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"Well," Mattern said, "Lyddy's waited so long, she can wait a little longer. Things worth having are waiting for."
Under Njeri's tutelage, Mattern cultivated the arts and the amenities. As he used his ship for a permanent residence, it was there that he housed his growing collection of costly rare objects of art, and library, notable for its first editions not only of tapes, but of books. His uniforms were cut by the best terrestrial tailors and he took kinescope courses in the liberal arts and social forms from the outstanding universities of Earth. The provincial tw.a.n.g vanished from his speech; he developed a taste for wine and conversation. n.o.body, seeing him, could ever have fancied him once a poor wizened s.p.a.ce rat.
As the years went by, he grew to become as much of a ruler in his way as the mbretersha in hers. She ruled one planet, he told himself, but he had a business empire farflung over many planets all of which, to some extent, he did rule through his investments. He would have worlds to lay at Lyddy's feet now, he thought complacently. No man could offer any woman more.
The first Hesperian Queen didn't have a chance to last out his life-he kept trading her in for a better model and yet another model, as better, faster, more luxurious starships were developed. Finally, he outbid the Federation Government itself for plans of the latest model s.p.a.cecraft. When the government protested, he graciously gave them copies free of all charge. "I merely wanted to be sure that I had the bestship available," he explained. "I have no objection to your having it also. But I knew that you could not afford to be as generous as I can."
He never had more than one ship, because it was too dangerous to run more than one cargo at a time. His crew was always as small in number as possible. He would have preferred none at all; actually, all s.p.a.ceships could run themselves, for the controls were completely automatic. But regulations said there had to be a crew, both for the sake of "face" many extraterrestrials couldn't seem to recognize the authority of machines and because a power failure was not inconceivable.
So the Hesperian Queen carried four men. And, whenever she made the jump through hypers.p.a.ce, even the crew though conditioned on Earth was drugged.
Mattern carried on alone. And if, when the crewmen awakened, they found that a day had pa.s.sed when only an hour should have gone by, they knew better than to ask questions.
So the years went by busy, pleasant, profitable years. The image of Lyddy was always before him, inspiring him to further efforts. Someday soon I will go back to her, he would tell himself. On his latest birthday, he looked in the mirror closely. At twenty-four, he had appeared forty; at forty, he could have pa.s.sed for thirty. Sixteen years had gone by since that night with Lyddy. Now he was worthy of her or anyone.
"I think it's time I went back for her," he told the kqyres.
"For whom?" the kqyres asked; then added hastily, "Oh, yes, of course, Lyddy.
We'll do that right after we come back from the Vega System. There's a little Earth-type planet out there"
"Before we go to Vega," Mattern interrupted. "Now."
"But why the hurry? You've waited so long already."
"I've waited too long. I'm not young any more."
"Neither is she," observed the kqyres. "Perhaps she is too old now, Mattern."
"She can't be too old," Mattern said. The tri-di in his locker was Lyddy, and the picture was young; therefore, Lyddy must still be young.
"She may have married someone else. She may have numerous children cl.u.s.tering about her knee."
"Then I will take her away from her husband and children," Mattern declared. "Can you imagine that a little thing like that would stop me?"
"She may have lost her beauty," the kqyres said. "She may have left Hesperia. She may have suffered a disfiguring accident."
Mattern realized then that Njeri was deliberately trying to keep him from going backto Lyddy. Either he felt that she would interfere with the smooth operation of their business, or he was jealous of a third intruding into their company.
"I have done everything I did for the sake of winning Lyddy," Mattern said, biting off the word. "If all hope of her is gone, then my whole reason for working with you is gone. I will never go back to hypers.p.a.ce."
"There are other women"
"Not for me!"
"The business itself means nothing to you?" There was an aggrieved note in the kqyres' voice.
"It's just a living," Mattern said, "just a way of getting Lyddy. You know that was why I went into it. I thought you'd been listening to me all these years."
"I thought perhaps with the deepening of your interests"
"They have only made me love her the more profoundly."
The kqyres took the equivalent of a deep breath. "You do not have a house or any regular place of residence. You cannot expect a lady to live permanently on a s.p.a.ceship."
"I will build her a house."
"Will it not show her how carefully you have prepared for her if, first, you build her a palace worthy"
"I have no time to build palaces.
"There is a tiny planet that circles the dim sun you call Van Maanen's star," the alien persisted. "It is always twilight there. The beings who live on that planet build crystal towers miles high and as fragile as spun gla.s.s, in dusk colors the rainbow never dreamed of."
"If she wants a crystal tower, I will have one built for her. But first I will ask her."
"Very well," the kqyres sighed, "since nothing else will satisfy you, let us return and fetch her."
