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"I was not supposed to happen," he explained. "I was... an accident. A terrible accident. A living, breathing, squalling mistake, nine pounds, four ounces."
"Goodness."
"Hawkscliffe acknowledged me as his own to try to save face. The gossips knew the truth. The amusing part, you see, is that I was not Mother's final mistake."
Her eyes widened.
"Rather than teaching her husband a lesson, her adultery simply destroyed the marriage. Their polite coexistence turned to hatred, and hatred eventually turned to apathy. At that point, Mother reunited with the man she ought to have married in the first place, Lord Carnarthen. By this time, there was no danger of a duel because Hawkscliffe no longer cared a whit what she did or with whom, as long as she was reasonably discreet. At least this time she chose a man that no one could be ashamed of. Lord Carnarthen fathered the twins, Damien and Lucien."
Eden's jaw dropped. "Oh, my!"
"Personally, I think she wanted to have a child with him, for love's sake. She ended up with two at one go. He was ecstatic, I hear, when the twins were born, both strong and healthy. He never married, you know. He loved her that much. He let his t.i.tle go extinct, dying without legitimate issue, rather than marry another woman. To protect his sons, Carnarthen persuaded Hawkscliffe to acknowledge the twins as he had acknowledged me. One big, happy family," he said with a twinge of bitterness in his deep voice.
He paused, brooding, his dark eyebrows knitted together, his arms folded across his chest. "At least Carnarthen's high rank helped to ensure the twins' acceptance. Unlike me, they also made an effort to please Hawkscliffe. At this point, we all still thought the duke was our father and for reasons unknown, simply disliked us. It was clear that he wanted nothing to do with us. Robert was everything to him. At least the twins had each other."
"You have another brother. Alec?"
"Ah, yes. Mother and Lord Carnarthen got into a spat."
Eden winced.
"The man let his line die out for her, but she couldn't even be faithful to him, in the end. He had something to do with the Admiralty, I think, and was often away on different missions, sometimes up to a year at a time. She wanted him to quit, but he refused. Well, he sailed off again. I don't know if she was sulking or genuinely lonely, but she decided to amuse herself with Sir Phillip Preston-Lawrence, a rising actor who caught her eye treading the boards at Drury Lane Theatre in the role of Hamlet. That's how I got my baby brother, and wasn't poor Carnarthen in for a shock when he got home."
"I think I need a drink," Eden said.
Jack flashed a lazy grin. "Rum for the lady pirate?"
She just looked at him. "What about Jacinda?"
"Would you believe she, too, belongs to the duke?"
Eden absorbed this in fascination. "They... made up?"
He nodded. "Hawkscliffe's health began to deteriorate. Some affliction of the heart had weakened him. Well, he was sent down to Hawkscliffe Hall in the country to recuperate, and Georgiana rushed to his side like a true, devoted wife to take care of him. They finally achieved a true marriage-just in time for him to die. Jacinda was his parting gift to my mother: the only girl. So, she, like Robert, is of the true blood, but after all of Mother's escapades, you can imagine the expectations Society had about her."
"Hmm. So, all of this was the reason Lady Maura wasn't allowed to marry you?"
"Yes. Her parents would have embraced Robert, but the boxer's whelp was out of the question." He paused reflectively. "It isn't an easy world for the illegitimate, you know. Even Shakespeare casts b.a.s.t.a.r.ds as villains in a few of his plays."
She smiled gently. "If Lady Maura grew up on the neighboring estate, then you must have known each other since childhood."
He nodded. "Yes. Her elder brother, Ian, was constantly at our house. He and Robert have always been the best of friends. Those two were more like brothers than Hawk and I ever were. Still are, I understand. Political allies, too. Of course, they've both got their t.i.tles now. Robert is the Duke of Hawkscliffe and Ian's the Marquess of Griffith. At one point, they considered finally uniting the clans by having Jacinda marry Ian, but it was not in the stars."
"I see," Eden murmured, recalling Lady Jacinda's doting rhapsodies in her letters about her beloved "Billy." After a thoughtful silence, she forced out bravely: "Did you love her?"
"I thought I did," he said with a wan smile. "In hindsight, I was just grateful somebody noticed I was alive."
She gazed at him in tender sympathy. "Did she love you?"
"Oh, of course not. I believed at the time that she did, but I soon learned that she merely enjoyed the attention and was more or less just practicing her coquetry on me before her coming-out. When her parents revealed their aspirations for her to marry a t.i.tle, and ordered her to stop seeing me, I vowed they would not separate us-true love and all that-and began planning our elopement so that we could be together."
"Elopement?" Eden exclaimed.
"Please bear in mind that I was seventeen and an idiot." He took out a cheroot but did not light it. "We were too young for a legal marriage in England, but Scotland was only a few miles over the border." He shrugged. "I got everything ready and went to collect her, but she refused to come. I can't say I blame her now but I wanted to kill both of us when her protests revealed her true feelings about me. Elopement would have meant scandal, and she had no intention of being banished from the ton for my sake."
"Poor Jack," she murmured softly.
