My Soul Will Find Yours 79 I'm Too Old For This But Who Cares!?

Kaname just stared at me with a lazy grin before continuing to drown in alcohol. I took a deep breath and went to the futon, talking to him would be a waste of time. Might as well sleep so I could recuperate faster.

As I was positioning myself in the mattress, my wound started to hurt. When Ryuko-san applied some sort of balm to it while she was a.s.sisting me in the bath earlier, she mentioned that the salve will cause my wound to sting as the balm heals it. I patted my scalp to try to sooth the discomfort to no avail. After much squirming and a bit of tossing, I finally fell asleep.

~~~

I woke up to someone whispering to my ears, I opened my eyes to find myself wrapped in Kaname's vine-like embrace. I stiffened, his touch was an unwelcome surprise.

"Don't leave me, Hinata," he mumbled. "I will do anything to make you forgive me. I was wrong to hurt you. Hahaue told me to never hurt the woman I love but I hurt you. I love you, Hinata. I love you. Forgive me."

"K-kaname?" I tried to turn but then I remembered my wound. He also tightened his arms around me, making it impossible.

"Hinata, I love you. In this world and in my next lives, you're the only woman I'll give my heart to," he continued to mumble. "I love you, my love. Please forgive me."

I didn't say anything, my chest felt heavy and I felt like I was running out of air. As I surrendered to my tears, I tried to m.u.f.fle my sobs by covering my mouth. After a while, I heard Kaname's soft snores. His drunken ramblings felt like nails being hammered into my heart. The pain and regret that were reflected in them pierced it mercilessly. This whole thing was tearing him apart, too.

"I love you, too, Kaname. I still do... But I still can't forgive you right now," I whispered when I've calmed down a bit, my voice shaky. "Just give me time. I hope you can wait. I want you to give me the s.p.a.ce that I need but at the same time I want you to be by my side as I heal from this pain… I'm hopeless, aren't I?"

I continued to sob in his arms so I didn't notice that his snores have stopped. When he spoke, I was surprised.

"Alright, I will give you the s.p.a.ce you need. But… I also don't want to be away from you, Hinata. That's why I drank more than I am capable of so I could throw away all the shame I have and come here even when you told me that you don't want me around."

I felt his warm lips on my nape. "I will not touch you in daylight, but please let me touch your skin like this in the evenings. I feel cold when you're not with me."

My tears continued to fall, I couldn't say anything at the moment.

"Please stop crying, my beloved," he soothed. "As the person responsible for your pain, I will do whatever it takes to stop it. I will not betray you ever again. I will protect you with all my might. I swear on my life and on the name of my parents that I will not commit the same mistakes again."

~~~

I woke up the next day with the blanket covering me snugly, which was odd since I normally wake up to find it just covering my stomach area. As I got up slowly, I remembered the oath Kaname whispered to me last night. I placed a hand on my chest, it wasn't as heavy as when I finally opened my eyes yesterday.

He was gone, of course. His futon has already been rolled up and stored in the cabinet. Still yawning, I went to the bath to relieve my full bladder to officially start my day.

~~~

"Ryuko-san, I'm hung—" I started to say but immediately stopped when I saw the pile of doc.u.ments on one low table and the waiting breakfast on the other.

I furrowed my brows and gave Nanami and Tsubaki a questioning stare. Both maids avoided my eyes and hurriedly excused themselves. I frowned. I went to the table with the papers to try and read it so I could answer my own unspoken question. When I saw the gold seal that was Kaname's, I immediately understood what was going on.

"I intend to make my beautiful wife's room as my little nakoku," his words from last night explained everything.

"Just how many rules is this man willing to break?" I muttered to myself although I was oddly elated. I sighed inwardly, I am such a softy.

Suddenly, the main shoji opened and in came Kaname with Yoko and Aya. The two maids were each carrying a stack of doc.u.ments. I gaped when my elfin made Megumi followed them with his brushes, inkwells, and stamp pad.

"Place them here," he ordered my maids while gesturing to the low table. He then turned his attention to me to say, "Ohayou, Hina."

"G-good morning," I replied.

"Are you hungry? I asked Ryuko-san to prepare your favorites."

"Yes," my stomach grumbled to support my claim. I didn't eat much last night, but now I'm so hungry I could probably finish two servings of rice.

"The timing is perfect then," he nodded to the maids. "Lady Hinata have her breakfast in her room, I'll just eat here."

When the maids were about to take my share of the meal as Kaname instructed, I signaled for them to stop. "I-I'll eat here, too," I sat ungracefully on the cushion. "I'm too hungry to go back to my room." I added lamely, my room is but a few steps away!

I saw Kaname purse his lips to try to hide his smile. He was obviously happy with my decision. We would be eating together, my heart warmed at the thought. Our eyes met when he sat opposite me. I didn't look away and neither did he. Instead, he took his chopsticks and flashed me a smile that, in the words of shoujo manga and anime characters, made my heart go doki doki. My stomach was suddenly full… Full of b.u.t.terflies.

'I'm too old for this but what the h.e.l.l, who cares!?' I screamed in my head before grabbing my own eating utensils.

"Itadakimasu," he said before popping some rice into his mouth.