Homeward Bound Part 24

At last, she said, "I think it is yet another conflict between my biology and my upbringing. When wild Big Uglies are small, they fixate on those who sired and hatched them. This is necessary for them, because they are helpless when newly hatched. But the Race does not form that kind of bond."

"I should hope not," Atvar said. "Our hatchlings can take care of themselves from the moment they leave the egg. Why not? If they could not, they would have soon become prey in the days before we were civilized."

"Yes, I understand that," Ka.s.squit said. "It is only natural that Ttomalss should have had trouble forming such a bond with me. I give him credit: he did try. But it was not natural, as it would have been for wild Big Uglies. And I noticed his incomplete success-things being as they are, I could hardly help noticing. I could hardly help resenting what he could not give me, either."

"All this was some while ago, though," Atvar said. "Surely your resentment has faded over the pa.s.sing years?"

"To some degree-but only to some degree," Ka.s.squit replied. "You will know, I am sure, that there have been times when Ttomalss has treated me as much as an experimental animal as a friend or someone else with whom he should have forged a bond of trust. This failure has naturally kept resentment alive in me. Am I an autonomous individual, or only an object of curiosity?"

"You are both," Atvar said, which struck Ka.s.squit as basically honest-at least, it was the same conclusion she'd reached herself. The fleetlord went on, "Because of your biology and your upbringing, you will always be an object of interest to the Race. By now, I suspect you have also resigned yourself to this."

"To some degree-but only to some degree," Ka.s.squit repeated, adding an emphatic cough to that. "For example, the Race held me in cold sleep for years instead of reviving me and letting me become acquainted with Home. This decision was made for me; I had no chance to partic.i.p.ate in it myself."

"There is some truth in that, but only some," Atvar said. "One of the reasons the decision was made for you, as you say, is that we admire your professional competence and value your ability in dealing with the wild Big Uglies. We wanted to do our best to make sure you would be in good health when they arrived."

Ka.s.squit made the negative gesture. "You do not understand, Exalted Fleetlord. You did that for your benefit, for the Race's benefit, for the Empire's benefit, and not for mine. There is a difference, like it or not."

The fleetlord sighed. "I can see that you might think so. But are you not a citizen of the Empire? You have certainly said so often enough."

"Yes, I am a citizen of the Empire. I am proud to be a citizen of the Empire." Ka.s.squit used another emphatic cough. "But does the Empire not have a certain obligation to treat its citizens justly? If it does not, why is being a citizen any sort of privilege?"

"You are are an individual." By Atvar's tone, he did not mean it as a compliment. "You also-forgive me-sound very much like a Tosevite. Your species is more individualistic than ours." an individual." By Atvar's tone, he did not mean it as a compliment. "You also-forgive me-sound very much like a Tosevite. Your species is more individualistic than ours."

"Maybe the Empire needs more Tosevite citizens," Ka.s.squit said. "Perhaps things here have been too tranquil for too long."

Atvar laughed at her. "Things have not been tranquil since we found out what wild Big Uglies were capable of. They will not be tranquil again for a long time to come. But you may be right. I think his Majesty believes you are. That is part of the reason you are receiving this audience."

"Whatever the reason, it is a great honor," Ka.s.squit said. "Shall we rehea.r.s.e the ceremony again, Exalted Fleetlord? I want everything to be perfect." She used yet another emphatic cough.

Ttomalss liked talking with Major Frank Coffey. His reason for liking that particular American had nothing to do with the Big Ugly's personality, though Coffey was pleasant enough. It wasn't even rational, and Ttomalss knew it wasn't. Knowing as much didn't make it go away.

He liked Coffey's color.

He knew exactly why, too. The officer's dark brown hide reminded him of the green-brown of his own scaly skin. It made the wild Big Ugly seem less alien, more familiar, than the pinkish beige of the other American Tosevites. He wasn't, of course. Ttomalss understood that full well. Understanding didn't make the feeling go away.

Coffey got up from the chair made for a Big Ugly's hindquarters in one of the hotel's conference rooms. He stretched and sighed. "It was kind of you to make this furniture for us," he said, "but you would never get rich selling chairs back on Tosev 3."

