Hard Cash Part 13

"Unpardonable combination!" said Alfred with a slight sneer. "So you and Miss Dodd meet only at church!"

"At church? Hardly. She goes to St. Anne's: sits under a preacher who starves his flock with moral discourses, and holds out the sacraments of the Church as the means of grace."

Alfred shook his head good-humouredly. "Now, Jenny, that is a challenge; and you know we both got into a fury the last time we were betrayed into that miserable waste of time and temper, Theological discussion. No, no:--

Let sects delight to bark and bite For 'tis their nature to; Let gown and surplice growl and fight, For Satan makes them so.

But let you and I cut High Church and Low Church, and be brother and sister. Do tell me in English where you meet Julia Dodd; that's a dear; for young ladies 'meeting in the Lord' conveys no positive idea to my mind."

Jane Hardie sighed at this confession. "We meet in the cottages of the poor and the sick, whom He loved and pitied when on earth; and we, His unworthy servants, try to soothe their distress, and lead them to Him who can heal the soul as well as the body, and wipe away all the tears of all His people."

"Then it does you infinite credit, Jane," said Alfred, warmly. "Now, that is the voice of true religion; and not the whine of this sect, nor the snarl of that. And so she joins you in this good work? I am not surprised."

"We meet in it now and then, dear; but she can hardly be said to have joined me: I have a district, you know; but poor Mrs. Dodd will not allow Julia to enlist in the service. She visits independently, and by fits and starts; and I am afraid she thinks more of comforting their perishable bodies than of feeding their souls. It was but the other day she confessed to me her backwardness to speak in the way of instruction to women as old as her mother. She finds it so much easier to let them run on about their earthly troubles: and of course it is much _easier._ Ah! the world holds her still in some of its subtle meshes."

The speaker uttered this sadly; but presently, brightening up, said, with considerable _bonhomie,_ and almost a sprightly air: "But she is a dear girl, and the Lord will yet light her candle."

Alfred pulled a face as of one that drinketh verjuice unawares; but let it pa.s.s: hypercriticism was not his cue just then. "Well, Jenny," said he, "I have a favour to ask you. Introduce me to your friend, Miss Dodd.

Will you?"

Miss Hardie coloured faintly. "I would rather not, dear Alfred: the introduction could not be for her eternal good. Julia's soul is in a very ticklish state; she wavers as yet between this world and the other world; and it won't do; it won't do; there is no middle path. You would very likely turn the scale, and then I should have fought against her everlasting welfare--my friend's."

"What, am I an infidel?" inquired Alfred angrily. Jane looked distressed. "Oh no, Alfred; but you are a worldling."

Alfred, smothering a strong sense of irritation, besought her to hear reason; these big words were out of place here. "It is Dodd's sister; and he will introduce me at a word, worldling as I am."

"Then why urge me to do it, against my conscience?" asked the young lady, as sharply as if she had been a woman of the world. "You cannot be in _love_ with her, as you do not know her."

Alfred did not reply to this unlucky thrust, but made a last effort to soften her. "Can you call yourself my sister, and refuse me this trifling service, which her brother, who loves her and esteems her ten times more sincerely than you do, would not think of refusing me if he was at home?"

"Why should he? He is in the flesh himself; let the carnal introduce one another. I really must decline; but I am very, very sorry that you feel hurt about it."

"And I am very sorry I have not an amiable worldling for my sister, instead of an unamiable and devilish conceited Christian." And with these bitter words, Alfred s.n.a.t.c.hed a candle and bounced to bed in a fury. So apt is one pa.s.sion to rouse up others.

Jane Hardie let fall a gentle tear: but consoled herself with the conviction that she had done her duty, and that Alfred's anger was quite unreasonable, and so he would see as soon as he should cool.

The next day the lover, smarting under this check, and spurred to fresh efforts, invaded Sampson. That worthy was just going to dine at Albion Villa, so Alfred postponed pumping him till next day. Well, he called at the inn next day, and if the doctor was not just gone back to London!

Alfred wandered disconsolate homewards.

In the middle of Buchanan Street, an agitated treble called after him, "Mr. Halfred! hoh, Mr. Halfred!" He looked back and saw d.i.c.k Absalom, a promising young cricketer, brandishing a doc.u.ment and imploring aid.

"Oh, Master Halfred, dooce please come here. I durstn't leave the shop."

There is a tie between cricketers far too strong for social distinctions to divide, and, though Alfred muttered peevishly, "Whose cat is dead now?" he obeyed the strange summons.

The distress was a singular one. Master Absalom, I must premise, was the youngest of two lads in the employ of Mr. Jenner, a benevolent old chemist, a disciple of Malthus. Jenner taught the virtues of drugs and minerals to tender youths, at the expense of the public. Scarcely ten minutes had elapsed since a pretty servant girl came into the shop, and laid a paper on the counter, saying, "Please to make that up, young man." Now at fifteen we are gratified by inaccuracies of this kind from ripe female lips: so Master Absalom took the prescription with a complacent grin; his eye glanced over it; it fell to shaking in his hand, chill dismay penetrated his heart; and, to speak with oriental strictness, his liver turned instantly to water. However, he made a feeble clutch at Mercantile Mendacity, and stammered out, "Here's a many ingredients, and the governor's out walking, and he's been and locked the drawer where we keeps our haulhoppy. You couldn't come again in half an hour, Miss, could ye?" She acquiesced readily, for she was not habitually called Miss, and she had a follower, a languid one, living hard by, and belonged to a cla.s.s which thinks it consistent to come after its followers.

