Katherine Katt: Universal Alien Part 38

IT WAS A GOOD THING I was a fast talker and Alfred, being an A-C, could hear at hyperspeed, because there was a lot of ground to cover. By the time I was done, I was hoa.r.s.e and he was both happier and sadder than he'd been before. But he was also angry. And, as I'd been learning for the past few years, anger could be a very good, powerful, and motivating emotion.

"Whatever I can do to help you stop this madman, I'll do. And I'll do what I can to help you get back home afterward. Your world sounds . . . so much better than this one."

"It is in some ways." Looked at c.o.x and Stripes and thought about Charlie and Max. "And in some ways this one is better. But what I want is to ensure that the Mastermind doesn't get to do to Earth what your father did to Alpha Four."

"Are you advocating murdering him?" Alfred asked.

"I'm fairly sure that before we have that option he's going to have a weapon pointed at people we care about, or innocents, or both, and we're not going to have that particular moral quandary. I am advocating not letting him or LaRue live long enough to create the cloning process that I'm sure they're working on."

"Incarceration isn't an option?" Alfred didn't sound hopeful so much as he seemed to be checking off boxes in his head.

"No. The problem every government has, that plays right into the League of Evil Geniuses' hands, is that when you have a brilliant mind in captivity, you want to get what you can from said mind. But that just means the bad guys are creating escape plans, takeover plans, and turn-the-tables plans. And they win more often than not, in part because there are always evil people scattered throughout every government and they can smell their own."

"So a straight fight is likely out," Alfred said.

"Yes, and more than that, we don't want either you or me landing in their hands, because the moment Cliff or LaRue realize that, for this world, we're superheroes, they will do all the things you're afraid the various Earth governments will do to you, only more so, with a great deal of horrific glee, and as drawn out and painfully as possible."

Alfred shuddered. "Let's not allow that to happen."

"We need a plan," c.o.x said. "Beyond terrifying Alfred. Because I'm supposed to report to my new post in a couple of hours, and I don't know if I should or not."

"Until we know where Cliff and LaRue are holed up, we have an entire world to search. And, hyperspeed and the tunnels or not, Alfred and I can't search all of Earth in a couple of hours. Without gate technology, I'm not sure that we can safely get off the continent."

Harlie mewled. "Hush," Alfred said gently.

"No, go on, Harlie."

"Excuse me?" c.o.x said.

"Oh, right. I left out one specific superpower I have. I'm kind of Doctor Doolittle."

"In addition to being Wolverine?"

"Yeah. But that's not important now. I mean, it is, because Harlie thinks it can find where Cliff hides out."

"How?" c.o.x asked flatly. "And I'm asking because if you have these things in your world, why haven't they found your Mastermind already and dealt with him?"

"They're not really from . . . around here. And by that I mean they aren't from Alpha Four, either. Alfred, you probably don't know this, but the Poofs are from the Black Hole Universe. And therefore they have abilities we don't. But their original owner is a Free Will Fanatic, to put it mildly. And in order for an individual to have free will, other individuals can't do everything for our first individual, or they're taking said free will away."

Both men stared at me. "That seems like a tenuous reason," Alfred said finally.

"Well, there's more to it. In my world, just killing the Mastermind won't solve anything. Remember that cloning stuff I told you about? Kill him, they just make a new one and Leventhal Reid takes over again. We may have blown up their facility, but I guarantee they're back in action somewhere else, because Reid and LaRue got away." Couldn't repress the shudder. "I'll take our current Mastermind over Reid. I'll take anyone over Reid."

"Let's get back to what the Poof said," c.o.x suggested. "How could it find someone Alfred's never seen?"

"Well, Harlie could go with you to meet Cliff."

"Yes, but that won't solve it," Alfred said. "You said yourself you have no idea how long you'll be here before whatever put you here will send you home. You have a small commando force, if we can even call three people and two animals that. We can't afford to take our time-we may not have much of it left."

"I'm open to suggestions, Alfred. You're the scientific genius, not me. I'm Megalomaniac Girl, not Science Woman."

Alfred c.o.c.ked his head at me. "Okay. Then . . . if you were this person, in this world, with all the restrictions humans have-in other words, the world you thought you were in before you met . . . my son-where would you base your secret stronghold?"

