How Successful People Think Part 5

In your organization, if you were involved in putting into place what currently exists, then it's likely that you will resist change-even change for the better. That's why it's important to challenge your own thinking. If you're too attached to your own thinking and how everything is done now, then nothing will change for the better.

4. Try New Things in New Ways When was the last time you did something for the first time? Do you avoid taking risks or trying new things? One of the best ways to get out of the rut of your own thinking is to innovate. You can do that in little, everyday ways: drive to work a different way from normal. Order an unfamiliar dish at your favorite restaurant. Ask a different colleague to help you with a familiar project. Take yourself off of autopilot.

Unpopular thinking asks questions and seeks options. In 1997, my three companies moved to Atlanta, Georgia. It's a great city, but traffic at peak times can get crazy. Immediately after moving here, I began looking for and testing alternative routes to desired destinations so that I would not be caught in traffic. From my house to the airport, for example, I have discovered and used nine routes within eight miles and twelve minutes from one another. Often I am amazed to see people sitting on the freeway when they could be moving forward on an alternative route. What is the problem? Too many people have not tried new things in new ways. It is true: most people are more satisfied with old problems than committed to finding new solutions.

How you go about doing new things in new ways is not as important as making sure you do it. (Besides, if you try to do new things in the same way that everyone else does, are you really going against popular thinking?) Get out there and do something different today.

5. Get Used to Being Uncomfortable When it comes right down to it, popular thinking is comfortable. It's like an old recliner adjusted to all the owner's idiosyncrasies. The problem with most old recliners is that no one has looked at them lately. If so, they'd agree that it's time to get a new one! If you want to reject popular thinking in order to embrace achievement, you'll have to get used to being uncomfortable.

If you embrace unpopular thinking and make decisions based upon what works best and what is right rather than what is commonly accepted, know this: in your early years you won't be as wrong as people think you are. In your later years, you won't be as right as people think you are. And all through the years, you will be better than you thought you could be.

Thinking Question

Am I consciously rejecting the limitations of common thinking in order to accomplish uncommon results?

9.

Benefit from Shared Thinking

"None of us is as smart as all of us."

-KEN BLANCHARD Good thinkers, especially those who are also good leaders, understand the power of shared thinking. They know that when they value the thoughts and ideas of others, they receive the compounding results of shared thinking and accomplish more than they ever could on their own.

Those who partic.i.p.ate in shared thinking understand the following: 1. Shared Thinking Is Faster than Solo Thinking We live in a truly fast-paced world. To function at its current rate of speed, we can't go it alone. I think the generation of young men and women just entering the workforce sense that very strongly. Perhaps that is why they value community so highly and are more likely to work for a company they like than one that pays them well. Working with others is like giving yourself a shortcut.

If you want to learn a new skill quickly, how do you do it? Do you go off by yourself and figure it out, or do you get someone to show you how? You can always learn more quickly from someone with experience-whether you're trying to learn how to use a new software package, develop your golf swing, or cook a new dish.

2. Shared Thinking Is More Innovative than Solo Thinking We tend to think of great thinkers and innovators as soloists, but the truth is that the greatest innovative thinking doesn't occur in a vacuum. Innovation results from collaboration. Albert Einstein once remarked, "Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received."

Shared thinking leads to greater innovation, whether you look at the work of researchers Marie and Pierre Curie, surrealists Luis Brunel and Salvador Dali, or songwriters John Lennon and Paul McCartney. If you combine your thoughts with the thoughts of others, you will come up with thoughts you've never had!

3. Shared Thinking Brings More Maturity than Solo Thinking As much as we would like to think that we know it all, each of us is probably painfully aware of our blind spots and areas of inexperience. When I first started out as a pastor, I had dreams and energy, but little experience. To try to overcome that, I attempted to get several high-profile pastors of growing churches to share their thinking with me. In the early 1970s, I wrote letters to the ten most successful pastors in the country, offering them what was a huge amount of money to me at the time ($100) to meet me for an hour, so that I could ask them questions. When one said yes, I'd visit him. I didn't talk much, except to ask a few questions. I wasn't there to impress anyone or satisfy my ego. I was there to learn. I listened to everything he said, took careful notes, and absorbed everything I could. Those experiences changed my life.

You've had experiences I haven't, and I've had experiences you haven't. Put us together and we bring a broader range of personal history-and therefore maturity-to the table. If you don't have the experience you need, hook up with someone who does.

