Homeruns: Wild Pitch Part 11

When she finally regained her composure enough to speak, I nearly fell over by the two words she managed to get out. "I'm pregnant." It was so quiet, I was almost able to convince myself that I misheard her.

I ran through over a dozen questions, but all of them sounded condescending and judgmental to my own ears, so I knew they'd put Abi over the edge. The loudest question bouncing around in my mind was 'how did this happen?' but no way was I about to ask that. I'd have been perfectly happy ignoring the fact that my boyfriend's little sister had s.e.x, but that was going to be a bit difficult now.

"Does he know?" I asked as I settled back onto the couch. I desperately wanted a drink, but there was nothing in the house strong enough to dull the urge to kick the s.h.i.t out of the guy who'd knocked her up.

"Yeah, he knows." Her body tensed, and I knew this situation was about to get even worse. "I had to threaten his new s.l.u.t when she answered his phone, but he knows."

s.h.i.t. I cracked my neck, imagining each pop was a bone in the punk's face. I'd always been taught that violence wasn't the answer, but I was beginning to think this wouldn't be the first thing my parents were wrong about. I was really struggling as I watched Abi fall apart in my arms.

"What did he say when you told him?" It was hard to remain calm for her sake, but I somehow managed.

"He accused me of sleeping around on him, said it's probably not even his and I could do whatever I wanted to with the 'thing' as long as I forgot that I ever knew his number," she sobbed. "What am I going to do, Mason? There's no way I can raise a baby on my own. I don't even know if I ever want kids, much less right now."

"Have you been to the doctor?" I asked. My blood pressure had risen to what had to be close to stroke levels, and blood pumped furiously through my veins. There were so many things I wanted to say, and none of them would help her at all.

"Not yet," she admitted. "I don't want to gross you out, but I've never been regular so I didn't think anything of it when I skipped a month, but I've never missed two in a row. I took the test this afternoon after Sean went to the park. Oh, my G.o.d, he's going to kill me when he finds out."

He wasn't going to be happy, that was for sure, but I a.s.sured her that he wouldn't kill her, kick her out of the house, or any of the other worst-case scenarios she could think of. "You do realize you have to tell him, right? If it makes you feel better, I'll be right there with you, but I won't keep this from him."

"I know," she cried some more. "And I think I do want you there. He won't do anything drastic in front of witnesses."

I chuckled at her weak attempt to crack a joke and kissed her temple. We sat on the floor for close to an hour, her sobbing quietly until she finally drifted off to sleep. I carried her to the downstairs guest room and laid her on the bed, wondering what would have happened if I hadn't driven up here today.

I didn't bother Sean before the game, since he was starting. It wasn't a guarantee that I was going to make it up in time to go, and I figured it'd only worry him if I told him something had come up. Instead, I kicked back in his recliner and watched the game on TV while I considered what Abi was going through.

I'm sure she hadn't meant anything by it, but while she was in the midst of her breakdown, she'd made a comment about how she wished Sean and I had been together longer so we could raise her baby as our own. There were so many things f.u.c.ked up with that statement that I couldn't begin to count them, but she'd planted a seed in my mind.

There was a time when I couldn't wait to be a father. I dreamed of having a little boy to play catch with in the backyard. I saw my teammates spending time with their kids during spring training, and I wondered what it'd be like to have that. Now that I was with Sean and couldn't see myself ever wanting that to change, would it mean giving up my dream of having a family? Sean knew how I felt, but he still hadn't said whether or not a family was something he wanted. I wondered what he'd say if I mentioned it to him now.

Sometime after the fifth inning, I gave in to the exhaustion and drifted off to sleep.

Mason's Jeep was in the driveway when I got home from the game. I quickly parked and rushed inside, eager to see him after ten days apart. "Mace?" I called out through the dark house.

Abi sulked out of the guest room, her eyes red and puffy, and her hair sticking out in every direction. Without saying a word to me, she disappeared into the bathroom. I wondered what was going on, but selfishly chose to find my boyfriend instead.

I followed the sound of his soft snoring into the living room, where I found him pa.s.sed out on the couch. I traced a finger down the center of his chest, smiling when he jerked and rolled to face the back of the couch. I sat on the floor in front of him, watching him sleep until the temptation of that round a.s.s within my reach became too much to resist.