"Great question. Gimme a mo and lemme ponder. Okay, so Cliff has to show up at Langley on a regular basis. So while a country like Belarus sounds all promising and such, as does the country of Corporation origin, otherwise known as Cuba, somewhere outside of the U.S. seems unwieldy and therefore unlikely."

"I thought you said you were going to ponder," Alfred said politely.

"Oh, sorry. This is how I ponder. Out loud. So you all get to share in the wonder that is my mental process. Full transparency, that's me. Some people pay money for this opportunity."

"Your universe must be starved for entertainment, ma'am."

"Careful, Bill. Stripes can take over the sidekick role and reduce you to mascot in a New York Minute. And while New York seems like a great choice, I doubt that Cliff's holed up there-it's just too crowded and s.p.a.ce is at too much of a premium. And neither he nor Reid had the Corporation's resources until recently."

"Millions of people all on top of each other means that you're more likely to be spotted somehow," Alfred agreed.

"Right. So, somewhere with more, if not s.p.a.ce, then privacy, and fewer potential prying eyes. Cliff has to have a residence in D.C., but he's in the C.I.A., so there's no way that he's leaving clues here for his coworkers to discover. But Chuckie, known here as Charles, has two homes, on either side of the world. Presumably because he's using the jet-setting lifestyle as his main cover."

"Makes sense, if the Current Sidekick is allowed to chime in on the 'pondering session,' ma'am."

"Chime away, Lunatic Lad."

"I'm reporting into a division that is publicly facing, meaning that Goodman is unlikely to be doing the same kind of covert or clandestine ops that Chuckie known here as Charles is."

"Sarcasm is so unbefitting an officer and a gentleman, Bill."

"But you've made it an art form, ma'am, and I just want to represent."

"Fine, fine. And you're right, so that means that Cliff can't go too far afield whenever he wants to visit his Secret Lair of Evil, meaning he's probably chosen it on the East Coast somewhere. And he has to be somewhere that it's easy for him to deal with the Corporation's employees, both here and in Cuba."

Stopped and ran that sentence back in my head. "Oh. Wow. And I'll give myself the 'duh' on this one because Chuckie here known as Charles and Jeff aren't here to do it for me. He's freaking based out of Florida, isn't he?"

"Miami would be my guess, ma'am. He's from there originally, as was Leventhal Reid. Miami's got a huge Cuban population, and a ton of crime."

Considered this. "Miami is the obvious choice, right? So why does it feel wrong to me?"

"So, not Miami?" c.o.x asked. "Just to be sure that in the moment we've found the obvious answer you immediately think it's wrong."

"I have more experience with this kind of c.r.a.p. And I don't think Miami's right."

"Where then, and why not?" Alfred asked. "Because I'm with William-it seems like the most convenient choice."

"Extremely convenient," c.o.x said, sitting up straight. "So if I'm following Kitty's logic, he won't be based in Miami because it is obvious. He's smarter than that, right?"

"Right, because the first place you're going to look for whoever's running the Corporation is Miami, right?" Both men nodded. "But Cliff is a master chess player. And you don't win by being obvious, unless it's a feint that you're using to fool your opponent." Looked at Alfred. "This universe is closer to mine than I'd originally thought. So why wouldn't things be here that are there?"

"I'm not following you, I'm sorry," Alfred said.

"And it's only about five or six hours from where they live in my world to Miami. And there's plenty of ocean around that area and, once you're a little south of the Cape, there's an Air Force Base, which he could access with his C.I.A. credentials without issue."

"I'm with Alfred, ma'am. Not following you at all now."

"Well, guys it's like this-because I truly understand Ironic Justice, I'm betting I know exactly where Cliff's very large and very private estate happens to be."

CHAPTER 58.

"AND, as a sort of side benefit, you, Alfred, can see where your counterpart lives."

"If you say so." Alfred didn't sound convinced. "We can get to Florida fairly quickly, though, so it's worth it to look."

"I don't know that I can handle the hyperspeed that long, sir, and trooper though he is, I doubt the cat can, either."

"Oh, we're not going to be running," Alfred said. He stood. "However, you two should eat something before we go."

"I could probably find the will to force something down," I admitted.

c.o.x nodded. "I have nothing in my stomach and am finally at a point where eating doesn't sound horrible."

