Hudibras Part 13

This was the pen'worth of his thought, To pa.s.s time and uneasy trot.

Quoth he, In all my past adventures I ne'er was set so on the tenters; 60 Or taken tardy with dilemma, That ev'ry way I turn does hem me, And with inextricable doubt Besets my puzzled wits about: For tho' the dame has been my bail, 65 To free me from enchanted jail, Yet as a dog, committed close For some offence, by chance breaks loose, And quits his clog, but all in vain, He still draws after him his chain; 70 So, though my ankle she has quitted, My heart continues still committed; And like a bail'd and main-priz'd lover, Altho' at large, I am bound over; And when I shall appear in court, 75 To plead my cause, and answer for't, Unless the judge do partial prove, What will become of me and love?

For if in our account we vary, Or but in circ.u.mstance miscarry; 80 Or if she put me to strict proof, And make me pull my doublet off, To shew, by evident record Writ on my skin, I've kept my Word; How can I e'er expect to have her, 85 Having demurr'd onto her favour?

But faith, and love, and honour lost,.

Shall be reduc'd t' a Knight o' th' Post.

Beside, that stripping may prevent What I'm to prove by argument, 90 And justify I have a tail And that way, too, my proof may fail.

Oh that I cou'd enucleate, And solve the problems of my fate Or find, by necromantick art, 95 How far the dest'nies take my part For if I were not more than certain To win and wear her, and her fortune, I'd go no farther in his courtship, To hazard soul, estate, and worship 100 For though an oath obliges not Where any thing is to be got, (As thou last prov'd) yet 'tis profane, And sinful, when men swear in vain.

Quoth RALPH, Not far from hence doth dwell 105 A cunning man, hight SIDROPHEL, That deals in destiny's dark counsels, And sage opinions of the Moon sells; To whom all people, far and near, On deep importances repair; 110 When bra.s.s and pewter hap to stray, And linen slinks out of the way; When geese and pullen are seduc'd, And sows of sucking-pigs are chows'd; When cattle feel indisposition, 115 And need th' opinion of physician; When murrain reigns in hogs or sheep.

And chickens languish of the pip; When yeast and outward means do fail, And have no pow'r to work on ale: 120 When b.u.t.ter does refuse to come, And love proves cross and humoursome: To him with questions, and with urine, They for discov'ry flock, or curing.

Quoth HUDIBRAS, This SIDROPHEL 125 I've heard of, and should like it well, If thou canst prove the Saints have freedom To go to Sorc'rers when they need 'em.

Says RALPHO, There's no doubt of that Whose principles I quoted late, 130 Prove that the G.o.dly may alledge For any thing their Privilege; And to the Dev'l himself may go, If they have motives thereunto.

For, as there is a war between 135 The Dev'l and them, it is no sin, If they by subtle stratagem Make use of him, as he does them.

Has not this present Parliament A Ledger to the Devil sent, 140 Fully impowr'd to treat about Finding revolted witches out And has not he, within a year, Hang'd threescore of 'em in one shire?

Some only for not being drown'd, 145 And some for sitting above ground, Whole days and nights, upon their breeches, And feeling pain, were hang'd for witches.

And some for putting knavish tricks Upon green geese and turky-chicks, 150 And pigs, that suddenly deceast Of griefs unnat'ral, as he guest; Who after prov'd himself a witch And made a rod for his own breech.

Did not the Devil appear to MARTIN 155 LUTHER in Germany for certain; And wou'd have gull'd him with a trick, But Martin was too politick?

Did he not help the Dutch to purge At ANTWERP their Cathedral Church? 160 Sing catches to the Saints at MASCON, And tell them all they came to ask him Appear'd in divers shapes to KELLY, And speak i' th' Nun of LOUDON's belly?