I carefully slid my hand beneath the waistband of Mason's shorts, trailing my fingers along his crease as I kissed the small of his back. He arched back and let out of a soft moan, letting me know he was awake.

"Hey stranger," I greeted him, leaning forward to kiss the nape of his neck. "Should we go somewhere a bit more comfortable?"

"Mmm, I could be persuaded." He rolled onto his back, wrapping his arms around my neck. He pulled me down to him, kissing me deeply, his tongue pressing against my lips, demanding entrance into my mouth. It was, perhaps, the most insistent and needy he'd been since we got together, and I loved eliciting such a response from him.

"My G.o.d, would you two please remember there are sibling eyes in the house?" Abi screeched, effectively ruining the moment. It was a good thing she did, because I'd allowed my desire for Mason to turn off my ability to think, and I was about a minute away from stripping him naked and taking him on the couch.

Mason sat up, carefully adjusting himself and reaching for an afghan to hide the tent in his nylon shorts. Abi eyed us carefully from the edge of the room and I sat down next to Mace, wondering how much it'd cost to get her a place of her own. It'd be an expense well worth it to have a bit of privacy.

"Hey, Abi, I thought you'd gone downstairs," I lied.

"Uh, no. I was in the bathroom, and was going to say goodnight, but apparently I interrupted." She seemed to shrink as she stood there, further raising my suspicions that she was upset about something beyond the normal college student stuff.

"Hey, no worries," I rea.s.sured her. "Why don't you come in and sit for a bit." I swore I heard Mason groan as I made the offer, but he wouldn't say anything because he knew I'd give up just about anything, including s.e.x, for my sister.

She curled up in the recliner, chewing on the corners of her fingernails. It reminded me how young and insecure she was beneath the bada.s.s faade she put up for most people. The scene before me became even more bizarre when I looked over to Mason and saw him having some sort of silent conversation with Abi, consisting of nothing but a series of head jerks and eyebrow lifts.

"Um, is there something going on that I need to know about?" I asked when it started to feel as though I was the odd man out.

Mason walked across the room to Abi and crouched next to her. I strained to hear what they were saying, to no avail. The longer I sat there watching the two of them, the more irritated I became. I was supposed to be the one she came to when she had problems. I was the one she'd always turned to when she was upset. And now, I struggled to convince myself I wasn't being replaced.

"Guys, whatever you're whispering about over there, someone had better spill it. It was a long day and I'm tired, so it's not a good time for games," I warned them.

"Babe, give her a minute," Mason pleaded with me. He kissed her on the cheek and made his way back to the couch. When he sat down next to me, he reached for my hand and gave it a hard squeeze that I'm certain was meant to rea.s.sure me, but it only made me more uneasy. It meant that whatever Abi was working up the courage to tell me was worse than anything I'd imagined. "Abi, remember what I told you earlier."

"What in the h.e.l.l's going on?" I whispered in his ear as I kissed his neck. A simple shake of his head was Mason's only response. I knew I'd get nothing more out of him, so I turned my focus on my baby sister. "Abi, you know I've always been here for you. Nothing will ever change that, unless you don't trust me enough to be honest with me."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as she doubled over in tears. I rushed to her side, scooping her out of the chair to place her in my lap. Ever since our parents brought her home from the hospital, I'd been unable to watch her cry without trying to comfort her. I doubted that'd ever change, and I didn't want it to. "Talk to me," I begged her.

"You promise you won't hate me?" she asked, her words strained.

"Never." It was a promise offered to her with the utmost certainty.

"I'm pregnant, Sean." The words ghosted across my ear as she continued sobbing into the crook of my neck. I gaped at Mason with wide eyes and he nodded, letting me know I'd heard exactly what I thought I had.

"Oh, sweetheart," I sighed, unable to think of anything else to say. I was more p.i.s.sed than I could remember ever being, but until I calmed down enough to find out how this happened, I wasn't about to hurl accusations at her. As she cried, I rubbed her back and whispered words of comfort into her ear. I told her over and over that she didn't have to do this alone, that Mason and I were here for her no matter what.

At some point, Mason kissed both of us on the top of the head and disappeared upstairs. Although I'd wanted nothing more than to spend the night with him, family came first. I was blessed to have a man in my life who understood that without me having to explain it to him.

