Abyss Watcher In The League V2 43 Ch42: Siblings

Ahri woke up next morning in a bed half-full with stuffed animals. The Nine-Tailed Vastayan stretched setting on her bed looking at the stuffed toys.

"Huh, maybe I did buy too much?" she asked herself before waving it off. "Nah." she then gained a fox grin.

The Nine-Tailed Vastayan turned to wake up Grey by the usual teasing… only to find the bed empty.

Ahri raised a confused eyebrow. Usually, she's the one who wakes up first. But apparently, Grey woke up before.

"That's odd," Ahri stated before getting off the bed. "Well, better get ready and see where Grey went."

The emotion controlling woman got off the bed and went to the bathroom. After finishing her preparations for the day, she got dressed up and looked at the schedule.

"Looks like Grey and I got a match." Ahri hummed in thought. "Well, at least we're in the same team."

The Nine-Tailed Vastayan came out of her room to find Nidalee and Silver, but still no sign of the Abyss Watcher.

"Good morning," Nidalee greeted while petting Silver. "Is Grey up yet?"

"Actually, I don't know where he is," Ahri replied surprising the Huntress. "He wasn't there when I woke up."

Nidalee looked at her roommate confused. "Well, where is he?" she asked.

Suddenly, Silver jumped from Nidalee's lab and started sniffing the ground. He then walked to the door and started scratching it with his paws.

"Are you going to find Grey for us?" Ahri asked receiving a bark in response. "Alright," she opened the door for the wolf pup. "Go for it."

Silver walked towards the hallway and started sniffing the ground. He then started running in the direction of the smell he caught.

The Nine-Tailed Vastayan and Huntress waisted no time in following the wolf pup as he ran through the hallway.

After a few turns, and pa.s.sing people that gave them a confused look, Silver stopped in front of a pair of green doors.

Ahri recognized the gate. "The garden?" she noted before looking at the wolf pup. "Is Grey in there?" she asked.

Silver barked in response confirming the fox Vastayan's thoughts. After opening the gates, they were greeted with the green nature of the garden.

Then, however, they saw the plants open up and from between them emerged Zyra. The rise of Thorns stretched and yawned and the two roommates couldn't help but compare her to a flower opening in the morning.

The carnivore woman noticed her guests. "Oh, a little early for a visit, isn't it?" she asked.

"Actually, we're looking for Grey," Nidalee informed Zyra as the walked in with Silver.

Zyra looked a little confused. "Then why are you here? If Grey was here I would have known," she replied.

The two roommates then heard Silver bark before he started running deeper into the garden.

Ahri and Nidalee immediately started following. Zyra doubted that anyone was here since she couldn't sense them, but she still decided to follow out of curiosity.

When they reached deeper in the garden, they caught sight of the Abyss Watcher, much to Zyra's surprise.

Grey was sitting cross-legged in front of the rose that represented Vordt's soul. The first to approach him was Silver.

The Lord of Cinder noticed the wolf pup as it started rubbing its head on his leg. "Oh, good morning, Silver," Grey greeted as he pats his friend's head.

Ahri and Nidalee started walking towards the Abyss Watcher. Meanwhile, Zyra stood there shocked.

Normally, Zyra would immediately know of someone or something enters the garden. The only exception was the Green Father, but even then she would feel something. However, Grey managed to get in, sit down, and go unnoticed until now.

Meanwhile, Ahri and Nidalee reached Grey. "Grey, where were you this morning?" the nine tailed Vastayan asked.

The Undead picked up Silver and put it on his shoulder while standing up before responding, "I just came for some fresh air."

"Give us a little warning next time, okay?" Nidalee said with a hand on her waist. She didn't mind Grey going out whenever he wanted, but she still hoped he would give them a little heads up.

"Sorry," The Abyss Watcher apologized. He didn't even notice the time pa.s.s by. He guessed that it was because he always sat near a Bonfire for who knows how long without moving or keeping track of time.

"Anyway, you and I have a match in a couple of hours," Ahri informed him as her voice became excited. "You and I will be fighting in the same team."

"Alright," Grey nodded. He then noticed Zyra standing in the distance. "Oh, morning, Zyra. I hope I'm not being a disturbance," he said.

