Just Breathe Part 11

At least the Wyldlings would be safe.

Chapter Fourteen.

Clouds converged and blackened the night shortly after Zoe and her team arrived home. Would they finally get some much-needed rain after this unseasonable heat? She took the impending storm as a sign she should call Gavin and at least tell him about Lily's decision.

Adriene caught her eye from the kitchen and gave a stiff nod. Zoe glanced at her watch. Seven o'clock. Gavin should be finished with band practice by now. She took out her cell with trembling hands and went into her bedroom.

"h.e.l.lo?" His voice was hollow, void of emotion. He had caller ID, so he must've known it was her. Maybe he didn't care. Maybe he was over her. Would have served her right.

"Hi. It's Zoe. I-" Where to start? Small talk? Business? Professional? She exhaled hard. "Is there any chance you could come over tonight?"

Long silence.

"When?" His cold, short reply stung.

Dear G.o.d, what happened to him? Not a hint of life or warmth permeated his clipped words. Had her weeklong silence created resentment? She grazed her fingernails through her scalp. What if he wanted nothing to do with her? Her heart clenched.

"Whenever you can." Her voice quivered. "I need to see you. It's important."

"I'll be there shortly." The line clicked dead.

Zoe pocketed her phone. Sudden pressure in her stomach forced bile up her throat. Swallowing it down, she returned to the living room, cracked the drapes, and watched in terrified silence for Gavin's headlights.

Adriene, Dani, and Elizabeth avoided speaking to her, which was for the best. Antic.i.p.ating emotional annihilation in T minus ten minutes, she couldn't have carried on much of a conversation anyway.

The moment his car pulled into the drive, she shot through the door. It may have been the first time he'd ever used the driveway. He used to park down the street and sneak in through her window.

How she missed those days.

The rumbling engine of his antique car shut off, and Zoe popped open the pa.s.senger door. She slid into the seat, the cool humidity from outside following her, and closed herself in. When she found the nerve to look at him, her heart took a dive off the cliffs of her ribs.

Gavin's beautiful face held no trace of emotion. No love hid behind his eyes, only darkness. Like the gray clouds outside, threatening rain.

"You said you needed to speak to me." He didn't make eye contact. Wouldn't even look at her hands shaking on either side of her.

"I'm sorry I haven't called."

"I reckoned you were busy."

"Jack said..." She shook her head. Forget Jack. "I need to apologize for how I blew you off these last two weeks. There's no excuse for it. I've had plenty of time to think about what happened, and I-"

He faced her, dragging his left knee up on his seat. His affect remained totally neutral. "I think it's best we not see each other anymore. At least until things get sussed out after the equinox."

No. No, he couldn't be saying goodbye. "I know I've been unavailable, but-"

"You're busy with your whales, and I've been working double time in the Dreaming. We'd both be more productive without the...distractions. A lot of people are depending on us." Finally, a hint of desperation flawed the perfectly dull monotone of his voice.

She bit her bottom lip hard. A dark eddy of swirling sadness mingled with dying hope and overtook it in a great wave.

Thunder rumbled. A shot of lightning ignited the air in the distance.

Her teeth released the hostage lip. "When you...had s.e.x with Scarlet at your house...did you...finish?" She hadn't planned on asking such a personal question, but if this was the end of their relationship, she felt she had a right to know.

He looked away and rubbed his forehead. "No."

The heaviness in her chest lightened a little. One small relief in a never-ending sea of drama. She didn't know why it bugged her so much that he'd had unprotected s.e.x for the first time with Scarlet rather than her. Zoe had gone without condoms on more occasions than she could remember. But rock star Gavin, who could have any woman in the world, had all but promised himself to Zoe, and Scarlet s.n.a.t.c.hed him right out from under her.

G.o.d d.a.m.n it, that stabbed worse than a poisoned dagger.

Stupid feelings.

Anxious for a distraction, she punched the play b.u.t.ton on the fancy CD player he must've had specially installed in his vintage car. A familiar style of notes rolled out of the speakers. Gavin's voice filled in behind them, singing the words he'd written for Zoe the night they'd met at The Whale & Whistle.

Her heart fluttered. Adrenaline spiked. A Just Breathe demo? She turned up the volume.

And now I know that you're the one I've waited my whole life for...

