Human Legion: Marine Cadet Part 15

He shuddered.

"Welcome to the team, Alan," she said.

"Arun. I'm Arun."

"If you say so, twinkle eyes. Next team training session is tomorrow 21:55 hours in hall 5B. Don't be late and... hey, good luck telling your friends."

That was it. Xin had finished with him and walked off, quickly disappearing in the crowd, and leaving Arun lost in dark thoughts.

Darkest of all: how was he going to tell his friends?

* Chapter 19 *

No training was scheduled for Scendence Days. If you weren't competing yourself, you would be cheering on your buddies from parade halls and lecture theaters given over to Scendence and a dozen other lesser sports and shows. After laughing at your buddy up on one of the stages giving a hopeless attempt at conjuring tricks, she might get her own back by trashing you at a game of petanque. Everyone joined in the fun, because enjoying these Marine holidays was not a privilege, it was an order.

After agreeing to join Xin's team, Arun tried to lose himself in the fun going on all around him. He couldn't. He was like a ghost at his own funeral: desperate to connect with his friends in ways taken for granted in life but now impossible.

Eventually, he slipped away to the shooting range, reasoning that he'd partic.i.p.ated enough in the Scendence events not to get into trouble.

As soon as he picked up the SA-71, he knew coming here had been the right thing to do. The feel of the carbine close to his shoulder was a comfort, the gun his most reliable friend who never judged him. He needed this. As he put round after round into the plastic targets thrown in random arcs by the range AI, every target hit made him feel better. Made him feel like he was good Marine material, despite all the drent going on. When he was inside his battlesuit, Barney did most of the aiming. Here in the range, without his suit AI, Arun was still a crack shot.

Detroit's layout was divided up by the four regiments of Marines based there. There was no rule to say you had to stick with your own regiment, but strolling into another regiment's territory wasn't something to do lightly. Arun was banking on Scendence Day being different. Humor was good, rules relaxed. Arun decided he couldn't spend the rest of the day at his range and so drifted across the border into the 420th's section of Detroit. He kept clear of the Scendence halls and visited immersion training suites, a library and even spent quiet time in one of the temples, trying to figure out what the h.e.l.l was messing up his head and making him do crazy things.

Night came. The light in the tunnels and rooms changed, losing its UV content and taking on a ruddy glow. With no clear insights into why he kept inviting trouble, just a wasted afternoon, Arun wandered back to his dorm in hab-disk 6/14.

Everyone stopped and stared when he walked in. He wouldn't have felt more of an outsider if he'd walked into a random dorm in another regiment's hab-disk.

"Where have you been, man?" asked Osman.

"And why?" added Del-Marie.

Arun took a deep breath and then told them everything. He tried to explain how he had this premonition that he needed to be close to Xin and close to her Scendence team. It wasn't so much that he was leaving Moscow Express, he explained, more a merger of both teams.

The others greeted this with jeers and heads shaken with disappointment. Even to Arun his words sounded more feeble excuse than explanation.

Frakk them! I'm a Marine cadet. I don't give up.

"Hey?" he protested "don't give me that drent. It's not like I've joined a team from another battalion. Is it? Well, is it?" He dared them to deny the truth. But most of his comrades were already turning away.

"Xin's part of our battalion," he said. "Our scores are pooled each year. If her Scendence team scores well, it helps to keep all of us from getting Culled just as much as it does her and the G-1 companies."

"That's not the point," said Zug. "We're squad buddies. You let us down. Again. When we're in the field and get in a tight spot, we must rely on each other. Trust. Teamwork. And you've just taught us that we can't rely on you."

"But, Zug..."

With his voice of perfect calm and reason, Zug delivered his d.a.m.ning verdict. "No, Arun. I've nothing more to say to you." Every pair of eyes in that room were trained on Arun and Zug. Calmly, Zug picked up a softscreen, and opened it to the book he was reading. Arun recognized the t.i.tle. It was an ancient work of political philosophy called Two Treatises of Government. Only last month, he'd discussed with Zug what kind of world its author, John Locke, had inhabited. Now that easy friendship of many years had vaporized.

Not you too, Zug! Arun had come prepared for a shouting match with Madge and Springer, perhaps Del-Marie who took a lot to anger but had a volcanic temper once roused. Arun might not have changed anyone's opinion of him, but he would have given as good as he got.

But Zug was so calm, so reasonable. So final. Arun had no defense against that. All the fight went out of him. Since birth he'd had drilled into him that no plan survives contact with the enemy. He hadn't expected such a practical demonstration in his dorm of all places.

Once again he felt like a ghost at his own funeral. Only one person looked at Arun as if he still lived: Springer.

"Get it over with," he said as she walked his way. "Tell me how much you hate me."

"I don't hate you, Arun."

"Really?" Arun brightened. "Sweet homecoming, Springer. For a moment there..." He shut up when saw the sour look on Springer's face.

