Hegel's Confession Volume 1 Chapter 14

I took a walk inside after eating. His apartment had two bedrooms, two living rooms, plus a kitchen and a bathroom. The terrace was nice too. Only, the colors felt a little oppressive, with brown floors and navy curtains and sofa; the only bright spot was the white ceiling.

You could tell only a man lived here, or it wouldn’t be so drab. It was the feeling I had.

 “You seem to be feeling better.” Haoran teased me when he saw me snooping around.

I was afraid he’d bring up my breakdown earlier, so I chuckled, “I’m okay. I’m a little sleepy, where could I stay?”

Haoran pointed to a room across from the master bedroom. “Guest bedroom. Get some rest!”

The guest bedroom was what I imagined, with the same navy bedding, and nothing else, not even a dresser. Looked like no one really stayed here. The bed felt so soft after I collapsed into it. It was quite an ordeal from when I got off work to now. I need to get some sleep or tomorrow would be brutal.

Half an hour later, my eyes were still open. Every time I slept somewhere new, it was hard for me to fall asleep. It was a bad habit. Maybe drinking some wine would help. I tried to remember where the wine cabinet was in the apartment. It has been a while, so Haoran should be asleep by now. I just needed to be quiet.

Quickly, I got up and opened the door of the bedroom. I didn’t even wear slippers. It was quiet. Using the cell phone’s flashlight, I crept toward the wall by the dining room, and had to smile when I found the wine cabinet.

I didn’t drink often, only when I couldn’t sleep or felt awful. I wasn’t much of a wine expert, and didn’t know brands or prices. There was wine, champagne, liquors, and more in the cabinet.

The three bottles of wine were all on the highest level of the cabinet, which I couldn’t reach even when I stood on tiptoes. I quietly grabbed a stool, then picked up the bottle in the middle.

Then I looked for a wine gla.s.s, and opened the wine. It took ten minutes of work before I was able to drink. The wine felt strong, but then the flavor came, a rich taste that lingered. Even though I was no connoisseur, I knew this was a better wine than the kind I bought before, and was worth at least three hundred or four hundred yuan.

Just as I was putting the wine back, the room became bright. The sudden light scared me, when I turned around, I could see Haoran inside the room. He had turned on the light.

 “Good wine?” He said quietly, in an odd tone.

I thought his att.i.tude was weird, like he was pushing down some emotion. Was this wine super expensive? I didn’t think so, it was just a bottle of wine!

Wasn’t wine in the cabinet for drinking? “Hm, it was pretty good. Did you want a gla.s.s?” I felt a little sheepish as I waved the gla.s.s in my hand. As my hand moved, so did the red liquid in the gla.s.s.

Haoran seemed to take a deep breath. “It’s okay. Suit yourself. I’m going to bed. If you need anything else, turn on the light or call me, don’t sneak around. Also, put on slippers.”

Haoran left me his retreating back while I was silent and feeling conflicted. Then came the sound of his door closing. I snorted, so what if I liked to sneak around. It’s none of his business.

Maybe it was because of the wine, I slept soundly that night. After I wasn’t sure how long, the alarm came. It was seven AM. I didn’t want to leave the soft bed but I got up.

I had to compose myself after seeing the strange environment. It took a few seconds for me to realize this wasn’t my home but Haoran’s.

When I finished changing and went out to the living area, I could see Haoran busy in the kitchen. They said men who were focused were the most handsome, and I agreed.

Golden sunlight shone down on him, and he was inside a soft glow. This was something I would remember even years later.

Breakfast was simple: porridge and eggs. I still ate a lot though. I wondered to myself why my cooking was so bad, even though we both lived alone. I didn’t even want to eat what I cooked sometimes.

I noticed Haoran staring at me after finishing two bowls of porridge. “What? Is something wrong?”

Haoran laughed. “I’m just curious why you don’t get fat eating this much?”

 “It’s none of your business. I don’t get fat no matter how much I eat.” I declared as I finished my last bite of eggs.

His gaze changed from a kind of observation to a mysterious smile. This froze my confident expression, since I remembered what I was like last night. He wasn’t making fun of me, was he?

I looked down as my thoughts churned. My life was going to be awful now that he had something on me.

 “Don’t waste time. We’ll be late for work.” Haoran stood up and walked out of the dining room.

I relaxed. He didn’t seem to be the obnoxious type. I’ll just try to stay out of his way in the future. I quickly cleaned up, my impression of him changing once again.

We went to work as usual, but I was quiet. I wanted to say something but chose to stay silent. The more I said, the more mistakes I made. I should lay low for a few days.

As soon as I got to work I saw Old Peng sitting in Haoran’s chair. He had a file in his hand. I focused as soon as I saw him, since his appearance always meant a big case.

 “You are actually both on time. Where is Xiao Teng? He’ll be fined for being late.” Old Peng stared at us seriously, while also slapping the file against his hand.

I checked my watch, it was five minutes to eight AM. “Don’t worry, it’s not even eight yet. What’s going on?”

Old Peng is in his 40s and known for his no-nonsense demeanor. He sounded serious even when talking about normal stuff, which made one feel pressured. We were not afraid of him though; after knowing him for a few years, we weren’t as cautious as before, and could joke with him occasionally.

 “You young people never show up before it’s time. Back in the day, we started working at seven-thirty every day.” Old Peng sounded frustrated.

This was his favorite saying, to him, everything could be compared to how it used to be, and nothing now is as good as it used to be. My eyes met Haoran’s and we both smiled.