Hard to Escape Chapter 35 Part1

Candle: This chapter is pretty sad….. Turns out Yan Xiao's childhood sucked major a.s.s.

The sudden return of my memories exhausted me. Yin Li therefore changed our itinerary so that we skipped the Cancun and Caribbean parts of our trip.

Sitting in the Mexico City airport, all I could think of was a shabby, old house. I'd lived there until I turned twelve. The desire to go to that old house pressed urgently down on my mind. I had the feeling that that place contained some memories I hadn't recovered yet, but were somehow very important. 

"I've already ordered people to investigate. We've already narrowed it down to approximately a hundred or so orphanages. No need to worry, we'll find it." Yin Li comforted me, patting my head. "We still have an hour before boarding. I'll go and buy a cup of coffee and get you some chocolate milk."

I nodded at him, but he had already left. Out of boredom, I wandered out of the waiting area and into the duty-free shops to browse around. When I happened to glance back, I was shocked speechless.

Yin Li carried a steaming cup in each hand. His expression was as cold as ice as he stood at the entrance of Starbucks. Facing him on the other side, with an ashen face, was Li Jing.

"Yin Li, you lowly b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" Li Jing said, gritting his teeth. Perhaps because we were in Mexico, he didn't care whether anyone understood Chinese. He didn't lower his voice in the slightest.

The pa.s.sing Mexicans looked curiously at these two tall Asian men confronting each other, the mutual hostility between them palpable.

Yin Li wasn't angered by Li Jing's att.i.tude. He merely smiled. "I never said I was high and mighty in the first place."

"To think I believed you!" Li Jing was unsatisfied with Yin Li's att.i.tude. "What was it exactly that we had agreed to?! Back then, Yi Yun wanted to have some peace and quiet alone. That's why she left France by herself. I'd wanted to chase after her, but she didn't want to see me. So I just quietly protected her. But then, my father suddenly pa.s.sed away, which of course was a major blow to me. And what did you do during this time? It was you who helped my 'little brothers'.  You gave them free advice on how to hinder me, helping them contest my father's will and cause trouble. Other than having to take care of those illegitimate b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, I also had to comfort my shocked and angered mother. At that time, you took the initiative to contact me. You offered, in exchange for me not immediately reporting Yin Xuan to the authorities, you wouldn't appear by Yi Yun's side while I was busy!

"You said the deal was I'd give Yin Xuan some leeway. After then I finished sorting out my business in France, we could fairly begin to chase Yi Yun from the same starting line!"

Yin Li gave Li Jing a calm look. "You can chase after her right now if you want. We aren't married yet."

"What sort of a joke is this? You've broken the agreement. Not only did you create a huge mess to keep me occupied, you also took advantage of my absence to appear by Yi Yun's side. This half year, she's gone through so much and struggled so much. Yet I could only hear about them secondhand from others. When she needed me the most, you separated me from her. Not to mention this. I rushed over after the press conference only to find that you had already brought her to Mexico. You used all sorts of methods to prevent me from contacting her!

"You aren't a gentleman at all! You aren't worthy of her!"

Yin Li didn't notice I was present. His att.i.tude when confronting Li Jing could even be called arrogant. "When it comes to love, I was never a gentleman. But you don't seem to qualify as one either. It's a pity you didn't guess the place wrong." He meant Yin Xuan's matter. Li Jing shot him another glance and grew quiet.

"How is Yi Yun? I want to see her."

Yin Li smiled. "Her memories are slowly coming back."

Li Jing revealed a happy expression, but Yin Li continued. "But have you ever even understood her? Clearly, her time with you didn't amount to much. She doesn't even like ballet."

"You don't even know her past, or how she lived with only the despair she knew as ballet. Even such that she would've preferred death. But you, and her mother, and everyone else, subconsciously, all of you only loved the her who danced ballet so dazzlingly." Yin Li gazed at Li Jing. "To be frank, perhaps it was you all who imperceptibly pushed her to the edge.

"That's probably why she rejected you. I eagerly look forward to what her att.i.tude towards you will be like when she fully recovers her memories." Yin Li continued on, calmly and quietly leaving Li Jing not a single drop of mercy.

Li Jing revealed an incredulous and wounded expression. It was obviously a big blow to him, and unexpectedly he couldn't even form a response.

I suddenly felt like I couldn't continue watching. Neither Yin Li nor Li Jing had noticed me, so I turned and left.