"You're an idiot, Arun. But you're my idiot. How could I hate you for being yourself? But disappointment? The universe isn't big enough to contain all the disappointment I feel for what you did. That dirty skangat, Xin, saw what a soft dongwit you are and twisted you around her little finger as if you were one of those pretty ribbons the 420th wear. Let's face it, you have as much backbone as a sc.r.a.p of ribbon. Xin hasn't one iota of respect for you. You do realize that, right?" She paused to emphasize her point and watch Arun squirm. "You were pathetic today, Arun, but I don't hate you. I hate her."

Her words stung. Was she right? No, Arun decided, because she didn't understand the whole picture. To be fair, neither did he. "I'm not sure how it happened. I felt..." What had he felt? He'd already tried to explain the planner part of his brain telling him to do as Xin asked. As excuses went, it stank.

"There is a solution of sorts," said Springer.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I've checked. There's nothing to stop you continuing to play for Moscow Express and play for her team too. It's very rare but it's been done before. The game AIs will try to schedule the contests to avoid conflicts.

Springer was beyond wonderful. Arun almost kissed her, but stopped himself. She was still too frakked off. Then a dark thought cast a shadow over his hope. "If we did well, the two teams would eventually face each other. I can't compete against myself. What then?"

Springer rolled her beautiful eyes. "Life is strewn with choices that can't be bypa.s.sed. Haven't you learned that yet? It's through our choices that we are known."

"I get it. If I want us to stick together, I've got to make the right choice. Is that what you're telling me?"

"No." A faraway look took her. Despite the situation, Arun felt a tingle of excitement as he stared at his only remaining friend. Was he seeing a vision as it possessed her?

The violet color didn't come to her eyes. Instead she sighed and glanced up at him through old eyes that looked as if they'd seen a thousand years pa.s.s by.

"Depending on your choices," she said, "I might love you, despise you or tolerate you. But our destiny lies together. I'm certain of that. Good or bad, our futures are entwined. I've seen this many times before."

Arun groaned. Since turning cadet, he'd been threatened, manipulated, had the c.r.a.p kicked out of him, and had made himself the most hated guy in the 8th battalion. All of that he could deal with, but this talk of destiny was freaking him out.

He never wanted to be a hero.

If Springer's violet visions were right, then that choice wasn't his to make.

* Chapter 20 *

Translation of Annotated Nest Archive Date: 9519-244 Subject: Interrogation of Human McEwan Key scents: Conditioning~Marines~drugs~betrayal Filter Applied: High-value information only CONTEXT: The human, Arun McEwan, was asked to describe small unit organization and tactics. His answers were of little value. More interesting were his attempts to steer the conversation onto the topic of his relationship with his human nest comrades. The nest scribe decided to permit this deviation, realizing it could provide valuable insights to the suspected brain-altering drug regime secretly imposed at that time on humans entering the 'cadet' phase of their lifecycle.

==INTERROGATION FRAGMENT BEGINS==.

HUMAN McEWAN: Don't you think it's an overreaction? All I did was switch teams. I mean, I could understand them getting frakked off, but that was three weeks ago now. That's all! Three frakking weeks and they still act as if... Well, it's as if you'd bitten off your queen's legs and danced on her head.

SCRIBE: You mean the Great Leader.

HUMAN McEWAN: That guy, yeah.

SCRIBE: I understand. You feel your offense is minor but your human nest comrades judge you and your acts as repugnant. Are there other examples where the value that you place on things is very different from your comrades?

HUMAN McEWAN: [Pauses to think while consulting wetware memories. He nods his head. Interpretation: (93% certainty): indicates agreement.] No one has fun anymore. Goofing around, joking it's an important part of human bonding but the only time I've seen my buddies loosen up recently was for Scendence Day. [Shakes head, looking at floor (91% certainty): indicates sadness] Even that didn't last long. I asked to keep playing for Moscow Express but Madge wouldn't let me. Last match day, they were knocked out of the compet.i.tion but I won for Xin's bunch: Team Ultimate Victory. Team Ultimate Disaster, more like. Other than Springer, my friends hate me more than ever now.

SCRIBE: Has this been a slow and steady change or a sudden one?

HUMAN MCEWAN: It's grown, but real fast. Everything changed about the same time we made cadet. Maybe a little before.

SCRIBE: And you feel unaffected?

HUMAN McEWAN: [Rolls eyes. Interpretation: meaning unclear]. No, it's doing my head in too. I get wildly angry sometimes or feel so low that I whimper in my sleep. I think I'm cracking up. Oh, frakk! Frakk, frakk, frakk! I'm so flekked.

SCRIBE: Is something wrong?

HUMAN McEWAN: Wrong? I've just told you I'm cracking up. That's practically an admission that I'm not fit to be a Marine. I'll be working the mines this time tomorrow.

SCRIBE: You need not fear. The internal security systems monitor for signs of insurrection, not individual performance. We have tested this extensively. You may speak freely to me about your medical concerns.

HUMAN McEWAN: Even if you're wrong about the security stuff... [Sighs. Interpretation: (97% certainty): indicates acceptance of an unwanted situation]. I guess I can't make things worse.

SCRIBE: Correct. If I am wrong about the drenting security systems, then you are utterly vulleyed whatever you do.