The rise of Thorns broke out of her shock and waved it off. "It's alright," she replied. Truthfully, she was more concerned for her children more than Grey getting in without her notice. And since they were unharmed, she didn't care.

"Thank you," the Abyss Watcher then turned to his roommates. "Let's go get some breakfast," he suggested.

Ahri and Nidalee were completely on board with the idea. After bidding Zyra goodbye, they all exited the garden and started making their way to the dining hall.

Along the way, they pa.s.sed by Sona, who was apparently headed towards their room. The mute received a glare from Ahri and Nidalee since they were still mad at her manipulation, but she ignored them.

[Good morning, Grey,] the Maven signed. She was also enjoying the fact that Ahri and Nidalee couldn't understand her hand signs. [Where were you? I was waiting for you but thought to go to you.]

That was another sign that the Abyss Watcher lost track of time. He realized that he needs to be more careful. "Sorry, I went to the garden and lost track of time."

His two roommates understood from Grey's response that the Maven asked where he was. So they continued their way to the dining hall.

When they reached the dining hall and picked their food, they looked for a place to sit and found a table with most of their friends.

The table had Brite, Ezreal, Solas, and surprisingly Katarina. Grey, Ahri, Nidalee, and Sona sat down in a table next to the one they were sitting on after giving Silver his food.

"Morning, everyone," Grey greeted as he sat down before looking at the red-headed a.s.sa.s.sin. "Katarina, haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, this meeting with King Jarvan had Swain on edge, so he had a lot of people stay to protect and spy on suspicious people. But at least we're finished, and I'm supposed to meet Garen here," Katarina replied before going back to her food.

Ahri noticed the absence of the summoner of the group. "Hey, where's Aki?" she asked.

"She left a few moments ago," Brite answered Ahri's question. "she said that she's trying to learn more spells in the library."

The Nine-Tailed Vastayan was a little sad that her friend wasn't around but decided to think of how she'll meet the Shy summoner later.

Suddenly, the group fell into silence and it would have stayed that way were it not for Lux's yelling, "Hey, Grey! We got a surprise for you!" she sang out in excitement.

Hearing the young Crownguard yell out his name, the Abyss Watcher turned around and stood up facing them. "What is-" Grey's words immediately went dry in his throat.

The Lord of Cinder saw who was with the Crownguard siblings. The Dancer was standing right in front of him.

The others were curious to see a woman in a black bodysuit under a dark silver armor here for Grey. Except for Brite, who was surprised to see the Dancer here.

"D-Dancer?" Grey mumbled with surprise evident in his voice.

"Grey," the Dancer said in an emotionless voice. Since her face was covered by the shadow of her visor, it was hard to tell what she felt.

The others were looking surprised to see the two know each other, except for Brite, Lux, and Garen.

Lux was standing at the side with a big grin waiting for the heartwarming family reunion. Meanwhile, Garen was curious at how this would play out.

However, much to everyone's surprise, the only thing that they witnessed was the Dancer sending a punch straight to Grey's face making him stumble backward.

"You freaking IDIOT!" the Dancer yelled with her voice being heard all over the dining hall. "I've been worried about you for months and I find you here staying with a bunch of weirdos!?!"

Everyone was shocked by the display, more so when Grey didn't seem like he even wanted to fight back.

The only person that wasn't surprised was Brite, who was chuckling to himself. "Hehe. I love it when she's mad at him."

The Dancer turned her head to look at Brite. Even without seeing her eyes, she was obviously giving a glare. "You're in no better position, you sun Praising moron!"

"Wh" the Silver Knight was caught off guard and immediately raised his hands. "What did I do?!"

"Nothing! And that's the problem!" the Dancer barked out at him pointing out that he was useless. "I told you that if you heard anything about Grey to tell me immediately!"

The Abyss Watcher recovered from the punch and groaned, "Yeah, Brite. Way to go on doing nothing," He said.

"Which is exactly why this idiot is just sitting around instead of looking for a way back home!" the Dancer continued this time glaring at Grey.

"Ye oh," Grey stopped realizing that the insult was directed at him this time. "Well, in my defense, I found a home here."

Obviously, the Dancer wasn't going to give him the time to explain himself. "Does it look like I give s.h.i.t about that!?"

"Hey!" Ahri stood up between the Dancer and Grey. She was quiet for now but seeing the Dancer treat Grey like a child made her snap. "Who exactly are you to talk down on Grey?" she asked.

