Hegel's Confession Volume 1 Chapter 28

Chapter 28 The Appearance of a Photo “Where are you going to? Why not stay at home for a good rest?” asked Chu Haoran as we walked. “Nothing, I . . . just wanted to hang around. . .” I smiled and covered my real intentions. n.o.body knew my history except for Lao Peng and that was why he added me to the crime squad. He understood that I wanted to investigate my parents' car accidence, and he knew I lived in the residence community behind the Bureau of Public Security. He tried to help me with his power and influence. “So, let me accompany you. I have nothing to do now.” Chu Haorao certainly realized that was just an excuse I had made. He wanted to see where I generally hung out.   I couldn’t reject him, and didn’t know how to explain myself. So I just shrugged my shoulders and allowed him to continue. We soon pa.s.sed the crowded street and went to the back of the Bureau of Public Security. We both kept silent and only the sound of out steps was heard. I bought some fruit when we pa.s.sed a supermarket, and Chu Haoran helped me carry them. I found he was not completely useless. After a while, I saw the garden of the Bureau, which caught my full attention. When had I last come to this garden? The last Spring Festival? Now it was already the summer, and a long time had pa.s.sed. The environment of the garden had become better, as more trees and more flowers were planted. The guard was still Grandpa Liu, who was about sixty and had served here for most of his life. “Isn’t this Girl Zhuxuan?” Grandpa Liu saw me from the window and he came out for me. “Grandpa Liu, yes, it’s me. You are still so strong.” I smiled. I remembered when Grandpa was still fifty, and Dad and Mom wouldn’t allow me to eat more candy. Still, he always gave me some candies and asked me to hide them well. “You are all grown up. I don’t even recognize you.” Grandpa Liu sighed. Our last communication was about where I was working, and why didn’t I move back to the apartment in the Bureau. I didn’t answer his question back then, and he didn’t ask again. “Have you eaten lunch? Eat with me here.” Grandpa Liu was going to take me to his small house. “Sorry, Grandpa, I am a little busy today. I just come back for something. But I bought some fruit for you. Next time I will eat with you,” I said and then asked Chu Haoran to give him the package of fruit. Grandpa was still muttering about me bringing things to visit, but when he saw Chu Haoran, he was surprised. “Child, is this your boyfriend?”   “Absolutely not. He is my co-worker, accompanying me to get my thing,” I explained to Grandpa, avoiding Chu Haoran, who misunderstood that I wanted to take advantage of him. But Chu Haoran didn’t express any opinion on this issue and he only smiled at Grandpa Liu. Grandpa Liu also gave him a meaningful smile, as if telling him that he understood everything about young children. After saying goodbye to Grandpa Liu, we went into the garden. The flowers were in full bloom. Last time when I went back, it was a snowy day, cold, and white time. I had left as soon as possible. When I thought of this, I remembered that I used to be joyful with winter and snow. Father always liked to have s...o...b..ll fights with me. But since the accident, I hated snow. They had lain in the snow, with their blood staining the white ground, like plum blossoms. “You are familiar with this garden?” Chu Haoran suddenly asked. I found my heart beating quicker when I heard this question. After taking a deep breath, I answered, “Yes, of course. I grew up here.”   Chu Haoran was surprised by me. But he didn’t ask more. We stepped toward our goal. Soon we arrived at my parent’s old apartment. It was about 120-square meters wide. After their leaving, living in this big apartment made me upset. I had endless nightmares of the accidence, which made me feel it was difficult to continue my life. So I seldom came back. If my parent had known this, would they be unhappy? I just didn’t know. I turned on the light when I entered the apartment; this was my habit, even though it was now day. I wanted to make sure the lights were still working, and then I turned off them. Chu Haoran kept an eye on me, but he didn’t say anything. I had covered the furniture with white cloth. I took away some and invited Chu Haoran to sit down on the sofa. “Have a rest. Let me do some cleaning.” “So this is your house?” he asked with uncertainty. I nodded and then became silent. I didn’t want to explain more. Going to the washroom, I took a towel and got it wet, and then I went back to clean the floor and the windows.   “You are sick today. Let me help you.” Chu Haoran went to the washroom and took out a mop to help me clean the floor. Seeing his skilled movements, I was surprised. I didn’t expect he knew how to do housekeeping duties. But I remembered that last time I went to his apartment, the living area was really clean and neat, though the colorss there were a little depressing. He was quick and he could arrange the apartment somewhat fashionably, unlike me. My apartment was always a mess and I always couldn’t find some things.   After some time, I went to the bedroom of my parents. I stood in front of the window, staring at the outside, making an effort to forbid myself to cry out loud. Although many years had pa.s.sed, I was still sad when I stepped back in here. The past was like yesterday, and I couldn’t weep away all the memories. Suddenly, I heard a sound of wood hitting the floor. It was like Chu Haorao’s mop touched something under the bed. “Sorry, I didn’t know there are things under the bed. I will be more careful later.” Chu Haoran thought that I was angry with him and he explained his actions to me. I shook my head, and said, “I didn’t know there was something under the bed, either, same as you.” Chu Haoran looked suspicious and looked at me without any idea what I was talking about. “Would you take the thing out?” I soon turned joyful. “Hm? Treasure? Why are your eyes so shiny?” I didn’t explain, but leaned down to check. This bed was about twenty centimeters high. I never thought there would be something hiding under it. Chu Haoran helped me to push the thing out with his mop. I stood up and hurriedly reached for it. It was a square wooden box, only about a finger-thick tall. That’s why it could be hidden under the bed. I opened the box and found some photos. At first, they looked strange to me. But after some seconds pa.s.sed, I understood.