My Soul Will Find Yours 59 You Took It The Wrong Way

I took huge mouthfuls of air as I tried to calm myself but coupled with the effects of the drug and the stress I was currently experiencing, my mind was shutting itself down. I fought to maintain my consciousness and failed. A different form of darkness engulfed me as I succ.u.mbed to nothingness.

~~~

When I came to, my lids as well as my limbs felt heavy. With my eyes still shut closed, I tried to have a 'feel' of my surroundings. The air in my current location was filled with the aroma of a calming incense, its scent lingered in my nose pleasantly, reminding me of a modern day spa. Probably only a few steps from where I was, someone was playing a string instrument. The tune was tinged with melancholy, oddly reminding me of a man yearning for his beloved.

My body slowly regained mobility; when I was finally able to, I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was a complexly painted ceiling. The scene depicted an abstract painting with strokes, dots, swirls, and dashes. I cautiously moved my head to where the music was coming from; to my left, a man with his hair swept in a messy bun was strumming an instrument I was not familiar with. Although his back was facing me, I immediately knew who he was.

"anata…" I called out, my voice sounded raspy.

I saw him stiffen, his fingers that were adjusting one of the k.n.o.bs at the tip of the instrument's handle stopped mid-twist. He turned around, his face covered with guilt. "Hinata," he got up and walked towards me. "I'm sorry, my love. I shouldn't have let this happen."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?" I lifted a hand to touch his face.

"How are you feeling?" his eyes frosted over and his nose flared when he saw the bruise that was starting to show on my wrist. "Where else does it hurt?"

"Thirsty," I croaked. "My throat feels parched."

"I'll be back, wait here," he got up and left the room, his strides were long and determined.

I looked around and realized I was inside a huge bedroom. Its size was the combined floor area of my bedroom, parlor, and bath. Everywhere I looked, the room screamed of elegance and aristocracy. A few minutes later, Kaname came back with Taneyuki-san and a young boy who was carrying a container of water and porcelain cups. He helped me sit up and poured me a cup of water. I gave him a grateful look before downing it. The cool liquid felt good on my throat.

"Better?" he asked softly while running his fingers through my loose hair.

I nodded and suddenly, I was overcome by fear and anxiety as I remembered what happened before I pa.s.sed out. Recalling the helplessness I felt when the box closed caused my eyes to sting. "K-kaname…"

His face paled when he saw the look of anguish on my face. He hurriedly gathered me in his arms and enveloped me in a comforting hug. "Shh… Don't cry, you're safe now…"

I heard the door slide open then close as his right hand and the young boy left the room. Only then did I cry in his arms until I ran out of tears to shed. "Scared… I was so scared, my love."

He broke our hug to wipe my tearstained face with his fingers. "Forgive me. I didn't mean for it to happen that way. Those two went too far."

I looked at him with questioning eyes. He looked away and when his eyes made contact with mine once more, they looked pained.

"I instructed my shadow guards to bring you here in the nakoku," he started to explain. "I told them to escort you here without anyone else noticing but the d.a.m.n b.a.s.t.a.r.ds mistook my instructions for kidnapping! Yes, I told them to be careful because you are skilled in martial arts and will surely take them on when you sense danger but I never told them to drug you and smuggle you into my quarters using a kimono chest!"

I stared at him in disbelief. Those two men were his people!? "You mean…"

He pinched the bridge if his nose. "Yes. I am the person behind your abduction."

The room fell into silence before I felt something within me click. "What is wrong with your brain!?" I hissed. "I was so scared! The experience was traumatizing! I might not be able to board an elevator once again because of you!"

"Let me explain…"

"You're an a.s.shole, do you know that!?" I tried to avoid his hands but they still successfully captured my face.

"When I got your note informing me of your predicament with Ayaka, I automatically started to plan. I didn't like your idea, I didn't want to spend each of my visits with the three of you respectively. Ayaka bores me to death and her constant fawning makes me uncomfortable."

I looked at him with open disdain. There is something seriously wrong with the way he thinks…

"Since you have decided to give way to my other wives and stay away from me during two of my three daily visits, I got angry and wanted to punish you. I deliberately visited Mami these past few days and ignored you. Of course, I didn't want to spend my evenings in the inner palace with her as she and I already have a mutual agreement, so I forced myself to sleep here until you've learned your lesson."

"You f.u.c.king idiot!" I yelled at him in English.

"Don't forget you're in the presence of the shogun," he peered at me disapprovingly. "Although I don't understand what you just said, I know you were swearing at me."

"Shut up!" I was fuming mad. I stood up and continued coldly, "Kaname, you need to get your head checked!"

"I was angry at you!" he yelled back. "You were actually willing to give me away just like that!"

"That was because I am part of a d.a.m.ned harem! Your d.a.m.ned harem!" I pointed a quivering finger to myself, I was so angry I was shaking. "I wanted to help you exercise fairness but you took it the wrong way! Do you know how painful it is for me to have to share you with others!? Do you have any idea how mentally and emotionally tiring it was for me to banish the thoughts of you and Mami making love!?"

I felt a huge lump on my throat. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes once more. "When my ex cheated on me with another woman, I swore to myself that my next relationship would be different. I swore that I'll be the only woman in my future man's life... But I met you and I fell in love with you… I willingly gave myself to you despite the fact that I'll always be just your concubine. I will never be your official wife."

When he heard my words, the anger in his vanished and understanding dawned on him. "Forgive me for being childish. My lady, I feel like I haven't been my rational self ever since I met you in the forest. I used to think before I act but now all I do is react."

I looked away and hugged myself. I don't regret loving him, it's just that I don't understand why fate would put the both if us in this situation. He hugged me from behind, his familiar scent squeezed my heart painfully.

"Hinata," he rested his chin at the top of my head. "You have fair driven me mad. My head is filled with thoughts of you. I always want you beside me."

I didn't say anything. I knew he still had more to say.

"Please forgive me for my actions. Truly, I never meant for my guards to put you in such a scarring situation. I have punished them severely, I a.s.sure you they have already learned their lesson," he paused, letting what he just said sink in. "I brought you here so I could be with you without the other two knowing. Starting tomorrow, you may accompany me to my meetings with the bureaucrats and be with me in my occasional visits to the city. You will be disguising as a man the entire time, of course, but once we're alone you will return to playing the role of my beloved wife again."