"I'm his sister, that's who!" the Dancer replied shocking those who didn't know.

Everyone just stared shocked before Ahri turned to the Abyss Watcher. "Grey, you have a sister?!?"

"Yes, he does," the Dancer answered. She was both annoyed and confused about who the Nine-tailed Vastayan is.

At this, Ahri was confused. She knew for a fact that neither of them had seen the other for a long time, and the first thing the Dancer does is punch him?

"Well, why are you scolding him?" Ahri asked voicing her thoughts.

Her answer, however, wasn't a kind one. "I'm not going to get lectured on how I treat my brother by some fox dressed as a wh*re," the Dancer replied.

The others all looked at the Dancer shocked at her choice of words, but none were shocked more than Ahri.

Before the fox Vastayan could think of a response, Grey stood up defensively in front of her. "Dancer, you're going too far. I'm the one you're mad at. Not her."

"You're defending her?" the Dancer asked shocked. She didn't know the Vastayan, but Grey obviously cared for her.

"Yes," the Abyss Watcher replied sternly showing no room for argument. "Now, knowing you, you aren't going to apologize. So at least make sure not to call her something like that again."

Both the Dancer and the Abyss Watcher held their ground until the former gave a sigh of defeat. "Fine, but I expect a full explanation on where we are."

"Alright," Grey nodded before looking back at the fox Vastaya. "Ahri, I'm sorry for what she said."

At first, Ahri wanted to set the Dancer on fire with her magic but seeing Grey stand up and apologize for her lifted her mood, even if a little.

"Whatever," Ahri grumbled before going to sit down.

Grey sat down beside her, while the Dancer walked to where Brite is and kicked him out of the chair before taking it herself.

The Silver Knight stood up shaking his head. "You have issues," he grumbled taking another seat.

"Says the guy who can't go five minutes without talking about the sun," the Dancer replied before looking at her brother. "Now, start talking. What is this place?" she then pointed at the Crownguard siblings. "Those two said something about a different world."

The Lord of Cinder sighed and started rubbing his forehead. "This is going to take a while."

Time skip: (Brought to you by chibi Ahri looking upset until chibi Grey starts petting her ears to calm her down.)

It took about an hour and a half to finish explaining to the Dancer. When Grey was done, she was processing what she heard.

After a few moments of silence, the Dancer shook her head. "Five minutes, I leave you for five minutes and I find you in an entirely different world going through this crazy s.h.i.t."

"Call it what you want," Grey replied shrugging his shoulders. He then narrowed his eyes. "But more importantly, Ahri, the one you insulted, was with me the entire time."

The Dancer got what her brother was trying to say and rolled her eyes under her helmet. "I get it, I said something wrong. It won't happen again, happy?" she asked Ahri with sarcasm dripping from her voice.

The Fox Vastayan looked over the Dancer, then at Grey who saw she was still mad about something, then at the Dancer again before answering. "Since it's you who said it… not really."

"You little…" the Dancer sneered at Ahri who just let out her tongue before checking her nails. "Whatever," the Dancer then looked at her brother. "The only thing I don't believe is that you became a Lord of Cinder."

"I a.s.sure you, he is one. I saw it for myself." Solas said giving his own opinion.

The Dancer then looked deeply into the Sun's First Born, or to be exact, his armor. "Who are you? Your armor looks familiar."

"I am Solas, The Sun's First Born," Solas introduced himself to the Dancer.

Now the Dancer knew why his armor looked familiar. Irithyll was practically right under Anor Londo, and there were many pictures of the royal family. While there wasn't anything on the First Born, there was plenty about his father, and their armor looked similar.

"So you're the guy that got himself exiled by his own family?" the Dancer taunted receiving a glare from the firstborn.

Before Solas can make a witty response, Grey spoke first. "That's like the pot calling the kettle black, and you know it," he said making his sister glare at him.

The others were confused except for Brite. Solas then understood what Grey was talking about. "Guess you and me are on the same boat," he taunted with a chuckle.

"Trust me, if I was in the same boat as you, I would jump overboard and open my mouth so I can drown," The Dancer replied harshly.

Everyone was rather surprised and annoyed by the Dancer's… unique personality. Garen decided to finally speak, "So what is your name? I doubt it's the Dancer."

