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"I don't want you to worry, James. I'm going to make sure you're taken care of. I know with the way your mind works, that must sound sinister, but you're just going to have to live with it."
"You're only worried 'cause I owe you money."
He ignores this and points to my stomach.
"You're still leaking. You need to keep pressure on the wound."
"I'm not made of rubber. I've got the front, but I can't reach the hole in back."
He gets up and comes around the table.
"Turn around so I can see your back."
I slide around and feel him press one of the throw pillows against the wound.
"I'm b.l.o.o.d.y and drunk and a strange man is holding a pillow over me. It's like summer camp all over again."
"You did a good job tonight. You saw the attack coming before I did. I hope you know how embarra.s.sing that is for me."
"It'll be our little secret."
"A century ago, I wouldn't have missed it."
"A century ago, they'd have been coming by steamboat and horse-drawn buggies. Helen Keller wouldn't have missed it."
Someone steps through the clock with a leather satchel in his hand. It's an old man in a wrinkled shirt and a severe case of bed hair.
Lucifer barks at the old man.
"You took your time, you old fool."
"Ich schlief. Es tut mir leid, mein herr."
"Take care of his wounds."
The old man nods and sets his bag on the table as Lucifer goes back to his chair. I start to take off the jacket, but Dr. Allwissend waves at me to stop. He takes an oversize cutthroat razor from his bag and, with a couple of smooth Jack the Ripper slashes, cuts the jacket and shirt so he can lift them right off me. I wouldn't want to be dating this guy's daughter. He wipes the blood from my wounds and takes some bottles from his bag. He spreads them on the table and begins mixing a potion.
"So, which one of them did it?" I ask.
"Which one?"
I look over the doctor's shoulder so I can see him.
"Which one of everyone who hates your guts set you up? Mason? Aelita? Some civilian who doesn't want his soul on a hook in a h.e.l.lion butcher shop? Maybe Bruce Willis is scared your movie will be bigger than his?"
"You're hilarious. I have no idea."
"Guess."
"Not Mason. He wouldn't have done it like that. He would have gone for something more ... baroque. Winged snakes. Fire from the sky."
"Yeah. Lizzie Borden with a death ray stuff."
"Exactly."
"At first I thought it was the Vigil, but-and don't get offended, I'm just the messenger-you're not on Aelita's radar. She thinks you're all buggy whips and syphilis. Quaint old antiques."
"Lucky me."
"That only leaves one candidate. Someone at the party. A Sub Rosa?"
"How's that?"
"Who else knew where you were going tonight?"
"Just you and Kasabian."
"Kasabian didn't know when you were leaving. If I was the one who arranged the hit, I could have just let those guys take you. That means either I arranged to get myself shot again or it was someone else."
"There were a lot of people at the party. Including civilians."
"Yeah, but how many of them have the contacts to arrange a hit like that? They came at you with nonlethals, so they wanted you alive. That means someone has the contacts to set up a s.n.a.t.c.h-and-grab that size and the b.a.l.l.s to think that they can hold you. That doesn't sound like a civilian to me. At least not a civilian on his own."
"I don't imagine they wanted ransom. Whom would they ransom me to?"
"One of your generals? Mason? G.o.d?"
Lucifer laughs.
"If Father wanted me, he wouldn't send a SWAT team. A rain of toads or plague of locusts, maybe, but not children in ninja pajamas."
"What about a civilian who wants his or her soul back?"
"Hmm."
The doctor pours the potion he's put together into his hands and smears it on my wounds. It's thick and smells like diesel oil. From a battered wooden box he pulls a couple of fat, glistening beetles. Puts one on my stomach and the other on my back. They start eating the oil.
"s.h.i.t!"
I try to twist away, but the doctor grabs me.
"Nicht bewegen."
"He's telling you not to move," says Lucifer.
"Being shot is one thing. Bug food's another."
"Be quiet and take your medicine like a good boy."
