In Shady Grove: About That Night Part 30

"No."

Gracie released the breath she'd been holding. "Oh. Well, don't worry. I'm sure you'll work things out soon."

She tried to go around him but he shifted, blocking her escape. "I don't want to get back together with her. Wait. Is that what this is about? You think I'm still into Kennedy? Are you...are you jealous?"

"Of course not," Gracie said quickly. She'd meant to sound adamant. Instead she'd come across as desperate.

And dishonest.

She'd never, not once, been envious of another girl. Had always believed everyone was special in their own way and the only way to happiness was to be true to yourself.

She knew perfectly well who she was. A cute girl with a unique sense of style, wild hair and a quick, inquisitive mind. Not a bad combination, all in all.

But at the coffee shop, standing next to Kennedy she'd felt...inferior. As if she was somehow lacking.

And though she knew it wasn't fair, she blamed Luke.

"Then what is it?" Luke asked, clearly frustrated. "What did I do?"

You kissed me, then told your ex-girlfriend we were just friends. You made me like you, made me think you were different.

"You used me," she told him, linking her hands together.

"What?"

"You. Used. Me. You knew Kennedy worked at the coffee shop, so you brought me there to...I don't know...upset her. Get under her skin." No way would Gracie believe he'd thought seeing them together would make Kennedy jealous. "Or at least so you could accidentally run into her."

"I didn't. I swear. I didn't even know she worked there. I took you there because I thought maybe if we were somewhere public, it would be easier to, you know, talk about what happened at my sister's, talk about our...our friendship, if there were other people around."

He sounded so sincere. His gaze was earnest and a blush climbed his cheeks. She wanted to believe him but was afraid to. "Even if that's true, it doesn't matter. As soon as you saw Kennedy, it was like a switch flipped and you became someone else. Then you went completely overboard about my mixed-up coffee order and it was so obvious you still have feelings for her and I was just..." Hurt. Alone, yet again. "...caught in the middle." Gracie lifted her chin. "I didn't like being put in that position so I left."

"I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. Can you forgive me?"

It scared her how much she wanted to. But she still had some pride. Not as much as she should, perhaps, but enough to protect herself. "It doesn't matter."

He stepped closer, his voice low. "It matters to me."

She sighed. Looked as if that little bit of pride wasn't going to be enough after all. She nodded. "I forgive you."

He grinned, his shoulders relaxing. "Thank you. Hey, are you busy after work? We could get a bite to eat. Somewhere far away from the coffee shop."

She turned and picked up the tub cleaner. "I can't. Conner has a T-ball game tonight."

"Oh. Well, I could go with you and we could do something after."

She tapped the cleaner against her thigh. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

Because she didn't want to be his friend. Couldn't go on pretending she thought of him as a buddy. It was too hard. Too confusing. She knew how this scenario would play out. He'd eventually go out with some other girl or get back with Kennedy, leaving Gracie feeling like a fool for hoping he'd fall for her.

For waiting for him.

"I don't think we should hang out anymore," she said, almost wishing she was the type of person who could lie easily and well.

His eyes narrowed. "I said I was sorry, Gracie."

"That has nothing to do with-"

"Is this some game? Because I had enough of those with Kennedy."

"This isn't a game." She was proud of how calm she sounded. How mature. "I've just realized that it's not in my best interest to be your friend."

"Look, I screwed up," he said. "It won't happen again."

"It's not that. It's everything. We're too different." Hadn't she known that from the beginning? She should have listened to her instincts. "And you're going through a lot of...stuff right now...with the breakup and everything-"

"Which is exactly why I could use a good friend," he said taking her hand.

With tears clogging her throat, she tugged herself free. "I understand that. I do. But I...I just can't be that person for you. I'm sorry."

He studied her, his mouth flat, his gaze hooded. Then he shook his head. "Whatever." He turned and walked away but stopped in the hall, his voice soft. "I thought you were different."

She wanted to call him back. To explain all her doubts and fears. But in order to do that, she'd have to tell him her doubts. Her fears. She'd have to lay her soul bare and tell him how she really felt.

And she wasn't brave enough to do that. Not after what Andrew had done to her.

Maybe not ever again.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.

SO FAR, SO GOOD.

It had been over three weeks since the weekend Ivy had asked Clinton to help her with the crib and told him about feeling the baby move. He came to Shady Grove every Friday night, stayed until Sunday evening. And while it was impossible to spend every moment together-she did have to work-they managed to have plenty of time together. More, certainly, than she'd ever spent with any other man.

And still, she never got tired of him. Always looked forward to seeing him again. To talking to him every night when he was in Houston. Getting to know each other while living in two different states took a h.e.l.l of a lot of effort, but it had been worth it. She hadn't thought it possible, given the initial mistrust between her and Clinton, but things were now going well. Really, really well.

And they hadn't even slept together again.

Wiping down the kitchen counters at Bradford House, Ivy found herself humming. Good Lord, she was happy. The baby moved, a rolling sensation that never ceased to thrill and amaze her, and she rubbed her swollen stomach. "Yeah, I know. You're happy, too. I'm glad."

Things were going so well, she knew it was only a matter of time before it ended. At some point it was all going to come crashing down. Such was life. But until that moment, she would enjoy this. Enjoy spending time with a handsome, smart, interesting man. Enjoy the illusion that, for the first time in her life, she wasn't alone.