Mason came down sometime after we'd dozed off to tell me it was time for bed. He lifted her off my lap and moved her to the couch before helping me up. My entire body ached, a combination of a rough game and sleeping in the chair with my sister pa.s.sed out on top of me.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" I asked as I stumbled up the stairs. It was a stupid question, because it was obvious that she was far from okay, but I hoped we'd somehow gotten her to see that this wasn't the end of the world.

He didn't answer until we were tucked into bed and the lights were out. "She's got a lot to think about but I promised her we'd help her however we can, the same as you did. I also told her it was cool if she wanted to stay here no matter what decision she makes. I hope that wasn't out of line, but she's terrified that everyone is going to abandon her."

I smiled, not only because he'd said exactly the right things to Abi, but because his offer for her to move in on a more permanent bases showed that he finally understood that I wanted this house to be ours, not just mine. "Yeah, that's totally fine."

I laid in the darkness, mulling over everything that had happened in the past few weeks. I had gone from wandering around the house trying to figure out how to fill the void when Mason and I were apart to living with the man of my dreams and having my pregnant, co-ed sister living in the bas.e.m.e.nt.

"Mason, are you asleep?" I asked when my mind wouldn't turn off. There was something I'd been dying to tell him for a while now, but I hadn't wanted to tell him over the phone or in pa.s.sing. I wanted to savor this moment.

"Yeah, babe. What's up?" His voice was gravelly, the way it was when he first woke up. He draped an arm over my chest, rolling to use me as a pillow.

"I wanted to say thank you for tonight," I said softly. "Well, not just tonight, but especially for the way you handled the situation with Abi. Every time I think I can't possibly love you more than I already do, you decide to surprise me."

Mason pushed up so he was looking down into my eyes. I could barely make out his features, but there was no missing the adoration radiating from his smile. "You mean that?"

"Of course I do," I responded without hesitation. "I have for a while, but I didn't want to freak you out."

"Sean, you should know by now that you're stuck with me," Mason teased, wrapping his fingers around the back of my neck. "There's nothing you can do or say that would scare me. I love you, too."

We shared a tender kiss before settling down to sleep.

Chapter 19.

Sean recruited Eric and Jason to help load up everything that needed to be moved from Chicago to the house so we'd be able to stack the boxes in the garage in time to kick back to watch the Homerun Derby. A lot of the married guys used the break as a time to get away with their families, so those of us with nothing better to do were banding together to cheer for our buddies.

"Jason seems like a good guy," I observed as he climbed into Eric's pickup to follow us to the condo.

"He is," Sean agreed. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd paid him to smack me upside the head when I start thinking too much."

"How so?" I asked, reaching across the console to rest my hand on Sean's knee. I wanted to slide closer to him, maybe lean my head on his shoulder to catch a quick nap while he drove, but I still wasn't totally comfortable with any sort of affection where others might see us. It was unlikely that anyone would even realize who was in the truck, but it was a chance I wasn't willing to take.

"He figured out something was going on between us from that first night, and it's like he can tell when I'm worried about anything and he knocks some sense into me."

"Does that happen often?" I asked, wondering what exactly Sean was worried about when it came to me. I tried convincing myself that it was the normal insecurities that came along with any new relationship, and that he wasn't still thinking I was going to suddenly realize my feelings for him were nothing more than some sort of morbid curiosity.

"Not as often as it did at first" he a.s.sured me. "You know I've never had a real relationship, and he keeps telling me that what I'm feeling is totally normal. And he's good about making sure no one overhears us talking specifically about you, because he knows neither of us are out. I know you might not want to hear it, but without both him and Eric, I probably would have gone crazy by now."

Now that I knew Eric a bit better, it didn't annoy me as much as I thought it would that Sean turned to him for a friendly ear. I still wished he'd talk to me when uncertainty crept in, but I was glad he had people he didn't have to worry about judging him for who he was. If anything, I was a bit jealous because the only people I could talk to were my parents, and there were some things I really didn't want to talk to them about.

The movers were already waiting in front of the building when we pulled up. Seeing that white box truck at the curb made what we were doing suddenly seem much more real. I was about to move in with the man I'd fallen in love with. It had taken Teresa almost a year to convince me to let her move in, and all Sean had to do was make the suggestion once and I'd given my notice to the property management company with relatively little protest.