4. Shared Thinking Is Stronger than Solo Thinking Philosopher-poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "To accept good advice is but to increase one's own ability." Two heads are better than one-when they are thinking in the same direction. It's like harnessing two horses to pull a wagon. They are stronger pulling together than either is individually. But did you know that when they pull together, they can move more weight than the sum of what they can move individually? A synergy comes from working together. That same kind of energy comes into play when people think together.

5. Shared Thinking Returns Greater Value than Solo Thinking Because shared thinking is stronger than solo thinking, it's obvious that it yields a higher return. That happens because of the compounding action of shared thinking. But it also offers other benefits. The personal return you receive from shared thinking and experiences can be great. Clarence Francis sums up the benefits in the following observation: "I sincerely believe that the word relationships is the key to the prospect of a decent world. It seems abundantly clear that every problem you will have-in your family, in your work, in our nation, or in this world-is essentially a matter of relationships, of interdependence."

6. Shared Thinking Is the Only Way to Have Great Thinking I believe that every great idea begins with three or four good ideas. And most good ideas come from shared thinking. Playwright Ben Jonson said, "He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master."

When I was in school, teachers put the emphasis on being right and on doing better than the other students, rarely on working together to come up with good answers. Yet all the answers improve when they make the best use of everyone's thinking. If we each have one thought, and together we have two thoughts, then we always have the potential for a great thought.

HOW TO ENCOURAGE THE PARTIc.i.p.aTION OF SHARED THINKING.

Some people naturally partic.i.p.ate in shared thinking. Any time they see a problem, they think, Who do I know who can help with this? Leaders tend to be that way. So do extroverts. However, you don't have to be either of those to benefit from shared thinking. Use the following steps to help you improve your ability to harness shared thinking: 1. Value the Ideas of Others First, believe that the ideas of other people have value. If you don't, your hands will be tied. How do you know if you truly want input from others? Ask yourself these questions: Am I emotionally secure? People who lack confidence and worry about their status, position, or power tend to reject the ideas of others, protect their turf, and keep people at bay. It takes a secure person to consider others' ideas. Years ago, an emotionally insecure person took a key position on my board of directors. After a couple of meetings, it became obvious to the other board members that this individual would not positively contribute to the organization. I asked a seasoned leader on the board, "Why does this person always do and say things that hinder our progress?" I'll never forget his reply: "Hurting people hurt people."

Do I place value on people? You won't value the ideas of a person if you don't value and respect the person himself or herself. Have you ever considered your conduct around people you value, versus those you don't? Look at the differences: If I Value PeopleIf I Don't Value People I want to spend time with them I don't want to be around them I listen to them I neglect to listen I want to help them I don't offer them help I am influenced by them I ignore them I respect them I am indifferent Do I value the interactive process?A wonderful synergy often occurs as the result of shared thinking. It can take you places you've never been. Publisher Malcolm Forbes a.s.serted, "Listening to advice often accomplishes far more than heeding it." I must say, I didn't always value shared thinking. For many years, I tended to withdraw when I wanted to develop ideas. Only reluctantly did I work on ideas with others. When a colleague challenged me on this, I started to a.n.a.lyze my hesitancy. I realized that it went back to my college experience. Some days in the cla.s.sroom I could tell that a teacher was unprepared to lecture and instead spent the cla.s.s time asking us to give our uninformed opinions on a subject. Most of the time, the opinions seemed no better than mine. I had come to cla.s.s so that the professor could teach me. I realized that the process of sharing ideas wasn't the problem; it was who was doing the talking. Shared thinking is only as good as the people doing the sharing. Since learning that lesson, I have embraced the interactive process, and now I believe it is one of my strengths. Still, I always think about whom I bring around the table for a shared thinking session. (I'll tell you my guidelines for whom I invite later in this chapter.) You must open yourself up to the idea of sharing ideas before you will engage in the process of shared thinking.

2. Move from Compet.i.tion to Cooperation Jeffrey J. Fox, author of How to Become CEO, says, "Always be on the lookout for ideas. Be completely indiscriminate as to the source. Get ideas from customers, children, compet.i.tors, other industries, or cab drivers. It doesn't matter who thought of an idea." 18 A person who values cooperation desires to complete the ideas of others, not compete with them. If someone asks you to share ideas, focus on helping the team, not getting ahead personally. And if you are the one who brings people together to share their thoughts, praise the idea more than the source of the idea. If the best idea always wins (rather than the person who offered it), then all will share their thoughts with greater enthusiasm.