He let out a snort of a laugh. "I swore I would protect her with my life, and provide for her to the best of my ability, but she was having none of it. She wanted the rank of a fine t.i.tle and the security of a fortune, ready-made. And these she soon acquired," he added. "Three months after she jilted me, she was wed to a n.o.ble marquess more than twice her age."
"Egads."
"Yes. That was the last straw for me. I kicked the dust of England off my shoes and left, swearing never to return. But now the rebels' need outweighs the angry oath of a little lovelorn Romeo," he said sardonically. "Practicality, my dear."
Eden was silent for a long moment, mulling over all that he had told her. "I suppose it will be awkward if we see Lady Maura when we get to London."
"Not for me."
"Do you think she ever regretted her choice?"
"I doubt it. She got what she wanted. She is Lady Avonworth now, a marchioness-though she has no children, which I find rather odd. Still, she became a leading hostess in the ton. On the other hand, I've got deeper pockets than her n.o.ble marquess now, and there is a certain satisfaction in that, I will admit."
"I imagine that's no accident."
"No, it's not," he admitted softly, pausing. "I swore to myself that I'd show her. I'd show them all." He lowered his lashes, veiling the deeply buried anger in his eyes. "They all said I'd never amount to anything."
"What did you mean when you spoke of becoming the villain of the family? How did that play itself out?"
Jack sighed.
One of his men hurried down the pa.s.sageway on some errand. Eden and Jack squeezed against their respective walls to let the sailor go hurrying through, excusing himself as he pa.s.sed.
Eden looked at her betrothed again with a questioning gaze.
"Jacinda wasn't born yet, so, apart from Robert, all of us were... illegitimate," he said in a low voice once the crewman had disappeared around the corner. "We didn't know that until we got to school and learned it from our cla.s.smates."
"Oh, Jack," she whispered.
He cleared his throat uneasily. "While we were younger, still at home, I eventually took it into my head that I should make the duke start treating the others like a proper father. I was used to him despising me and knew there was little hope in that vein, but I became very angry about the way he treated the younger ones. I had long since concluded that I somehow deserved the treatment I received, but there was no way Damien deserved it. Damien tried so hard to please our supposed father, all to no avail. Any other man would have gone down on his knees and thanked G.o.d for a son like Damien, but for all his striving, he was completely ignored. Lucien seemed to know better, somehow. Alec was just a three-year-old and stuck to our mother like a nettle-he was her favorite. He's been a favorite with the ladies ever since," he added wryly, "but one day, I just got fed up with the duke making us feel unwelcome in our own home. So we had a bit of a battle."
"Really?"
"Aye." He snorted. "Here I thought I was standing up for my brothers, but Damien screamed at me, telling me to stop making trouble. That I was only making everything worse for everyone. Somehow, as usual, it was all my fault."
She murmured wordless sympathy.
"But my efforts actually worked to some degree, because in contrast to me, yelling in the duke's face and standing up to him that way, the others looked like angels. Finally, Hawkscliffe noticed that he had all these young boys under his roof who believed he was their father. Well, he would've had to have been made of stone not to ease up a bit in his behavior, especially on Damien. He finally realized this lad was a born hero, just waiting for any sign of acknowledgment to point him in the right direction."
"It sounds like you really admire your brother."
"He's a b.l.o.o.d.y war-hero, Eden. The whole country admires him. Carnarthen, before he died, rallied his friends in the House of Lords to have Damien awarded a t.i.tle, since truly he was Carnarthen's firstborn son, and his own t.i.tle would be going extinct. They made Damien the Earl of Winterley, ostensibly as a reward for his valor in the war."
"What about Lucien?"
"Carnarthen left him a huge estate. They both did quite well by their real father," he drawled. "All I got was an old boxing trophy."
"I saw that," she murmured, shaking her head in response to his cynical smile. "Did you ever get to meet your real father?"
"Aye. After Maura ripped my poor young heart out, I went storming off to Ireland to track him down. I thought I might at least find acceptance with him. But that just goes to show you how naive a lad can be." He let out a weary sigh. "Sam O'Shay had retired from the ring by the time I was seventeen. As I said, he had returned to his native Ireland. Turned out he had gotten married to a local la.s.s famous for her temper and her sharp tongue. The Killarney Crusher had settled down, sired a brood of children, and turned into a more or less respectable henpecked husband. When I showed up on his doorstep, the b.a.s.t.a.r.d son he'd fathered in a tryst with a notorious English d.u.c.h.ess, he asked me to take a walk with him, and then explained to me that I must go away. His wife, you see, didn't know about his indiscretion, and it would have caused his real sons and daughters, as he put it, considerable distress and embarra.s.sment, as well."
"Oh, G.o.d, Jack."
"He invited me to stay for supper as long as I kept my mouth shut about who I really was. So, after the meal and a polite gla.s.s of port, along with a great many lies to explain my visit, I thanked the O'Shays for supper and bid them adieu. Then I went down to a wharfside tavern and got absolutely sotted."
"Oh, darling," she murmured sympathetically.