Though she'd never heard the song, she knew the words by heart. Had memorized them the first time her confused, dyslexic brain read them, which never happened. She still slept with that silly, wrinkled sc.r.a.p of paper covered with his lyrics and doodles under her pillow.

Zoe closed her eyes, crushing the tears welling within them. Gavin was right. He was a Sentinel. She was a translator for the Waeters. Their paths had veered in separate directions, both with good reason. They were freedom fighters for two different causes, willing to make sacrifices for what they believed in. Neither of them could jump off the ride until was it over.

She stared at his dark profile. Cheeks and chin unshaven. Lips pursed, eyes tired. He rested an elbow on the window ledge and faced the night.

People in Australia were dying. Zoe had quit watching the news. It was filled with panic-inducing horrors foreshadowing the inevitable rise of the Fyres.

The whales had endured their share of suffering, too. The little orphaned calf and his mother in Sydney. Araluen's attack. Just this evening, she'd learned of ma.s.sive right whale stranding off the southern coast. Entire groups of baleen whales didn't normally beach themselves. Toothed whales, yes, but not baleen whales.

Once she and Gavin fulfilled their respective duties, they could try to mend their tattered relationship. Until then, responsibilities would have to take top priority. What her heart wanted didn't matter.

A few raindrops pinged on the roof and hood of the car. They amplified and picked up speed as Zoe stared at the b.u.t.tons on the CD player.

You're the budding leaves turning green in spring You're the fresh breath of air that summer brings You're the autumn sky painted in rainbow hues You're the wintry ocean dancing in shimmering blues...

She met his sad eyes, and a sudden rush of longing dissolved her heart into a puddle of pure, raw emotion.

Screw it all.

She tossed her arms around Gavin's neck and kissed him into the headrest. His hands slowly encircled her waist, and his guarded lips softened, lifting her soul like a million bubbles racing to the ocean's surface.

Zoe's tears fell on his cheeks. Breaths crossed. She swung a leg around his hips, straddling him. Her back wedged against the steering wheel.

You're the air I breathe You're the water I drink You're the fire inside me The earth under my feet You're the one...

Outside, the clouds let go of their heavy burdens, and rain fell in earnest.

Gavin sang to her through the car's speakers. His harsh, pained expression melted like wax, revealing the gorgeous man she'd fallen in love with.

A voice in the back of her head warned that giving in to her feelings now would only complicate things further, but she needed this. Needed him. d.a.m.n the consequences.

He hardened between her legs and stared up at her, brows pinched together. Regret? She had plenty of that, too.

The waterfall of her hair enclosed their faces in a private s.p.a.ce. She held his cheeks with both hands and stroked his lips with a thumb. "Let me have this one tiny part of you before you leave me."

He clamped his eyes shut for a long moment. When he opened them again, a hint of restrained desire sparked within. The rain poured, coating the windows, distorting the view to the outside world she wanted to forget.

"Please." She lifted his stubbly chin with her index finger.

He tugged her close and exhaled hard against her neck. Shivers danced across her nerve endings. She squeezed his broad shoulders, then unb.u.t.toned her jeans. She took his hand, slid it up her shirt, over her bra, and pressed his cool fingers to her racing heart. Regret still lodged deep within his eyes, but his muscles released some of their tightness.

Music and the patter of raindrops drowned out her breath. She undid the b.u.t.ton on his cargo pants, lowered the zipper, and sprung his erection free. The arrow of his muted but hungry stare shot straight through her soul, giving her permission to continue. Tears pooling, she rose on her knees. After a brief struggle, she freed one leg from her shorts and underwear and took him inside before she lost her nerve.

She moved to his music, let it cover her, whittle away at her heart. Her vision blurred. More tears fell, and she succ.u.mbed to the overpowering emotions. She pulled back to look at him as she always did when they made love in the Dreaming. Their gazes collided and held for only a second-not nearly long enough. But in that brief moment of contact, a wave of love raged so strongly in his eyes, she shuddered from the impact. He tightened his arms around her waist and laid his cheek against her throat. Stubble and rough spikes of hair scratched her skin.

The tide overtook her, filling the terrible emptiness she'd endured in his absence. G.o.d, she needed him so much. Her breath hurried, and she let go.

The physical pleasure from the o.r.g.a.s.m rolled through her in cool ripples, but without his eye contact to rea.s.sure her, she missed out on the emotional connection she so desperately craved.