HUMAN McEWAN: [Sets mouth into 'brittle smile'. Interpretation: (86% certainty): acknowledgement of humor, comradeship, rea.s.serting anxious state.]. Good one, Pedro. A little more work on the accent and we'll be able to sneak you into the chow hall and no one will realize you aren't one of us.

SCRIBE: [spirals antennae, indicating acknowledgement of humor] Why don't you tell your medical staff or your human leaders about your concerns?

HUMAN McEWAN: [Shakes head. Interpretation: (96% certainty) disagreement. Possibly (32% certainty) mild contempt too.] You don't know much about humans, do you?

SCRIBE: Correct.

HUMAN McEWAN: I know. I know. It's why you want us to have these little chats. I'll try to explain. When your squad goes into danger, knowing your buddies around you are strong helps to keep you strong too. A Marine who wobbles under pressure has the opposite effect. The Corps has no use for a Marine who's going to sit down and start crying because someone is shooting at him. I can't admit my weakness. Majanita and Del-Marie already think I don't fit in anymore.

SCRIBE: If you are truly different, can you really keep this deception for three years until graduation? And beyond, as a Marine?

HUMAN McEWAN: [Shrugs. Interpretation: (96% certainty) showing disdain for challenges faced.]. That's something I'll have to find out the hard way. I'm not quitting. Never. That's not an option. Not me at all.

SCRIBE: Is that why you originally agreed to join your comrades' Scendence team, Moscow Express? Did you do this to regain the respect of your comrades?

HUMAN McEWAN: [Shakes head and sighs (resignation)] Am I that transparent? Even to an overgrown ant? [Shrugs (resignation)] Yes, that's why I agreed to join in. I'm pretty good at playing Deception. Gunnery too, though Madge always wants to take that I mean, Cadet Corporal Majanita. If I did well, then everyone sees me winning for the team. It worked too, for about ten minutes after I won my first Moscow Express match. Then the madness took me and I joined Xin's team.

SCRIBE: I am concerned for you, friend McEwan. Your wild mood swings are still unexplained. Are you worried that they will affect your Scendence performance?

HUMAN McEWAN: Not enough to stop me playing.

SCRIBE: [Pauses. Scent signal indicates exasperation that human is failing to connect the probable causes of mental state]. When I first met you, you were singing. Was that an example of your strange mental state?

HUMAN McEWAN: No, that was the... the combat drugs. [Words slowed temporarily during previous sentence. Interpretation: (82% certainty) intense mental activity limiting speech capability. Conclusion: human has linked combat drugs with continuing mood changes.] Combat drugs! That's it! They've been pumping combat drugs into us continuously. Low dose. They're meant to keep you focused on fighting, a robot killer. Heightens your sense of loyalty. Everything else in your head is put on standby. That would explain everything. Why I've gone wild and everyone else is a robot. And... [Makes stabbing motion with finger at scribe. Interpretation: (81% certainty) threat display]. You knew, didn't you? Go on, deny it!

SCRIBE: I cannot answer that.

HUMAN McEWAN: [Shakes head.] That's not good enough. If you want our talks to continue, it's got to be a two-way thing. I share. You share. We both learn from each other. The colonel will skin me alive if I don't learn anything from you.

SCRIBE: What do you wish to learn, Arun?

HUMAN McEWAN: Did you know I was being drugged?

SCRIBE: [Hesitates. Emits deliberate falsehood scent.] No.

HUMAN McEWAN: [Tenses jaw muscles. Narrows eyes. Adopts aggressive stance. Interpretation: (92% certainty): dominance challenge. Scribe shows no reaction. Human soon abandons challenge.] Answer me this, then: do you think I'm being drugged by the Corps?

SCRIBE: This topic cannot be discussed.

HUMAN McEWAN: Figures. Thanks, pal. Okay, try this. Suppose, hypothetically, the Corps were giving us combat drugs. Speculate why they might do that.

SCRIBE: This topic cannot be discussed.

HUMAN McEWAN: [Growls. Interpretation: (99% certainty): threat display.] Forget everything I've just said. Let's play pretend instead. Suppose traitors wanted to disable the human Marines defending the base through a non-lethal drug. As a cadet faithful to my White Knight masters and their officers, I would want to know how to protect against such an attack. How would I protect myself from being drugged without arousing the suspicions of the traitors?

SCRIBE: You humans have extremely weak natural defenses. I cannot see what you could do. A drug or toxin could be administered through the air, drink, skin contact, food, nan.o.bots. You could be hypnotized to self-administer every night and then forget what you had done.

HUMAN McEWAN: How about you take my blood sample and use what you find to develop an antidote?

SCRIBE: [Twists antennae to indicate moral conflict.] Although I cannot discuss this topic, Arun, I make a solemn vow on the sanct.i.ty of the nest may I be cast beyond the boundary if I break my word. I shall do whatever is in my power to aid you. Even though you might not understand nor like what I shall do, yet shall I aid you.

==INTERROGATION FRAGMENT ENDS==.

[Archivist note: Subsequent events tell us that the scribe was faithful to its promise, and correct in its prediction that the human would hate the scribe for what it would do.]

* Chapter 21 *