"Ah, but you haven't heard the best part," he chided. "Got a bit belligerent at the pub. Every pint I gulped down made me ever more keen for a fight. Chip off the old block, eh? After a few too many, the landlord threw me out, and just my luck, I walked straight into the clutches of the press gang."
"The press gang!" she cried. "Jack, you were shanghaied?"
"Aye," he said, chuckling.
"But as an aristocrat-"
"I was drunk. They didn't believe me when I told them I was the Duke of Hawkscliffe's son. Ironic, don't you think?"
"So, what did you do?" she cried.
"There was nothing I could do. They carried me off and signed me up for the navy."
"Good heavens. How did you fare?"
"Oh, about as well as I had in my brief stint at Oxford, dear. For about a month, I put up as much of a fight as I could. Made a point of disobeying every order I was given. Finally, I got tired of being flogged and seized to the shrouds and thrown in the brig, so I quit fighting. I learned how to work, and I learned how to sail." He ran his hand lovingly along the stout oak planks of his ship as he leaned against the bulkhead. "I daresay it saved my life."
Eden regarded him with a tender gaze. "I'm sorry for what you went through, Jack."
"Don't be," he said with a wry smile. "Press gang was the best thing that ever happened to me. If the sun and sea can't cure a man, nothing will."
"So, what happened then?"
"By the time the question of my ident.i.ty was cleared up and they saw I'd been telling the truth about my lofty connections, there were a great many apologies issued. Feeling vindicated, I chose to reenlist for another two years. His Grace of Hawkscliffe, now rather penitent in his illness, offered to buy me a handsome commission, but I refused. I didn't want any favors from him."
She studied him, trying to picture Jack all those years ago, young, alone and hurting, angry at the world. "He was awfully hard on you, wasn't he?" she asked softly.
"He was better to his hunting dogs."
"A lot of people have failed you."
He said nothing.
"I'm glad you told me, but all of that is behind you, my darling." She pushed away from the wall where she was leaning, crossed the short distance between them. "You've got me now-" She slipped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "And I'm going to give you all the love you can possibly stand."
"You're very sweet," he whispered, resting his hands on her waist.
Eden stretched up on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss, offering comfort.
Jack lowered his head, happy to accept. With a firm yet gentle touch, he pressed his hand into the small of her back, bringing her closer.
When her body was flush against his-chest to chest, belly to belly, the intoxicating heat of his loins fitted snugly to hers-the reaction was mutual and instantaneous.
Desire bloomed between them there in the hull's dim twilight, like one of the jungle's night-blooming flowers.
The tender caress of his mouth upon hers deepened. A wanton sigh escaped her as she shifted restlessly between his legs. He kneaded her shoulders for a moment and then cupped her head with both hands, his fingers invading her neat chignon, and carelessly disheveling it. Eden didn't care.
Clinging to him, she ran her hands through his hair, clutching a handful of it gently to coax him down further to her. He spread his legs wider and slid his back down the wood-planked wall a few inches.
"Come here," he ordered in a husky whisper, pulling her closer still. She stepped one leg over his angled thigh, forming a closer fit between them in the place where she wished she could have him inside of her now.
He clasped her thigh through her skirts as he went on kissing her in rising pa.s.sion. Her heart pounded, but the subtle motion of his hips was an invitation her body could not resist. She moved with him in scandalous simulation of the act, but Jack had become increasingly determined.
As she nibbled his lower lip in seductive teasing, he loosened her tight bodice and worked his hand down inside, cupping her breast. She let out a whimper when he gave her nipple a delicate squeeze between his thumb and middle finger.
His smell, his touch, his body against hers was driving her mad. She couldn't believe she had ever wanted a silly Town dandy in a fancy coat when there were men like this in the world-not many of them, to be sure, but this one was all hers. She stroked his face, his neck, bringing her palm slowly down his chest.
Reaching down between them, her touch sought the hefty length of him through his black trousers. He let out a low, relishing moan and she smiled l.u.s.tily upon finding him already hard.
She kissed him aggressively, molding her hand along the bulging ridge that she had found.
"You'd better stop that," he whispered, panting.
"Why?" she asked innocently, squeezing him-hard.
"G.o.d." He closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the planks.
It really was the most intriguing organ. She could feel it throbbing against her palm, and the slightest homage she paid it seemed to give him so much joy.
She brought her lips to his ear: "Remember that thing you did to me?"
"What thing?" he asked with a wicked smile, dragging his eyes open. They smoldered with blue flame.
"When you... kissed me. Here." She took his hand and guided it between her legs. At once, he cupped her mound through her skirts.
"Vividly," he replied, his fingertip finding her pleasure center with unerring aim through muslin skirts and cotton petticoat. The slight touch made her shudder with bliss in response. "What about it?"
"Can-I be allowed to-do that to you?" she asked, panting.
His eyes widened briefly. "Yes!" he blurted out.
Eden smiled, her eyes flashing, but when she licked her lips in antic.i.p.ation and laid hold of his waistband, he shook his head with a low, chiding laugh. "Not here, little wildcat. We'll get to that some other time." He captured her wrists and moved her hands up to his neck, giving her a soft kiss. "Right now, I have to be inside you."