I Will Return Again Chapter 1

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(TN: OK I know this is going to be a bit jarring, nonsensical, strange, dissociative, and about a dozen other things. It’s not going to make much sense at first, so just hang in there. Try to keep in mind that parts of the novel are written as if the MC is holding a conversation with you.)

Oh, test the mic? Ah... Test, 1, 2... Is the sound okay? Like this? Huh? You want me to talk? Okay. Sea cuc.u.mber looks gross, but it tastes great. Anyway…

h.e.l.lo and welcome everyone. I don't know how to do this, so I really don’t like it. No, No, No. That's it. I don't know how this happened to me, but I don't have to tell you about it. You don't have rub salt in a person's wound. Okay, so let’s break it up! No? You want to talk?

So I have to talk about my past? If I get something instead of talking at least, I might be willing. What? You want to give this to me? Seriously? I won’t return it later, so are you sure? Oh, thank you! Wow, it's a sea urchin model. Let's decorate the room. This is what happened.

(TN: Umm….Yes, the MC has a thing for sea urchins.)

Well, I got a present and I feel better. Okay. Let's talk about me, my clothes, or pretty much anything. What's wrong, Mii-chan? I'm sorry. It hurts! It hurts! What is it Mii-chan? Why are you pulling my arm? Such a scary face. What? Why do you have those? Oh, right, I understand. I'll be careful from now on. I promise. Can you give me my panties now?

[Ahem] I'm sorry. Mii... Onee-chan suddenly told me she wanted to see the sea urchin model. What now? Why are you so angry? Just because I started to say your name? Don’t make me throw a sea urchin at you!

Now where was I? The story of when I was a man? What about it? You don't really want to hear that, do you?

Well, it's the story of how I studied so hard and pa.s.sed the exam for the university I wanted or the story of the tears of my best friend when he was told I had gone to study abroad. Ah, yes. I don't need to hear it either.

Alright, I got it. Okay, I understand. Then, I will talk about becoming a woman. d.a.m.n!

　◇◆◇◆

It is April and for those of us who are still studying hard and trying to enjoying our youth, it is a happy spring vacation day.

I woke up. It was a light, refreshing awakening, like when you look at the serene blue sky outside the window, without the heavy feeling of being ill from yesterday.

I feel my forehead to see if there are still remnants of my fever. Good. My fever is going down. Feel much lighter than yesterday, almost as if how I felt until yesterday was a lie. Thankfully, it seems I’m finally starting to feel better after a week. I kick off my quilt with both feet, but it didn’t go near as far as I thought it would. In fact, it fell right next to the bed.

The quilt felt very heavy. I wonder, but I'm sure it was just because I’ve been sweating. I’ll need to remember to hang it out to dry on the porch later.

I glance at the digital clock. April 1st, 8:55am. So today starts the new fiscal year? I don’t know what caused my fever, but at least it’s gone. However, it’s a horrible waste of a week of my valuable spring break. Time is money and all that.

I feel all sticky, due to sweating so much. Well, I don’t feel too bad, so let's go take a shower. I get out of bed and head downstairs to the bathroom. I see some glossy, beautiful fiber-like things every time I step down the stairs. I wonder if my clothes have become frayed. Although, I don’t remember the cloth being this fine or glossy? Not to mention my chest feels heavy. It feels like my skin is being pulled down slightly. Hmm… Is this gravity that is pulling on me? Gravity seems to be slightly stronger today. What was the unit of gravity acceleration? Whatever, it’s not as if I really care.

I go down to the first floor and head to the dressing room. There’s already someone in there, my sister Miyuki. Mii-chan looks as if she has just woken up, as she is still in her pajamas. She’s brushing her teeth while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Good morning Mii-chan. Eh? Ah. Huh?” (Tsutomu)

That’s strange. My voice was rather high pitched like the girls and didn’t sound like me at all. I put my hand on my throat and wonder what is wrong.

“What the h.e.l.l?” (Tsutomu)

Buddha died. He’s been with me since p.u.b.erty. He was 5 years-old and he’s now dead. Recently, I've come to revere him. Rest in peace.

The Adam's apple is not very important, but it's symbolic of a man.

Okay, calm down. Don't worry, I’m a normal, serious young man. I just recently pa.s.sed the exam for a well-known university.

After my brain starts working again, I see Mii-chan standing there with her mouth hanging open and toothpaste dribbling out.

“Hey Mii-chan, close your mouth. You’re making a mess.” (Tsutomu)

I point this out as her older brother, after all she’s in high school now.

Her black hair that should have been shoulder length is s.h.a.ggy and her adorable drooping eyes are now wide open. Her height seems about average for a girl. She has curves where she should and doesn’t where she shouldn’t (Miyuki says).

What’s wrong with Miyuki? She didn’t respond at all to what I said and acting as if she had seen a ghost. Of course, I’m the only other person here.

“What's wrong, Mii-chan?” (Tsutomu)

I step closer to Miyuki and look up at her face. Hmm? What? Up? That’s strange. I shouldn’t need to look up at Miyuki. I’m 172cm. Like this Miyuki would be over 180cm. I know that can’t be right though, when you compare her against the height of the sink. In short, the only other option is that I’ve shrunk.

