Hard to Escape - novelonlinefull.com
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I hung up. My throat felt dry, so I reached over for a cup of water. But I discovered that my whole body was shaking, from my shoulders all the way down to my fingertips. The tremors seemed to come from the palpitations in my heart. Shallow ripples formed in the cup, pulsating with the same rhythm as my heart.
I became afraid.
I even started to have misgivings about shooting the film. I had grown too close to her, too close for comfort. I didn't want to understand Yin Xuan any better. I felt like it was too dangerous.
Because of our outstanding collaboration, the director had specially added some scenes where the sisters went head on. Yin Xuan and my face-to-face meetings only grew in number.
From her face, I couldn't find any trace of yesterday's emotional breakdown. Yin Li looked on quietly like always. His face was rarely this calm. It seemed like he really didn't know. It even got to the point that during a rest break, he un.o.btrusively walked near me as he went to get a cup of coffee.
"You dance better than Xuan Xuan." Then he suddenly seemed at a loss for words. After a moment, he finally continued. "I'm very happy."
I watched his departing figure. After that interaction, I was absent-minded for the whole scene.
Sometimes, I really hoped that time would slow down.
But the movie shooting still slowly came to a conclusion. Yin Xuan's dedication to her role seemed to have lit a fire under the cast and crew. "Only I Dance" wrapped up shooting ahead of schedule.
"Then let's go out to eat!" The director was clearly overjoyed. "It just so happens that Director Huang's crew also wrapped up shooting today. Let's celebrate with both teams. I'll pay!"
"Mr. Yin, I'm really happy that I was able to work with Ms. Yin this time. It's really hard to find someone as dedicated as her, even among professional actors. Since you're our financial sponsor and supported us each step of the way, you can't be missing from our celebration. Come along!"
Yin Li smiled and nodded.
All of the cast and crew were br.i.m.m.i.n.g with happiness. Very quickly, the other team that the director spoke of joined us and was swept up in our joy.
Their team seemed to be shooting an idol drama that would debut next summer. Though it wouldn't air until far in the future, there still was a lot of talk about it. Its promotion was everywhere. Compared to our team full of ballet dancers, their team naturally had more clout.
With just a glance, I could see many famous actresses. I randomly looked up and saw Liu Nian.
Compared to the last time that I saw her, she was more slim. She had a very pretty blush on her cheeks, and that same air of naivety. Currently, she had a slight smile on her face and was walking towards Yin Li to sit next to him.
Everyone was drunk with merriment.
The atmosphere turned rowdy. The voices were too loud, and everything was in disarray. I walked towards the small garden behind the hotel's restaurant.
These days, time seemed to flow at a pace faster than normal. I needed to have some alone time for myself.
I never expected that there would already be someone in the garden. I only heard a woman's soft, frail sobs in the gloomy night.
I started to regret coming. Just as I was about to leave, I heard Yin Li's voice.
"Sorry, I already have someone I love very much."
"Mr. Yin, this is the first time I've fallen in love like this. I've liked you all along, from the very first time we met." The voice apparently belonged to Liu Nian. "Then tell me, what sort of person is the girl you love?" This was probably the first time Liu Nian was brutally rejected like this. Her tone sounded like she was unwilling to accept the matter.
Yin Li grew quiet, then lightly said, "Someone who I probably won't ever be with. From the very beginning, I had already lost her."
I fled.
Shooting had wrapped up. After some final production work, it would be officially considered over. And on that day, Yin Xuan would fall from grace. I, as the supporting actress, had nothing to do now that my scenes were shot. Even the director said that I didn't need to come on set anymore. Perhaps this celebration banquet would be my final goodbye with Yin Xuan and Yin Li.
As the dinner came to a close, Yin Xuan walked over to my side.
"I will hold a press conference on the second day of the movie's showings. I don't want the film to receive attention because of my personal matters. It should be talked about because of its contents." As she spoke, her prideful face didn't even show a single crack. "I just came to let you know that when the time comes, make sure to watch the live broadcast."
Then, Yin Xuan turned and walked over to her brother with a smile. "Brother, tonight's just about over. Let's go home."
"Yan Xiao, goodbye." She lifted her chin. She didn't wait for Yin Li's reaction and dragged him away.
I looked at their departing figures and was frozen for a moment. I finally said quietly in my heart, "Goodbye."
Afterwards, I returned to Wu Ke's place. I knew in my heart that even though my instinct for ballet was very strong, I still needed to diligently practice for a sustained period of time. Going a day without practicing the basics would cause my body to deteriorate.
"Yan Xiao, you try too hard!" At first, Wu Ke welcomed my return. But after a few days, she grew anxious. "I know that you stepped onto the stage for the first time in the movie and produced a good result. But you can't force yourself too much. You're already overworking yourself!"
However, I didn't take note of her words. I practiced as if I didn't know what being tired meant. I spun until I felt dizzy.
I don't know where my motivation for dance came from. I only felt that it was something natural. But this sort of practice didn't bring me any improvement. Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw someone who couldn't break through the plateau and was even less forgiving of myself. This sort of vicious feeling only made me increase my practice workload.
For a whole half month, I didn't exit the studio. Sweat dripped, muscles ached, and time pa.s.sed. Frank could also tell that something was wrong with me. Sometimes, he even stopped recording and s.n.a.t.c.hed away the new ballet shoes I was about to put on.
"Alicia, stop! You are wrecking yourself! You are squandering your talents and the love you have for ballet!"
I forcefully grabbed the shoes out of his hands. "No. Your sponsor definitely wants to see a better me. I will continue."
Frank didn't let it go like that. "My sponsor definitely doesn't want to see you like this." He then walked out, sulking.
I continued facing the mirror and dancing. In between the pauses of the music, I could hear Frank pa.s.sionately speaking into the telephone. He seemed to have a habit of always reporting my developments to this sponsor.
I also knew what I was doing wasn't healthy. Right now, I was unable to dance with a calm mind. Yin Xuan's car crash made me forget ballet. But Yin Xuan seemed to also be guiding me. I forgot what ballet felt like. But I wanted to take back everything that was once mine. I wanted to take back my life and find my complete self again. Over this process, ballet gave me a sense of satisfaction and ident.i.ty. But currently, all that was slowly eroding.