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Arun took in a rapid glance of the combat. Umarov and Del-Marie were on the deck, held down under a crush of attackers. It was Brandt, Arun and Sadri against Xin and the other two. Three on three. And if combat stims really were in play, this was a fight to the death!
Xin was scrambling to get up, but Arun was already over her, pinning her down with his weight through his knees. He lifted his weight momentarily, but only to get a twisting action from his hips to maximize the power behind his fist that he launched at her pretty b.u.t.ton nose, aiming to shatter it and drive the bone fragments into her brain.
With his fist just two inches from her nose, Arun realized what he was doing and snapped out of his combat rage. He gasped, pulling his punch. It still struck home, but was a stinging slap rather than a lethal strike from a trained 17-year-old killer.
Xin seemed to snap out of her combat state too. Her eyes snapped open, staring wide-eyed at Arun. Was she shocked at her violence? Impressed with Arun?
No, neither! Xin shook spasmodically. Her stare tracked him as he twisted off her, leaving her to her fit. Something clattered to the floor beside him. It was an electro-stunner that had fallen out of Xin's fingers. She'd been about to ram it into his gut when someone had sent a shock bolt into her. Horden's frakking children! What now?
Arun got to his feet, a.s.suming a cautious crouch as he checked for this new threat.
Trogs were swimming through the walls, bowling over the Bolt Squad perimeter from behind. Each Trog was holding two guns that looked like modified SA-71 carbines.
There were about a score of Trogs. The cadets of both squads were still or writhing on the ground, shocked by stun rounds.
Blowing up the enemy was simplicity itself. But to blow someone up slightly, without permanent damage, was anything but. Which meant these Trogs had been armed with specifically anti-human stun rounds.
Everyone in the chamber had been shot except Arun.
He put his finger to the faint bulge in his sternum. Had his pheromone implant saved him? The Trogs waved their guns at him but seemed uncertain whether to shoot him.
When the shocked humans began to recover enough to sit upright, one of the big insects brought out a voicebox and brandished the speaker about its abdomen like a trophy.
"Attention, human younglings. This is a message from your great captain commander, whom we call the great parent. Your presence here is to a.s.sist in the defense of a key imperial a.s.set. Your selection as warriors is an honor. It is mandated that you do not render each other inoperable. The great parent's authority over all sentients on this moon is paramount. Anyone guilty of... acting naughty... will be... tropied."
Arun struggled to keep a straight face as the bewildered cadets rubbed at their heads, wondering whether they had really just heard those words. Of course, this was Pedro having fun again, inserting recordings of Arun's voice toward the end of his speech. Arun's smile vaporized. Pedro had played him for a fool, giving him the choice of reinforcements and then bringing Xin anyway. Nhlappo too. Was she in the plot with the good guys?
The artificial voice came louder now. "You will all now separate and return to your respective habitation chambers to await punishment from human commander-adults."
The groggy Bolt Squad cadets picked themselves up and shuffled away, the fight shocked out of them.
As Xin pa.s.sed through the door, she stopped and glanced back at Arun.
He grinned and blew her a kiss. With his chances with her well and truly blown, he might as well act as if it were all a joke Arun expected her to respond with the twisting hand gesture that meant she wanted to rip his heart out and devour it.
She didn't. Instead, she winked.
She winked!
* Chapter 67 *
Del-Marie set his spoon down beside his bowl of chow-hall gruel and glared at Arun across the table. "If you don't shut your mouth, McEwan, I'm going to rip out your hamstrings and use them to sew your lips shut. Permanently."
"Just making conversation, lance corporal."
"No, McEwan. You prattling on about your illusory love affair is not conversation. It's a monologue and I'm sick of it."
But she winked! Arun kept that memory to himself as he began to puff with indignation. An age ago, when Delta Section, Blue Squad were freshly minted cadets, Springer and Arun's prattling had lightened the section's mood. Osman's antics had also helped to entertain the unit as they made their first step along the journey toward being Marines. Osman was dead and Springer still absent. Arun was trying to keep up the morale of his exhausted comrades. Trying to turn back the clock...
A red mist enveloped Arun. He answered with venom: "Does it offend you because it is a woman that I want for a p.r.o.ng-buddy? Would it be better if I talked of sharing my rack with one of the men? How about Stoney from the Bolters. He's-"
"Oh, please. You're just embarra.s.sing yourself. You never were very good at doing anger. Love is love, Arun, in all its forms. It excites us. Thrills and teases us with the promises of paradise but we know we risk being tumbled into the lowest form of misery when love fails. Life without love would be a cold and lifeless as the void. I like to hear other people talk of love, however they experience it. Just not you."