Even more surprising, I wasn't freaking out about losing my freedom. I was looking forward to knowing there was the possibility of coming home to him. I couldn't wait to see what our future held.

While the guys lugged boxes out to the trucks, I supervised the movers as they loaded my barely used furniture. Sean found me standing in my bedroom, staring at the unmade bed. With the dresser and nightstands already on the truck, the room was little more than four walls and beige carpeting. It made no sense that I felt as though I was leaving something behind, but I'd lived here just long enough to make a few life-changing memories. This was where Sean and I first admitted that we wanted to be more than friends. It was where I started to understand what real love was. Logically, I knew that there was more for us in the future, but I wasn't expecting it to hit me quite so hard to walk away from our beginning.

"Not having second thoughts, are you?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned my head back on his shoulder, loving the way the hard planes of his arms and chest cradled me. Grounded me.

I turned in his arms and simply held him with my face buried in his neck, loving the way he kissed the side of my head. "Not a single one," I promised him. "I was thinking about that first night and how much different everything could have turned out. Driving to the hotel to pick you up may go down as one of the best things I've ever done in my life."

Suddenly, Sean and I fell onto the mattress as Eric and Jason tackled us. "Hey now, if I remember correctly, I think both of us deserve to be part of this little love fest," Jason teased, planting a sloppy kiss on Sean's cheek. "Eric for having the misfortune to get traded, and me for telling Mason to get you out of the hotel for the night."

"And you owe us extra, because you two were about ten seconds away from a couple of burly moving guys walking in on your make-out time," Eric added. "Seriously, Tucker, you used to be careful about no one catching you even looking at someone wrong."

On top of the fact that Sean and I were lying with two other men in my bed, it irritated me hearing Eric talk about their shared history while his hand was so close to my boyfriend's c.o.c.k. I twisted my way out from the tangle of arms and legs and stormed out of the room. I needed to get some air before I said something I couldn't take back. Something I knew I wouldn't say if I didn't know what I did. Eric was Sean's friend, and I had to trust him when he said there would never be anything more.

I walked down the block, muttering to myself like a crazy person. By the time I got back, Sean was sitting on the front steps waiting for me. He reached out for me when I went to walk past him. "Hey, you want to tell me what that was all about?"

He didn't let go of my arm when I tried pulling away, so I sat down next to him. "Look, you have your issues to overcome and I have mine. I walked out because I was being petty and immature and didn't want to make an a.s.s of myself."

The movers asked me to sign off on the paperwork so they could get on the road. I asked Sean if there was anything left inside that they were supposed to have moved and signed the bottom of the list when he said my bed had been the last of the big stuff. They gave us a suspicious glance, but said nothing before they jumped in the truck.

"Babe, I know it's tough for you, knowing that Eric and I have a past, but he's nothing compared to you. We had fun, but neither of us were ever foolish enough to think there was something more between us," he told me. "I never thought about coming out when I was with him because what we had would never have gone beyond closed doors."

"But you want to come out for me?" My heart raced at the thought of him making such a monumental gesture for me. It terrified me as I thought about the pressure that would be placed on our relationship, and how it'd be impossible to hope for anything in our lives to be private. And if he came out, it would only be a matter of time before I had to publicly admit that I loved him. Was I ready for that?

"Yeah, I would." He said it with such conviction that I knew whatever we faced would be worth it. "I can't promise you when it'll be, but the only thing worse than facing the media s.h.i.tstorm that's bound to hit is never being able to admit how much I love you."

A sense of peace washed over me as I walked to the management office to turn in my keys. After informing them that a service would be coming in to do a deep clean the following week and signing some paperwork, Sean and I walked back to his truck. I'd loved my time living in Chicago and even considered planting roots here once my career was over, but now I was excited to be leaving. Sean laced his fingers with mine as he pulled into traffic, solidifying the feeling of rightness that washed over me.

By the time we pulled into the large circle drive in front of Eric's house, my anxiety was at an all-time high. This was going to be the first time Sean and I had been in a social setting since solidifying our relationship and I worried it'd be impossible to keep my hands off him for the next few hours. h.e.l.l, if it hadn't been for Jason and Eric earlier, we likely would have been caught with our pants down, literally, by the movers, simply because there was something about Sean that short-circuited my brain. When I was with him, I wanted to be with him and I didn't consider the consequences.

