Iron Lace Part 45

She turned back to him. "Your house?"

"Yes. Do you like what I've done with it so far?"

She didn't answer.

"Come see the inside."

"No."

"You said you'd come with me. You're not a woman who goes back on her word."

"d.a.m.n you."

The words were whispered. He felt them all the way to the bone, but he steeled himself. "Are you coming or not?"

She was coming. He saw it in her eyes. He turned and walked to the gate, and she followed. He pointed out everything he had done in a voice that didn't even sound like his. At the front door, he inserted his key and stepped inside. She stepped in behind him.

"Where's your furniture?"

"I don't have much yet." He took her through rooms, turning on floor lamps that he'd borrowed from Nicky and Jake for the nights when he worked late.

"There are three bedrooms up here," he said, when they were standing in the second floor hallway. He opened the closest door. "This is the smallest." He ushered her inside, but he leaned against the doorjamb to block an immediate retreat.

It was the only room where he'd had the painters do more than prime the walls. It was painted a soft b.u.t.tercup-yellow, and yellow-and-green curtains hung in the windows. A crib sat between them.

"I come here every night before I leave the house, and I imagine our baby in this crib. Light streams in through these windows in the morning. I can see the baby standing here, trying to catch sunbeams in a tiny little hand."

She crossed the room and stood by the crib; then she stroked one finger along the top railing. "What did you do this for, Phillip? Did you think it would change anything? That I'd think you had a change of heart?"

"You'll have to decide what to believe."

She came to stand in front of him. He didn't move. "I told you I didn't want anything. I don't want this house."

"I'm not offering it."

She lifted one regal brow in question.

"It's my house," he said. "I'm not giving it away. Not even to you. This is my home, and now that I've finally got a home, I plan to enjoy it for a lot of years."

She gave a humorless laugh. "Not your home, and not your city. Remember?"

"Not when I said that, maybe. But it's both now."

"Why? Guilt? You made a baby with me, and now you're trapped?"

"I made a baby with you, and now I'm a father. And it's not guilt I feel." He cupped her cheek with his hand. She turned her head, but his hand followed right along. "I love you, Belinda. I was just way too big a fool to understand what I was feeling. But I've loved you for a long, long time. I won't give you this house, but if you'll come and live here with me, I'll gladly share it."

She made a sound low in her throat.

He pulled her slowly forward. She resisted, and he gently urged. "Belinda..." He turned her head slowly toward his. "My clothes are hanging in that closet across the hall. I'd like to hang your clothes right next to mine. If you don't say yes, I'm going over to Claiborne and steal them, hangers and all."

"What makes you think I love you? What makes you think I want to live here and raise our child together?"

"Some things a man's just got to take on faith." He lowered his lips to hers and pulled her closer. It took her forever to yield. She came to him one inch at a time, proud and determined and everything he had ever needed in a woman.

She was as warm as he remembered, as generous with her body as she had always been with her heart. In all the weeks he had spent preparing for this moment, all the weeks when he had wondered if they still had a chance, he hadn't dared to recall exactly what it was like to hold her in his arms. Now he knew he had never forgotten.

He pulled her against him and backed into the hall. He reached behind him to turn a doork.n.o.b and pull her into their bedroom.

"Welcome home," he murmured against her lips. "You can furnish the rest of the house. But I furnished this."

She spared the room one quick look. The bed was wide and soft, and there was nothing else to see.

She turned back to him. A slow smile lit her face. "It'll do."

It was dark before they spoke again. She lay across his chest, her head perfectly molded to the hollow under his shoulder. The faint mound of her belly pressed against his hip. "I've got a story to tell you," he said.

"About Selma?"

"I'll tell you about the march later. All about it. This is something else."

"I'm listening," she said sleepily.

"It's about me. About who I am."

Much later, she stirred. Phillip had been silent for a while. She lifted her head so that he could see her face in the moonlight. Her eyes told him that she understood much more than he'd been able to put into words. "Are you going to tell your mother?"

"I think so. When the time is right."

"How are you going to know?"

"I won't know by myself. I thought maybe you'd help me decide."

She continued to stare at him. "Okay," she said at last. She nestled her head against his shoulder again and splayed her fingers over his chest. "You know I'll help if I can."

He thought that this was what marriage was going to be like. Bodies entwined and secrets shared. And a whole wide world to be part of together.

He stroked her hair until both of them fell asleep.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE.

"Rafe was thinking of you when he died," Phillip told Aurore.

She was noticeably more frail than when he had last seen her. She had remained perfectly still as he briefly related the story of Rafe's last hours to her. Her eyes were fixed on some point so distant that Phillip knew that it couldn't be inside the room.

"He told Nicky that she was the best of you both. And she is," he added.

"And she went to Paris from there." It wasn't really a question. Phillip guessed that Aurore knew the next part of the story in detail. But he outlined it anyway.

"After that night, Clarence Valentine hid her with friends for nearly a month, then he got her out of the country. He'd been offered a job at a club in Paris. Jazz was hot there, and so were American Negroes. He claimed Nicky was his granddaughter, and since most colored people were still born at home back then and didn't have birth certificates, it wasn't hard to get the authorities to believe him. Nicky says that Clarence was convinced her life was in danger because she had seen the men who killed her father. She took his name and lived the lie."

"Clarence must have been a good man."

"Nicky loved him like a grandfather."

Aurore turned to him. Her eyes glistened. "I thought your mother was dead, Phillip. It was so many years later when I discovered that she was still alive. I believed she was killed in the fire that was started that night."