Clutching her around the waist, he pushed his hips upward and drove slow and deep. His body shuddered, and his lips parted against her collarbone. The phantom of a whisper beat its gossamer wings at the base of her throat. Did he say, 'I love you'? She didn't have enough time to register whether the words were real or imagined before they floated away.

She held him through his climax, memorizing the feel of his muscles tightening and releasing, the stark, haunting lines in his face, the warmth pooling low in her belly.

When the song was done, so was he.

She dropped a long, tender kiss on his mouth. He had given her a gift no one could ever take away. "Thank you," she said softly against his metal-looped lip.

He kept his eyes shut.

And then, like a light switching off, the rain ceased. The spell broke. Cold ghosted between them.

A shiver roused Zoe from her daze. She crawled to her seat and put herself back together. He said nothing as he stuffed himself into his pants. The loud bite of his zipper echoed off the steamy windshield. Another song began.

So many things she wanted to say. She could beg him not to go, but where would that get them? He'd already made up his mind, and much as she hated to admit it, breaking up was for the best.

They couldn't even sleep beside each other without her going nuts from dream deprivation. And with her leaving to take a new job in November, it wasn't like a serious relationship between them was an option. Sure, they could still see each other every once in a while, but being together together? No need to make things more difficult by dragging out the inevitable.

d.a.m.n, responsibility hurt.

Zoe laid her fingers on the door handle and faced him. Lips clamped together, he glanced out the foggy driver's side window and tipped his head against the gla.s.s.

So that was it?

His silence played on a continuous loop.

She nodded, popped open the door, and set her foot down on the driveway. He didn't move. She risked one more look at his sad, beautiful face. He shut his eyes.

"Goodbye, Gavin." I love you.

Without another word, she took his gift and ventured into the harsh, uncertain world of Realis, alone. His poignant music caressed the back of her neck like the goodbye kiss she'd never get.

Head reeling and hole-ridden heart leaking Water, Gavin left Zoe's house in a haze. His dream of making love to her free of boundaries and restraints had come true.

Now he had to forget it ever happened.

Yet, his scheming body and heart betrayed his mind by hungering for more.

He should have refused Zoe, gone straight home before she had a chance to kiss him. h.e.l.l, he could have broken up with her over the phone and saved himself the agony of witnessing the disappointment and hurt on her face firsthand. But that wouldn't have been fair to her. And he had to see her one last time, just in case.

G.o.d, he wanted Zoe.

For life.

Tough s.h.i.t. You're stuck with Scarlet instead.

Gavin started to engage in another pointless mental battle with himself over how unfair the situation was, how they'd suffered enough, but the arguments were irrelevant. He had no other option.

It had been two weeks since he and Jack rescued the unconscious Whetu. The girl hadn't moved once. Vexx said she showed no signs of waking up before the equinox. Without access to the knowledge Iri had buried deep inside Whetu's brain, the Sentinels were as likely to find the door into the Dreaming as Scarlet was to turn Waeter.

And no sign of the enigmatic Dreamweaver either.

The light lavender scent of Zoe's hair lifted from his shirt as he made a right onto his street. When they'd had s.e.x, every color in the blue spectrum had lighted her aura-dark worry, blue-black loss, pale regret, navy sadness, aqua joy, and primary blue love. The real kicker had been the periwinkle that signaled trust. His throat constricted.

Yileen had been mistaken about the Songlines binding Gavin and Zoe together. The old man had either taken the wrong exit on the superhighway of life threads, or an unforeseen obstacle had thrown Yileen's navigation off and sent him in a different direction.

Gavin and Zoe were not meant to be together.

He turned into his drive. The headlights beamed their rays in a semi-circle, illuminating Scarlet's red aura on the steps leading to his lanai. f.u.c.king great.

He parked the car. Duty clung to his chest like a cough he couldn't shake, pushing him down, drowning.

Gavin had made his one and only deposit at the Bank of Zoe. Now he'd walk away and forget it, like he'd done with everyone before her.

His hand steadied as he unlatched the door. He got out and went to Scarlet.

Red glitter shimmered in the eyes that swept his body, sizing him up like a slab of meat in a butcher's window. "I need your answer."

No, his Water replied. Not just no, but f.u.c.k no.

"I'll do it."