"Why should I answer you?" the Dancer replied.

"Oh, for the love of the old Wolf of Farron," Grey groaned pinching his forehead before looking at the others. "Her name is Tiara Ashnex."

The Dancer looked at her brother who just gave her a tired expression. She sighed and removed her helmet for the others to finally see her face.

She had pale skin, really pale, almost snow white. Her hair was blue but a lighter shade than Sona's. It reached her shoulders and was tied into a low ponytail while the front was combed to the side covering her left eye.

Despite her att.i.tude, Tiara looked like a beautiful young woman. But they knew being Grey's sister means she is far older than she looks.

"Can I ask something?" Solas requested looking at Grey and Tiara. "I know for a fact that I heard the name Ashnex before, but I can't remember where."

"Ever heard of Ghear?" Tiara asked knowing that Solas was asking about their last name.

The surprise was evident on Solas' face. "You mean Ghear Ashnex? THE Moonlight Hunter?" he asked. Legends of what could be the strongest hunter in history had already reached Dragon's Peak.

Remembering that Grey is adopted, Nidalee realized something. "Does that mean that Grey's father adopted you, too?"

Tiara looked at her brother wondering why did he tell them about their father, but he just shrugged. She shook her head and answered, "Yes, I was adopted by Ghear from the Boreal Valley."

Grey remembered something, "Oh right. Tiara, you-"

"Grey?" Ahri cut him off getting his attention. "I don't want to cut your reunion short, but our match is about to begin."

"Oh, that's right," the Abyss Watcher remembered that his match was in seconds. "I'll talk to you later, Tiara. Just stay out of trouble."

"I promise nothing," the Dancer replied as Grey and Ahri vanished in a flash of light after Silver jumped from them to Nidalee.

"This will give me a chance to see how a match is done," Solas noted. Since he got to the Inst.i.tute, he only caught glimpses of matches.

Tiara then realized that Katarina was looking at her. "What do you want?" She asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, it's just that you and Grey don't exactly strike me as siblings, even if adopted," The Noxian a.s.sa.s.sin replied. No one denied that Grey and Tiara were nothing alike in personality.

Lux started chuckling. "Like you're one to talk, Kat," she said making Katarina give her a glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Katarina asked glaring at the young Crownguard.

Garen scratched his head nervously before answering, "W-Well… you and Talon aren't exactly… the model for best siblings."

Katarina just looked at her boyfriend before crossing her arms and saying, "You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

Inside the Match:

Grey and Ahri appeared in their team's base. They both saw the other three champions were Jax, Twisted Fate, and the new champion they met yesterday, Pyke.

"Oh, h.e.l.lo, Jax," Grey greeted seeing the Grand Master for the first time in a while.

"Hey there," Jax greeted and then noted that Ahri and Grey came together and decided to have some fun. "If it isn't the fox and wolf couple. How have you two been?"

Grey sighed in tiredness and was about to deny it when Twisted Fate spoke, "Ah, so you're the guy that won the beautiful maiden's heart. You are one lucky fellow," the card player added flipping his cards in his hands.

The Abyss Watcher rolled his eyes, but then he noticed that Ahri has been quiet the whole time. Taking a glance at her, she was looking at the ground with a distant look.

Before the Abyss Watcher can ask what's wrong, the sound that signaled the beginning of the Match was heard and they all split up. Twisted Fate went to the middle with Pyke, Jax went to the bottom, Ahri the top, and Grey the jungle.

The Lord of Cinder walked through the trees and bushes that covered the rift. And encountered the creatures of the forest. Three lizards like creatures were standing together, one being bigger than the other two.

Seeing that none of them seemed to notice him, Grey took a stance of raising his sword, pointing it downwards slightly, and setting his knife on the blade.

He then dashed forward at great speed and immediately stabbed one of the two small ones in the head killing it.

The other two beasts jumped in surprise and didn't have time to react as Grey dug his knife in the head of the other small beast leaving only the big one.

The last beast jumped at Grey trying to take a bite out of the Abyss Watcher, but Grey then brought his left arm making the beast bite into the armor.

The Abyss Watcher kicked the beast away making it fall onto its back. Before it corrects itself, Grey stabbed his sword through its chest killing the beast.

