Secrets We Should Keep 4 Crying

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I go into my room I watched my clock I have at least two hour till 8 O'clock. I lay on bed and stared at ceiling, think about how much life could be so unfair. when I was 11 years old my mother and father died in car accident than I should work in different house for scratch a leaving my only hope was that at least I could go to school by money that was left in my father and mother account. I was hopeless and disappointed girl ready to commit suicide by dropping myself into river but he didn't let me, he give me hope to live again, to be strong and don't try to kill myself just because world does not go on my favor , how should I return it to my side and get ride of it... I knew him when I saw him because he was our village master and even the kids knew him. The last time I had saw him, I was 7 years old and that time he gave me chocolate that tasted like strawberry. I never eat like that chocolate again. He took me under his care and teach me how to be hero for myself.. But I always see him as my hero. If he didn't stop me I was dead and I be forgotten forever like a piece of trash, that doesn't have any value.

By tasting salty water in my mouth, I touched my face and looked at my hand, tears, how pitiful, everything that come from heart is pitiful and nonsense, I stand up and walked in to bathroom. I looked at myself in mirror, I thought their must be some one else in the mirror because the girl in the mirror is completely different from what I could remember, that brightness in those brown eyes that attract every boy were off, under my eyes were sunken because of crying and lack of sleep and my eyelashes were sticking up like glue, my lips have lot of cracks with dried blood on it, I start to wash my face, losing someone is bad injury because of that I never fall in love with someone... but I can not stop G.o.d from taking my hero life, anyway he was old and he was suffering from the pain of that f.u.c.king cancer.

At least he will have peace in other world.. G.o.d bless her soul.

I came out of bathroom and walked out, I have no idea about Mr. Rad and his characteristics so I should act slowly and carefully, I even don't know his name, in what awful situation I got stuck. While I was preparing dinner I thought about things that I read in novels and how servant in the stories treated to earn the trust of there master, but now I thinking about that, all of them treated like b.i.t.c.h and hanging themselves to their master to be protect by them, what shame... Since I'm not slave nor servant so I should just go on my behavior and definitely, I can't pretend to be someone else just because I want to earn trust... The result is I should find home for myself as soon as possible and I can borrow money from Aylin till I can pay it back.

I took food tray and came out of kitchen, as I know his room is next to father room at the end of the hallway, in front of my room, I stand behind the door of his room and knocked it after few minutes his voice come"come in.. " I pushed the door and go inside I was in this room before I cleaned hear once a month just because father want his son room be clear... I put tray on the desk near bed and looked at him with emotionless eye. he was reading book in English" your dinner is ready.. Don't you have any other work that I could do it for you?! he looked at me from behind of his gla.s.s" no.. You can come back thirty minute later for taking dishes" I noded and came out of room and go straight into kitchen for eating my food. My cooking is very good. Ayda's husband like my food very much, as matter of fact he respect me only because of my delicious food.... I ate my dinner quitely and lonely. After washing my dishes. I go to his room for taking dishes I knocked but no one answer so I knocked again and again no respond.

I opened door slowly and glare at empty room. Where did he go? I took empty dishes.. I was searching in the room with my eyes when his voice come from behind of me "looking for something especial.." I turn back and looked at him there was few distance between us "no, nothing special, you weren't here when I knocked the door..." he cut my sentence with waving his hand in air "no explanation, please. You can go." I walked away without any word but by his question I stopped and shocked"why did you cry?! Was it for my father?!" I control my emotion and turn back to face him, he had grin on his mouth and mischief in his eyes, without hesitat I said "Did I cry? "

" I don't know. maybe we have cat in our house because I hear the sound of crying from your room but maybe it was cat. what is your idea to find it sooner. Miss Rostami ? The last thing I want from life is home pet.. "

My smile cut in half and I said" maybe it come from open window, don't be worry Mr. Rad I will search house to find it and you can get rest,easily" I bowed my head in respect and get out of room.

How he could treat like that with me in first day, he must be so rude and cruel, I don't think I even can handle myself one more time. Be patience, Rosa. I told myself. I should control my anger or no I will kick out of here. Be patience....