And when they got to Erytheia City, Lyddy was still there, not only unmarried, but in spite of all the years unchanged.
VII.
And now Mattern had been her husband for several months. He had begun to know her, and he realized that she could never be let known the truth about his life and his work. She would be frightened, and, if there was any emotion left over her, angry.He told the kqyres: "I've been thinking of taking Lyddy to Burdon. She might find distractions there that will take her mind off things it shouldn't be on. What do you think of the idea?"
"I cannot tell," the kqyres replied doubtfully. "I have a curious feeling..."
"That what?" Mattern prompted him anxiously. It was the first time he had seen the kqyres definitely at a loss, although it had seemed to him of recent months that the xhind's a.s.surance was beginning to ebb.
"...that I am getting too old for my work," the kqyres finished.
"Nonsense!" Mattern cried. The kqyres was his tower of strength; he would not conceive of any weakness in him. It would mean that he would be forced to rely upon himself. And yet, he thought, I am certainly old and experienced enough by now to begin relying upon myself. In fact, I'm getting a little old and tired, too.
"You know," he said to his partner, "maybe we both ought to retire."
"What do you mean?"
"You've been at this long enough and I've got all the money I want. We can see each other sometimes; no reason why I couldn't go into hypers.p.a.ce just to visit."
The kqyres paled to pearl. "Now that you have Lyddy, you don't want anything else at all?"
"Now that I have Lyddy, what else is there to want?"
The kqyres flickered anxiously. "But the mbretersha has commanded"
Mattern smiled. "Her commands don't hold good in this universe. You know that.
When I was a kid, she could fool me into believing she had a hold over me. But the hold is a psychological one; that's the only thing that could carry over from universe to universe. And I'm strong enough to break it now."
Although he was not quite serious, it might be, he thought, that the hypers.p.a.ce trade and the trips to Ferr had spoiled him for everyday life, made him too restless for the mundanities of any world. And it was time for him to settle down now.
He let the kqyres win the game, and then he stood up. "I'd better start getting things ready for the trip to Burdon."
"You've definitely decided to go?"
"Yes," Mattern said, pleased with himself, "definitely."
He went to the control room and got out the forms that would need to be filled out before the ship could leave port. Suddenly he remembered his puzzlement about the young s.p.a.ceman what was his name? Raines? He pressed a b.u.t.ton on the file,and the boy's records flashed up at him. They seemed to be in order. Raines, aged twenty-five, born on Earth, well and good. But born on Earth ... Mattern was positive that could never have been, not from the way the young man spoke. And one false statement meant that the whole record was false.
However, he could not challenge the discrepancy before they left for Capella. If he spoke to Raines, he'd probably have to dismiss him then and there. It would be difficult to find a suitable replacement in Erytheia City. He might have to send for someone from Earth, which would take months, perhaps a year. First he'd take the Queen to Burdon, he decided, and then he would fire Raines.
Nearly three weeks went by before they could leave. Mattern found himself looking forward with some impatience to Burdon. When Lyddy had a house of her own that she could take an interest in, he told himself, things would be different; she would be different. This way she was bored much of the time, and boredom is contagious.
"I've 'vised ahead to Capella, dear," he told her as they boarded ship, "and rented a furnished multiplex, so we'll have some place to stay.
"Yes, honey" she said, with a strange lack of interest. She didn't even seem surprised at the size of the ship. Underneath her elaborate makeup, she was pale; her body was trembling. She saw that an explanation was necessary. "It's been so long since I made the jump. Silly of me to be so nervous, but you do hear things about hypers.p.a.ce..."
"You're safer in my ship than anywhere else."
"Yes, I know." Was she merely expressing trust in him, or was there more to her words than that?
At first he was just vaguely suspicious. Then, the second day out, he noticed that Lyddy and Raines seemed to be together a good deal more of the time than chance would account for, and his suspicions secured a focus. The two had some kind of unspoken understanding, he thought, watching them as much out of curiosity as anger. I have become chilled with the years of alien company, he thought. I am incapable of true pa.s.sion; perhaps that is what she seeks in another.
But, though he might find excuses for her, he would not condone her. A bargain was a bargain. At the end of the first week, he said to her one evening, as he sat on the edge of the bed, watching her brush her long, thick gilded hair, "Darling, I'm a little worried about one of my crewmen."
Lyddy didn't turn from the jeweled dressing table he'd had especially installed for her. "Which one?" she asked.
"Young Raines. Do you know which he is?"
"Yes." She paused. "There's only one young one. Why are you worried about him?
Do you think he's sick or something?" But that was the question she should haveasked before asking the man's ident.i.ty.
Mattern let a moment elapse, then said, "His papers appear to be forged."
