all times. She was spread quite far apart and seemed to be double-jointed or super flexible, in such a way that she could move her Mystic Place to greet me in even the oddest positions. I could swear that the lips of her opening were like those of a serpent or beast that had strong drawing powers, for the lips seemed to be locked around my rod. I would move in and out, yes, but could never pull too far away, for she would suck me right back in.

"And after a while, she allowed me to visit those sweet pink lips with my tongue, and when I ventured to press it into the hot, wet s.p.a.ce of her female self, I again experienced that deep suction, whereupon she attempted to draw my tongue in as deeply as she had my d.i.c.k. I was in her up to my teeth and nose, and, I swear, she would have taken more had she not noticed that I was struggling to breathe. Suddenly, she spread herself so wide open that her legs seemed way up behind her head, and her Mystic Place became a totally accessible and sweet, harmless opening. At that point, she allowed me to lick and stroke and suck those parts, and gave to me the blessing of a creamy emission, said to give the recipient a great, youthful glow. We f.u.c.ked once more after that."

"Still arrayed on the top of the table in the lobby of the Peninsula Hotel at teatime?"

Tommy Chu nodded, "For almost two full hours at teatime. The place was packed. It was, to say the least, the most rewarding, if not the most unusual, experience of my life. When it was over I felt at least ten years younger. She dismounted, let her skirt drop down to cover her gorgeous legs and that most enticing combination of garter belt and white stockings. I was unable to move. Poking me playfully, she said, 'Get down and b.u.t.ton up. I must break the spell. They'll be able to notice.'"

"Spell?" asked Uncle Ma.

"The Cloak of Invisibility, a basic Shar Yip technique. Of course, I knew nothing about the order or their Monastery with Three Entrances at the time. The name of the technique came to me when I began my research."

Uncle Ma laughed, and then said, "Even if you fantasized the whole experience, it was a worthwhile accomplishment. The borders of my mind do not expand that much even in my most secret hours."

"Yes, I thought it was all a fantasy, but learned later it wasn't."

"You saw her again?" asked Uncle Ma.

"Never! That was the first and only time. She seated herself. We finished the bottle of Piper-Heidsieck, chatted, and then when I turned my head for a moment to greet a banker friend of mine, Wally Loon, she was gone. Actually, Wally insisted that I join him and his wife at their table. Still shaken from the experience, I did. I even said to myself, 'My! What a daydream!' That is until Wally whispered into my ear, 'You're not b.u.t.toned up correctly, old chap. And, there's a bit of lipstick showing. Not quite proper for the Peninsula at teatime. You should be a bit more careful in exercising your prize possession while wearing whites.'"

Tommy Chu continued: "I asked, 'Wally, old man, you didn't happen to have noticed that woman I was sitting with?'"

"'Of course! You didn't introduce us....'

"'I mean, notice anything unusual?'

"'She was quite well put together for her age.'

"'Her age?'

"Wally thought for a moment and then said, 'You didn't avail yourself of a b.l.o.w.j.o.b here, under the table, during high tea, did you?'

"His wife, who had been listening all along, commented, 'Tommy, how gross! At the Cafe Expresso in the Hilton, yes. Here, no!'

"Looking at her husband, she said, 'I think Tommy is putting you on. He likes young girls and that woman was rather along in years.'

"It was at that moment," said Tommy Chu, "that the face of the woman I had just f.u.c.ked formed fully in my mind's eye. I realized then that she was very old. Much older than any other female I had ever experienced. The figure and face of a young beauty, but the eyes of a grandmother. Wally said, 'She's very well put together for a woman of fifty!' His wife remarked, 'She hasn't seen fifty in a decade. I wonder how she does it?' I made up some story about her being a business acquaintance and tried to change the subject of the conversation, determined never to mention the incident again, lest I be thought crazy."

Tommy stood and refreshed Uncle Ma's drink. Taking a deep breath he said, "It troubled me. I was worried about my sanity! When fantasy gets too close to reality you're in trouble. My father was still with us then. I dined with him on the patio at the Repulse Bay Hotel every Thursday. He was in a jovial mood. I got up enough nerve to tell him about the incident. The old man laughed and said, 'Lucky boy! You f.u.c.ked a Shar Yip! I always dreamed of sticking my Joy Stick into one.'"

Tommy Chu then said, "That's when I first learned about the monks and their order. My father was well versed in the subject. He said the woman could have been close to a hundred. Shar Yips reach their peak at that age."

Uncle Ma couldn't accept what he had just heard as actuality, although he liked the man who was entertaining him in the Repulse Bay Road apartment. "So, hence, a lifelong fascination with the subject."

"If the opportunity presented itself, I would spend the rest of my life at the Monastery with Three Entrances, but fate has ordained otherwise. I study every face in the crowd, but not since then have I seen one that reflected the powers of the woman I had, or rather, who had me, in the lobby of the Peninsula at teatime. I envy you! You're going to the monastery. They may accept you. You may find pleasure beyond all your expectations."

"I have already experienced pleasure beyond all my expectations and quite recently. If I get as far as the monastery, I will be sure to plead your cause."

"By just saying that, you've made a friend for life. And now, down to a more practical subject. Have you made plans for the evening?"

"The finest seafood restaurant in town, or Peking Duck, if you and your wife prefer. On me, of course."

Tommy Chu replied, "I was thinking of plans of a more intimate nature. I've lived most of my life on this small island. I have access to pleasures a stranger may not be aware of."

"There are few forms of enjoyment that Kees are unaware of," replied Uncle Ma.

"I'm thinking about arts a bit too sophisticated for Black Families!"

"True! They don't usually think beyond b.l.o.w.j.o.bs. But the Cantonese? Hong Kong! The wh.o.r.es are uninspired."

Tommy Chu patted Uncle Ma on the shoulder. "I am unable to fulfill my fantasy of becoming a Shar Yip, but I may help you resolve one of your own. Is there anything special? You need not be afraid to ask."

Uncle Ma blushed. "There isn't much I haven't done. Everything except boys. They never really interested me."

"If they had interested me, I could have made a fortune with my particular piece of equipment. Please? There must be one deep, little secret hidden in your Golden Orbs?"

"Well," said Uncle Ma, "I'm rather fond of Western women. Americans! I've had some. All professionals! But you know, not as young as I would like." His voice raised an octave and he asked in the manner of a teenager, "But that sort of thing isn't available here in Hong Kong--long-legged blondes of about eighteen or nineteen?"

A thin, tight smile appeared on Tommy Chu's lips. "Plaid skirts and blue blazers with the school emblem on the breast pocket?"

Now blushing uncontrollably, Uncle Ma said, "Surely such an opportunity doesn't exist here. I've never heard of such. Well? I would be interested! Very interested!"

"I'll tell my wife we'll be dining out, but let me warn you, it will be rather expensive."

"How expensive?" asked Uncle Ma, barely able to stifle a belly laugh brought on by the thought that he was quite capable of spending the Old Boss's ill-earned million on his own pleasures.

"Three thousand Hong Kong dollars!"

Uncle Ma took no time in replying, "It would be a worthy investment. The fantasy."

"I'll make a telephone call and see it can be arranged. Lillian should be having an early dinner with her parents at the American Club tonight."

"Lillian?" said Uncle Ma. "I'd rather prefer a Jane or a Debbie."

"Lillian is the madam!"

"Oh, it's organized?"

"Well organized!" said Tommy Chu.

CHAPTER SIX.