Harper's Round Table, May 28, 1895 Part 5

[_Several of the girls speak at once, excitedly._]

_Helen_. Oh no, we don't want her.

_Christabel_. She would just spoil the Club.

_Sophia_. To me she is positively disagreeable.

_Felicia_. She dresses so plainly.

_Helen_. And does up her hair horridly.

_Christabel_. She is scared out of her wits if we just speak to her. I asked her the other day where her home was, and she looked awfully funny, and didn't answer a word.

_Morna_. I don't exactly like her face. I wouldn't trust her.

_Sophia_. That's it. I don't believe she is sincere.

_Annette_. And she hasn't had a box since she came.

_Blanche_. Order! You know Alice wouldn't be a bit congenial to me. But we will take a vote. Somebody make a motion.

_Felicia_. I move that Alice Trowbridge be not admitted to this Club.

_Helen_. I second the motion.

_Blanche_. All in favor say aye.

_All_. Aye!

_Blanche_. There, that is settled. But, girls, I advise you to pay a little attention to Alice outside of the Club, just so that the teachers won't notice. Miss Foster is awfully sharp. She pries about a good deal more than there's any call for her to. I shall ask Alice to walk with me pretty soon.

_Agnes_. n.o.ble, self-sacrificing president! I will follow your example.

_Lucille_. I too.

_Sophia_. Suppose we all walk with her. Then Miss Foster can't say anything.

_Christabel_. I wish Miss Foster would mind her own business.

_Blanche_. Well, do not let's talk about this disagreeable subject any more. We were to have a paper on "Summer." Is the member prepared?

_Morna_ (_rises and reads_). I must beg pardon for having no paper prepared, but I have had so many headaches lately I have been warned by Dr. Louise not to work so hard. Instead of a paper, I have a proposal.

The Doctor says we ought to live out-of-doors more than we do. Let us have a summer _fete_--something that is quaint and original.

_Blanche_. It occurs to me that we might have a picnic and dress in peasant costume.

_Lucille_. How would you like a mountain laurel party?

_Agnes_. Oh, Lucille! just the thing. Girls, we could ask for a hall-holiday, and have a Queen, and cover her with lovely pink and white blossoms.

_Blanche_. How many would like a laurel party? Raise your hands.

[_All raise their hands._]

_Sophia_. Let's appoint a committee to get it up.

_Christabel_. Do you suppose we could let Alice in on that?

_Annette_. Oh, bother that tiresome girl! No, we can't.

[_A knock on the door. All hush, and sit up very straight._ Helen _unlocks and opens the door. An_ Old Woman _enters. She stoops, leans heavily on a cane, and limps. She has on a long black cloak, and wears a large poke bonnet. Adjusting gla.s.ses on her nose, she scans the club members, then hobbles up to the_ President.]

_Old Woman_. Good-afternoon. Might I sit down and visit you a few minutes? (Helen _places a chair_.) Thank you, dearie. You see, it's hard for me to stand. I'm pretty lame. But I can get about very well. Oh yes; very well, considering. You don't know me, I suppose?

_Blanche_. I think not. Perhaps you have got into the wrong place?

_Old Woman_. Isn't this the Ninepin Club?

_Blanche_. Yes.

_Old Woman_ (_chuckling_). It's the right place. Oh yes, it's the right place. The Ninepin Club is where I was bound for.

_Christabel_. A most extraordinary person.

_Old Woman_. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Oh, I see, nine of you. That's why you are the Ninepin Club. Quite a coincidence. (_Shakes her head gravely._) But I thought there were ten in your cla.s.s. How does it happen that you're one short?

_Blanche_. If you please, we would like to know what right you have to question our Club. Who are you, please?

_Old Woman_. Certainly, certainly. What's my name and where's my home?

My name is Granny Playfair, and I am the general Club regulator.

Whenever a Club is established, I look after it, d'ye see?

[_The girls appear much mystified._]

_Blanche_. Well, Granny Playfair?

_Granny_. And knowing about the Ninepin Club, I have come to regulate it.

_Blanche_. But how did you know about our Club? The members are pledged to secrecy.

_Granny_. How did I know? Well, there's where I am pledged to secrecy.

It's a mighty good thing for Clubs that I regulate them, though. Little birds of the air sometimes tell me things.

_Blanche_. But, are you sure that our Club needs regulating?

_Granny_. Quite sure. Your Club is wrong all through.

_Blanche_. I have made a special study of _Cushing's Manual_, and we are quite parliamentary.