My cheeks flushed as we rounded the house, remembering how close I'd come to s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up everything I could have had with Sean the last time we were here. While Sean and his teammates talked about their upcoming series, I walked to the back of the property. The view from the back of the house was breathtaking, but as I got closer to the sh.o.r.e, I did understand why Sean loved it out here. Rather than disappear down to the beach, I sat at the top of the hill with my arms curled around my knees, watching the boats skipping across the water. Eric's neighbors were also having a party, and I watched as a group of kids ran down the stairs with their sand toys in hand. Even in July, the water was chilly, but it didn't seem to faze the kids as they waded in and then ran back out.

A couple of men from the party waved at me as they made their way down to join the kids. "Daddy, come look at our castle!" one little girl shouted when she saw them toeing off their shoes at the bottom of the steps.

What happened next would have knocked me off my feet had I not already been sitting. The smaller of the two guys, who still had to be over six feet tall, held out his hand for the other man and they walked hand in hand to the little girl. The larger one scooped her off the ground and kissed her all over her face until she was laughing hysterically and wiggling to get down. The men then followed her to the group of kids and plopped down in the sand next to them. Every once in a while, the men would share a look or a gentle touch that made my heart clench.

When I realized I was falling in love with Sean, I'd essentially given up on ever having a family, complete with kids running around in the backyard, but now I was starting to see that while my future family may look different from the ones depicted on the pages of magazines, it didn't mean I couldn't still have that.

"Hey, you going to join the party or sit out here all day?" I looked up to see Sean standing over me. He was silhouetted by the sun, but still looked amazing. When I didn't immediately respond, he sat next to me. It didn't take more than a few seconds for him to realize what had captured my attention. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Just thinking," I told him, twirling my fingers through the gra.s.s next to me. "Have you ever thought about having kids?"

This wasn't the best time or place for this conversation, but I needed to know. My worldview was tipping on its axis yet again, and I wanted this out in the open before I let my mind wander too far.

"I think everyone thinks about it," he responded noncommittally.

"But?" I prodded when he didn't continue.

"It's not something I've let myself seriously consider," he admitted. "Between my schedule and the fact that I've spent most of my life trying to avoid serious relationships, I never saw it happening, so it seemed pointless to wish for something I'd never have."

His logic was sound, but that didn't mean it didn't sting. Maybe I was the one who needed a reality check, because I hadn't even considered the fact that it was going to be hard enough to maintain a relationship with Sean, much less think about adding anyone else into the mix. h.e.l.l, we'd gotten lucky enough to steal some time together when I got hurt, but it wasn't going to be like that for the next few months. Then, we'd have the winter together before having to go our separate ways yet again.

As long as both of us were playing, there was no point even considering kids. It'd be hard enough for us to convince anyone to give two gay men a child, but add in our erratic schedules and we'd be laughed out of the room.

"What about down the road?" I asked, hopefully.

"Maybe," he conceded. I wished we were alone so I could move closer to him, or at least place my hand over his on the ground between us. "I wouldn't be opposed to it, but there are so many factors that would have to be considered."

He quickly glanced over his shoulder to make sure we were alone before continuing. "This is something that's really important to you, yeah?"

"It was, but if it's not something you want, too, I'm not going to push the issue," I promised him. "And you're right, neither of us can even think about it right now because we spend so much time on the road. Forget I said anything."

I rolled to get up, wincing when a jolt of pain shot up my arm. My hand was healing nicely, but it had been stupid to put all of my weight on it. Sean's hand wrapped around my left wrist, pulling me back on my a.s.s. Now I was the one looking around, paranoid that someone would see us and figure out what was going on.

"Mace, I didn't say we couldn't think about it, but this isn't the right time. Remember, you're not the only one having to change his perspective with everything that's going on between us," he said softly. It was times like this when I fell a bit more in love with him. He was one of the strongest men I knew, yet every bit of his strength was guarding a soft heart. "I never thought you'd feel for me the way I do about you, and I'm still working to convince myself that this won't all go away. If it doesn't-"

"When it doesn't," I corrected him, because in my mind the only option was to find a way to make us work.

Sean gave me a crooked smile. "Okay, when I wake up and realize that you're not going anywhere, I think it's something we can talk about. But nothing's going to happen for a long time, because despite what you think, we both have a lot of ball left in us."