He glanced at the reflection of her face, but it held neither relief nor fear, merely its usual sweet emptiness. "Maybe he needed a job real bad," she said.
"Maybe," her husband agreed, "but why use forged papers?"
"He might of gotten into some kind of trouble you know how boys are."
"I'd hardly care to employ the kind of s.p.a.ceman who gets into trouble serious enough for him to lose his papers. You have to do something pretty drastic to get them taken away, you know."
She said nothing.
He went on, "What I'm beginning to suspect is that he isn't really a trained s.p.a.ceman at all, that he didn't go to any of the Earth s.p.a.ce schools."
"Do you have to go to an Earth s.p.a.ce school to be a s.p.a.ceman? Can't you study somewhere else?"
"Earth's the only place where they give the conditioning." He told the truth, figuring she wouldn't understand.
She turned to look at him. "That's so the men shouldn't see the things outside when they go through hypers.p.a.ce, isn't it?"
Mattern was somewhat taken aback. "How did you know? It's not public information."
She shrugged and turned back to the dressing table. "I've known a lot of s.p.a.cemen, hon."
Her face was pale, but why just now? He wondered just what Raines had told her how much the boy actually knew. Naturally there could be only one possible reason he had chosen Lyddy as his confidante.
"There's something between you and Raines, isn't there?" he asked.
There was a slight delay. Then her laughter shrilled through the cabin. "Don't be silly, hon; I hardly know the man! All I've done was speak to him a couple of times!" She got up and put her soft arms around her husband. "You're jealous, Len," she said, and there was complacency mixed with the fright in her eyes.
He felt a pang of disgust, but tried not to let it show. Gently, he put her away from him.
"But that's so silly," she murmured. "How could I prefer a dumb pimply kid to you?"In theory, that was quite true, but Len knew women had strange tastes. And possibly "a dumb pimply kid" had more to offer her emotionally and, in reverse, intellectually, than he had. It was not impossible that she was telling the truth, but Mattern could not, of course, believe her. And there was no point in making a further issue of it now. When they reached Burdon, he would fire Raines simply on the basis of the forged papers. No need to bring Lyddy into it at all. So that problem would be easily solved, but what of the others?
He went to play chess with the kqyres. "I trust you have got over your whimsical notion to retire," the xhind said hopefully.
"No," Len told him maliciously, "I've practically made up my mind to quit. There doesn't seem to be any point to it any more."
"The woman has changed! That's the whole trouble, isn't it? Even though it's not apparent, in some way she has changed?"
"No," Len said again, "she hasn't changed at all. In fact, I think that's what the trouble is. She hasn't changed, but I have."
"I never thought of that," the kqyres confessed.
The night of the jump, Mattern turned in at the kqyres' suggestion. "For once, your men can take care of the ship," the xhind said, "since there will be no trading stop."
Lyddy would be drugged, but Mattern would not need drugs, for hypers.p.a.ce held no more horrors for him. Or so he thought.
But that night he was awakened by the sound of a screaming so hideous that, if he hadn't known voices don't change during the hyperjump, he would be tempted to think it was one result of the law of mutability so monstrous were these shrill, worse-than-animal cries.
He rushed out of his cabin. In the corridor stood Lyddy, still screaming, her face so contorted with terror that only the sight of Alard Raines standing there in his normal shape let Mattern know that they had already pa.s.sed the jump.
The shrieking separated into words. "I saw it! It was horrible!" And she made an ugly noise in her throat. "You were right, Alard. It's true! There's a monster on board and it did something awful to me..." Her voice ebbed to a bubble as she looked down at her body beneath the thin veil of fabric and found the same voluptuous curves she had started out with.
Mattern sighed. "Better come into my cabin, Lyddy." And then he jerked his head at Raines. "You come, too." He paused in the doorway when he saw there was no need for privacy. "Where are the other crewmen?"
"Asleep," Raines said. "Drugged. As usual. Who do you think you're fooling, anyway?"Mattern was too disturbed at the news to take notice of the boy's manner. "But they weren't supposed to be drugged this trip! And who's in charge then? You?"
Raines flushed and struggled to p.r.o.nounce the word he wanted to use in return.
'Your kek kqyres, I'd say, is in charge. Like he always has been," he concluded triumphantly.
Mattern shut the cabin door behind the three of them. Lyddy went over and sat down on the edge of the bunk, quieter now that she found her personal transformation had been ephemeral. Seeing a monster is not, after all, anywhere near as bad as being a monster. Her fright dimmed and was outshone by a strong sense of personal injury.
"I thought all Alard's talk of kek-kek-monsters was just superst.i.tion," she babbled, "but it's true. I saw that thing with my own eyes and it's hideous! Len, why do you have it on board, especially when I'm here?"
"I have to," Len said. "He's my partner."