That shouldn’t be possible, but considering the facts of Miyuki's reaction and how odd I have been feeling since I woke up, the answer should naturally come to light. I have to face the reality that I keep trying to deny. Just stop thinking and look.

There aren’t any fibers on my shoulder, it’s silver hair and I’m quite sure it's mine, because it hurts when I pull it. There are two bulges on the chest which are soft, elastic to the touch, and pull on me. There’s a slim, neatly-defined waist, where I had none before, and finally, there’s no longer a prize to be found in my pants.

Gah…

My mind just keeps going in circles, even though I somehow already knew what had happened. I just refused to go there, because I didn’t want to admit that this was all real.

“You, your my Onii-chan, right?” (Miyuki)

Miyuki says looking and pointing at me with her hand trembling. h.e.l.l, I want to shake too!

“Maybe, I’m supposed to be Mii-chan’s brother.” (Tsutomu)

I’m more than a little confused though. Was I remade by an alien or something when I was asleep? Am I a clone? Even though it’s unlikely, to the point of being a statistical zero in probability.

“Okay, so do you want to ask me some questions only your brother could answer?” (Tsutomu)

“Okay, sure.” (Miyuki)

Miyuki said nodding, acting unexpectedly calm.

“What's my brother’s name?” (Miyuki)

“Tsutomu, Yoshina Tsutomu” (Tsutomu)

“What is the name of the high school my brother went to until last year?” (Miyuki)

“Lotus Pond Private High School” (Tsutomu)

“What does my brother like more than anything else?” (Miyuki)

“Sea Urchin’s.” (Tsutomu)

“What does my brother dislike the most?” (Miyuki)

“It starts with an ‘R’ and if you see one there’re a hundred. They are black, shiny, and rustle when crawling.” (Tsutomu)

“What are our mother and father like?” (Miyuki)

“Mother is a weirdo. Dad's a hard worker.” (Tsutomu)

“Onii-chan!” (Miyuki)

Miyuki says smiling brightly. I seem to have gained her trust.

“Onii-chan, how did this happen?” (Miyuki)

“That’s what I would like to know.” (Tsutomu)

I sigh and drop my shoulders. Miyuki puts her hand on my head and rubs gently.

“What are you doing?” (Tsutomu)

“Eh? Well, you are just so cute.” (Miyuki)

What? Miyuki started gently rubbing my head like I’m a little kid. What is with this loose mood? This is a serious problem.

“Mii-chan that’s enough.” (Tsutomu)

“What?” (Miyuki)

Miyuki replies somewhat indignantly. What is so good about rubbing my head?

“What is this? What's happened me?” (Tsutomu)

“I don't know. Hmm. There's a mirror, so you can see for yourself.” (Miyuki)

"No, I’m not prepared yet. Is it hard to look at me?" (Tsutomu)

“What do you mean?” (Miyuki)

“Not yet!” (Tsutomu)

Miyuki takes my face between her hands and forces me to face the mirror. The girl reflected there was slightly more pet.i.te than Miyuki. She looks to be very eye-catching and attractive with long silver hair and heterochromatic eyes, one is red and one is blue, in a country where black hair and eyes are predominate.

She has a somewhat strange expression on her face. Even so, she is still extremely cute.

I move my hand toward the mirror, pointing at the girl, and she mirrors every gesture I make.

“Who is this?” (Tsutomu)

“It’s you, of course…” (Miyuki)

“Wait a minute.” (Tsutomu)

Although I understand what Miyuki said, I’m still confused and I’m afraid my heart will break if she continues with what she was saying. I need to calm down, so I close my eyes, take a deep breath, then slowly exhale and open my eyes.

It was inevitable. The girl with silver hair and heterochromatic eyes is still there. Well, what did I expect? Reality isn’t going to change just because I closed my eyes. ‘I have to fight, this is reality!’ However, if this is reality, I just fought enough to say I truly hate the university entrance exam I just pa.s.sed. Enough of this already. Really, there is no G.o.d or Buddha. Alright? Ugh!

I’m so confused and Miyuki is looking at me strangely. I need to say something before it changes into something more akin to suspicion. Okay, calm down, act normally, calm down, act normally. All right.

“Are you crying?” (Miyuki)

This has to be a mistake. On top of that I’m crying in front of Miyuki, which dyes my cheeks red with embarra.s.sment.

“No. [Hic] No, I’m not…[Hic]” (Tsutomu)

Miyuki steps close to hug me. Ah, I can’t deal with this anymore.

“Onii-chan?” (Miyuki)

“Oh, yes sweetie, this seems to be me.” (Tsutomu)

(TN: This is said in j.a.panglish.)

“Yeah! Yeah!” (Miyuki)

Miyuki says while repeatedly touching me each time she says it. What does she think she’s doing?

After touching me several times, she seems to grow tired of it and stops while I seem to have calmed down a little by then.

“Anyway...” (Tsutomu)

There is no way to escape from reality indefinitely. Don't run away. I have to move forward. I pressed my fist to my chest and swallow hard from the tension. Finally, I ask…

“Who is this silver-haired girl?” (Tsutomu)

“Onii-chan, you already know the answer.” (Miyuki)

I hear a thunderous crack echoing in my mind; it was the sound of my heart breaking.