As the beetles eat the oil, they nibble the dead skin around my wounds, leaving a filament behind. When they're done, both wounds are closed with a kind of thick spiderweb patch.
The doctor puts his beetles away and says something to Lucifer.
"He says that you've already stopped bleeding internally and that you won't even have scars. He says that all your scars, including the burn on your arm, are healing very nicely."
"Does he know any way to stop them?"
Lucifer says something to Allwissend. The doctor looks at me and laughs.
"I know. Only an idiot doesn't want to heal. Forget it," I say.
After the doctor puts away his tools, he and Lucifer talk for a couple of minutes. Allwissend looks at me and nods a good-bye.
Lucifer takes two Maledictions, lights both, and hands me one.
"To answer your question, I don't know which Sub Rosa or civilian would want to kidnap me. If they're working for one of my enemies, why not just kill me? I'd go straight back to h.e.l.l, to where whatever general hired them could pick me off."
"What about the missing guy, Spencer Church? Do you own his soul?"
"No, I'm not sure I even met the man."
"Seems like there's other people around town missing. It's practically all Lurkers at Bamboo House. Do you know anything about that?"
"No."
Now that my right side feels better, I can feel my neck and the pins and needles on my left side more.
"You need to be careful. And you need more help than just me. Who else do you have here?" I ask.
"I'll make some calls. But until this is resolved, I'll be doing most of my business from this suite."
"Good, 'cause I think I'm going to want tomorrow off."
"Of course. We can stay in touch by phone and through Kasabian. Let's talk and I'll let you know when I need you again."
I pick up the shirt the doctor sliced up.
"Can I borrow something to wear?"
Lucifer gets up and goes to the bedroom. It lets me get a good look at him and confirm what I thought I saw earlier.
He comes back and drops a pile of neatly folded silk dress shirts onto the table.
"Take whichever you like. Take a few extras, too."
I go through the pile shirt by shirt, dropping each one onto the table.
"You like these colors, don't you? Black, dark reds, and purples."
"Why do you ask?"
"They're good colors for hiding blood. You're bleeding, aren't you?"
He stares at me for a while. Long enough that I start to wonder if I've finally said the wrong thing and he's going to have to tip the maid extra to peel my skull off the ceiling. Eventually, he nods.
"Yes, I am."
"But you didn't get hurt tonight. You always wear these colors, so I'm thinking you've had the wound for a while."
He smiles.
"Keep going. You're impressing me."
"That's why you're here and not in h.e.l.l. You got hurt in a tussle with one of your generals who went bad on you, but you don't want anyone to know. It's better to come up here and play an egomaniac d.i.c.k than it is to stay Downtown and hide all the blood."
He c.o.c.ks his head and puffs his Malediction.
"Not bad. You're not entirely right, but you're closer than I thought you'd get."
"What did I get wrong?"
"No one in h.e.l.l did this to me. I received these wounds in Heaven."
Lucifer stands and opens his shirt. Most of his body, from his waist to his chest, is wrapped in linen bandages. Here and there, yellow lymph and blood have soaked through. There's a large b.l.o.o.d.y patch near his heart. That's the blood I noticed earlier.
"There are some things even an angel can't endure. A father's disapproval is one." He sits down and winces. "His thunderbolts are another."
He b.u.t.tons his shirt.
"You think you were scarred in the arena? You should have seen my face before the surgeons had their way with me. Of course, in those days we had no medicines or medical instruments in h.e.l.l. My doctors attended to me with obsidian knives chipped from the walls and slivers of sword blades that had fallen from Heaven with us."
"You've always been like this. The whole time you've been in h.e.l.l?"
"Daddy showed me the door with a face full of fire."
"Do your generals know you're hurt?"
"They fought beside me. Of course they know."
"If they know, that means Mason knows."
"I suppose so."
"The wound is getting worse, isn't it? It's bleeding more than it used to and you had to leave to hide it. What happened? Did you get hexed?"
Lucifer gestures at the table.
"Pick a shirt and get dressed."