I Found My Heart In San Francisco: Karma Part 8

"I wanna believe that," Ryan sobbed. "I can see you as an adorable little old lady, but I never have an image of myself like that." She started to cry even harder and said, "I don't want to leave you alone, Jamie."

"You can change the way you think about this, Ryan. This is just your fear talking." She lifted her hands and grasped Ryan's face, gazing deeply into her eyes. "Visualize this with me," she begged. Sighing, Ryan closed her eyes and listened to Jamie's voice soothe her soul. "It's 2075, and we're getting ready for your big 100th birthday party. You and I are in our bedroom, and you're pitching a b.i.t.c.h about wearing a dress, as usual," she chuckled. "You're still devastatingly handsome in my eyes," Jamie said softly. "Hair as white as snow, you wear it short now, and the cut shows off that strong jaw you still have. Your eyes seem even bluer, contrasting against your white hair." Jamie leaned forward and kissed the closed eyes gently. "Your skin is a little paler, but it's still fairly dark, since you're still outside so often, playing with our great-great-grandchildren."

Ryan couldn't help but chuckle a little at that image; heartened, Jamie continued, "Your shoulders are still broad, but you've lost most of your muscle." She laughed softly and said, "You're still in shape, though. You just can't pick up a few hundred pounds like you could when you were only 80."

Eyes still tightly shuttered, Ryan leaned forward and unerringly found her lover's lips. "In my mind, you're still blonde," she smiled. "I can see you sitting on the bed, deciding what I should wear to the party, making sure I don't look too casual."

"Of course I'll still be blonde," Jamie giggled. "It might take all of my millions, but I'm never going to look a day over 75!"

Tilting her chin, Ryan started to place tiny kisses all over her partner's face, murmuring between each kiss, "I... love... you... with... all... my... heart."

"And I love you, too." Jamie kissed her gently and vowed, "We're going to have our babies, and we're going to raise them to be happy, healthy adults. Then we're going to help our babies raise their babies ...Then we'll help our grandbabies raise their babies. We're gonna be around for a very, very long time, Ryan. I'm certain of that."

"I'm not certain," Ryan admitted, "but with your help, I'm sure gonna try to believe."

"You've gotta believe, baby," Jamie urged. "Believing can make it happen."

Jamie spent the evening tenderly caring for her still fragile partner. As usual, when Ryan was in a vulnerable mood, she gratefully accepted all forms of physical attention, but generally avoided talking about her feelings. Even though that wasn't Jamie's way, she had learned to respect Ryan's needs, and had eventually stopped trying to get her to talk. Instead, she made it a point to study in the same room; finding an excuse to get up and kiss the back of Ryan's neck, or give her a short ma.s.sage. Her gentle ministering continued through the evening, extending to their bedtime with Jamie holding her lover tenderly through the night.

Caring, loving, tender Jamie was nowhere to be seen when the alarm went off at five on Thursday morning. The blonde looked at her partner through bleary eyes and grumbled a faint acknowledgment of her presence. "You first," she decided, putting the pillow over her head. Ryan dutifully got up and showered, then spent a few minutes dragging her partner from the warm bed.

"I don't wanna," the grumpy blonde moaned.

"Honey, you made a date to meet your teammate. You can't stand her up. Now, come on. Be a good little girl, and I'll make you some oatmeal."

One green eye opened warily. "With bananas?"

"Of course, love. Bananas and lots of brown sugar, just like you like it."

"Okay," she said, a tiny smile forming on her lips. "Only you can make 5 a.m. appealing." She got up and stretched for a few moments, then asked, "What's on your agenda for today?"

"Big day," she said, rolling her eyes. "I've got to meet my study group at six, then I have cla.s.s. I'm gonna come home after that and get on the phone and start investigating private schools for Jen. It's not going to be easy at this late date; time is slipping away if I'm going to find a spot for her for second semester. I could kick myself for waiting this long. I swear I don't know where the fall went."

"I don't either," Jamie agreed. "You've just been sitting around here on your cute little b.u.t.t. I didn't realize what a lazy woman you were when I married you."

"Funny," Ryan said, ruffling her disordered hair. "Don't forget we play St. Mary's tonight. The bus leaves at 3, so I doubt I'll see you before I go. Now let me get my cute little b.u.t.t in gear or you won't get breakfast."