Grey was about to continue going through the jungle, but stopped hearing his Summoner's voice, "Champion, I'm going to recall you. There's a little problem at the top lane and I'm going to take you there."

The Abyss Watcher nodded and stood still as the recall spell activated under his feet. A few seconds later, he was back at his team's base but didn't stay long as his summoner made him go to the top.

After pa.s.sing his team's turrets, Grey saw were the two teams met together. Their minions were being overrun, while Ahri was barely holding her own against Rengar.

The Pridestalker was doing a great job at dodging the Nine-Tailed Fox's spells. after dodging another, he suddenly vanished turning invisible.

Ahri started looking around with her ears moving, trying to see or hear any sign of Rengar.

But with the Pridestalker being heavily trained on hunting silently, and with the sound of minions fighting beside them, it was almost impossible to find anything.

Ahri was then stabbed in the side, it wasn't anything serious, but still hurtful. Rengar appeared beside her and was ready to deliver the finishing blow.

However, he was stopped when Grey's sword slashed at him in the chest sending him back. Rengar immediately put up his dagger and blocked the second blow from the Abyss Watcher.

While the two hunters were in a lock-down, Ahri took her chance and blew a charm spell at Rengar.

Grey moved from the Vastayan hunter so the spell came in and struck him. The Pridestalker was covered in purple aura and started walking harmlessly towards Ahri.

The Nine-Tailed Vastayan created her Orb of Deception and shot it at Rengar. The orb of magic went through the Pridestalker and came back dealing additional damage.

Rengar was still standing, surprisingly. However, before he gets a chance to recover, Grey's sword was stabbed through his back ending him.

The Abyss Watcher pulled out his sword letting Rengar's body fall on the ground. He then looked at Ahri.

"Are you alright?" Grey asked.

Ahri checked on the wound in her side, but after using the orb of deception to take life essence from Rengar, it was better than before.

"I'm fine," Ahri grumbled as she started attacking the minions.

Now Grey was sure that Ahri was mad at something. He started attacking the minions with her. Now wasn't a good time to ask, so he decided to ask her after the match.

Time skip: (brought to you by chibi Ahri blowing a charm spell at chibi Grey, but then it pops after touching the pointy tip of his hat.)

The match went on for an hour. Grey and Ahri's team held a good grip on the battlefield. The Abyss Watcher was at the enemy base trying to destroy the Nexus.

Grey was fighting Rengar. He was able to be more than a match for the Pridestalker, but he also had to keep dodging the spears thrown at him by Kalista.

The Abyss Watcher entered another lock-down with the Vastayan hunter. Grey saw Kalista create another spear and was ready to throw it at him.

However, before she had a chance, Pyke suddenly burst from the ground laughing like a lunatic before throwing a harpoon at the spear of vengeance.

The harpoon hit its mark and Pyke pulled on it bringing Kalista closer to him. He then pulled out his green glowing blade and started attacking her.

With Kalista occupied, the Abyss Watcher pushed away the Pridestalker and was ready to engage battle again.

But then Pyke jumped in the air and dived towards Kalista, making green energy explode around her finishing her off. The Blood Harbor then jumped in the air again and did the same thing to Rengar.

Grey decided to not dwell on what Pyke did and move towards the Nexus. The Blood Harbor joined him and with the minions that piled up, they managed to destroy it.

After the Nexus was destroyed, the minions started celebrating before the champions were all pulled out of the rift.

Outside the Match:

The Abyss Watcher appeared in the summoning chamber with the other champions and summoners.

They all started walking out of the chamber. Grey and Ahri were now walking towards the dining hall to join with everyone else.

During the way, the Abyss Watcher noticed the Fox Vastayan being silent and looking away from him.

When they reached the dining hall, Grey stopped before they got in. "Alright, what's wrong?" he asked thinking he waited long enough.

Ahri, however, played stupid looking at the ground. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"For someone who can control the emotions of others, you aren't good at hiding your own," Grey replied looking deeply into her. "Now, please, tell me what's wrong."

The Nine-Tailed Vastayan sighed and finally looked into his eyes before answering with her own question, "Why didn't you tell me you have a sister?"

Grey raised an eyebrow. He didn't see that as a reason to be mad. "Is that it?" he asked.