Not too long later, Yin Li returned. He pa.s.sed over the chocolate milk. Because of that conversation, the piping hot beverage had already cooled to a suitable temperature. I took a gulp, feeling the richness and sweetness in my mouth.

In the end, I didn't ask Yin Li anything. He had deceived Li Jing. He knew the real reason why I had turned Li Jing down.

In the end, Li Jing didn't make an appearance, but indeed, Yin Li didn't have any obligation to announce his presence.

As the plane took off, I watched as Mexico slowly departed from my line of sight. My head was filled with a jumble of memories.

In the messy courtyard was bizarrely-shaped clocktower, painted an ugly saffron yellow. There were many children, each wearing old clothes of varied colors. In the bitter cold of winter, they lined up for their meal.

Three days later, Yin Li brought me to the same exact place as in my memories. And I was shocked.

It was even more desolate than in my memories. This was a church's orphanage. They were equipped with all the necessary facilities, but because too many children had been taken in, it appeared overcrowded and stretched thin. The caretakers for the children were also obviously in short supply.

"I remember this place. If you go past that building, there's a small dorm that is a renovated old warehouse." My voice began to tremble. The frighteningly familiar feeling caused me to shake in fear. It wasn't that cold, but I could clearly hear my teeth chattering.

I resisted giving in to the feeling of discomfort. I lead Yin Li forwards. As I walked, bits and pieces of the past began to resurface. My chest hurt and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Come, let's walk towards that gra.s.sy area to loosen up. There's no rush to remember." Yin Li patted my back. I turned my head and saw that the gra.s.sy area he was pointing toward was adjacent to a large, concrete plaza.

Upon seeing that, my face turned white. 

To think this place hasn't changed one bit. It felt like I was transported back through time to when I was twelve. One morning, the old nuns had gathered together all the children who were between five and ten years of age.

Someone had come to adopt.

I remember that all the children had excitedly tidied up their appearances as much as they could, in hopes that it might improve their chances.

"Five to ten year olds, line up and let's go." The old nun was holding the hand of a child, her most favored child. She held their hand in a futile attempt to increase their chances of adoption.

I peered into the mirror in the hall, and saw my indistinct reflection. I looked thin and weak. My skin was an unhealthy sallow, my hair was thin and scraggly, and I didn't look like I was already twelve. Girls, by nature, were less well-received by those looking to adopt. Not to mention my unappealing appearance. The parents looking to adopt came by, one by one. Every time, I looked at them with the most hopeful gaze. However, my prayers were never heard. Their gazes always flitted past me before resting on another child. Year after year, I watch my playmates leave happily. 

They waved to me, saying, "You have to work hard to be adopted!" Then they would bid me goodbye. "Farewell, I'm about to start a new life and will never come back here again."

However, I was already twelve and had pa.s.sed the most optimal period to be adopted. Everyone preferred adopting younger children. They felt that they could not become as intimate with the older children.

"I was always hungry, and every day, I could never eat my fill. All the meals were rationed. Everyone starved. The older children would secretly steal others' rations to eat. I was too thin, and my food was often stolen." I sat on the ground, painfully recalling the past. It was strange. I had tried so hard to forget these unbearable memories after I had gone to France. I didn't want anyone to know that the girl who now danced ballet had once lived such a disgraceful life. But at that moment, when I looked into Yin Li's eyes, I wanted to tell him.

"I knew I had pretty much run out of chances. But I didn't want to live my life at the orphanage. I hated the place." Yin Li's hand gripped mine tighter, as if he was trying to transfer his strength to me. "So, I mixed in with the five to ten year olds. I was thin and ugly. The old nuns didn't really like me, and at first they hadn't even discovered that I had snuck into the group."

"To make myself more presentable, every time we lined up I would pinch my face before going out to bring some color into my cheeks. Or I would pinch harder, until my face swelled, so that I would look chubby and likable." I mockingly pinched my cheeks, as if I could still remember the feeling of incessant pain, of continuing to pinch even while tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Sometimes, I felt like I was a commodity waiting for the highest bidder. But because of my poor appearance, I was still sitting on the shelf. I was scared. I was scared that I had perhaps already pa.s.sed the expiration date and could only be thrown away."

I rested my head against Yin Li's shoulder. Even today, just thinking of these old memories, I felt pained. And this wasn't even the whole of it.