When Jamie met up with Juliet in the parking lot of the always-crowded munic.i.p.al course, they were both a little puzzled to see several dozen cars already in the lot. "The sun has just barely risen," Juliet muttered, sitting on the b.u.mper of her small car to put on her spikes. Do people sleep here overnight to get a good tee time?" Just then a little car pulled in next to them and two elderly women got out, chatting companionably. Another car honked, and the women waved to their friends, while Juliet gave Jamie a scowl. One of the elderly women called out, "Hurry on, girls. You won't have any time to warm up."

The younger women hurriedly finished getting ready, then went over to the starter, their eyes wide as they took in the large number of women obviously ready to go. "Hi," Juliet said. "We're on the Cal golf team. Any chance of sneaking in before this crowd?"

The man gave her a wink and said, "This is our ladies league. You two are ladies... why don't you join them?"

"Sounds appealing," Juliet said, trying to make her mouth smile, "but we only have about two and a half hours."

"Oh, well, the ladies generally take five, and that's only if they're first out in the morning." He started to chuckle. "I'm just teasing you. They go off on 10 rather than 1. You'll likely still catch them, but probably not until fifteen or sixteen."

"Would anyone complain if we played two b.a.l.l.s?" Juliet asked, now showing a warm, friendly smile.

"I think we could bend the rules just a bit," he agreed. "Do you girls have your pa.s.ses with you?"

"Sure do," Juliet said, and Jamie produced hers as well.

"Hard to tell if you two are on the golf team or the modeling team," the elderly man teased. "Girls as pretty as you two didn't play golf when I was a young buck."

"Why, thank you," Juliet said. "You should sneak out and join us for a few holes. We play pretty, too."

"I just bet you do," he chuckled. "Have good round, girls."

As they walked away, Juliet joked, "I never have to flirt with the starter at my home course. Of course, my dad would throttle the guy if he ever tried to come on to me." She shrugged and added, "Oh, the joys of public courses."

"We should have gone to Stanford," Jamie agreed, chuckling softly. "Of course, I never would have made the team there." She gave Juliet an appraising look and asked, "Why didn't you go to Stanford? You're clearly good enough."

Juliet looked a little embarra.s.sed and said, "Uhm... don't take this the wrong way, but, coming here was part of my long term strategy."

"And that was ...?"

"My dad and I decided that I'd stand out more on a more mediocre team," she admitted, blushing slightly. "There are at least three players on Stanford that are as good, if not better than I am, and I was a little afraid of getting lost in the crowd over there. Cal's program is new, and we thought it would look better for me to help put a new program on the map than help an existing one stay excellent." Shrugging, she asked, "Does that sound as manipulative to you as it does to me?"

"You're planning your future," Jamie said. "You have to consider all of the angles. I'm just glad you're here."

"So am I," Juliet smiled. "Besides, gold and navy blue go better with my coloring. That cardinal red doesn't do a thing for me."

Her eyes were smiling as she said this, but Jamie detected just a hint of truth in her statement. Wow, first Ryan, then Jordan, and now Juliet. I'm surrounded by goal-oriented women!

Ryan began to think her morning had been a complete waste. She was not in the least surprised to find that most of the good schools in the East Bay were not very interested in a child that had been suspended three times in one year, had recently run away from home, and had changed schools three times in a six month period. She was running out of ideas when the phone rang, jolting her out of her reverie. "h.e.l.lo?"

"h.e.l.lo, Ryan, it's Catherine. I wanted to get in touch to tell you about a few calls I made today."

"Phone calls?"

"Yes. Jamie called this morning and told me that you were getting busy on finding a school for Jennie. So I made a few calls to the schools that we looked at when Jamie was young."

"Oh, Catherine, it's so thoughtful of you to get involved like this."

"Nonsense, Ryan. That child needs help, and I'm only too glad to do what I can. I called every good school from the Peninsula to the SouthBay, and the only one that will even give her an interview is Jamie's old high school. And I'm certain that's only because the headmaster knows how much money we have."

"Do you think Jennie would fit in down there, Catherine?" Ryan asked as delicately as possible.

