John Bull Part 16

_Shuff._ [_Looking at MARY._] Devilish good-looking girl, upon my soul! [_Sees DENNIS._] Who's that fellow?

_Dennis._ Welcome to Muckslush Heath, sir.

_Shuff._ Pray, sir, have you any business, here?

_Dennis._ Very little this last week, your honour.

_Shuff._ O, the landlord. Leave the room.

_Dennis._ [_Aside._] Manners! but he's my customer. If he don't behave himself to the young cratur, I'll bounce in, and thump him blue. [_Exit._

_Shuff._ [_Looking at MARY._] Shy, but stylish--much elegance, and no bra.s.s: the most extraordinary article that ever belonged to a brazier.--[_Addressing her._] Don't be alarmed, my dear. Perhaps you didn't expect a stranger?

_Mary._ No, sir.

_Shuff._ But you expected somebody, I believe, didn't you?

_Mary._ Yes, sir.

_Shuff._ I come from him: here are my credentials. Read that, my dear little girl, and you'll see how far I am authorized.

[_Gives her a Letter._

_Mary._ 'Tis his hand. [_Kissing the Superscription._

_Shuff._ [_As she is opening the Letter._] Fine blue eyes, faith, and very like my f.a.n.n.y's. Yes, I see how it will end;--she'll be the fifteenth Mrs. Shuffleton.

_Mary._ [Reading.] _When the conflicts of my mind have subsided, and opportunity will permit, I will write to you fully. My friend is instructed from me to make every arrangement for your welfare. With heartfelt grief I add, family circ.u.mstances have torn me from you for ever!----_ [_Drops the Letter, and is falling, SHUFFLETON supports her._

_Shuff._ Ha! d.a.m.n it, this looks like earnest! They do it very differently in London.

_Mary._ [_Recovering._] I beg pardon, sir--I expected this; but I----I---- [_Bursts into Tears._

_Shuff._ [_Aside._] O, come, we are getting into the old train; after the shower, it will clear.--My dear girl, don't flurry yourself;--these are things of course, you know. To be sure, you must feel a little resentment at first, but----

_Mary._ Resentment! When I am never, never to see him again!

Morning and night, my voice will be raised to Heaven, in anguish, for his prosperity!--And tell him,--pray, sir, tell him, I think the many, many bitter tears I shall shed, will atone for my faults; then you know, as it isn't himself, but his station, that sunders us, if news should reach him that I have died, it can't bring any trouble to his conscience.

_Shuff._ Mr. Rochdale, my love, you'll find will be very handsome.

_Mary._ I always found him so, sir.

_Shuff._ He has sent you a hundred pound bank note [_Giving it to her._] till matters can be arranged, just to set you a-going.

_Mary._ I was going, sir, out of this country, for ever. Sure he couldn't think it necessary to send me this, for fear I should trouble him!

_Shuff._ Pshaw! my love, you mistake: the intention is to give you a settlement.

_Mary._ I intended to get one for myself, sir.

_Shuff._ Did you?

_Mary._ Yes, sir, in London. I shall take a place in the coach to-morrow morning; and I hope the people of the inn where it puts up, at the end of the journey, will have the charity to recommend me to an honest service.

_Shuff._ Service? Nonsense! You----you must think differently. I'll put you into a situation in town.

_Mary._ Will you be so humane, sir?

_Shuff._ Should you like Marybone parish, my love?

_Mary._ All parishes are the same to me, now I must quit my own, sir.

_Shuff._ I'll write a line for you, to a lady in that quarter, and--Oh, here's pen and ink. [_Writes, and talks as he is writing._]

I shall be in London myself, in about ten days, and then I'll visit you, to see how you go on.

_Mary._ O sir! you are, indeed a friend!

_Shuff._ I mean to be your friend, my love. There, [_Giving her the Letter._] Mrs. Brown, Howland-Street; an old acquaintance of mine; a very goodnatured, discreet, elderly lady, I a.s.sure you.

_Mary._ You are very good, sir, but I shall be ashamed to look such a discreet person in the face, if she hears my story.

_Shuff._ No, you needn't;--she has a large stock of charity for the indiscretions of others, believe me.

_Mary._ I don't know how to thank you, sir. The unfortunate must look up to such a lady, sure, as a mother.

_Shuff._ She has acquired that appellation.----You'll be very comfortable;--and, when I arrive in town, I'll--

_Enter PEREGRINE._

Who have we here?--Oh!--ha!--ha!--This must be the gentleman she mentioned to Frank in her letter.--rather an ancient ami. [_Aside._

_Pereg._ So! I suspected this might be the case. [_Aside._] You are Mr. Rochdale, I presume sir?

_Shuff._ Yes, sir, you do presume;--but I am not Mr. Rochdale.

_Pereg._ I beg your pardon, sir, for mistaking you for so bad a person.

_Shuff._ Mr. Rochdale, sir, is my intimate friend. If you mean to recommend yourself in this quarter, [_Pointing to Mary._] good breeding will suggest to you, that it mustn't be done by abusing him, before me.

_Pereg._ I have not acquired that sort of good breeding, sir, which isn't founded on good sense;--and when I call the betrayer of female innocence a bad character, the term, I think, is too true to be abusive.

_Shuff._ 'Tis a pity, then, you hav'n't been taught a little better, what is due to polished society.

_Pereg._ I am always willing to improve.

_Shuff._ I hope, sir, you won't urge me to become your instructor.

_Pereg._ You are unequal to the task: if you quarrel with me in the cause of a seducer, you are unfit to teach me the duties of a citizen.