"I am sure that is a truth," Ttomalss said. "Some of the things Tosevites make for the Race are also imperfect. No species can ever be completely familiar with another. The Rabotevs and Hallessi still surprise us every now and again."

"Interesting. And I believe you. Even different cultures on Tosev 3 run up against this same difficulty," Coffey said. "I am glad you said it, too. It brings me to one of the fundamental troubles in the relationship between my not-empire and the Empire, one that needs to be solved."

"Speak. Give forth," Ttomalss urged. "Is that not why you have come: to solve the difficulties between the United States and the Empire?" Had he been a Big Ugly himself, the corners of his mouth would have curled up in the Tosevites' facial gesture of benevolent amiability. He liked liked Frank Coffey. Frank Coffey.

He also made the mistake of a.s.suming that, because he liked Coffey, the wild Big Ugly would not say anything he did not like. Coffey proceeded to disabuse him of that a.s.sumption. "The difficulty is that the Race does not does not recognize Tosevite not-empires as equals," he declared, and added an emphatic cough. "This recognize Tosevite not-empires as equals," he declared, and added an emphatic cough. "This must must change if relations between us are to find their proper footing." He used another one. change if relations between us are to find their proper footing." He used another one.

"But that is not so," Ttomalss protested. "We have equal relationships with the United States, with the SSSR, with the Nipponese Empire, with Britain-even with the Reich, Reich, though we defeated it. How can you complain of this?" though we defeated it. How can you complain of this?"

"Very easily," Frank Coffey answered. "You say that we are your equals, but down deep in your livers you do not believe it. Can you tell me I am mistaken? You thought from the beginning that we were nothing but sword-swinging savages. Down deep, you still believe it, and you still act as if you believe it. Will you make me believe I am wrong?"

Ttomalss thought that over. He did not have to think for very long. The wild Big Ugly had a point. The Race was proud of its ancient, long-stable civilization. What could wild Big Uglies be but uncouth barbarians who were good at fighting and treachery but very little else?

Slowly, the psychologist said, "This is perceptive of you. How did you come to realize it?"

Frank Coffey laughed a loud Tosevite laugh. "It is plain enough to any Tosevite with eyes to see. And it is especially obvious to a Tosevite of my color." He brushed a hand along the skin of his forearm, a gesture he made with the air of one who had used it before.

"What do you mean?" Ttomalss asked.

"You will know that pale Tosevites have discriminated against those of my color," Coffey said, and waited. Ttomalss made the affirmative gesture. The American went on, "This discrimination is now illegal in my not-empire. We are all supposed to be equal, legally and socially. Supposed to be, I say. There are still a fair number of pale Big Uglies who would would discriminate against dark ones if only they could get away with it. These days, showing that too openly is not acceptable in the United States. But one of us usually has no trouble telling when pale Tosevites have such feelings, even when they try to hide them. And so you should not be surprised when I recognize the symptoms of the disease in the Race as well." discriminate against dark ones if only they could get away with it. These days, showing that too openly is not acceptable in the United States. But one of us usually has no trouble telling when pale Tosevites have such feelings, even when they try to hide them. And so you should not be surprised when I recognize the symptoms of the disease in the Race as well."

"I see," Ttomalss said slowly. "How did you persuade the pale Big Uglies to stop discriminating in law against you darker ones?"

"'Discriminating in law,' " Frank Coffey echoed. "That is a nice phrase, a very nice phrase. We had two advantages. First, the Reich Reich discriminated against groups it did not like, discriminated very blatantly-and we were at war with the discriminated against groups it did not like, discriminated very blatantly-and we were at war with the Reich, Reich, so whatever it did looked bad to us, and became something we were embarra.s.sed to imitate. And then the Race tried to conquer all Tosevites. To resist, the United States had to draw support from all its own inhabitants. Discriminating in law became something we could not afford to do, and so we stopped." so whatever it did looked bad to us, and became something we were embarra.s.sed to imitate. And then the Race tried to conquer all Tosevites. To resist, the United States had to draw support from all its own inhabitants. Discriminating in law became something we could not afford to do, and so we stopped."

"Back in ancientest history, I believe the Race was also divided into subspecies," Ttomalss said. "But long years of mixing have made us highly uniform. I suspect the same may happen with you."