3. Have an Agenda When You Meet I enjoy spending time with certain people, whether we discuss ideas or not: my wife, Margaret; my children; my grandchildren; my parents. Though we often do discuss ideas, it doesn't bother me if we don't; we are family. When I spend time with nearly anyone else in my life, however, I have an agenda. I know what I want to accomplish.

The more I respect the wisdom of the person, the more I listen. For example, when I meet with someone I'm mentoring, I let the person ask the questions, but I expect to do most of the talking. When I meet with someone who mentors me, I mostly keep my mouth shut. In other relationships, the give and take is more even. But no matter with whom I meet, I have a reason for getting together and I have an expectation for what I'll give to it and get from it. That's true whether it's for business or pleasure.

4. Get the Right People Around the Table To get anything of value out of shared thinking, you need to have people around who bring something to the table. As you prepare to ask people to partic.i.p.ate in shared thinking, use the following criteria for the selection process. Choose...

People whose greatest desire is the success of the ideas.

People who can add value to another's thoughts.

People who can emotionally handle quick changes in the conversation.

People who appreciate the strengths of others in areas where they are weak.

People who understand their place of value at the table.

People who place what is best for the team before themselves.

People who can bring out the best thinking in the people around them.

People who possess maturity, experience, and success in the issue under discussion.

People who will take ownership and responsibility for decisions.

People who will leave the table with a "we" att.i.tude, not a "me" att.i.tude.

Too often we choose our brainstorming partners based on feelings of friendship or circ.u.mstances or convenience. But that doesn't help us to discover and create the ideas of the highest order. Who we invite to the table makes all the difference.

5. Compensate Good Thinkers and Collaborators Well Successful organizations practice shared thinking. If you lead an organization, department, or team, then you can't afford to be without people who are good at shared thinking. As you recruit and hire, look for good thinkers who value others, have experience with the collaborative process, and are emotionally secure. Then pay them well and challenge them to use their thinking skills and share their ideas often. Nothing adds value like a lot of good thinkers putting their minds together.

No matter what you're trying to accomplish, you can do it better with shared thinking. That is why I spend much of my life teaching leadership. Good leadership helps to put together the right people at the right time for the right purpose so that everybody wins. All it takes is the right people and a willingness to partic.i.p.ate in shared thinking.

Thinking Question

Am I consistently including the heads of others to think "over my head" and achieve compounding results?

10.

Practice Unselfish Thinking

"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own."

-BEN SWEETLAND So far in this book, we've discussed many kinds of thinking that can help you to achieve more. Each of them has the potential to make you more successful. Now I want to acquaint you with a kind of thinking with the potential to change your life in another way. It might even redefine how you view success.

Unselfish thinking can often deliver a return greater than any other kind of thinking. Take a look at some of its benefits: 1. Unselfish Thinking Brings Personal Fulfillment Few things in life bring greater personal rewards than helping others. Charles H. Burr believed, "Getters generally don't get happiness; givers get it." Helping people brings great satisfaction. When you spend your day unselfishly serving others, at night you can lay down your head with no regrets and sleep soundly. In Bringing Out the Best in People, Alan Loy McGinnis remarked, "There is no more n.o.ble occupation in the world than to a.s.sist another human being-to help someone succeed."

Even if you have spent much of your life pursuing selfish gain, it's never too late to have a change of heart. Even the most miserable person, like Charles d.i.c.kens's Scrooge, can turn his life around and make a difference for others. That's what Alfred n.o.bel did. When he saw his own obituary in the newspaper (his brother had died and the editor had written about the wrong n.o.bel, saying that the explosives his company produced had killed many people), n.o.bel vowed to promote peace and acknowledge contributions to humanity. That is how the n.o.bel Prizes came into being.

2. Unselfish Thinking Adds Value to Others In 1904, Bessie Anderson Stanley wrote the following definition of success in Brown Book magazine:

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children, who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it, who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had, whose life was an inspiration, whose memory a benediction.

When you get outside of yourself and make a contribution to others, you really begin to live.

3. Unselfish Thinking Encourages Other Virtues When you see a four-year-old, you expect to observe selfishness. But when you see it in a forty-year-old, it's not very attractive, is it?