"Had you been following her life in Chicago? Did you have someone watching her? Is that how you knew about the fire?"

"In a way." She took his hand. He didn't resist, but he was sharply aware of the contrasts. "My attorney located Rafe for me. You see, I had decided to join him there."

He stared at her.

"Yes." She nodded. "I had thought that when Rafe took Nicolette and left New Orleans, everything would end between us. But I was still connected to them. I woke every morning and thought only of what I'd lost. My life with Henry was a blasphemy. I tried to go on with it, but I couldn't, not while I knew there was something more waiting for me if I just had the courage to reach for it. So I wrote Rafe and asked him if he would have me. I was going to take Hugh and disappear, leave everything except my son behind. Gulf Coast. My marriage and the church. Everything. And once I made it safely to Chicago, I wanted Rafe to take us to France. We both spoke French fluently. I thought we could start over there as a family, that if we didn't find acceptance, we might find tolerance. I wrote him, and I begged him shamelessly to let me come. Then I waited."

"Did you ever receive an answer?"

She shook her head. "I don't know if he never received my letter, or if he just couldn't bring himself to tell me no. Not knowing has haunted me all my life. Spencer came to me two weeks after I mailed the letter, and he told me that Rafe had died in the riot. Spencer investigated thoroughly and discovered that your mother was never seen again after the fire that devastated the entire city block. There were bodies in the ruins that couldn't be identified...."

So many years later, and the tears were still in her voice.

Phillip sat holding Aurore's hand tightly. He wanted to comfort her, this woman who had made so many terrible mistakes. This woman. His grandmother.

"Wait..." He gripped her hand a little harder. "Mrs. Gerritsen..."

"You'll never find it in your heart to call me Aurore, will you?"

"My grandfather-" the t.i.tle came easily to his lips now "-got your letter. I'm sure of it. And he was making plans to have you join him."

"What do you mean?"

Phillip thought carefully about Nicky's story. Her last encounter with her father had been so clear to her. She had held on to it the way that Rafe himself had held on to his memory of Marcelite and Angelle and the way they had died. And when Nicky had told him about the day of Rafe's death, she had told the story in detail.

"The night that my grandfather died, he told my mother that they were leaving Chicago for good, for a place where they could finally be happy. Then he asked her if she would trust him to do what was best for her. But he asked her in French. She told me that. It stood out for her, and she remembered it all those years, because after they left New Orleans they had only spoken English at home. I think my grandfather was preparing her for the trip to France. With you."

Her hand trembled. She looked away.

"And when he died, he told my mother that she was the best of both of you. He was thinking of you then, and what the two of you had created together."

They sat in silence. Finally, much later, she sighed; it was a long, broken sound. "I've had a long life."

"Yes, you have."

"Will you stay here in the city for a while longer, Phillip? Will you hear about the rest of it?"

"You haven't told me everything you want me to know?"

She turned to look at him. Her pale blue eyes glistened, but there were no tears on her cheeks. "I would like you to know everything. I would like to leave you that much."

"I'll be staying in the city."

She inclined her head. "Will you?"

"I'm getting married. By late summer I'll be a father."

She squeezed his hand. "We made a bargain, you and I. Will you honor it?"

He smiled. "You're some old lady, you know that?"

She smiled, too, and for a moment, he saw the young woman his grandfather had fallen in love with. "Rafe would have been proud of you," she whispered.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was cool and soft against his lips. "I hope so, Aurore."

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

This book never would have been completed without the help of some special people. My thanks to the staffs of the New Orleans Public Library, Tulane University Library, the University of New Orleans Library and the Cuyahoga County Library in Bay Village, Ohio. Also thanks go to the staff of the New Orleans Collection, who enjoy researching even the most esoteric questions about their beautiful city.

Many thanks to two New Orleanians, the reverends Melanie Morel and Albert D'Orlando, who over a period of years shared with me their riveting personal stories about race relations and the civil-rights movement in Louisiana.

I read so many wonderful books on New Orleans and south Louisiana that it's difficult to choose only a few to acknowledge here. The works of Lafcadio Hearn, Harnett Kane and Kate Chopin fueled my imagination. Works about the hurricane of 1893 by Dale Rogers and Loulan Pitre helped me ground my imagination in history, as did Storyville Storyville by Al Rose and by Al Rose and Satchmo Satchmo by Louis Armstrong. by Louis Armstrong. Righteous Lives Righteous Lives by Kim Rogers gave me a greater understanding of those pivotal years when courageous African-Americans refused to sit at the back of the bus for even one more day. by Kim Rogers gave me a greater understanding of those pivotal years when courageous African-Americans refused to sit at the back of the bus for even one more day.

Thanks to my agent Maureen Moran, who believed in this book from the beginning. Thanks to Damaris Rowland and Amy Moore, whose enthusiasm helped renew my own at different points on this journey. Thanks to my editor Leslie Wainger and Dianne Moggy for their hard work and skillful guidance.

Personal thanks go to Karen Stone and Erica Spindler for their encouragement when this book was just a flicker in my imagination. And to Alison Hart, Jasmine Cresswell and Jan Powell, who helped keep me on track as I struggled to bring that flicker to life. Many thanks to Karen Harper for her enthusiasm and support.

Most of all, thanks to my children, Shane, Jessie, Galen and Brendan, who did without mothering every now and then during the writing of this book. And most particularly to my husband, Michael, whose enthusiasm for New Orleans rivals my own, and whose enthusiasm for me never flags, even through the most difficult of times.

Also by Emilie Richards