"That's a difficult question, Ryan. I didn't tell the headmaster that Jennie is a lesbian, since I wasn't sure if she would want them to know. Aside from her s.e.xual orientation, I'm sure she would be the poorest child in the school. And my guess is that she'd be picked on for that more than anything else."

"I know from experience that being poor in a rich kids' school can be tough," Ryan agreed.

"Was that your experience, dear?"

"Yes. I went to an exclusive Catholic girls school in PacificHeights. The saving grace was that they had five or six scholarship students in my cla.s.s, so I didn't stick out too badly. And since my family had always stressed that money wasn't really important, I didn't get caught up in it. I chose my friends carefully, and got so involved in sports that I gained some popularity from that. But some of the other scholarship students didn't fare as well. A lot of them felt totally out of place."

"Adolescents can be so cruel to one another," Catherine sympathized.

"It worked out for me," Ryan said. "And it helped me to see early on that money doesn't make people happier. That was a very valuable lesson."

"I couldn't agree more when I look at the depressive personalities in my family," Catherine agreed.

"You've given me an idea, Catherine. I think I'll go pay a visit to Sister Mary Magdalene."

"Is that someone from your old school?"

"Yes. The Mother Superior," she said. "And she owes me a huge favor."

Luckily, Sister's secretary found a spot for Ryan to speak with her at noon, so after making herself presentable, she took off for the city.

"Well, well, I didn't expect to see you so soon, Ryan," Sister Mary Magdalene said as she extended her graceful hand.

"Thank you for seeing me, Sister," she said. "I've come to speak to you about a young girl that I mentor."

"Oh, what a lovely thing to do," she said. "It's so rewarding to help influence a young woman's life."

"Yes, Sister, it's been rewarding and challenging," she admitted. "The young woman in question is a freshman at Berkeley High. She's bright and very creative, and I firmly believe that she could be an excellent student - given the right environment."

"But she's not an excellent student now," Sister said perceptively, getting to the root of the problem.

"That's hard to say honestly. The girl has identified as a lesbian since she was twelve years old, Sister. Her mother is a follower of a very conservative minister, and she has tried to force my young friend to change her s.e.xual orientation. As I'm sure you know, that's a losing battle."

Sister nodded patiently as Ryan continued. "That isn't the big problem, though. Her mother has a very, very strict set of rules for my friend; but when she breaks one, she throws her out onto the street and expects her to fend for herself until she decides to let her back in. Because of this she's been forced to live in a group home in Berkeley, and that move required her to change high schools. Then the state decided that she should live with her father and stepmother in San Diego, necessitating another change. That didn't work out," she said, in a ma.s.sive understatement, "so she's now back in Berkeley. Obviously, my friend has not had much instruction, Sister, and now they've thrown her into a program that sounds more like a holding cell than a high school, and I know she'll be lost if she isn't challenged academically."

"This sounds like a very troubled child, Ryan. And you should know that Sacred Heart is not equipped to deal with girls with severe behavioral problems. Our girls are very high achievers."

"I'm aware of that, Sister," she said with a smile. "I was one myself not very long ago."

"You certainly were, Ryan," she agreed. "I would say you were one of the most talented students ever to attend our school."

"Thank you, Sister, and I know that I don't have to remind you that one of the tenets of Sacred Heart is to offer a quality education to girls who could not otherwise afford it on their own."

"Yes, Ryan, you of all people know that's true. But girls from less affluent homes must qualify academically, and it sounds like your young friend could not do that."

"I'm not so sure of that, but I'm not asking you to consider her as a scholarship student. She can afford the tuition, Sister. And strange as it sounds, I don't consider her a troubled child. Strong willed and independent, but not troubled. She's actually an incredibly sweet girl that just needs to see that there's a better way to live. But I can't convince you of this in the abstract. I'd like to bring her over here to meet you. Will you do me that favor?"

She pursed her lips together and looked suspicious, but she finally nodded and said, "I will, Ryan. Can you bring her tomorrow?"

"If I can't, I can have a friend bring her. I'll check with your secretary and find a time when you're free." Ryan stood and extended her hand as she said, "Thank you very much for your time, Sister." As she walked out, she poked her head back into the office to warn, "She dresses a little casually, so be prepared."

