Jokes Book Collection Part Vi Part 3

>That's Brand Recognition.

> >You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

>You go up to her and say, "I'm rich.Marry me"

>She gives you a nice hard tight slap on your face.

>That's Customer Feedback !!!!!!!!

Questions & Answers.

Q: Why did Mahtama Gandhi never wear an underwear?

A: He believed in freedom movement..

Q: What did Rajiv Gandhi say, at last, when he saw Dhannu coming 2wards him?

A: What a BOMB!

Q: What was Dhanu's figure in the end?

A: 36-0-36. (Her waist blew off.)

Q: What did the bulb say to the switch?

A: U turn me On........

Q: Why is a p.e.n.i.s called a "Gentleman" in England?

A: It stands up whenever a lady pa.s.ses by.

Q: Why is a p.e.n.i.s called a "Thief" in Baghdad?

A: It enters through the back door.

Q: Why is a p.e.n.i.s called a "Labourer" in India?

A: It works day and night.

Q: Who wrote "Chinese Torture"?

A: U Chew Mine.

Q: Who wrote "Arabian Torture"?

A: Shake My-b.o.o.b.

Q: Why do girls rub their eyes when they getup in the morning?

A: They don't have b.a.l.l.s to scratch.

Q: What is the similarity between a Ca.s.sette & a Girl?

A: You can use them on either side.

Q: What is the similarity between Tea and Girl ?

A: Both are hot, Both have milk.

Q: Why did the Taleban decide to check every Afghani woman's underneath??

A: They were told there was a Bush under them all..

George W Bush & The Queen.

President George W. Bush was representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England.

The President joined Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses.

The coach proceeded through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, and the Queen and the President were waving to the cheering throngs.

Then suddenly the right rear horse produced a thunderous fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach, sending a horse-s.h.i.t stench blowing through the coach.

Uncomfortable, the two powerful figures try to focus their attentions elsewhere and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened.

But the Queen realized that ignoring what had just happened would be ridiculous. She explained: "Mr. President, please accept my regrets - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

George W. replied, "No need to be ashamed, your majesty... it's just gas. But I gotta admit, until you confessed, I thought it was one of the horses!"

Men Revealed.

Today's Joke: Men Revealed.

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heteros.e.xual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heteros.e.xual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heteros.e.xual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank G.o.d are heteros.e.xual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ....WHO IN THE h.e.l.l UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

Quick Thinking.

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only a half.

The boy explained that he would have to ask the manager and so he walked into the back room and said, "There is some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half".

The manager okayed the request and the man went on his way. Later on the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Minnesota sir".

"Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just wh.o.r.es and hockey players up there."

"My wife is from Minnesota!"

The boy replied, "Really! What team did she play for?"

An Ode To f.u.c.king And Overtime.

Oh Husband, Dear Husband, I tremble with fear.

You've been on overtime almost a year, And since you are gone, till way late at night A good piece of a.s.s seems way out of sight..

O Husband, Dear Husband, Please don't be a fool, Working this overtime is wasting your tool..

For better it is, to be poor all your life, Than to bring a soft peter home to your wife..