How to Be a Demon King for Dummies Chapter 1 Part3

YAY! This is the last part of the first chapter.Woohoo, first job at translating and editing is really not easy. But it is enjoyable. I enjoy every bit when doing this.

Some parts in the novel might be confusing, but I’ll try my best to translate it so that it is understandable. Some phrases in Thai are really funny, but it is rather challenging when I tried to translate it to English. I’ll try my best!

After the travel, my b.u.t.t is sore from all the sitting till I cannot feel it anymore, I am now standing in front of the Castle of Darkness. The castle was built using black stones, situated in the middle of an abandoned mountain that I used to read about when I was a kid. All around is filled with crack gray lands as far as the eyes can see. It is more like standing in a castle ruin.

I came to understand later for the reason why they left the land bare and unattended like this because, in the last battle, the hero likes to show their powers which are very powerful and destructive. The trees and soil are all ruined. The fifth demon king which likes gardening and loves his garden more than life, almost killed the hero for real when his small bud of snow drop flew and landed right in front of him. From that day onward, they decided to leave that land barren for the convenience of being the last battle arena between the hero and the demon king.

The first thing I did when getting down from the carriage is run to the huge gate and slammed my hand loudly -‘pa!’ on the gate and shouted loudly –

“I, Archer Tiel, have come to take the throne as the twelfth demon king. I make my vow in front of the G.o.ddess of Darkness and Light that I will foster the hero to my utmost ability”

*pant pant* This is tiring. I practice saying this piece since boarding the flying ship, got off the ship, till sitting in the carriage. In total, I have practiced no less than a thousand and five hundred times!

Suddenly, a blue streak of lightning strikes the center roof of the castle powerfully. I, who have been walking till my legs went stiff, was startled and ended up a heap on the floor.

“Such a wonderful vow for the demon king throne, sire” The smiley demon pretended to wipe its tears with a huge handkerchief.  You dummy, it’s because you told me to hurry and make the vow before the Sword of Ratification cut me to shreds.

“So, am I safe now… ?” My voice sounded like someone on the verge of tears.

“Yes, sire”

“Then, I’m going home… Ahhhh!” I haven’t even got up when the blue lightning strikes again. This time, it strikes the stone beside me coincidentally, leaving a big hole, bigger than me by two times behind. …..I’m sorry~ I won’t go back.

“Hm? What did sire say just now?” The smiley demon turned to look at me. Why do I feel that the smile on your face is very creepy and I have a feeling that this is not my imagination.

“I said I’m… ” The sky above the castle starts to darken and there are some streaks up there which lights the smiley demon face in front of me blue, then comes the sound of thunder right after. “I’m thinking of installing another air conditioner in the bedroom in the castle, is that okay?”

The smiley demon smiles satisfyingly “Of course, sire is the king here now.”

Huuuu~ heaven is bullying me

When I finally have the strength to stand up, I followed the smiley demon into the castle. The chilling air from the stones and incense permeate the air, both sides of the hallway was decorated with stones and there is a dim light shone from the pearls, which it is commonly known as moon tears, giving off a dark atmosphere.

“If we read books in a place as dark as this, our eyesights will go bad soon” I mumbled while looking around and touching the pearl that is the most expensive in the world with cautions. Hmmm, so smooth, worth its price.

“This is the previous demon king’s taste, sire. Wait till sire gets to battle, I’ll bring a catalog for sire to choose some new furniture.”

“And why do I have to wait until battle?” I asked while narrowing my eyes to see the stone statue in the dimly lit place. A face that flashes with light and pastes with a smile turned to face me slowly, Ahh! I almost have a heart attack because of you! Please change the lamp immediately before the newspaper will be having a new headline where ‘The demon king died tragically because the servant’s face shocked him to death’.

The smiley face continued speaking while chuckling “Your majesty should read the manual I gave sire carefully. Sire’s allowance comes from plannings to foster heroes. Right now, sire only has a welfare for 3 meals a day and a place to live in.”

I can only shift my eyes else where trying not to look at this thing’s face. Why? because I’m afraid I will faint on the spot if I look at him any longer, that’s a stupid question.

After viewing the place a bit, I was thrown in a room that the smiley called ‘Sire’s bedroom’, then it just up and left.

“Uwaa This room looks ten times more s.p.a.cious than my old one” I mumbled while reviewing the room. The furniture furbished here is luxurious deserving to be used in the demon king’s castle. But I’ve only seen servants in the castle with the same smiley faces till my eyes are dizzy. So does this place really not have enough sum to hire other species? Then does my demon king t.i.tle is abbreviated from demon king (of the smiley face demons) that the words in the parenthesis are for my own understanding of it.

While I’m ranting in my mind, a smiley face demon came in carrying a heap of books, placed it in front of me, and hands me a blank book. “What is it again?”

“A manual to be the demon king, sire” This guy answered with a humbled tone. I realized even though they have the same face, they seem to have different voice and tone.

“Manual…” I looked at the book in my hand. No matter how I looked at it, it clearly looks like a diary.

“Yes sire. These are the manuals that the previous eleven demon kings left for you. Please feel free to read it and find a suitable strategy to deal with the hero tactfully ”

When I tried to flip open the bright eye piercing purple-ish book, in it contains methods to lure heroes correctly by the eleventh demon king. It also attached a picture of a blonde handsome male sending kisses, which sends chills up my spine and scared me till I dropped the book.

“What are you doing sire. These are national treasures.”

I apologized frantically while clamping… the book between my thumb and index finger. Finally, I recovered the book with purple cover and placed it where it was with the others while swearing if the hero is not a s.e.xy beauty, I’ll never touch this book. Please sympathize with my very fragile heart.

“Then please excuse me, sire. If you needed anything please ring the bell” He pointed to a bell at the corner of the room, then back peddled out the door humbly.

When there are no smiley demons in sight, I sat on the demon throne that gives a feeling no different than the chair back at home. No, wait. Those guys shipped the chair back at my place and placed it here, there’s still my name engraved on the chair leg. If I look carefully, the bed… that’s also my bed. Okay~ I’ve come up with a slogan ‘The Dark Castle… a good night’s sleep like you’re at home’

Considering it again, I should be relieved that I don’t have to use the same bed that the eleventh demon king used right… haha

I stared at the manual from the eleventh and the new book in my hand then sigh. I dipped the pen and start writing on the page of the manual for the next generation demon king.

My name is… huh I haven’t even started work yet, what could I possibly recommend? My whole fifteen years, four months, and twenty-seven days of my life was spent being a student and a farmer, I’ve never even touched a sword before.

But then again, even workbooks and homework will start by writing a name and ID first right?

My name is Archer Tiel, the twelfth demon king.

From that day forward, I started my life as a demon king that has to think up strategies to cultivate heroes.

I finished narrating the beginning of my story already, what are you babbling about huh hero? yes yes I know, I’m a bad demon king. Even though I don’t remember ever bullying you by stepping on your or any of your ancestor’s toes before. In brief, stop wasting time to d.a.m.n and preach me, I’ve been standing here sucking on lollipops till my teeth are full of cavities already. The mosquitoes are also sucking me, I wanna go back to sleep~

Someone, please tell the hero to stop preaching, pleeease.

Huh… You will rescue your princess? Ugghh That girl….. I beg you PLEASE come take her away quickly. I’m getting migraines because of her. Hmm? You’re confused about what princess I’m talking about? It’s a long story… It happens not long after I’m the demon king, the rest I’ll tell you later.

Sympathize with my face and legs that are getting cramps all over please. Ah~ finally, he is willing to attack me now Cheers!