That night, after another humiliating defeat, Ryan came barreling out of the visitors' locker room to find her fans patiently waiting for her.

"Here's our star of the game," Catherine said as she made her way over for a hug.

"Star of the bench, but thanks anyway, Catherine," Ryan said with a good-natured smile. "I got to speak to the Mother Superior at my old school today. She's agreed to talk to Jen, but she wants to see her tomorrow at two. I've got to leave for Fresno at four, and I can't risk being late. Is there any way you could do it?"

"I'd be happy to, Ryan. Does Jennie know I'll come for her?"

"Yeah. I spoke to her before I came down this afternoon. Then I called her housemother and asked her to call her school and get her excused for the day. Given what she told us about her course of instruction, or lack thereof, she won't be missing anything anyway," she added wryly. Ryan pulled a sheet of paper from her organizer in her gym bag. "I've written her address down, and included directions from the freeway. The directions to the school are there, too."

"I'm sure it will all go fine, Ryan. Don't worry about a thing." Turning to Jamie she asked, "Will you stop for a cup of coffee before you head back?"

"Ryan has to go on the bus," she grumbled. "Her coach isn't terribly flexible."

"Jamie's angry because we're taking the bus to Fresno, and Coach won't let her come with," Ryan supplied.

"Well, it's just stupid," she pouted.

"So you're not going, dear?" Catherine asked.

"No, it doesn't make much sense to fly down there to spend the evening alone in a hotel room. They're having a team dinner tomorrow night to review some game films, and I obviously can't attend that. I've got plenty of studying to do since my first final is Wednesday, so we decided that I should stay home this time."

"Why don't you come down to the house on Sat.u.r.day?" Catherine suggested. "You could lounge by the pool while you study."

"Good idea," Jamie smiled. "It's a date."

"I've got to go, or I'll have to run sprints as punishment," Ryan informed them. "Why don't you two go out for coffee? This bus takes forever!"

"Good idea. See you at home."

"Thanks a million, Catherine," Ryan said as she gave her a kiss.

"I'll call you tomorrow night for a full report," she promised. "Play well in Fresno, dear."

"Thanks a lot," she replied as she bent to kiss Jamie lightly. "Thanks for coming all the way down here, babe. It means a lot to me to see you in the stands."

"I'm your groupie through thick and thin, Ryan. You're just as cute on the bench as you are on the court." She wrinkled up her nose and added, "Cuter, really, since you get to wear that perfectly attractive warm-up suit when you're on the bench."

Catherine rang the doorbell at the group home just after ten a.m. She smiled to herself as she could hear eager young footsteps flying down the stairs from the second floor. Jennie flung the door open, and greeted her enthusiastically, "Hi, Mrs. Evans! Do you want to come in and meet Sandy?"

"I'd love to." She smiled back at her infectious grin. She entered the haphazardly furnished, but neat and clean two-story Craftsman style home, and paused in the entryway while Jennie ran to fetch the housemother. Seconds later she came back, holding a middle-aged woman's hand.

"Mrs. Evans, this is Sandy. She's the housemother here," she explained.

"Good to meet you," Catherine said as she extended her hand.

"It's always nice to meet Jennie's friends," she said warmly. "I really think it's wonderful of you and Ryan to try to get Jennie into a decent school. Berkeley High is fine if you're in a regular cla.s.s, but they're not very flexible when a child isn't able to attend consistently."

"This is just a preliminary interview," Catherine warned. "Jennie might not like the atmosphere at the school."

"Let's go find out," Jennie said optimistically.

On the way to the car, Catherine surveyed Jennie's outfit. It was the same one she had worn on Thanksgiving, and even though it was an improvement over her normal attire, it would be perfectly clear that she was not of the same social cla.s.s as the other girls.

After making over Catherine's car for a while, Jennie turned to her and asked, "Do you think I look all right? Ryan said that mostly rich kids go to this school."

"I think you look very nice," Catherine said with a big smile. "But one of my favorite activities is to go shopping. What do you say we buy you another nice outfit for your next interview?" Jennie looked a little hesitant, albeit hopeful. Catherine immediately a.s.sured her, "My treat, Jennie."