Coffey shrugged. "So it may. But it will not happen soon, even by the way the Race reckons time. During your mating seasons, your males and females are not too fussy about mating partners. That helps you mix. With us, it is different."

"I suppose it would be," Ttomalss said. "So social discrimination also lingers in mating, even though discrimination in law does not?"

"Yes, it does," the American Big Ugly replied. "Now I praise you for your perceptiveness. Not many from another culture, from another biology, would have seen the implications of that."

"I thank you," Ttomalss said. "I have been studying your species and its paradoxes for some years now. I am glad to be reminded every now and then that I have gained at least a little insight. Perhaps my close involvement with Ka.s.squit has also helped."

Coffey nodded. He started to catch himself and add the Race's gesture of agreement, but Ttomalss waved for him not to bother. The Tosevite said, "I can see how it might have. Ka.s.squit is a remarkable individual. You did a good job of raising her. By our standards she is strange-no doubt of that-but I would have expected any Tosevite brought up by the Race to be not just strange but hopelessly insane. We are different in so many vital ways."

"Again, I thank you. And I will not lie to you: raising Ka.s.squit was the hardest thing I have ever done." Ttomalss thought about what he'd just said. He had spent some time in the captivity of the Chinese female, Liu Han. She'd terrorized him, addicted him to ginger, and made him think every day in her clutches would be his last. Had raising Ka.s.squit been harder than that that? As a matter of fact, it had. "Is imperfect grat.i.tude always the lot of those who bring up Tosevites?"

Major Coffey laughed again, this time loud and long. "Maybe not always, Senior Researcher, but often, very often. You need not be surprised about that."

"How do those who raise hatchlings tolerate this?" Ttomalss asked.

"What choice have they-have we-got?" the wild Big Ugly said. "It is one of the things that come with being a Tosevite."

"Do you speak from experience? Have you hatchlings of your own?"

"Yes and no, respectively," Coffey replied. "I have no hatchlings myself. I am a soldier, and I always believed a soldier would not make a good permanent mate. But you must recall, Senior Researcher-I was a hatchling myself. I locked horns with my own father plenty of times."

"'Locked horns,' " Ttomalss repeated. "This must be a translated idiom from your language. Does it mean, to quarrel?"

"That is exactly what it means."

"Interesting. When you Tosevites use our tongue, you enliven it with your expressions," Ttomalss said. "Some of them, I suspect, will stay in the language. Others will probably disappear."

"Your language has done the same thing to English," Major Coffey said. "We use interrogative and emphatic coughs. We say, 'Truth,' when we mean agreement. We use other phrases and ways of speaking of yours, too. Languages have a way of rubbing off on one another."

"You would know more about that than I do," Ttomalss told him. "Our language borrowed place names and names for animals and plants from the tongues of Rabotev 2 and Halless 1. Past that, those tongues did not have much of an effect on it. And, of course, the Rabotevs and Hallessi speak our language now, and speak it the same way as we do."

"You expect the same thing to happen on Tosev 3, don't you?" Coffey said.

Ttomalss made the affirmative gesture. "Yes, over the course of years. It may-it probably will-take longer there than with the Rabotevs and Hallessi. Your leading cultures are more advanced than theirs were." He held up a hand. "You were going to say something about your equality. Let me finish, if you please."

"It shall be done, Exalted Researcher," the wild Big Ugly said with a fine show of sarcasm. "By all means, go on."

"I thank you so very much," Ttomalss said, matching dry for dry. "What I wanted to tell you was that the process has already begun in those parts of Tosev 3 the Race rules. That is more than half the planet. Your not-empire may still be independent, but you cannot claim it is dominant."

"I do not claim that. I never have. The United States never has," Coffey replied. "But the Race seems unwilling to admit that independence means formal equality. The Emperor may have more power than the President of the United States. As sovereigns, though, they both have equal rank."

That notion revolted Ttomalss. It would have revolted almost any member of the Race. To say the Emperor was no more than equal to a wild Big Ugly chosen for a limited term by snoutcounting . . . was absurd. Even if it was true under the rules of diplomacy (rules the Race had had to resurrect from ancientest history, and also to borrow from the Tosevites), it was still absurd.

That he should think so went a long way toward proving Frank Coffey's point. If Ttomalss hadn't spent so many years working with the Big Uglies, he wouldn't even have realized that. Realizing it made him like it no better.