Of all the qualities a person can pursue, unselfish thinking seems to make the biggest difference toward cultivating other virtues. I think that's because the ability to give unselfishly is so difficult. It goes against the grain of human nature. But if you can learn to think unselfishly and become a giver, then it becomes easier to develop many other virtues: grat.i.tude, love, respect, patience, discipline, etc.

4. Unselfish Thinking Increases Quality of Life The spirit of generosity created by unselfish thinking gives people an appreciation for life and an understanding of its higher values. Seeing those in need and giving to meet that need puts a lot of things into perspective. It increases the quality of life of the giver and the receiver. That's why I believe that There is no life as empty as the self-centered life.

There is no life as centered as the self-empty life.

If you want to improve your world, then focus your attention on helping others.

5. Unselfish Thinking Makes You Part of SomethingGreater than Yourself Merck and Company, the global pharmaceutical corporation, has always seen itself as doing more than just producing products and making a profit. It desires to serve humanity. In the mid-1980s, the company developed a drug to cure river blindness, a disease that infects and causes blindness in millions of people, particularly in developing countries. While it was a good product, potential customers couldn't afford to buy it. So what did Merck do? It developed the drug anyway, and in 1987 announced that it would give the medicine free to anyone who needed it. As of 1998, the company had given more than 250 million tablets away. 19 George W. Merck says, "We try never to forget that medicine is for the people. It is not for the profits. The profits follow, and if we have remembered that, they have never failed to appear." The lesson to be learned? Simple. Instead of trying to be great, be part of something greater than yourself.

6. Unselfish Thinking Creates a Legacy Jack Balousek, president and chief operating officer of True North Communications, says, "Learn, earn, return-these are the three phases of life. The first third should be devoted to education, the second third to building a career and making a living, and the last third to giving back to others-returning something in grat.i.tude. Each state seems to be a preparation for the next one."

If you are successful, it becomes possible for you to leave an inheritance for others. But if you desire to do more, to create a legacy, then you need to leave that in others. When you think unselfishly and invest in others, you gain the opportunity to create a legacy that will outlive you.

HOW TO EXPERIENCE THE SATISFACTION OF UNSELFISH THINKING.

I think most people recognize the value of unselfish thinking, and most would even agree that it's an ability they would like to develop. Many people, however, are at a loss concerning how to change their thinking. To begin cultivating the ability to think unselfishly, I recommend that you do the following: 1. Put Others First The process begins with realizing that everything is not about you! That requires humility and a shift in focus. In The Power of Ethical Management, Ken Blanchard and Norman Vincent Peale wrote, "People with humility don't think less of themselves; they just think of themselves less." If you want to become less selfish in your thinking, then you need to stop thinking about your wants and begin focusing on others' needs. Paul the Apostle exhorted, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." 20 Make a mental and emotional commitment to look out for the interests of others.

2. Expose Yourself to Situations Where People Have Needs It's one thing to believe you are willing to give unselfishly. It's another to actually do it. To make the transition, you need to put yourself in a position where you can see people's needs and do something about it.

The kind of giving you do isn't important at first. You can serve at your church, make donations to a food bank, volunteer professional services, or give to a charitable organization. The point is to learn how to give and to cultivate the habit of thinking like a giver.

3. Give Quietly or Anonymously Once you have learned to give of yourself, then the next step is to learn to give when you cannot receive anything in return. It's almost always easier to give when you receive recognition for it than it is when no one is likely to know about it. The people who give in order to receive a lot of fanfare, however, have already received any reward they will get. There are spiritual, mental, and emotional benefits that come only to those who give anonymously. If you've never done it before, try it.

4. Invest in People Intentionally The highest level of unselfish thinking comes when you give of yourself to another person for that person's personal development or well-being. If you're married or a parent, you know this from personal experience. What does your spouse value most highly: money in the bank or your time freely given? What would small children really rather have from you: a toy or your undivided attention? The people who love you would rather have you than what you can give them.

If you want to become the kind of person who invests in people, then consider others and their journey so that you can collaborate with them. Each relationship is like a partnership created for mutual benefit. As you go into any relationship, think about how you can invest in the other person so that it becomes a win-win situation. Here is how relationships most often play out: I win, you lose-I win only once.

You win, I lose-You win only once.

We both win-We win many times.