Hunter Hill University: Reaching Rose Part 22

ROSE.

"What the h.e.l.l was that?" Holly says to me once we're alone without my sisters and out of earshot of Ben.

"I have no idea. She probably wants to get her claws into Ben."

"More like into you. That was definitely something personal against you, Rose."

I don't bother responding to that, because I have no idea what to say.

Ben walks up and puts the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, and I plop in the pod and start it up.

"So where am I sleeping tonight?" he asks.

"You can take my spot in Rose's room," Holly offers, hopefully jokingly.

Ben and I both laugh, and I show him to the back room, where my mother pulled out the couch and made up the bed. "You want one of my dad's t-shirts or something?"

"No, Rose, I'm good. Thanks."

"Okay. Well, if you want a change tomorrow, I can find something."

"Sure."

Before I walk out, I want to make sure he knows how much I appreciate his concern tonight. "Uh. Ben?"

"Yes?" he asks, sitting down on the bed.

"Thank you again for coming tonight. I really...it was just so nice of you. Thank you."

"I'm just glad you were okay."

He smiles and the way his eyes smile with it, nearly knocks me off my feet. It's going to be harder to resist him than I thought.

In my room, Holly makes a big stink about how much Ben must like me because of how worried he was.

"He's just a really nice guy. He'd worry about you the same way."

"Maybe," she agrees, "but I know for sure he's crazy about you."

"He's crazy if he likes me, that's for sure."

"Tell me what really happened tonight, Rose," she says seriously now, sitting down on my bed, her paisley pajamas on her lap.

"Pretty much what I told you."

"One sister doesn't like how you're behaving and you take off? I don't buy it."

"Well...the rest of them agreed with her."

"Rose. What's going on? You're perfectly healthy. You're f.u.c.kin' cute in your little leg. I swear, it doesn't affect how beautiful you are."

"But it affects how I dance."

"That's what this is, isn't it?"

I don't answer right away. First, I go to my dresser and pull out a pair of plaid flannels and a tee-shirt, and then I sit on the bed next to her and roll up my left yoga pant leg. As I unclasp my prosthetic, I say, "The dancing is why I get depressed. I will never be what I was, and that makes me beyond sad...You can't even imagine." I lay my leg on the floor and kick it under the bed. Then I show Holly what my leg looks like without the prosthetic. I slide the sock off, keeping my own eyes from looking. "And this is why I can never date Ben...or anyone."

Holly's quiet for a moment while she stares at my...thing...my leg. "Rose. Why should this matter?" She touches my knee. The left one.

I look at her face in amazement. "That doesn't gross you out?"

"Gross me...Rose, of course not. Why would it gross me out?"

"Because it grosses me out."

She rubs my leg and hugs me with her other arm. "Rose, you're beautiful. This-" she squeezes my knee "-adds character. You survived, Rose. Be proud."

Sometimes I wish I hadn't.

"But I don't get it," Holly continues. "Why don't you want to date Ben? What's your leg got to do with that?"

I hesitate to answer at first. "Eventually...we'd have to get naked." I shrug. "I don't want him to see me like this...It's ugly."

"It's not ugly. It's just part of who you are now."

"One big ugly scar. That's what I am now."

"Rose. A f.u.c.king delivery truck hit you, and you're still f.u.c.king gorgeous...not to mention alive. Again...be proud." She pulls me into her arms. "Maybe your sister was right. You should be grateful."

I nod. Of course I should be grateful. But I'm having trouble getting there.

When we enter the kitchen in the morning, Ben, donned in a pair of sweats and one of my dad's t-shirts, is standing at the counter, pouring a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, sleepyheads," my mom says to us from the other side of the counter.

"Morning, Mrs. Duncan," Holly says. "Smells good."

"Thanks. Making the stuffing right now. Grab some coffee and a biscuit. Make yourself at home."

"Thanks," she says, all smiles.

Ben already has two more mugs he's pouring coffee into. "Milk?" he asks.

"Please," I say, grabbing the sugar bowl. "Sugar?"

"No thanks."

"Yes, please," Holly answers.

"Regular or maple?"

"Maple? No thanks, regular sugar is good for me," she says.

"Where'd you get the clothes?" I ask Ben. "You said you didn't need any, so..."

"I didn't. But then Terri knocked on my door and gave them to me, so I thought, 'what the heck?'"

Holly and I pa.s.s a glance to one another, before I say to Ben, "I'm sorry. I would've gotten them for you."

"No, Rose," he says, touching my elbow and pulling out a seat for me to sit, "I really didn't need them..."

"Wait a minute." Holly points a finger at Ben. "You don't find it odd that Terri came into your bedroom last night?"

"Well." Ben nods his head from side to side. "Not really. She just...well, she brought in the clothes and sat on the bed, but I told her I was beat. She left right away."

s.h.i.t. She sat on the bed?

"Uh, Rose?" Holly's eyes are raised. "How do you feel about that?"

"Holly," I whisper, inconspicuously shaking my head.

"It was nothing, Rose, really," Ben adds.

"It's okay," I say, pretending to shrug it off as if I don't care that my sister went into Ben's room late last night.

"Sounds like she wanted it to be more than nothing," Holly says sarcastically.

Ben's hand is suddenly on my knee. The left one. That's when it occurs to me that I forgot to sit on his left side.

"I don't like her, Rose," he whispers.

I nod. "Okay."

His fingers move along my thigh, and in no way is he being fresh, but I'm finding it uncomfortable because it's my left leg.

What must he be thinking while he's touching it?

Is he curious?

Is he wondering what it looks like?

Is his stomach churning from the grossness of it?

"These biscuits are awesome, Mrs. Duncan."

"Thank you, Holly."

Holly gets up to pour more coffee.

"Rose," Ben says quietly, his hand still grazing my leg. "When you called last night, you asked about Johnny. We didn't get too far with the conversation."

"Oh...I'm sorry."

"No, no. I'm just wondering...would you like me to take you to visit him?"

"Really? He takes visitors?"

"Of course he does. I think he'd love to see you."

"Really?"

"I have practice tomorrow morning, but I can pick you up at two."

"Oh...um...okay."

"Okay what?" Holly asks when she sits back down.

"We're just talking about a mutual friend."

"You two have mutual friends...who aren't me?"

"Ha ha."

"Someone we met in Orange," Ben says.

After breakfast, we all shower and change, then help my mom in the kitchen with preparing dinner, while my sisters help my father with the animals.

"This is some spread, Mrs. Duncan," Ben tells my mom while he peels potatoes.

"Doesn't your mother cook a big meal on Thanksgiving?" my mother asks.

"Oh, sure, it just doesn't look like this. We usually have a turkey, but it's her lasagna that usually takes center stage on the table," he jokes.

"Lasagna? On Thanksgiving?"

"Mom, Ben's Italian."

"Ah. That explains it, then. What about you, Holly? What's your Thanksgiving table look like?"

Holly laughs. "Bare. We eat at the country club every Thanksgiving."