d.i.c.ky saw her safe off, and groaned at his ease. Here was a prescription full of new chemicals, sovereign, no doubt, _i.e.,_ deadly when applied Jennerically; and the very directions for use were in Latin words he had encountered in no prescription before. A year ago d.i.c.ky would have counted the prescribed ingredients on his fingers, and then taken down an equal number of little articles, solid or liquid, mixed them, delivered them, and so to cricket, serene; but now, his mind, to apply the universal cant, was "in a transition state." A year's practice had chilled the youthful valour which used to scatter Epsom salts or oxalic acid, magnesia or corrosive sublimate. An experiment or two by himself and his compeers, with comments by the coroner, had enlightened him as to the final result on the human body of potent chemicals fearlessly administered, leaving him dark as to their distinctive qualities applied remedially. What should he do? Run with the prescription to old Taylor in the next street, a chemist of forty years? Alas! at his tender age he had not omitted to chaff that reverend rival persistently and publicly.

Humble his establishment before the King Street one? Sooner perish drugs, and come eternal cricket! And after all, why not? Drummer-boys, and powder-monkeys, and other imps of his age that dealt destruction, did not depopulate gratis; Mankind acknowledged their services in cash: but old Jenner, taught by Philosophy through its organ the newspapers that "knowledge is riches," was above diluting with a few shillings a week the wealth a boy acquired behind his counter; so his apprentices got no salary. Then why not shut up the old rogue's shutters, and excite a little sympathy for him, to be followed by a powerful reaction on his return from walking; and go and offer his own services on the cricket-ground to field for the gentlemen by the hour, or bowl at a shilling on their b.a.l.l.s?

"Bowling is the lay for me," said he; "you get money for that, and you only bruise the gents a bit and break their thumbs: you can't put their vital sparks out as you can at this work."

By a striking coincidence the most influential member of the cricket club pa.s.sed while d.i.c.k was in this quandary.

"Oh, Mr. Halfred, you was always very good to me on the ground--you couldn't have me hired by the club, could ye? For I am sick of this trade; I wants to bowl."

"You little duffer!" said Alfred, "cricket is a recreation, not a business. Besides, it only lasts five months. Unless you adjourn to the anitipodes. Stick to the shop like a man, and make your fortune."

"Oh, Mr. Halfred," said d.i.c.k sorrowfully, "how can I find fortune here?

Jenner don't pay. And the crowner declares he will not have it; and the Barton _Chronicle_ says us young gents ought all to be given a holiday to go and see one of us hanged by lot. But this is what have broke this camel's back at last; here's a dalled thing to come smiling and smirking in with, and put it across a counter in a poor boy's hand. Oh! oh! oh!"

"d.i.c.k," said Alfred, "if you blubber, I'll give you a hiding. You have stumbled on a pa.s.sage you can't construe. Well, who has not? But we don't shed the briny about it. Here, let me have a go at it."

"Ah! I've heard you are a scholard," said d.i.c.k, "but you won't make out this; there's some new preparation of mercury, and there's musk, and there's h.o.r.ehound, and there's a neutral salt: and dal his old head that wrote it!"

"Hold your jaw, and listen, while I construe it to you. _'Die Mercurii,_ on Wednesday--_decima hora vespertina,_ at ten o'clock at night--_eat in Musca:'_ what does that mean? _'Eat in Musca?'_ I see! this is modern Latin with a vengeance. 'Let him go in a fly to the Towns-hall.

_Saltet,_ let him jump--_c.u.m tredecim caniculis,_ with thirteen little dogs--_praesertim meo,_ especially with my little dog.' d.i.c.ky, this prescription emanates from Bedlam direct. _'Domum reddita'_--hallo! it is a woman, then. 'Let _her_ go in a fly to the--Town-hall, eh?' 'Let _her_ jump, no, dance, with thirteen whelps, especially mine.' Ha! ha!

ha! And who is the woman that is to do all this I wonder?"

"Woman, indeed!" said a treble at the door! "no more than I am; it's for a young lady. O jiminy!"

This polite e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n was drawn out by the speaker's sudden recognition of Alfred, who had raised his head at her remonstrance, and now started in his turn; for it was the black-eyed servant of Albion Villa. They looked at one another in expressive silence.

"Yes, sir, it is for my young lady. Is it ready, young man?"

"No, it ain't: and never will," squealed d.i.c.k angrily "It's a vile 'oax; and you ought to be ashamed of yourself bringing it into a respectable shop."

Alfred silenced him, and told Sarah he thought Miss Dodd ought to know the nature of this prescription before it went round the chemists.

He borrowed paper of d.i.c.k and wrote:

"Mr. Alfred Hardie presents his compliments to Miss Dodd, and begs leave to inform her that he has, by the merest accident, intercepted the enclosed prescription. As it seems rather a sorry jest, and tends to attract attention to Miss Dodd and her movements, he has ventured with some misgivings to send it back with a literal translation, on reading which it will be for Miss Dodd to decide whether it is to circulate.

"'On Wednesday, at ten P.M., let her go in a fly to the Town-hall, and dance with thirteen little {little dogs, puppies, whelps,} especially with mine: return home at six A.M. and sleep till dinner, and repeat the folly as occasion serves.'"

"Suppose I could get it into Miss's hands when she's alone?" whispered Sarah.

"You would earn my warmest grat.i.tude."

"'Warmest grat.i.tude!' Is that a warm gownd, or a warm clock, I wonder?"

"It is both, when the man is a gentleman, and a pretty, dark-eyed girl pities him and stands his friend."

Sarah smiled, and whispered, "Give it me; I'll do my best."

Alfred enclosed the prescription and his note in one cover, handed them to her, and slipped a sovereign into her hand. He whispered, "Be prudent."