Alfred whipped up a rather nice couple of sandwiches using hyperspeed, and provided more food for Stripes and Harlie as well. c.o.x, the animals, and I all munched while Alfred bustled about, muttering to himself.

"You should eat, too, sir," c.o.x said.

"Oh, I already did. Hyperspeed, son, it's good for everything."

"You know, Alfred, the A-Cs on my world have to be taught from birth how to do things at human speeds. How did you learn?"

"Necessity is the mother of invention, Kitty."

"And panic is the father of ability. Yeah, right there with you."

"Is everyone done eating?" Nods and purrs to the affirmative were given. "Excellent. And now that you've eaten, both you and Stripes shouldn't have any issues with hyperspeed for at least a week, William."

"How so? I tossed an entire day's worth of food up when Kitty showed me what she could do earlier."

"I've created a powder that allows mammals to deal with supersonic speeds without issue. Originally created for NASA and various high-speed sports. I gave some to Kitty, too, because we're going to be going at supersonic speeds. You all just ingested it with your food, and don't worry, there are no side effects."

"I remain incredibly impressed." t.i.to had created Hyperspeed Dramamine on my world, it made sense that Alfred had done the same here.

"It's always nice to be appreciated. Now, let's get going." He handed me and c.o.x a set of facemasks each. They were similar to gas masks, but a lot less creepy. "Put those on, they'll protect your eyes and let you breathe normally." He produced similar for Stripes, who obliged and allowed the contraption to be affixed to his head. "Good kitty," Alfred said. "Such a brave boy."

"You have masks for cats just lying about?"

"Oh no," he said with a chuckle. "I put this one together while you were eating. Hyperspeed, you know."

I hadn't really noticed, but then I'd been focused on eating, so Alfred could have put an elephant together and I'd have missed it. "Gotcha. Doesn't Harlie need a mask?" I asked as Alfred put a mask on as well.

"No, Harlie has no issues with how we're going to travel. Earpieces in, we need to stay connected."

These were similar to what the bad guys wore in The Matrix, only they went into both ears and attached behind our heads, hooking into the masks, with a small transmitter connected to the tubes and masks sitting at the back of our heads. I could still hear everyone-in fact, I could hear more than just us, but it wasn't painful. Was glad I didn't care what my hair was going to look like once we took this gear off. However, we were essentially unrecognizable with this stuff on.

Completing our War Ensembles, Alfred handed each of us a ball of what appeared to be really slick black Silly Putty. "Smash them onto your chests."

c.o.x and I did so, and were instantly enveloped in a slick, lightweight bodysuit that went up to our necks, and covered everything else on our bodies, while still going over our clothes. Was glad I'd put my purse down before I'd gotten "dressed," but once we were suited up, I put it back over my neck.

The Coach bag wasn't nearly as incognito as what I usually carried, however. Alfred frowned at it, and put a tiny speck of the Super Silly Putty on the purse. It was covered the same way the rest of us were, and it now resembled the purse I was used to. I was good with this.

"What about Stripes?" Alfred was clearly prepping us for battle and I didn't want Stripes to have less protection than the rest of us.

"I can put this onto him as well, if he's willing."

Stripes meowed. "He wants to know what happens if he has an itch or the need to wash."

"He can scratch through the body armor, but I don't recommend licking it."

Stripes considered his options and meowed at me. "He's willing to give it a shot if you can take it off of him if he can't stand it."

"Yes, I can. It's easy to remove-you just peel it off."

c.o.x gave it a shot. "Not peeling for me, sir."

"Oh, well, you have to start at the neck and go down, William." Alfred said this as if it were totally obvious. Was glad c.o.x had taken one for the team and given it a try before I had.

c.o.x did as instructed and the suit rolled down. He let go and it slid back up into place. "Impressive, sir. What does it do?"

"It will protect us from the elements, including going faster than hyperspeed. It also repels projectiles. It can't stop all of them, but it's similar to Kevlar. Only the next iteration."

"The military and police force could use something like this," c.o.x said.

"In due time," Alfred said, concentrating on getting the suit onto Stripes.

"Meaning you sold them Kevlar already but you're not sure that you can trust the world with this improvement."

Alfred shot a smile at me. "Yes, exactly."

Looked at c.o.x. "Protecting Alfred and keeping him out of our enemies' hands is Job One."

"I agree, ma'am."