She turned to rinse the dishcloth and saw Gracie standing in the doorway. Ivy jumped and slapped her hand over her heart. "You scared the c.r.a.p out of me!"

"Sorry," Gracie said, her small smile a pale imitation of her usual sunny grin. "I didn't want to disturb you. You looked so happy. Though I'm not sure you should ever hum like that or, G.o.d forbid, sing out loud to the baby. It could scar the poor thing for life. Unless, of course, you meant to sound flat and out of key?"

"Why would anyone try to sound bad?"

"Beats me. I just didn't want to a.s.sume you're really that horrible at something as simple as humming. No offense."

Ivy set the dishcloth aside to be put in the laundry later. "Saying no offense doesn't actually stop someone from being offended after they've been insulted. You know that, right?"

"Is it really an insult if it's the truth?"

"You bet." But Ivy wasn't really upset. She already knew she couldn't carry a tune. Even her grade school music teacher had asked her to please lip sync along to their songs so as not to upset the rest of the kids. "Was there a reason you're sneaking up on me, besides trying to send me to an early grave?"

"I finished the housekeeping. Could you tell Fay I'm leaving a little early today? I'm going to Pittsburgh to see a Pirates game."

"I hadn't realized you were a baseball fan."

"I'm not, but my brothers are, and Dad and Molly need all the help they can get, taking five kids to the ballpark."

"Just five?"

"My grandma's watching the baby."

"You should ask Luke to go with you."

Gracie stiffened, her smile now seeming forced. "Why would I do that?"

"Because he's hot," Ivy said, ticking the reasons off on her fingers, "he's sweet and funny, and you're into him."

"I have no idea what that's supposed to mean."

"No need for the snooty tone, kiddo. I have eyes. And yours follow him whenever you're in the same room."

"It's purely physical," Gracie said, her face red. "He's very good-looking, so of course I look. But I don't want to...to date him or anything."

"Why not?" Ivy had worked with Luke quite a few times this summer. The teen was smart, polite and reliable. Gracie could do much worse. And Luke would be lucky to be with a girl like her.

Gracie rubbed her thumbnail along the edge of the counter. "I'm just...not interested in him that way. That's all."

"Okay," Ivy said, drawing the word out. Not for the first time, she thought something was off about Gracie. There had been for the past few weeks or so, but every time Ivy broached the subject, the teen clammed up. "Did something happen between you and Luke?"

"No."

And that had been said too quickly, too loudly for Ivy to believe it. "Are you sure? Because when he first started working here, it seemed as if you two were friends. Now you barely speak to him."

"Nothing happened," Gracie snapped, which was so unlike her that Ivy could only stare. "Could you please just tell Fay I'm leaving?"

"Sure. But I doubt she'll care. She's gone already." Fay and the boys were spending a week in the Caribbean with her parents, her older brother, Neil Pett.i.t, his fiancee, Maddie Montesano, and their thirteen-year-old daughter, Bree. Neil, a professional hockey player and Bradford House's owner, was footing the entire bill.

Ivy might consider being envious that Fay had a relative ready, willing and able to provide luxurious vacations if she weren't in a relationship with a man wealthy enough to buy his own island.

She frowned. No. She and Clinton weren't in a relationship. They were seeing where things went between them. Taking things one day at a time. That was all. No labels. No promises.

From either of them.

"They left already?" Gracie asked. "I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."

"Fay was a bit frazzled trying to get the boys to cooperate and pack for all three of them. I'm sure she meant to see you before she left but just ran out of time."

Gracie gave an irritable shrug. "Whatever."

Ivy did a double take. "Did you just whatever me?"

"Of course not." Gracie frowned thoughtfully. "Did I?"

"I'm afraid so." She wished Gracie would open up to her, but maybe that wasn't her place. "Look, whatever's bothering you-"

"Nothing's bothering me."

"Whatever it is," Ivy repeated, crossing to take Gracie's hands, "I just want to let you know that if you ever want someone to talk to, I'm here for you. You just... You haven't been yourself lately," she continued quietly. "I'm worried about you."

Gracie's lower lip trembled and she swallowed visibly. "I'm sorry."

Ivy hugged her. "Don't be sorry. I want to help."

"I appreciate that," Gracie said with a sniff, hugging Ivy back. "I do. But I think I need to figure this out on my own."

Ivy leaned back. "Are you sure?"

Gracie nodded, her eyes bright with tears. "I am. But thanks. And thanks for being such a good friend."

Ivy smiled. Tugged playfully on one of Gracie's curls. "Thank you for giving me a chance to be one."

Gracie had been the first person to do so. But Ivy was honest enough to realize she shouldered part of the blame for that. She'd put up barriers to keep herself from ever getting hurt. And now, thanks to Gracie and Fay and especially Clinton, those barriers were starting to crumble.

Ivy just hoped they didn't crush her as they fell.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN YOURSELF.

Gracie's hands tightened on the steering wheel of her dad's truck as she drove down Brookline Drive. As much as she had wanted to ignore Ivy's concerns and her words, she hadn't been able to. On the contrary, she'd thought of little else over the past two days.

She'd always prided herself on being true to who she was, no matter what other people thought. Had, at times, taken too much satisfaction in being different. Had felt so superior to other girls her age because she hadn't fallen prey to teenage stereotypes. No moodiness or jealousy. No cattiness or angst.

She snorted. So much for that.