Arun frowned. "What's the matter, Del?" When Del-Marie started up with his poetic phrases, it meant something was seriously troubling him.
Del-Marie shook his head, disappointed. "Your prattling about Xin fills the room like a gaseous emission from your backside. It's crude and stale. We all want to ignore it but it just keeps coming until we're all choking on your emanations." The chow hall - a crude cavern with a scattering of tables - was bubbling with laughter by this point. "And yet your words are ultimately nothing more than warm gas that dissipates to leave nothing behind of any consequence."
"And the rest of you?" shouted Arun at the others as he got to his feet. "Is that what you all think? That I'm a joke?"
He searched the faces for support. Madge was laughing at him, as were the cadets from Hecht's Alpha Section. Zug looked thoughtful.
"Yes, Arun," said Del-Marie. "I speak for everyone in the section. It's been nearly four weeks since this Xin creature arrived and you still haven't stopped talking of your undying love. On the rare occasions when you do see her you're too tongue-tied to do more than nod and grunt and try ineffectually to reduce your drooling. She tried to gut you with an electro-stunner, for frakk's sake!"
"That's because Nhlappo gave them all stims."
Del sighed. "The girl who loves you is due back tomorrow minus her leg. You love her too, you're just too dumb to realize because you've bewitched yourself over this Xin. Snap out of it, Arun. You're not thirteen years old anymore. Act like a man. In a little over two years, you and I could be boarding a troopship to go to war. Sooner, if you believe Umarov. I don't want to fight alongside a little boy who's too scared to talk to girls. The Bolters have their own chow hall. Why aren't you there?"
Ungrateful shunters, the lot of them. Arun blanked Del-Marie and sat back down, contemplating finishing his gruel.
Zug wouldn't let Arun go. "Our real problem is that we've lost Springer, just when we need her most. She isn't just the funny one with the silly ideas and spooky violet eyes. She's the one who keeps us together. Call her our emotional hub, if you like, our squad's heart. We need our heart because so many things have happened at once. First you embarra.s.sed the colonel and then you let us down by abandoning your Scendence team mates."
"Hey, that's not fair. I thought you'd gotten over that."
"Stow it, McEwan," said Majanita. "Zug's doing the best he can to sugar coat. Would you prefer it if I told you how it really is?"
Arun kept his mouth closed.
"Rightly or not," continued Zug, "we all felt at the time that you had let us down. I've heard rumors that we have been fed low-level combat drugs for weeks or more. Maybe that's true and influenced our reaction. Then there was the Cull."
"I know," said Arun. "Sorry, man."
"I executed a fellow human being. A nineteen-year-old girl from our own battalion. Our scores were added to hers and we didn't earn enough to keep her alive. In a very small part, we are all responsible for her death but it was me who killed her. It has changed me, Arun. I can't yet explain how, but I am not the same person I was when we started this training year."
"Then the frakk-up when someone rigged the training session on Fort Douaumont against us," said Madge. "We still don't know why. And the rebellion. The Aux. Osman and Cristina dying. Our posting here at some whimsy of your alien friend, which has cut us off from the training system. A lot has happened in a short s.p.a.ce of time."
"What we're saying," added Zug, "is that we've gone through a period of transition. We can no longer pretend to live in a world where innocence is permitted."
"So, what you're saying is that... what? We've all gone through drent and I should shut the frakk up because I'm too childish?"
Zug held Arun's furious gaze for a few moments before replying. "Yes, that is what I'm saying."
"Fine! You can all go vulley yourselves. Maybe Xin is a pathetic fantasy. Yes, she's out of my league. And I do see that Springer is beautiful and loving and better than I could ever deserve or hope to find in another woman, but at least I still think of love. My body is still capable of feeling pa.s.sion. Is yours, Zug? Who do you dream about at night? I hear nothing from you. I don't even know whether you prefer women or men."
"Then your powers of observation are limited," said Zug.
Arun ground his jaw. "What about you, Del-Marie? There was a time when you would be forever sneaking off to spend time with Barnard. Now that he's stuck back in Detroit, you never mention his name. Weren't you in love?"
"I loved him very much." There was a catch to Del-Marie's voice. "But he loved me a little less it seems. I do not blame you for our exile to this exhausting little moon, but like it or not, it is a fact that we have been banished. It would take great sacrifice for Barnard to wait for me. Barnard is of the opinion that one must take one's pleasures where one can, while you still can, for we could all die tomorrow."
"I thought it was only Umarov who thought like that," said Arun.
Zug tapped Arun on shoulder. "Barnard was a member of the execution squad too."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"Yes, well I'm not surprised," said Del-Marie. "That's kind of my point. Anyway, as Barnard says, we have to take one's pleasures where we can. I have an attachment with Jimmy h.e.l.lenstein now."
