Jokes Book Collection Part Vii Part 8

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the special of the day?"

"Chili," she says, "but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl."

The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chili remained uneaten.

"Are you going to eat your chili?" he asked.

"No, help yourself," replied his neighbor.

The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had just eaten back into the bowl.

The man sitting next to him says, "Yeah, that's as far as I got, too."

Subject: So what is your choice ?

Following is a story or rather a fact I can say which is really cool & one should try to adhere to !!

Please take some time to read !!

One big company was hiring new staff. The question of the written exam was : You are driving a car on one big stormy night, u r pa.s.sing a station, there are 3 people who are waiting for the bus;one old lady who is dying, one doctor who saved your life before, one young man/lady who is someone you have been dreaming to be with. You can only take one pa.s.senger, which one will you choose ?

Please explain your reason.

Think about it before you read the following ...

==== I am sure whether it is some kind of personality test, since every answer has its reason. One lady is going to die, you should let her first, However, old people always end up dying anyway, you should take the doctor, because the doctor saved my life, this is the perfect chance to pay him back. At the same time some people believe that you can always pay the doctor back in the future, but you may never be able to find the perfect lover once you pa.s.s this chance.

So what is your choice ?

Now read the following : Among the two hundred candidates, the one who was hired did not explain his answer.

He simply stated that " give the car key to the doctor, let the doctor take the old lady to the hospital & I stay to wait for the bus with the man/lady of my dream !! "

What do you think ? A Great Answer right !!

We all realise that the above answer is the best answer, but there is no one who thought of this answer first Is it because we never want to give up any advantage we held in our hands (the car keys) ?

Sometimes, we would gain more if we were able to give up our advantage. To get more, learn to give more.

Cheers .........

Frequently asked questions about Christmas...

Q: If Santa doesn't have to age, then why has he become old?

A: He only appears to be old. He's an undercover kid.

Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?

A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn't you fly too?

Q: Why do we wish people a "Merry Christmas" instead of a "Happy Christmas"?

A: The two are about the same, but with "Merry Christmas"

an extra twinkle is seen in the eyes.

Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a "live Christmas tree?"

A: It's dead but doesn't know it, and yet it's having the time of its life.

Q: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?

A: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly faked) in the recipients.

Q: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

A: Nowadays, only four angels can dance there. Formerly there was no limit, but OSHA pa.s.sed the Angel Safety Law recently, which also requires that the pin must be inspected twice each year for structural defects.

Q: How many gifts can Santa Claus's bag hold?

A: One less than infinity. Why one less? Because there's a limit to everything.

Q: How could a star that is high in the sky lead the Wise Men to a tiny manger on the ground?

A: Wisely, toward the end of their journey they asked directions from someone on the road. Had they not been so wise, they might have missed the manger by several hundred miles. (That person on the road has never been identified.)

Q: Is there really a Mrs. Santa Claus?

A: The best way to know for sure is to ask Santa Claus next time you see him.

Q: Why do we hear so many bells at Christmas time?

A: Because so many people ring them.

Q: Why do so many people ring bells at Christmas time?

A: For the poor, for the joy, and because a bell can say what words can't say.

Q: What can't words say?

A: The moment you wake up on Christmas morning, listen carefully. You may hear then what words can't say.

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. "You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.

"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.

"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."

"What's a circle fly?"

"Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."

"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's a.s.s, would you?" the trooper angrily asked.

"Nope, I didn't" the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies."

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a c.o.ke. So she went to the c.o.ke machine and put her money in, and a c.o.ke came out, so she kept putting money in it. Since it was a hot day a line had formed behind her. Finally the man behind her said, "Will you hurry up we're all hot and thirsty!"

The blonde turned around and said, "No way. I'm still winning."

Have a look at the wrapper on a Coca-Cola 1.5 litre bottle and in the ingredients label you will find phosphoric acid in it. Minute quant.i.ties of ethylene glycol is also used (which is acknowledged in the soft drink world for making it really chill").

this is popularly known as anti-freeze which prevents water from freezing at 0 degree C and instead drops it by 4-5 degree C with minute quant.i.ties.This chemical is a known slow poison in the caliber of a.r.s.enic.

So, if you manage to drink about 4 litres of c.o.ke within an hour or so, you can die.

Read along and give up these dangerous things. Be natural, have flavoured milks, tender coconuts, b.u.t.ter milk, la.s.si and plain water instead of these "soft"

drinks.

Guess what's the pH for soft drinks,e.g. c.o.ke? pH 3.4! This acidity is strong enough to dissolve teeth and bones!

Our human body stops building bones at the age of about 30. Soft drinks do not have any nutrition value (in terms of vitamins & minerals). It is high in sugar content, carbonic acid, chemicals i.e.colourings etc. Some like to take cold soft drinks after each meal.

Guess what's the impact?