"No, that's not it!" Ahri's patience has reached its limits. "Why do you not tell us ANYTHING about your life? Why is it that something has to happen so that you are FORCED into telling us? Do you not trust us?" her eyes then took a more hurt look. "Do you not trust me?"

The Abyss Watcher took a deep sigh before deciding to tell her his reason. "Because, compared to Runeterra, my old life was a never-ending nightmare," Grey replied making Ahri look at him curiously.

"My old life hasn't exactly been a happy one, too, Grey," Ahri told him crossing her arms. "I toyed with people's emotions and killed them out of hunger for their memories, how is that not bad?"

"Ahri, saying my old life was bad would be an understatement. I did and saw things that would make people like Jhin, Thresh, and Evelynn sick to the core." Grey added making Ahri look at him in worry. "THAT is why I don't share about my old life in my world. It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I want to finally move forward from the past. Right now, I want to concentrate on the present. And it is about my new life in Runeterra… with you."

Ahri blushed hearing his reasoning. She had thought that he simply didn't trust them, but now Grey told her that he simply wants to enjoy his current life with her.

The Fox Vastayan chuckled showing Grey that she was satisfied with his answer, she then playfully punched him. "I thought you don't flirt."

The Abyss Watcher looked at her curiously. "Wait, THAT was flirting? Telling the truth?"

"Not really," Ahri replied playfully as she walked into the dining hall with a confused Grey following her.

When they reached the table, the first one to speak was Tiara, "So that was a match?" she asked.

Grey nodded, "That's right. How well you do in a match depends on how well you work with the summoners."

"That explains why it took so long," she mumbled without anyone hearing. She then went into deep thoughts before talking again, "Grey, I decided."

The Abyss Watcher looked at his sister in confusion, "On what?"

"I'm joining the Inst.i.tute as well," the Dancer replied shocking her brother. Before he says anything, she looked at Brite. "How do I join?"

"You need to see the High Summoners at their chamber," The Silver Knight replied as it was nothing.

"Brite!" Grey yelled at the Warrior of Sunlight who just shrugged.

"Then that's where I'm going," Tiara said standing up. She then started walking out of the dining hall looking for the chamber.

"No, wait! Tiara!" Grey tried to stop his sister as he started following her.

They all looked surprised at the sudden decision and the attempt to stop the Dancer from making it.

Brite sighed loudly and stood up. "Well, I better follow them. If Tiara decides to kill someone, then Grey is going to need help to stop her," he said making them worried about leaving the Dancer alone.

"Yeah, I'm going, too," Ahri said as she started following the Ashnex siblings. She was mostly worried if Tiara would do something to hurt Grey.

Meanwhile, the Abyss Watcher reached his sister, who managed to find the High Summoners chamber.

"Tiara, wait!" Grey said and his sister finally listened. He stood beside his sister and took a deep breath. "Just be on your best behavior."

Tiara rolled her eyes. "Whatever, let's get this over with," she said as they both got into the chamber.

Once they were inside, the High Summoners acknowledged their presence. "Abyss Watcher, What is your business here?" asked the Ionian summoner.

"Well, I'm here to-" Grey was cut off when his sister put a hand on his shoulder.

"Let me handle this," Tiara said walking forward. By now, Ahri and Brite had already reached the chamber.

"No, wait-" Grey tried to stop his sister, but couldn't.

"Alright, listen to me you hood-wearing, spell-casting, rune-making idiots!" Tiara yelled catching everyone, except Grey and Brite, off guard.

The first to get out of their shock was the Noxian summoner. "How dare y-"

"Oh, suck a c*ck and let me finish!" Tiara cut him off glaring at him before she started looking at the rest of the High Summoners. "Now listen, I honestly do not care about the peace of Runeterra or whatever this place was meant to reserve, and I already saw at least ten champions that I know for a fact just from their looks that they don't care either. What I care about is watching over my idiot brother," she said pointing over her shoulder at Grey, who just hung his head in shame. "Now, let's get whatever test you have over with. I have better things to do than look at your wrinkly faces."

Meanwhile, Grey was face-palming while shaking his head. Brite wasn't surprised but still caught off guard.

Ahri, however, was now realizing something. 'If Grey had to put up with her his entire life, then no wonder he never felt insulted by anyone.'

(A/N: Thank you for reading this, please comment, review, and give me your thoughts on my story.)