"You are very insistent on this sovereign equality," he said.

"And so we ought to be," Coffey answered. "We spilled too much of our blood fighting to keep it. You take yours lightly because it has never been challenged till now."

Ttomalss started to make a sharp reply: Coffey was presumptuous if he imagined the American Tosevites truly challenged the Race. At the last moment, though, the psychologist held his peace. Not for the first time, dealing with the Tosevites made him feel as if he were trying to reach into a mirror and deal with all the reversed images he found there. That the American Big Uglies could be as proud of their silly snoutcounted temporary leader as the Race was of the Emperor and all the tradition behind his office was preposterous on the face of it . . . to the Race.

But it was not preposterous to the Americans. Ttomalss had needed a long time to realize that. The Big Uglies might be as wrong about their snoutcounting as they were about the silly superst.i.tions they used in place of due reverence for the spirits of Emperors past. They might be wrong, yes, but they were very much-very much-in earnest. The Race needed to remember that. much-in earnest. The Race needed to remember that.

It made dealing with the American Tosevites more complicated and more difficult. But, when dealing with Tosevites, what wasn't difficult?

Karen Yeager looked at her husband. She said, "Do you know what I'd do?"

"No, but you're going to tell me, so how much difference does that make?" Jonathan replied with the resigned patience of a man who'd been a husband for a long time.

She sniffed. Resigned patience wasn't what she wanted right now. She wanted sympathy. She also wanted ice cubes. "I'd kill for a cold lemonade, that's what I'd do," she declared.

"Now that you mention it, so would I," Jonathan said. "But you haven't got any, and I haven't got any, either. So we're safe from each other, anyway. Besides, we're more than ten light-years from the nearest lemon."

"A cold c.o.ke, then. A cold gla.s.s of ippa-fruit juice. A cold anything. Ice Ice water, for heaven's sake." Karen walked over to the window of their hotel room and stared out. The alien landscape had grown familiar, even boring. "Who would have thought the Race didn't know about ice?" water, for heaven's sake." Karen walked over to the window of their hotel room and stared out. The alien landscape had grown familiar, even boring. "Who would have thought the Race didn't know about ice?"

"They know. They just don't care. There's a difference," Jonathan said. "And besides, we already knew they didn't care. We've spent enough time in their cities back on Earth."

He was right. Karen sniffed again anyhow. She didn't want right. She really really wanted ice cubes. She said, "They don't care what we like. That's what the problem is. They know we like cold things, and they haven't given us a way to get any. You call that diplomacy?" wanted ice cubes. She said, "They don't care what we like. That's what the problem is. They know we like cold things, and they haven't given us a way to get any. You call that diplomacy?"

"Some of them know we like ice, yeah. They know it here." Her husband tapped his head. "But they don't know it here." He set a hand on his stomach. "They don't really believe it. Besides, I can guarand.a.m.n-tee you there's not a single ice-cube tray on this whole planet."

"And this is a real for-true civilization?" Karen exclaimed. Jonathan laughed, but she went on, "Dammit, there's bound to be something they could use to make ice cubes. Gelatin molds, maybe-I don't know. But we ought to be asking for them, whatever they are, and for a freezer to put them in."

"Talk to the concierge," Jonathan suggested. "If that doesn't work, talk to Atvar. If he can't do anything about it, you're stuck."

The concierge was a snooty Lizard named Nibgris. He understood about freezers; the Race used them to keep food fresh, just as humans did. But the idea that someone might want small bits of frozen water flummoxed him. "What would you use them for, superior Tosevite?" he asked, using the honorific with the same oily false politeness hotel people laid on back on Earth.

"To make the liquids I drink colder and more enjoyable," Karen answered.

Nibgris' eye turrets aimed every which way but right at her. That meant he thought she was crazy but was too polite to say so out loud. "How can a cold drink possibly be more enjoyable than one at the proper temperature?" he asked.

"To Tosevites, cold drinks are are proper," she said. proper," she said.

"What do you expect me to use to hold the bits of water?" he inquired.

"I do not know," Karen said. "This is not my world. It is yours. I was hoping you might help me. Is that not why you are employed here?"

"Perhaps, superior female, you might use a few tens of measuring cups." Nibgris' mouth fell open in a laugh. He didn't expect to be taken seriously.

