John Bull Part 2

_Pereg._ You have told me so, twenty times.

_Dan._ This be the Red Cow, zur, as you may see by the pictur; and here be measter--he'll treat ye in a hospital manner, zur, and show you a deal o' contention.

_Dennis._ I'll be bound, sir, you'll get good entertainment, whether you are a man or a horse.

_Pereg._ You may lodge me as either, friend. I can sleep as well in a stable as a bedchamber; for travel has season'd me.--Since I have preserved this [_Half aside, and pointing to the Trunk under his Arm_], I can lay my head upon it with tranquility, and repose any where.

_Dennis._ 'Faith, it seems a mighty decent, hard bolster. What is it stuff'd with, I wonder?

_Pereg._ That which keeps the miser awake--money.

_Dan._ Wauns! all that money!

_Dennis._ I'd be proud, sir, to know your upholsterer--he should make me a feather bed gratis of the same pretty materials. If that was all my own, I'd sleep like a pig, though I'm married to Mrs.

Brulgruddery.

_Pereg._ I shall sleep better, because it is not my own.

_Dennis._ Your own's in a snugger place, then? safe from the sharks of this dirty world, and be hang'd to 'em!

_Pereg._ Except the purse in my pocket, 'tis, now, I fancy, in a place most frequented by the sharks of this world.

_Dennis._ London, I suppose?

_Pereg._ The bottom of the sea.

_Dennis._ By my soul, that's a watering place--and you'll find sharks there, sure enough in all conscience.

_Enter MRS. BRULGRUDDERY._

_Mrs. Brul._ What would you chuse to take, sir, after your walk this raw morning? We have any thing you desire.

_Dennis._ Yes, we have any thing. Any thing's nothing, they say.

[_Aside._

_Mrs. Brul._ Dan, bustle about; and see the room ready, and all tidy; do you hear?

_Dan._ I wull.

_Mrs. Brul._ What would you like to drink, sir?

_Pereg._ O, mine is an accommodating palate, hostess. I have swallowed burgundy with the French, hollands with the Dutch, sherbet with a Turk, sloe juice with an Englishman, and water with a simple Gentoo.

_Dan._ [_Going._] Dang me, but he's a rum customer! It's my opinion, he'll take a fancy to our sour beer. [_Exit into the House_

_Pereg._ Is your house far from the sea-sh.o.r.e?

_Mrs. Brul._ About three miles, sir.

_Pereg._ So!--And I have wandered upon the heath four hours, before day-break.

_Mrs. Brul._ Lackaday! has any thing happened to you, sir?

_Pereg._ Shipwreck--that's all.

_Mrs. Brul._ Mercy on us! cast away?

_Pereg._ On your coast, here.

_Dennis._ Then, compliment apart, sir, you take a ducking as if you had been used to it.

_Pereg._ Life's a lottery, friend; and man should make up his mind to the blanks. On what part of Cornwall am I thrown?

_Mrs. Brul._ We are two miles from Penzance, sir.

_Pereg._ Ha!--from Penzance!--that's lucky!

_Mrs. Brul_ [_Aside to DENNIS._] Lucky!--Then he'll go on, without drinking at our house.

_Dennis._ A hem!--Sir, there has been a great big thunder storm at Penzance, and all the beer in the town's as thick as mustard.

_Pereg._ I feel chill'd--get me a gla.s.s of brandy.

_Dennis._ Och, the devil! [_Aside._] Bring the brandy bottle for the jontleman, my jewel. [_Aloud to his Wife._

_Mrs. Brul._ [_Apart._] Dont you know you've emptied it, you sot, you!

_Dennis._ [_Apart._] Draw a mug of beer--I'll palaver him.

_Mrs. Brul._ [_Apart, and going._] Ah! if you would but follow my advice! [_Exit into the House._

_Dennis._ You see that woman that's gone sir,--she's my wife, poor soul! She has but one misfortune, and that's a wapper.

_Pereg._ What's that?

_Dennis._ We had as a neat a big bottle of brandy, a week ago--and d.a.m.n the drop's left. But I say nothing--she's my wife, poor creature! and she can tell who drank it. Would'nt you like a sup of sour--I mean, of our strong beer?

_Pereg._ Pshaw! no matter what. Tell me, is a person of the name of Thornberry still living in Penzance?

_Dennis._ Is it one Mr. Thornberry you are asking after?

_Pereg._ Yes. When I first saw him (indeed, it was the first time and the last), he had just begun to adventure humbly in trade. His stock was very slender, but his neighbours accounted him a kindly man--and I know they spoke the truth. Thirty years ago, after half an hour's intercourse, which proved to me his benevolent nature, I squeezed his hand, and parted.

_Dennis._ Thirty years! 'Faith, after half an hour's dish of talk, that's a reasonable long time to remember!

_Pereg._ Not at all; for he did me a genuine service; and grat.i.tude writes the records in the heart, that, till it ceases to beat, they may live in the memory.

_Enter MRS. BRULGRUDDERY, with a Mug of Beer._