House Of Obsidian: Flawed Love Part 14

"Wow," I whisper, licking a drop of come from my bottom lip.

"f.u.c.k," he says, his eyes following the action.

He slowly moves his body from mine and climbs off the bed, disappearing into my bathroom and returning a moment later with a washcloth. I try not to stare openly at his naked body, but it's hard. It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. My eyes travel over his tattoos and I'm fascinated by the intricate designs marking his skin. My eyes fall to one on his peck, and it seems my world stands still.

I must be seeing it wrong.

I have to be.

I blink a few times, and my bottom lip starts to tremble, because in amongst the arraignment of black ink is a name. You can barely see it in there because of the heavy designs surrounding it, but it's most certainly a name. Three little letters. Emy. He has my name on his chest, right over his heart. I look away before he can see the tears that threaten to explode over. I close my eyes and keep them that way as he cleans my body.

"You okay?" he asks.

I take a shaky breath. "Ah, yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I smile weakly.

I expect him to leave, but instead he drops back down onto the bed beside me, taking my hand.

It's a tiny gesture, but it means the world to me.

If only he knew it.

"You have a lot of ink," I say to Rainer as we lie side by side, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah. It makes me feel good."

"I've always been too scared to try it out." I smile.

"It's probably a good thing," he murmurs, shifting so our legs touch. "Once you start, it's hard to stop."

"Do they have any special meanings?" I ask nervously, wondering about my name on his chest and hoping he'll answer it.

"Every one of them."

"Care to share?" I offer and he rolls to his side so he's looking down at me, elbow propping his head up.

"The ones all over my back are covering scars."

My eyes widen. "Scars?"

"Yeah, scars. I had a lot of them."

He never had scars when I knew him. What the h.e.l.l could have happened to him for him to get enough scars that he had to have them covered? That and his vagueness about the past is making me think he might have been in some sort of accident.

"Did you have a car accident or something?" I warily ask.

"Or something."

That same answer. Always that same answer.

"That's okay. You don't have to tell me. I get that. I respect that."

No. I don't. I really don't.

"Thanks," he mumbles.

"But I'm still curious about the tattoos. What do the rest mean?" I point to one on his stomach, a long, beautifully carved chain that's snapped on the end.

"That represents being caught, and being free."

I run my fingers over it, and he shivers but he doesn't ask me to stop so I don't.

"And this?" I ask, stopping at a bright red rose hanging off the end of the chain, as if it's hanging on for dear life.

"That's for Pippa."

I hope he doesn't realize how my body jerks at that.

"What does it mean?" I force myself to ask in a normal tone.

"The same thing. Only more beautiful."

Oh G.o.d.

"What about this one?" I point to the name over his heart, my name.

"The name or the design surrounding it?"

"Both," I say.

"The name is a girl I used to know."

"Used to?" I question casually.

"Yeah, she was my best friend growing up. I know that. I'm vague about the rest."

"You don't remember?"

He shrugs. "Things have happened and the memories aren't what they should be, but I know she mattered to me, at that time, more than anyone in my world."

My chest tightens and I want to throw my arms around his neck and tell him it'll all be okay. I want him to know he's not alone. That he still has that girl and he doesn't even know it.

"She must have been special to get a place over your heart."

He smiles and his finger goes to the tattoo, stroking over it. "Yeah," he says, his eyes a little distant. "She sure was."

"How come you stopped being friends?"

"I got into bad s.h.i.t, things happened and . . ."

And. And. And. G.o.d, please answer the and!

"And?" I prompt.

"And I was no longer the same man. The past was best left where it was."

G.o.d. I want to scream and protest, to tell him she would have done anything for him to come back, to know he was okay. She would have helped him. G.o.d. I would have laid down my life for him.

"I wouldn't have thought that would matter to someone who was a friend," I dare to say.

"No, it wouldn't have mattered, but you know what would have hurt her? Is that I don't remember a good deal. Everything is hazy. I can't even recall her face-just a memory of someone I adored. I have vague memories of time I spent with her, but that whole part of my life is a hazy mess."

"I'm sorry," I say, because it's all I can manage.

But one thing is for sure-Rainer didn't recognize my face because he doesn't remember much about that time.

That gives me some hope.

Some.

CHAPTER TWELVE.

THEN a MALI

This is lame.

He's going to hate it.

Why am I doing this?

I stand on Rainer's front lawn, thankful his father's car isn't in the drive because he'd probably come out and lose his s.h.i.t at me for what I'm about to do. I have to do it, though. Rainer feels as if he's losing his best friend, and that's not cool with me. I want him to know he'll never lose me. The girl I was last night . . . she isn't who I want to be, and he was right. It might have felt nice at the time, but it's not what I'm about.

This is what I'm about.

I reach up and press the play b.u.t.ton on the ma.s.sive boom box I'm holding on my shoulder, like from that movie, 'Say Anything'. It took me all day to locate one, but it turned out Kenny's dad had an old one in his garage, and he was cool to let me borrow it. Now I'm standing like a fool with it resting on my shoulder because there's no way I can hold it in the air, and praying that Rainer is in his room.

The music flows out as soon as my finger hits the b.u.t.ton and I quickly turn the volume up to Rainer's favorite song, the one from the movie Top Gun-"Highway to the Danger Zone." It comes pouring out of the speakers, a heavy, s.e.xy beat that even has my skin p.r.i.c.kling. Okay, it's not romantic, but it's him, and that's the point.

The music pounds for what seems like hours, and my shoulder aches. I wonder if he's not home. That would be completely s.h.i.t, because my plan kind of requires him to be here. Just as I'm about to lose my nerve, his window slides up and I see his half-naked form peer out. It takes him a moment to realize it's me and then his eyes widen.

"Emy, what the f.u.c.k?" he calls down.

"I won't stop doing this until you forgive me for being a complete d.i.c.k-face. I'm sorry, Rai Rai. I was acting like a tart monkey and you were right, it's not me. So, I'm going to charm you until you forgive me."

He stares at me, then a big smile spreads across his face and I realize I've won him over.

"Get up here, kid."

Grinning big, I lower the boom box off my shoulder and run towards the front door, dropping it at my feet just outside. A moment later, Rainer swings it open and jerks me into his arms. My tiny body flies up and my feet dangle off the floor as he holds onto me. I finally manage to get my arms around his neck and I hang onto him, so grateful he's in my life.

"I'm sorry I was a drama queen," I murmur.

He lets me go and stares down at me. "Yeah, me too. I was a d.i.c.k."

"A d.i.c.k with his heart in the right place."

He grins and reaches down, lifting the boom box. "Where'd you get this baby?"

"Kenny's dad. He has everything."

"Sweet."

He kicks the front door closed and I follow him up to his room. I open the door for him, step in and then close and lock it behind him. He puts the boom box down and we both flop down onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling. "So, did you kick Jack the sack to the curb?" he asks.

"Nah, but I haven't called him back. I think he's p.i.s.sed at me."

"Because of me?"

"Maybe. I guess our friendship is one of those things a lot of people just can't understand."

"Nah, you're right about that."

"Have you seen Missy?"

He nods. "Yeah. Told her if she ever does something like that again, I'll cut her fake plastic t.i.ts out myself and shove them up her a.s.s."

"Rainer!" I laugh. "That's so mean."

"So is her having some giant butch beast punch my best girl in the stomach. That s.h.i.t is weak, and cowardly, and I have no tolerance for it."

"So are you still going to see her?"