Karen didn't care what he expected. Briskly, she made the affirmative gesture. "They would do excellently. I thank you. Please bring a small freezer and the measuring cups up to my room at once."

The concierge's tailstump quivered in agitation. "We have not got that many cups in the entire establishment!"

"Do you suppose you could send someone out to buy them?" Karen asked. "I am sure your government would reimburse you. Even if it did not, though, I doubt the expense would bankrupt the hotel."

Nibgris jerked as if a mosquito had bitten him. A sarcastic Big Ugly seemed to be the last thing he knew how to face. "It is not the expense," he said plaintively. "It is the ridiculousness of the request."

"Is any request that leads to making a guest more comfortable ridiculous?" Karen asked.

"Well . . . no." Nibgris spoke with obvious reluctance. People who worked in hotels always claimed their first goal was making their guests comfortable. More often than not, it was really making things more convenient for themselves. That didn't seem much different here on Home.

"I would do it myself, but I do not have any of your money," Karen said. "It would be a great help to me and to my mate and to all the other Tosevites. We would be most grateful." She added an emphatic cough.

By the way Nibgris' tongue flicked in and out, he cared nothing for humans' grat.i.tude. But the resigned sigh that followed was amazingly manlike. "It shall be done, superior Tosevite."

"I thank you," Karen said sweetly. She could afford to be sweet now. She'd got what she wanted-or thought she had.

Nibgris took his own sweet time about having the Lizards who served him bring up the freezer. When Karen called the next day to complain, the concierge said, "My apologies, superior Tosevite, but there has been a certain disagreement with the kitchens. The cooks claim that anything connected with food or drink in any way is their province, and they should be the ones to bring the freezer and the measuring cups to you."

"I do not care who does it. I only care that someone someone does it." Karen used another emphatic cough. "Transfer my call to the head of the kitchens, if you would be so kind. I will see if I can get some action out of that male-or is it a female?" does it." Karen used another emphatic cough. "Transfer my call to the head of the kitchens, if you would be so kind. I will see if I can get some action out of that male-or is it a female?"

"A female-her name is Senyahh." Nibgris transferred the call with every sign of relief.

Senyahh seemed startled to see a Big Ugly staring out of the monitor at her. "Yes? You wish?" she asked in tones just this side of actively hostile.

"I wish the freezer Nibgris promised me yesterday, and the measuring cups in which to freeze water." Karen was feeling just this side-or perhaps just the other side-of hostile herself. Snarling at one more Lizard functionary was the last thing she wanted to do, but by then she would have crawled through flames and broken gla.s.s to get her hands on ice cubes.

"Why do you think I am responsible for fulfilling Nibgris' rash promises?" Senyahh demanded. "I see no necessity for such a bizarre request."

"That is because you are not a Tosevite," Karen said.

"By the spirits of Emperors past, I am glad I am not, too." Senyahh tacked on a scornful emphatic cough.

Karen's temper snapped. "By the spirits of Emperors past, Senyahh, I am glad of the same thing. You would be as much a disgrace to my species as you are to your own." The head of the kitchens hissed furiously. Ignoring her, Karen went on, "I expect the freezer and the cups inside of a tenth of a day. If they are not here, I shall complain to Fleet-lord Atvar, who has the hearing diaphragm of the present Emperor. Once Atvar is through with you, you may find out more about the spirits of Emperors past than you ever wanted to know. A tenth of a day, do you hear me?" She broke the connection before Senyahh could answer.

As she angrily stared at the blank monitor, she wondered if she'd gone too far. Would fear of punishment persuade the head of the kitchens to do as she wanted? Or would Senyahh decide Atvar was unlikely to side with a Big Ugly and against a fellow Lizard? Karen would know in a couple of hours.

"Being mulish?" Jonathan asked-a word he must have got from his father.

"I'll say!" The trouble Karen had had poured out of her. She finished, "Do you think I antagonized the miserable Lizard?"

"Probably-but so what?" Jonathan sounded unconcerned. "If you act like a superior, the Lizards will think you are. It works the same way with us, only a little less, I think. And if you don't have a freezer inside a tenth of a day, you really ought to give Atvar a piece of your mind. He'll back you."