Arun knew Big Jim from Bolt Squad. Was scared of him, to be honest. "I'm glad to hear that you're happy," said Arun. "Happ-ier," he corrected himself when he saw misery cloud Del-Marie's face.
That was it! Arun was furious with his squadmates and disgusted with himself. He abandoned his chow and stormed off.
Del called it exile, but one good thing about the Antilles posting was being at liberty to wander the fast-expanding base, and having gaps in the daily schedule to take advantage of that freedom. Arun intended to check out the new lower level but only made a few hundred meters through the winding tunnels when he came across Jimmy h.e.l.lenstein coming the other way.
"Hey," said Arun in greeting. Since the violence of their arrival, the two squads had developed a rough accommodation with each other. It wasn't friendship. Not yet.
Jimmy nodded back.
"Errm." Arun felt he needed to say something but had no idea what. He wished Springer were here. "Look, ah, h.e.l.lenstein..."
Jimmy halted in front of Arun, looming over like an instructor about to chew out a novice, studying him. Judging. Jimmy was a good six inches taller than Arun and probably about the same wider at the shoulders. Arun felt like a child in comparison.
"It's Del-Marie," said Arun. "I've just left him at our chow hall. He's had a hard time and he's feeling it today. You will look after him, won't you?"
Jimmy gave a slight nod. He looked away for a moment. He seemed to be thinking over something, was about to say something to Arun but then thought better of it. Instead he rested a hand on Arun's shoulder.
"I have a message for you from Xin," he said. "She wants you to meet her in our dorm chamber."
Jimmy leaned in slightly and spoke with menace into Arun's ear. "Xin is in my section." He tightened his grip on Arun's shoulder. "I expect you to look after her."
Arun swallowed hard. Did Jimmy's message mean what he hoped it did? Jimmy was still leering down him, his expression hardening.
"Yes," said Arun hurriedly. "Xin means a lot to me. I would never do anything to hurt her." Then he remembered that he was the reason Xin was on the moon. He added quickly: "Not on purpose."
Jimmy, gave a hard stare back. After a few seconds, he relaxed a little and nodded. "Make sure you don't." Then he sighed and seemed to loosen. "Go to her now," he added, with something approaching warmth in his voice.
Then he walked off. Arun detected no joy in his gait. He hoped Del-Marie would be okay.
As soon as Jimmy had turned the corner and was out of sight, Arun forgot about Del's troubles.
He ran to Xin.
* Chapter 68 *
Xin was waiting on her rack, hugging her knees and deep in contemplation.
The adjoining dorm chambers were surprisingly full of Bolters, either pumped with excitement or as lost in thought as Xin. Something was up, but all Arun cared was that the rest of Xin's section had made themselves scarce. They were close enough to privacy for Arun to screw up his courage and sit beside her, stretching an arm around her shoulder.
She looked up at him with mournful eyes. He expected her to shrug him off, but she dipped her head and leaned into his embrace, shifting until her head nestled comfortably against his shoulder.
Through the thin material of her shirt, Arun's touch electrified to the feel of her muscle and bone as her shoulder gently rose and fell with her breathing.
And so they sat in silence, huddled together on a rack in a Trog-chewed underground hole under an airless moon.
This wasn't how Arun had imagined this moment at all.
Take your pleasures where you can. Umarov would laugh at him forever if he hesitated now.
Taking a deep breath, Arun slid his hand under Xin's chin and gently lifted her, gazing into those dark eyes that had been the focus of so many dreams.
He meant to kiss her but... those eyes... they were deep wells of sadness.
Suddenly he understood. Taking your pleasures where you could it had never occurred to him that he would be the pleasure being taken, the reason why Xin had summoned him.
He drew back. "What's wrong?"
She rubbed at his lips with her thumb, as if wiping them clean of words she did not want to hear.
"Not now," she said. "Not yet."
Then fire of her spirit ignited. The old Xin was back, pushing him back onto the rack, kissing him all the way down.
They rolled and squeezed, pressing up against each other in a frantic melee of hair, and lips, and limbs.
But as quickly as her pa.s.sion had flared, it now guttered and went out, stranding Arun in Xin's stiff embrace.
He laughed. Whenever he dreamed of making love with Xin, clothing never seemed to exist. Now that he was lying on her rack in real life, not only were they both dressed, but his feet were still encased in dusty boots.
"Sorry," he said when he noticed her following his gaze down to his footwear.
"So you should be," she replied in mock anger. She scooted down the bed and removed his boots. After a salacious glance that Arun took care to commit to long-term memory, she loosened his pants and proceeded to strip him naked.
As soon as she was done, Xin darted under the covers. Arun dove in after her and started yanking off her clothes too.